thecapitol | A neverending tunnel

Entry tags:

A neverending tunnel

WHO| Mindy, open
WHAT| Total brooding and evaluation of life choices here.
WHEN| Week 5
WHERE| Training room and the tower
WARNINGS/NOTES Mindy, so good amount of swearing, thoughts/talk of deaths

The riot should have been the easiest thing. What did Mindy want more than burning, breaking, smashing and shooting any living thing she could spy with her eyes? It should have been like putting on a second skin, and really, it would have been, had she stayed in the Capitol. She'd have finally had her chance to show the Capitol what she really thought of them and all the shit they'd put her through all this time.

Then, of course, they tortured her and right after that, threw her into the Arena. After a temporary good time with some friends, she watched each of them die, even the ones she'd sworn to protect, right down to Ellie, her bestie, and getting killed herself by some murdering cyclops bitch.

And then, back here, where Eva fucking pulls a black out on the Capitol, something Mindy could not stop but admire. The sheer bitchitude she showed, her treachery for the Capitol, only to fuck them balls deep in the ass for three hours.

But that, obviously, spelled Eva's end, and knowing Eva, she wouldn't go for some spectacle execution where they disemboweled her or gunned her down after torture. No, she'd die alone, private, and that was that.

And here she was, three hours of madness in her hands, and she....fumbled. Those memories, that self hatred dragged on her, pushed her down and she doubted herself and everything around her. She wanted to burn things and cause mayhem but for the first time in her life, she feared the pain.

Well, not entirely accurate. She didn't want anymore, not right away for fucks sake. She was still having nightmares of her torture, only now she had to deal with dead Hotaru and Chibi Usa floating around in her dream, along with Ellie falling through ice. It was only the Arena, she knew that, but that didn't stop her smothered yelling, her body taut as the pain came again, swallowing screams and breaking into closed mouth sobs she suppressed. She began to lock her room and not sleep (again). She was in her room, and honestly?

She could use the company.

_

Now numbness was replaced with anger. Chibi Usa was gone, which made her angry, but was doable. She didn't want a girl that young watching people scream and die. But Riley. She was in her district. She was a friend. She was ELLIE'S...something (girlfrined? Friend with benefits? Main girl?), and now she was dead. Again.

Shittiness. At least Ellie had closure, even if it was in the most fucked up way possible.

So Mindy's frustrations went into her obstacle course, jumping through rings, punching bags, seeing how much further she could jump. Her body was tight, screaming at her, and this, after all this time, was comforting now. She was sweaty, bruised, but all by her own hands.

She felt, at least, like herself again, concentrating on how pissed she was.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Mindy made a face. "Yeah, I know its supposed to be pretty common. I also know that I don't like the idea of this fucking place doping me up and getting me addicted to their special brand of shit. I don't know what they could be putting into this stuff."

She'd still use it anyway, of course. Anything would be better than what she was dealing with now.

"Aww. I liked you being under me like a pillow."

"Well we can have more of that back in the common room. Training area is hardly the place for cuddly snuggly time." She wagged a finger teasingly and sprang to her feet.

"So should we...I dunno change anything about how we mentor now that we gotta pick up the slack for our dearly departed? Make any adjustments?"

"And just like that you killed the magic!" Mindy said, pouting. She kicked herself up though, dusting herself off quietly.

"Yeah, I think so," Mindy said. "Don't really have a choice now. Got to make sure that they know we're still here, even if we are tinged with disgrace or whatever. Might even want to start giving them daily training, so we don't end up on the Capitol's bad list."

Harley stuck out her tongue playfully and started circling back around to the start of the obstacle course to give it a proper run through despite the missing board.

"Well we can try. Donnie, and Stevie tend to take care of themselves in that regard but we can train with them. Elsa is willing but needs alot of work, and I say that with love." She reasoned.

"I dunno bubcus about Gannicus or Sollux because of how busy we've been. Hubert is a good kid but I haven't seen him since the arena. I like that Dave kid too, he's got style."

Mindy watched her with some amusement. She figured this would be something that would be up Harley's alley: she definitely had the endurance for it.

"Yeah, I think we should definitely have a powwow with them again. Steve especially, since, you know, what happened the last time. I'm gonna give Elsa another run down when I see her. I didn't even get to see what happened to her in the newest arena, for obvious reasons."

She smirked. "I know nothing about Sollux or Hubert, but Gannicus is right up there with Don and Steve. Dave is just one of my favs. I want him to win sometime soon, if only because it might be good to have him as a mentor."

Harley grinned wickedly when Elsa's name came up. Clearly Mindy had not seen the video of her and Elsa locking lips passionately in the front seat of the SUV after Harley had jumped it from one floor to another.

"Dave's got all the personality, but there's something holding him back. Not sure what it is yet because I didn't have alot of time alone with him."

No, Mindy had not. And you are an awful, awful friend for not even mentioning that to begin with, Harley.

"Dave's got stakes in the game, and he's not the type to go straight up murdering people. He'll play it safe and defend himself, or at least ally himself with someone who can play the game the way its supposed to be."

The surprise will be even better when they're watching the talking heads after dinner.

"We can work with that." Harley brushed her chin thoughtfully and without warning took off along the course.

She was a blur of blond as she dashed and dodged and rolled and sprang through the different blockades and challenges put in her path. Mindy was right in guessing these sorts of things were made for someone as agile as Harley and by the time she reached the finish line her time clipped onto a nearby screen showing her as being one of the best times among recent tributes who had run it.

She cheered and waved to Mindy from the other side barely even breaking a sweat.

Mindy was looking forward to touching base with her tributes. As it was, there were a few still in the Arena, and she wanted to make sure they were all accounted for. She was sure enough about Riley, and then hit home like a sinking stone.

"Yeah we can," she said, and idly watched Harley run the obstacle course. She was fast, and hell, she was GOOD. The Arena tended not to showcase people at their best, what with all the killing and random circumstances they threw at them. Here, she could see that Harley more than deserved to be a mentor there.

Of course, now it was her turn. Gritting her teeth, she smoked the obstacles: she had never been one for lacking speed, and that had only increased with a training room to practice in.

Harley was waiting on the other side with a water bottle...and promptly squirted Mindy in the face with it.

"At least some things haven't changed. We're still in this together pipsqueak."

"Augh, you bitch!" Mindy laughed, wiping her face. "Yeah, yeah, I know!"

She sat down, hand through her head, sighing. "None of the kids made it, of course. Always too much shit working against them."

"It's happened before. It'll happen again." Harley countered and took a long swing from the water bottle. "They've had a few victors in the past who had almost no combat skills. It's been awhile but it's happened."

She was just gonna roll right past the knowledge that Mindy had been trying to protect those kids and was blaming herself.

"Hey wait what about that Sandy kid? She's still in there isn't she?"

"It doesn't happen often." She sure as hell didn't think it would now, not if the kids didn't play fast and dirty. The adults, aftre all, sometimes stop caring about the fact of children, which they ought to.

Yeah, that was a good plan.

"Sandy's not going to win," Mindy said flatly, thinking of their last fight "but I have to hand it to her: this is the farthest she's gotten, and that's pretty damn close."

"Sheesh, and here I thought you were one of her fans." Harley chuckled and began walking back around to the entrance of the course for another go.

"She's grown up alot in the past few months. I don't know her personally but I watch enough of the arenas to see her progression. She'll be a stone cold killer in no time...or she'll shatter under the pressure."

"Our relationship is...complicated," she said "but I'm not saying that because I want her to lose. I'm saying that because its obvious there are a few psychos there who don't mind killing kids. The last few people in the Arena tend to be the most desperate, and you know that means they take out who they think are the weaker ones first."

She sighed "I know. I've been with her even closer than you have. I'd say its a good thing she's getting stronger, but I don't know. I always liked her how she was too. I don't know if I want her to be, you know, stone cold,, you know?"

Harley nodded in understanding "Well, maybe she'll get lucky. There are plenty of traps around the arena, and she's pretty small. She could hide out for the last couple of weeks if she's smart."

But from the sound of her voice Harley doesn't think Mindy's wrong. She taps the button to reset the clock for their second run.

Mindy shook her head. "That...this last time was weird. I don't know what they did to her, but she was really strange this time. I think its getting to the point that these bastards are wearing her down. Between having Pruna for a girlfriend, ME for a sort of friend and being tortured and losing her friends, she's starting to buck."

Harley gave Mindy what she supposed was a comforting look before taking off through the course again. Two seconds slower then last time.

"Human's are great at adapting!" She called from the far end. "This could just be how she's adapting to the situation!"

Pretty good. Even a little bit slower, Harley was still rocking the obstacle course in her own way.

"I know what human beings can do!" She protested. "But I don't know man, is it really going to fit her?"

Maybe...maybe she just didn't want that for Sandy.

Harley offered a "Who knows?" Sort of shrug.

"If it doesn't she'll just keep changing, sometimes insanity is the only logical choice." She winked playfully at the horrific concept that Mindy's friend might be losing her mind.

"Dude, shut up."

The idea of Sandy being crazy unnerved her. She always thought of HERSELF as crazy, and definitely Harley, but there was a difference. At least they were HAPPY in their crazy. They resigned themselves to it, and letting chaos take over.

"If Sandy goes crazy, it won't be funny or interesting. It'll be fucked up. This place has messed with her mind enough. That fucking girl can never catch a break here. After so long, that kind of crazy gets nasty."

"I'm just saying don't lose hope. Who knows maybe crazy will work for her, that's the thing about crazy. You have a hard time predicting it. I mean look at me! I'm a mentor! By all accounts my crazy should have kept me in the arena forever but here I am."

Of course there were different kinds of crazy. Harley was coming back around to the front of the course now.

"Oh really?" Mindy turned to her. "Well, you've been here longer than I have, right? You're the one with the Doctorate. You've seen Sandy on and off. If she were to lose it based on all the fucking shit she's been through, right now? How bad of a crazy do you think it'd be?"

Because Mindy already had an idea, and it wasn't pretty.

Harley didn't want to keep shrugging when Mindy had a good point. She held her fingers apart to indicate a small distance.

"Well it all depends. She might be a perfectly functioning crazy...or she might be a gibbering loon. It all depends on how good she is at adapting. The brain rewires itself as it needs."

Mindy sighed. "It sounds so fucking pussy to say it...but I want Sandy to be happy. She's got a whole helping of NOT that, and the more that shit piles up, the more its going to force her to believe there's nothing to fight for anymore. She had people before, you know? She had someone giving a shit what happens to her. It goes a long way, especially for a kid in this."

And sometimes someone who shouldn't be here could be that, wherever he was.

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