thecapitol | indisposed in disguise

Entry tags:

indisposed in disguise

Who| Blaine and OPEN
What| Blaine lost three good friends (Diana, Atticus and Lottie), watched his own body rot away, and was killed a little more violently this time around. He's not okay in the head but he'll be damned if he lets you know that. Too bad his mask might be cracking.
Where| Tribute Tower. Three settings; District 2 Suites, Boxing Area in Training Center and Common Mess Hall
When| Final week of the Arena
Warnings/Notes| Blaine's a little broken. I'll add warnings as needed.

[District 2 Suites]

When Blaine woke up he took a shower and paid extra attention to his hair. The movements of the comb as he flattened out his curls was almost therapeutic. Each time he slid it's teeth through the black strands he felt himself getting a little more control. There were dark circles under his eyes, but he knew how to use the products of the Capitol by now and it was surprisingly easy to cover them up.

He had been back in the Capitol long enough now to know that he couldn't find Lottie, Atticus or Diana. He knew sometimes people didn't come back because he had seen posts on the network about it before. He had convinced himself that it wouldn't happen to the people that he knew though. They couldn't be among the unlucky. Diana had been a sure win for Victory. Lottie was popular because she was so flirty and fun. He and Atticus could play up their matching faces for the camera, and hadn't the werewolf and Kurt provided enough heartbreaking entertainment for the way that they stuck together? What did these Capitol people even want if it wasn't a good show?

It hurt to think about that, so instead he focused on his hair. He flattened it until it was stuck to his hair, all hint of curls hidden away. He couldn't look like Atticus right now because that hurt too.

He gathered up work out clothes and folded them carefully into a duffel bag before leaving his room. A cheerful enough expression was plastered onto his face as he walked through the Suite. He planned to get to the Training Center as quickly as possible, but he also did his best to not seem opposed to the idea of stopping and taking to his Suite mates.

[Boxing in Training Center]

He didn't eat breakfast. Instead he went right down to the Training Center. The gel here was even better than the stuff back home as he could work out and sweat without a single curl breaking free. He supposed he ought to be grateful for that, just as much as he should be for finally becoming a star.

He picked out a bag and wrapped his hands in tape before he started to hit it. Each time he let a fist land against the bag he considered all of the things the Capitol would expect him to be grateful about.

Hair gel. Good food. Clothing. His face on TV.

The honor of being killed for their entertainment.

His face was focused entirely on the bag as he pounded away at it, imagining himself with the ability to push each of those things away.

[Common Mess Hall]

After working out, Blaine really needed to eat something. He had been careful to clean himself up and was dressed as impeccably as ever. He sat with his back to the screens, not wanting to watch any more death. It was surprisingly hard, as they seemed to want to display the Games everywhere.

It probably would have been smarter to eat in his room, but he still was holding out the hope that he'd see one of his missing friends.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

She shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't know any lesbians. You're the closest thing I've got."

And if she wanted to do this sort of thing she wanted to do it right...obviously.

Blaine wasn't sure how to take that, really. "Well," he said after a moment.

Get yourself together, Blaine, he had to tell himself. Romance was something so entirely perfect to focus on to avoid the hurt that was in his heart, and dating was dating, wasn't it? He could at least give advice to his friend. He had messed up his own relationship enough to know what not to do at least. "Have you ever dated a boy before or would this be your first experience?"

She was suddenly swept back to a rainy alley in New York. A boy her age urging her to follow. She had never even like boys.

The memory ended with that boy, a knife coming through his shirt. His hat falling to the ground.

Shaking her head to clear the memories she finally answered "No. But we figured it would help. You know, people might like us better."

Not the most noble of reasons.

"Well..." Blaine started again, considering his words carefully. "Kurt has spent much more time with our lesbian friends than I have." And that was mostly because Kurt just spent more time with all of the girls they knew. It wasn't as if Kurt would know more about about being a lesbian though. That wasn't something a boy could know.

"But... a relationship is always a relationship, even if it's between two boys or two girls, or a boy and a girl, or between people who aren't either. Each relationship is different and unique. There's no one way to 'be gay.' You're just in a relationship and it happens to be a gay relationship." He paused a moment. "I could help you be an active, out and proud member of the community, but it's different here and I don't think that's not really what you're asking about. You don't want to volunteer and go to PFLAG meetings and go to PRIDE parades." Not that Blaine knew a ton about that stuff. "You just want to woo a girl you're interested in, right?"

She listened carefully as several of the words he said flew right over her head. She didn't know what a P-flag was (maybe some kind of way to show you were proud? Did you wave a p-flag in the parade?) she zeroed in on the last part.

"Maybe. What does "woo" mean?"

"Oh, you know, doing things to get her to fall in love with her, or to at least like you like that. Dating, basically."

"Oh." This proved another problem but Sandy wasn't sure how to word it.

"Well it's like...we like each other. I think she's like...my best friend. But she thinks emotions are dumb and doesn't like them. Her assassin training kinda says to get rid of feelings."

"Oh... Are you ready to deal with that? You could help her learn another way?"

Another puzzled look, "Like how?" She wasn't sure they were on the same wavelength but any information was better then none.

"By being a friend? I mean... If you want to be with her I'm all for that, but trying to be in a relationship with someone who is disconnected from their emotions could really hurt you, couldn't it?"

"How should I know?" Sandy threw her hands up in defeat and slumped in her seat "You're the one who's supposed to be teaching me. I've never done this before."

Blaine couldn't help but feel a little guilty about that. After a moment, he moved over to touch Sandy's arm. "I may not be a lesbian," he started, "But I know that every relationship needs communication in order to survive. Trust me, ignoring that fact is the reason that my relationship is the mess that it is. If you feel a certain way about someone, you should tell them. Once you see how she responds, you'll have a better idea of how you two can relate to one another."

If Pruna really was disconnected from her feelings, being confronted with Sandy's might help bring out her own affections. At least he hoped so. He didn't want Sandy to be rejected.

Sandy nodded considering his words. Pruna was incredibly honest and blunt despite her profession as an assassin. She couldn't imagine the girl wasn't already being completely upfront with whatever feelings she did have.

But it was a start at least. More then she'd started with.

"How'd you screw up your relationship?" Ever the delicate one she asked bluntly.

Blaine frowned a bit. "I... I didn't let my boyfriend know how I was feeling and let my emotions get the better of me. I ended up cheating on him because I was feeling lonely."

Blaine looked away then, ashamed. "It was the worst mistake I've ever made."

Sandy frowned in disappointment "Well that was stupid." She pointed out. "Isn't it like...the most obvious thing not to do? I mean even I know that just from TV. You never cheat."

"Yeah..." Blaine said, frowning and looking even more embarrassed. "I know. It was the worst mistake I've ever made."

Sandy actually felt guilty about the look on his face an her cheeks burned.

"Sorry, you had to do something to apologize though right? You didn't just give up?"

Blaine nodded then. "I kept trying but he kept ignoring me," Blaine admitted. "Then he basically told me to stop because he couldn't trust me any more. He had just started to forgive me when I was pulled here."

After a moment, "We don't want the Capitol to know any of this, Sandy." He reached out to put a hand on her arm, to show how serious he was about it. "He doesn't need my betrayal shoved in his face by interviewers and commercials. It's hard enough that we have to play up our feelings for each other to please the audience."

Sandy looked confused, then her face fell and her eyes sharpened, tensing up and casting a quick panicked look at the cuff on her arm.

"Well it's um...well it's probably too late for that." She nodded at her cuff wondering if he even knew what it was.

Blaine frowned a bit and pulled back. "It records?" he asked.

"Probably?" She buried her face in her hands feeling a creeping burning blush of embarrassment "They put these things on all of us who cause trouble to "Keep an eye on us" and "Make sure we don't hurt ourselves". So we figure they probably have all sorts of recording stuff in them." When she pulled her hands down she looked apologetic and nervous.

"I'm really sorry...I didn't mean to..." To what? Make him talk about something he didn't want the Capitol to know? Make him trust her enough to keep a secret when she had no choice in the matter? She didn't know just what but she was sorry about it.

Blaine shrugged. "It's one thing for the higher ups to know," he admitted. "Another for the audience. They might be able to use it against me, but I can still put on a good show."

He touches her arm lightly. "They probably already know about it. They do find ways to exploit all of our mistakes."

"I hate them." Sandy grumbled putting her head in her hands and curling her fingers in her hair, frustrated to the point of almost pulling it.

"I hate them I hate them I hate them. They have all this amazing stuff this technology and food and clothes and this is what they do with it?"

Blaine reached out and rubbed her back a bit. "It's okay," he said, though he knew that it wasn't and wouldn't be until the Games stopped.

She let him keep rubbing her back. It felt a little comforting, but could only do so much.

"I mean my world was crap man! Really dark and depressing. It rained every day, no one could leave. The cops could do whatever they wanted...but here?" She was always going back and forth on which world was worse.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject