thecapitol | indisposed in disguise

Entry tags:

indisposed in disguise

Who| Blaine and OPEN
What| Blaine lost three good friends (Diana, Atticus and Lottie), watched his own body rot away, and was killed a little more violently this time around. He's not okay in the head but he'll be damned if he lets you know that. Too bad his mask might be cracking.
Where| Tribute Tower. Three settings; District 2 Suites, Boxing Area in Training Center and Common Mess Hall
When| Final week of the Arena
Warnings/Notes| Blaine's a little broken. I'll add warnings as needed.

[District 2 Suites]

When Blaine woke up he took a shower and paid extra attention to his hair. The movements of the comb as he flattened out his curls was almost therapeutic. Each time he slid it's teeth through the black strands he felt himself getting a little more control. There were dark circles under his eyes, but he knew how to use the products of the Capitol by now and it was surprisingly easy to cover them up.

He had been back in the Capitol long enough now to know that he couldn't find Lottie, Atticus or Diana. He knew sometimes people didn't come back because he had seen posts on the network about it before. He had convinced himself that it wouldn't happen to the people that he knew though. They couldn't be among the unlucky. Diana had been a sure win for Victory. Lottie was popular because she was so flirty and fun. He and Atticus could play up their matching faces for the camera, and hadn't the werewolf and Kurt provided enough heartbreaking entertainment for the way that they stuck together? What did these Capitol people even want if it wasn't a good show?

It hurt to think about that, so instead he focused on his hair. He flattened it until it was stuck to his hair, all hint of curls hidden away. He couldn't look like Atticus right now because that hurt too.

He gathered up work out clothes and folded them carefully into a duffel bag before leaving his room. A cheerful enough expression was plastered onto his face as he walked through the Suite. He planned to get to the Training Center as quickly as possible, but he also did his best to not seem opposed to the idea of stopping and taking to his Suite mates.

[Boxing in Training Center]

He didn't eat breakfast. Instead he went right down to the Training Center. The gel here was even better than the stuff back home as he could work out and sweat without a single curl breaking free. He supposed he ought to be grateful for that, just as much as he should be for finally becoming a star.

He picked out a bag and wrapped his hands in tape before he started to hit it. Each time he let a fist land against the bag he considered all of the things the Capitol would expect him to be grateful about.

Hair gel. Good food. Clothing. His face on TV.

The honor of being killed for their entertainment.

His face was focused entirely on the bag as he pounded away at it, imagining himself with the ability to push each of those things away.

[Common Mess Hall]

After working out, Blaine really needed to eat something. He had been careful to clean himself up and was dressed as impeccably as ever. He sat with his back to the screens, not wanting to watch any more death. It was surprisingly hard, as they seemed to want to display the Games everywhere.

It probably would have been smarter to eat in his room, but he still was holding out the hope that he'd see one of his missing friends.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Blaine didn't really want to comment on who had taken Sandy out. How did you even approach a topic like that? He frowned a bit at the description, but wasn't sure to press. Changing the subject to Diana was easier.

"Yes. That's her. Have you seen her since you got back?"

Sandy shook her head. "Seems like every time we get back from the arena a few of us don't come back. Maybe she just wasn't interesting enough for the viewers at home." She sounded bitter about it naturally.

Blaine felt his stomach flip at the idea. He leaned forward and put a hand over his torso, as if he'd be able to still his nerves by touching them. "Oh..." he said, not really sure what else to say to that. He thought he ought to try to figure out why Sandy sounded so bitter and if there was something he could do to help her, but he was too distracted by the terrible idea that Diana was really gone.

"Hey." She snapped her fingers to get his attention again.

"You don't know anything till you see her again. For all you know she could be fine." A surprisingly logical assessment from the young tribute. Then she jerked a thumb over her shoulder at a passing Avox.

"And it could always be worse right?"

Blaine blinked as she brought him back. He offered her a small, strained, half-smile as a thank you for doing so before he nodded. "You're right."

The idea that Diana might be an Avox filled him with dread, but he managed not to let it show on his face. "It can always get worse."

After a moment, he asked with some real concern, "Do you know if you lost anyone this round?"

Sandy shook her head, "I don't have that many people I care about in the first place." She muttered with a bitterness to her that most children her age shouldn't know.

But on the plus side she was talking to him so maybe that meant he was on the list.

"There's so many of us it's easy to lose one. And the TVs don't really talk about the ones who don't come back."

Blaine nodded at that. "I know. Isn't that a little strange? You'd think that the citizens would get used to us coming back so when we don't they'd be a little put out. What if one of the ones who disappeared what their favorite?"

Then again, bringing attention to anything they were doing that might disappoint the eager masses didn't seem to be the Gamemakers' style.

Sandy groaned and buried her face in her hands, rubbing at her cheeks and eyes as she tried to grapple with another mystery.

"I dunno, probably something dangerous. It's all something dangerous around here. Ask too many questions get glared at. Tell people what you really think and get a cuff of shame." She held up her wrist displaying one of the cuffs that the more troublesome tributes had been given. She had apparently painted hers black with various swirls on it, but the original form was unmistakable.

Blaine's wrists were completely clear of the bands, but only because he had been too scared to confront their captors.

"I know that that's what they're saying it is, but a lot of you that ended up with those cuffs should be proud. It might be dangerous, but at least you were doing something."

That surprised Sandy and she glanced at him curiously.

"You really think it's good for us to keep standing up to them and saying what we really think?"

Blaine pressed his lips together. "That's a complicated question isn't it? I don't want you to get hurt, Sandy. I really, really don't. If you keep it up, that might happen. Or you might not come back after the next Arena. I wouldn't want that either."

But that doesn't mean that he thought all of the people who had the cuffs should stop. Nothing was going to change if everyone was as afraid as he was. He knew he should be among them, but that wouldn't just put him in danger. He had to think about Kurt too.

"That makes two of us." Sandy looked hard at the cuff she had tried to disguise with paint and considered the nature of rebellion. Was she willing to get hurt or die to overthrow this worlds ideas about human life?

Deciding to change the subject Sandy dug around in her head for the best way to approach the question that had popped into her head when she'd first spotted Blain today.

"So hey...weird question." She started letting him know the subject was changing. "You like boys right?"

"Yeah," Blaine replied, moving his head up a bit in a slightly proud sort of way. He wasn't the type of guy to run around painted in rainbows (not that he would ever judge people who were, that kind of visibility was extremely important) but he was always sure to be proud to admit who he was. "Why?"

"Oh good." She took on a very business like appearance.

"I want to start dating Pruna. Teach me how to be gay."

No sense in being subtle.

Blaine stared for a moment and then smiled a bit, though it was a little uncomfortable. "Um..." he started, and then after a moment. "I'm not a lesbian though," he pointed out finally, still not sure how to respond to a request like that.

She shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't know any lesbians. You're the closest thing I've got."

And if she wanted to do this sort of thing she wanted to do it right...obviously.

Blaine wasn't sure how to take that, really. "Well," he said after a moment.

Get yourself together, Blaine, he had to tell himself. Romance was something so entirely perfect to focus on to avoid the hurt that was in his heart, and dating was dating, wasn't it? He could at least give advice to his friend. He had messed up his own relationship enough to know what not to do at least. "Have you ever dated a boy before or would this be your first experience?"

She was suddenly swept back to a rainy alley in New York. A boy her age urging her to follow. She had never even like boys.

The memory ended with that boy, a knife coming through his shirt. His hat falling to the ground.

Shaking her head to clear the memories she finally answered "No. But we figured it would help. You know, people might like us better."

Not the most noble of reasons.

"Well..." Blaine started again, considering his words carefully. "Kurt has spent much more time with our lesbian friends than I have." And that was mostly because Kurt just spent more time with all of the girls they knew. It wasn't as if Kurt would know more about about being a lesbian though. That wasn't something a boy could know.

"But... a relationship is always a relationship, even if it's between two boys or two girls, or a boy and a girl, or between people who aren't either. Each relationship is different and unique. There's no one way to 'be gay.' You're just in a relationship and it happens to be a gay relationship." He paused a moment. "I could help you be an active, out and proud member of the community, but it's different here and I don't think that's not really what you're asking about. You don't want to volunteer and go to PFLAG meetings and go to PRIDE parades." Not that Blaine knew a ton about that stuff. "You just want to woo a girl you're interested in, right?"

She listened carefully as several of the words he said flew right over her head. She didn't know what a P-flag was (maybe some kind of way to show you were proud? Did you wave a p-flag in the parade?) she zeroed in on the last part.

"Maybe. What does "woo" mean?"

"Oh, you know, doing things to get her to fall in love with her, or to at least like you like that. Dating, basically."

"Oh." This proved another problem but Sandy wasn't sure how to word it.

"Well it's like...we like each other. I think she's like...my best friend. But she thinks emotions are dumb and doesn't like them. Her assassin training kinda says to get rid of feelings."

"Oh... Are you ready to deal with that? You could help her learn another way?"

Another puzzled look, "Like how?" She wasn't sure they were on the same wavelength but any information was better then none.

"By being a friend? I mean... If you want to be with her I'm all for that, but trying to be in a relationship with someone who is disconnected from their emotions could really hurt you, couldn't it?"

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