thecapitol | Only happy when I'm with you [closed]

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Only happy when I'm with you [closed]

Who: Finnick Odair and Annie Cresta
What: Hopefully a peaceful meal together
Where: Random Capitol restaurant
When: First night of the Games

Finnick came up from the green room feeling far more drained than he had expected to. Emotionally he had been a wreck worrying about her and how she was doing. Also what others had seen. He was fairly confident with how they had handled their interaction, but he worried if he got too confident he would get sloppy. He couldn't have just left her there with the cheese alone as others stared and made the 'Oh, it's just Annie Cresta again' comments under their breath. Considering they'd all been through the same ordeals, it was never surprising how cold and apathetic some victors could be towards others.

He opened the door to their suite, that was a lot more empty now that the tributes were gone. He walked in and immediately noticed that the TV was on. The Games had quieted down and it was a lot of recaps and evaluating every tribute again. He knew turning it off wasn't an option so he made no effort to. It would just turn back on automatically.

"Annie?" He called out turning his attention from it to something he had been looking forward to for the past two hours. "You ready, sweetheart?"

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She likes the idea of privacy. If not only for her sake, but Finnick's as well. He's flawless in the eye of the public. Annie knows the role that he has to play. She has her own role as well; though she hasn't had trouble playing it on her own end. It's easy to be the poor mad girl of District 4 when she's here, thrown into the thick of things. Her fear of this place is as real as her own skin. Finnick? He has to put on a show; amplify pieces of himself she knows he would not broadcast to the whole world if he honestly had a choice in the matter. The Finnick that Panem knows is not the Finnick that Annie knows. Not truly. She knows this place is not any easier for him than it is for her; just harder in different ways.

"Yes," she answers him. "I'm looking forward to it." And it isn't a line she says because she thinks he wants to hear it. It will be nice to escape from things for a moment. Slip away from the greenrooms and the training center and the fourth level suite, to find a quite corner where the Games aren't saturating every sensation and carve out their own little refuge from the chaos. It will only get worse before it gets better, she knows, and it will be nice to have something good here in this place to hold on to.

She lets him lead her away. Her first few steps are less graceful than she'd hoped for. The shoes she's wearing make her taller than she's used to being, and her balance is pushed up to her toes. Heels aren't something she gets a lot of practice wearing, and she'd have gone without them entirely if her dress hadn't been so long; liquid blue-black silk still trailing behind her on the floor. She'd paced around the room a few times before he'd arrived to try them out, but her legs seemed to have forgotten her practice for a moment. She squeezes his hand and actually giggles at her blunder before righting herself.

He laughs with her as he sees her stumble in those ridiculous shoes. He keeps hold of her hand and allows his arm and shoulder to be support for her balance. The things the Capitol makes them wear is just from another planet to those in the districts, or rather the lower districts. 1 and 2 are accustomed to being the child of the Capitol and adopting their customs the best that they can.

"I'll catch you if you fall." He says as he guides her to the door. He had been able to arrange a car to take them to dinner so stepping off the elevator it was a smooth transition to a private ride. It wasn't peaceful outside with the Games on every screen within view, the crowds still partying and celebrating. Still it was a quick trip to a tall building that housed a very high end restaurant for the Capitol's rich and famous, on the top floor.

Not once did he ever let go of her hand. Not for fear of losing her, but more of the yearning to not spend a minute not touching her. The hostess's eyes lit up when they arrived, more from seeing Finnick in person, than Annie who still trailing behind in the strange shoes. He waited for the dirty look that would accompany when this woman noticed he was there with a date, Capitol citizens were so easy to predict. Still despite it appearing, he thanked her gratuitously for aiding them to a table that was secluded from others by elegant red and purple drapes.

When finally alone after ordering wine from a waiter who had appeared, he looked back to Annie sitting across from him, "Are you all right?" His eyes were concerned for her exposure more than his. He generally knew what triggered her flashbacks and episodes, but every so often something random would set one off. It was a second sense he had adopted to be tuned in to the possibilities whenever they went somewhere new.

His hand slid across the table to hold hers again, confident at least here they may be able to still be themselves.

The Capitol was massive and full of more people than Annie would ever dare to count. A swarm of colour and energy that she just couldn't understand. It makes her nervous, especially to know that what has them all so excited is the running of the Games. It's flickering on every screen and shining through every window. The entire side of a building they pass by in the car has been painted to look like the snow-capped mountainside of the new Arena, and it hasn't even been a whole day yet.

The hostess with her bright lips and extravagant hair doesn't even notice her at first. It's Finnick she sees, and her eyes sparkle with delight at the sight of him. Annie can't blame her for that. It's the look of entitlement that follows that Annie still hasn't been able to comprehended. Like she should be allowed to just snatch Finnick away and keep him all for herself; some beautiful new thing to collect.

Once they are seated, she closes her eyes. Just for a moment. Just to push everything away. To find herself again. "I'm alright," she tells him when he asks. She's trying to make it be true, and it will be soon enough. So long as he holds her hand, she can get through anything.

"Hey." He whispers loud enough for only her to hear. "It's you and me, okay? We're together in this." He squeezes her hand so she'll look at him. "I'll never let go." Something he told her often, all metaphorically, but it said something. The only thing Finnick ever wanted was to see Annie happy. He would do anything just to see her smile. Not a forced smile, but a genuine smile. After everything she had been through, she deserved happiness. "Just stay with me." There he referred to her episodes of being back in the arena and staring off as if captured by another world.

To ease the process, he ordered for both of them. He was also more accustomed to Capitol food, as well as what they served in most high end restaurants that Annie would be foreign to. A rice dish is what she had initially wanted, so that was what he found her. Of course it would come out to three or four rice dishes in the meal because that was just how the Capitol served their excessive food.

While waiting for their food he would look up and smile at her, "Every time I'm out at a fancy place like this, I'm always wishing it were with you." Being that the Games had all changed, they had never had the time to go out like this before, so this was a first. "Finally you're here with me and I can actually enjoy being somewhere like this. Normally I would just hate it because the service takes forever." Now he wished they'd take longer.

She breathes in, once, twice, three times, before opening her eyes. Its nerves mostly. But she gets this way, even when she tries her best not to. Tells herself that she has nothing to fear. That she isn't about to be paraded on a stage to talk to a celebrity host, or shoved before a camera crew to talk about herself, or her tributes or her past visits to the Capitol. She's just here, in a quiet room with Finnick wearing the dress she'd picked out just for him. He's got a hold of her hand, and all he wants is to make her happy. All she really wants, is to do the same.

She lets herself take in her surroundings more fully. The lavish luxury of it all is almost oppressive. Even the air smells expensive; exotic spices and floral scents mingling in the dim light of the window-filtered moon. Her blue-green eyes widen in the view of it all, a mix of wonderment and cautious curiosity plain on her face, now that she's finally let herself truly see it. "This place is very nice," she says. She knows it's an understatement, but she isn't quite sure how else to put it.

She leans in closer to the table, closer to him, and gives his hand a small squeeze. She's back now. Fully here in this room. Here, with Finnick who is sitting before her, more handsome today than he was yesterday, (though she tends to think this every day) and he is smiling only for her.

"Thank you."

The two words aren't ever enough. Thank you for always being there, for always knowing. Thank you for wanting to share this with me. Thank you for being so patient. She wants to say all those things, but she doesn't believe the words will ever come out right.

With her free hand, she lifts up her glass that's been filled with a deep red-purple wine that smells like blackberries and spice, and says, "To a night for only the two of us."

"To a night for only the two of us." He raised his glass and clinks it with hers before taking a drink. He silently hoped that it would last as long as possible. The way the Capitol worked was that with all the cameras everywhere, even when in private like they were, at any moment someone could come to summon him. Give him a time and place to be, or just escort him to where he was required to be. Little guidance outside of that, but years of experience told him what to do.

Generally the young girls wanted date or boyfriend-like experience with him. Younger women, around his age, wanted to be seen with him above all other things. Older women often wanted to cut to the chase and have a "romantic" evening at their place. Men on the other hand, well rarely if ever was he seen with a man - for his sake and the client's - and those were often higher paying customers.

Finnick never complained because the reason he was doing it was sitting across from him at the table. Even though it left him feeling like used and damaged goods. For years, back in District 4 he was completely unavailable to any girl in fear of them learning about what he had to do. Sometimes he felt as if Annie were the only girl who would ever truly understand and accept what he had to do. To lose her, he would never find another like her who would love him despite it all.

At the same time, it had always been a double edged sword. Other than the first year following her victory, Annie hadn't had to go to the Capitol, which made the whole ordeal easier to conduct. Knowing she wouldn't have to see him afterward and that he could leave it all in the Capitol and go home to her was a comfort. Now, while coming back to the suite and being with her helped him just as much, it hurt at the same time that she had to see him like this. His own nerves would worsen at the thought of her being disgusted with him.

He continues to hold her hand wanting to keep her with him mentally as long as he could. Keeping his eyes locked on hers. "When we get back we're going to stay in that bedroom until the morning." He says hopefully. He doesn't want to face the fact that he may have to leave her, so he makes plans even if they won't hold up.

"Just us. Mags offered to stick out the next two rounds so we could be together tonight." Granted, truth was Mags offered to take shifts watching over Annie because while she knew that only Finnick could truly calm her down, he also still had his duties as a mentor and a victor to tend to. None of them were in denial that if they needed sponsors, only Finnick could get them.

The restaurant is beautiful, and the wine is delicious, she wouldn't dare deny that. After her victory five years ago, Annie had grown slightly more accustomed to finer things. Or, at least nicer things. Clean, fresh things. District 4 was not as poor as many of the other districts, but it was a far cry from being as well off as the Capitol, or even 1 and 2. Annie's parents had been fisherman. She'd slept beneath the deck of her father's fishing boat more often than not, and sometimes, Annie can still remember the little girl inside her that wondered what it would be like to sleep like a princess, on a bed of down and draped in silk. Now that she knows, she can at least admit that it is incredibly comfortable, even if the price of knowing cost her the ability to sleep through a night without nightmares.

Still though, she's pushed past her nerves enough that she can actually let herself enjoy the moment, and with Finnick here, she can't think of anywhere else that she would rather be. There is soft music on their air and the chairs are comfortable, and for the first time, she and Finnick can share a sliver of happiness, together in a place she normally associates with fear and pain and a thousand other terrible things she can't place all the right words to. But when he says things like that, she finds its a little easier to let herself indulge. To want more.

"Something else to look forward to, then," she says, and her face feels a little warmer than usual, and she's quite sure it isn't the wine. She takes another sip though, because it's sweet and makes her tongue tingle, and the glass helps hide her smile - the one she's still a little nervous and embarrassed to let him see.

He grinned seeing she was for it. Any sign from her that he was doing all right really shined for him. He would be taking everything with her one step at a time, not rushing her into anything that would be too drastically foreign. Even going out for dinner had been a bold move, but he felt it was needed after the greenroom. The need to get away even if they couldn't leave the Capitol.

The food would arrive in the large portions he had expected it to. His original intent was to go light on the food, not knowing where he would be later and since her nerves may not let her eat much. He continued to do the speaking to the waiter when thanking him for the food and waving the man off. "So much for something light." He chuckled as he looked over all the food. "Well, eat what you can." Even though that went without saying since the culture here was pick at everything, finish nothing.

He took another drink of the wine watching her over the brim of the glass allowing her to help herself first. Not pressuring her to eat, but making sure she had something. "Great wine." He commented as he finished off the glass. Finnick definitely had no problem downing a glass and starting another, not in the Capitol. "Still, the stuff from Four is what I want for our wedding." That was a loose joke he would sneak in every so often. They both wanted to be together forever, and had every intention of doing so and the idea of a wedding was a dream, but also a joke for them.

With his public image there wasn't any way they could ever be wed in the open. Finnick would say he wasn't going to settle for anything but the best for Annie so they would wait for her to have the wedding she wanted and deserved, but behind the words they both knew the truth. It would only cause waves, even if done in secret, and Snow wouldn't tolerate it for a minute. It would leave one of them a widowed within a year.

Instead they settled for being secretly engaged, without rings, and only they knew. So a joke here and there about their "wedding plans" was a sly way of him reminding her that one day she would be his wife.

Annie nibbles on a few small bites of food. She'd not had much of an appetite all day, but none of what lays before her is so heavy that it upsets her stomach. And the food is delicious; unquestionably so.

She takes a few bites, and then another sip of wine, laughing at Finnick as she does. "Delicious, yes. But I agree. And I would like the Donovan's to cook the lobsters we serve." They were somehow related to Mags. Cousins, or perhaps nieces and nephews. Great nieces and nephews, to be sure. They ran a small eatery in District 4, and would sometimes bring extras over for Mags who was still perfectly capably of feeding herself of course, but always welcomed the company. Annie spent a good deal of time with Mags, when she wasn't with Finnick so she'd had her share of their delicious lobster; always cooked perfectly. She was sure there was some secret spice they used, but they would never say. Its something she thinks of fondly. Like their jokes about wedding plans.

Its halfway a heartbreak on one hand, knowing that the reality of a wedding is a beautiful dream at best. But she knows he would marry her in an instant if he could. She remembers the night that he asked, she had almost not believed him. Even still, Annie finds that fact that Finnick never tires of her nothing short of a miracle. But his proposal is one of her most precious memories. And despite the heartbreak of it all, she likes to talk about it. It's their little secret that they share: that someday, they will build the rest of their lives together.

Finnick nodded in agreement, "I don't think anyone's lobsters compares." He was plenty familiar with the Donovans and their relations with Mags. He would often go fishing with his father so most days Annie stayed around Mags or her family. Hearing her speak of the "wedding plans" brightened up the conversation and gave him a signal that she was starting to feel better.

His love for Annie had snuck up on him after she joined him as a victor. His family had known her's prior to the reaping so he knew of her in District 4. Annie had always been a noticeably attractive girl, but far too shy even then to make eye contact with him when he became a victor.

She had been so small and frightened when she was reaped. He had promised his mother and hers that he would do everything he could to keep this defenseless girl alive. It hadn't been easy- she hadn't given him much to work with. Still it was that year that he had worked harder than he ever has as a victor to get more sponsors than any other mentor just so that she could eat.

When she had won by being the best swimmer he had felt such relief and at the same time, a great deal of pride. However, when she came out the arena he knew from the first few hours after she had been conscious that she would never be the same. Having promised to keep her alive in the arena, he vowed after that to continue to keep her safe.

Now he found himself smiling to her at the thought of their theoretical wedding. His proposal hadn't been traditional. They had been on the beach behind their houses in the victor village watching the ocean as they did every day. It had been the first year that she was able to stay behind during the Games. Being away from her for the first time in the Capitol where he had to continue to be sold, Finnick started to see that he couldn't stand a life without her. His longing and worry for her had been such a heavy weight on him that his decision had been made for him.

Sitting with her, he had taken her hand to get her attention, "I spoke with you father before he disappeared." he told her abruptly. It wasn't something they talked about often, but it was relevant to what he needed to express to her. "I told him I'd always take care of you no matter what happened. And I intend to, but I sort of realized that I need you too." he turned to look at her. "I don't think I could survive out here without you, Annie." His voice was almost sad at this realization being verbalized. "I don't think I want to either."

He looked into her green eyes that were watching him speak, "I told your dad that I wanted to marry you." He confessed. "He told me I could if it was what would make you happy. That's all he ever wanted and it's all I want for you." His stance then lost its confidence and he looked almost pleading. "I want to be your husband and make you smile every day, please let me prove that I can."

And that was all he had. It hadn't been entirely planned out. He hadn't had a ring, but it didn't matter. All he needed was her answer. Even if they both knew that they couldn't have the actual wedding any time in the known future, she just had to know that he couldn't see himself with anyone but her.

Edited (Fixing a small typo ) 2012-04-06 05:09 (UTC)

Finnick could ask her to do just about anything, and she would at least give it her best try. For him. But she hadn't even had to think about her answer when he had asked. She had stared at him in disbelief for a moment, yes, but the words had been easy. "Of course."

It had been easier that year to stay behind, as far as her own mental health was concerned. In District 4, Annie had a much easier time of things. It was comfortable and familiar there, even in the walls of her new home in the visitors village. She would still have her moments, of course. Crippling anxiety over the smallest things could creep up on her without warning. But there were just fewer triggers, when she was walking barefoot along the beach collecting shells, which is how she spent her time when the rest of the world was watching the Games. Over the years, she had gathered an impressive collection of them. Even turned some into jewelery. It was a way to pass the time, and it gave her something else to focus her attention on. A reporter even came to interview her about it, a few years back.

But it had been hard, that first year Finnick had gone to the Capitol without her. He would be old and grey before Snow ever let him step down as a mentor. District 4 was known as a Career District. They may not have quite the reputation that 1 and 2 did, but 4 had a list of victors more substantial than most. Even so. Finnick always went. The Capitol loved Finnick. And Snow loved to show him off. 'The star of Panem,' Finnick was the best of the best. And it hadn't taken Annie long at all to learn of the dark underbelly of Panem. Victors were bathed in riches and glory for the rest of their lives, but that came at a cost. And not just the cost of having to kill the children of other districts.

Finnick didn't like to talk about his time in the Capitol. She never pressed him to, because if anything, she understood what it was like to have things in your life you'd just rather not bring out into the light. But she could see how it wore on him. The burdens that he carried and the worries that came with it. For reasons that she still can't understand, Finnick began to trust her with the darkest parts of herself.

She had known Finnick before her Games, the handsome older boy who was the son of a family her own parents were friendly with, famous for his good looks and, of course, his victory in the Hunger Games. And then he'd been her mentor, and kept her alive. She still doesn't know how he managed to do it. Annie knows, perhaps better than anyone, just how uninteresting she must have been to watch, hiding in the trees after she'd snapped and ran off. But food had come for her almost every night until the floods came; silver parachutes with notes that read, "Stay safe. -Fin."

It had been easy to go from grateful, to fond, to falling in love with him, though Annie couldn't pinpoint exactly when those changes happened. He had kept her alive, and then he became a reason to live. So when he tells her that he can't imagine life without her, she understands exactly what he means.

Annie sips more of her wine, and nibbles at more of her food. Even reaches across the table to steal a taste off Finnick's plate and pulling away with a grin.

"I love you," she says for no real reason. But right now, it's the only thought in her head.

When he heard her say those three words his face lit up. "I love you too." He watched her smiling. "More than anything." In a quick motion he snagged some brown rice from her plate.

The pesky hostess came back around. "How is everything, Mr. Odair?" the waiter had checked in on them minutes earlier so there hadn't been a legitimate need for her to come by. Still he wasn't phased by her unnecessary appearance. At least here he didn't need to explain why this was occurring to Annie.

"Fantastic- thanks for asking."

"Is there anything I can get you?" Not addressing Annie in the slightest.

"Oh, we're fine thank you, Miss-." he flashed her a smile that told her he was solely focusing on her in that moment. The smile that worked on all the Capitol girls when you wanted something out of them.

"Angular." she jumped in

"Miss Angular." he grinned to her, giving her his undivided attention in a distinct maneuver she was falling for. "Probably just the bill- unless my money isn't good here."

"Oh! Yes! I'm sure something can be arranged. I mean I will arrange something." She responded appropriately to the look he kept on his face. Attempting to keep her posture and straight face even though it was obvious she wanted to giggle and grin. The response all Capitol girls gave when he spoke their names. "I-It'll be taken care of, Mr. Odair."

"Thank you, sweetie." A name he distinctly never called Annie. Something about it was condescending and was specifically for exactly what he was doing. With a wink, he dismissed the fluttery girl and looked back to Annie, in all seriousness he addressed her, "Never become like that." he took a long drink of wine. "I'll pull my hair out if you do."

"Oh, anything for you, Mister Odair," she says teasingly, in her best attempt at a Capitol accent. Her's isn't quite as good as Finnick's, but it still comes across well enough.

She doesn't blame them. Not really. Finnick is handsome and charming and impossibly kind; perfect even when he's at his worst. Though, Annie admits that her opinion may be slightly biased. She's fairly certain that most women's reaction to him are just instinct. He's the kind of person that just about anyone wants to have the attention of. So, yes, Annie understands why they do it. But they go about it all wrong....

It's easy not to dwell on it; the rudeness of the hostess. It's easier when they just ignore her entirely. Annie can handle being invisible. Prefers it that way, really. Especially here in the Capitol. There's just something in the way people act here; a superficial quality to everything, that makes almost anything someone says seem fleeting and ingenuine. They might 'mean' it at the time. But this is a place of instant gratification, of luxury, and of abundance. Everyone here wants something shiny and new, because no one here has ever been told they can't have it.

She finishes off her glass of wine and pours herself another. She's glad the hostess is gone, and hopes she won't return. If it were possible, she would have these curtains drawn around them permanently and they could hide away in here, the two of them, for the remainder of these horrible Games, smiling and drinking delicious wine. But she knows that can't happen. Soon enough, they will come and collect their dishes and they will ride back down the glass elevator and get back into a car that will take them to the Training Center, and this day will be over and... a new one will begin.

"Do you ever wonder," she begins; there is a thought in her head and she wants to know if Finnick ever has it too, "what our lives would be like if we had been born here, in the Capitol, instead? Do you think that we... would still be us? Sometimes, I think, that it would be easier. We wouldn't have... have... have had to..." she can't say it, but she's sure Finnick will catch her meaning. Capitol children are exempt from The Games. "It would be better. But then... I don't know. Nothing feels real here. How can you really love anything, if you don't know what's real?"

"Anything?" Now he turned his sly seductive look on her as he played along, but also threw in his own twist to it. "Mmm don't tease me, Miss Cresta. I may very well take you up on that offer when we're alone." His smile and bounce of his eyebrows told her he wasn't entirely joking.

His tone change as he watched her pour another glass of wine for herself, "And watch that wine, my dear. You're only going to make my job easier later." Finnick was probably the only one who saw Annie as the woman she was and not as a crippled child-like girl. He knew the sexual mature side of her and he liked that only he would ever see it. It made it special to him.

The same pertained her - she saw a side of him no one else ever did. She saw the real Finnick and was probably the only one who ever did. He was a fantastic actor and everyone who paid for his time fell for the act of being genuinely "surprised" as he pretended to discover an allure to the person. Everyone wanted to feel special. However Annie was special and he couldn't get enough of her. He would spend every day and moment with her if he could.

"Our lives would be so different. Products of this environment, no, we wouldn't have been raised the same at all." He shook his head after pondering her question for a moment. He knew what she was referring to about not having to be subjected to the Games and didn't need to verbally acknowledge it. They were on the same page. "Their perception of "real" is different than ours and they don't know anything other than it so to say if we would know what was real, well we would just never question it." These thoughts did make him take another long sip of wine. "These people are taught that the districts are wrong so they don't even bother to compare their lives to ours. So what they feel, yeah, it's "real" love. At least by their definition." From his experiences with the Capitol citizens, he knew this all to be true.

The hostess does return, and slips Finnick an slip of paper, which he does initially presume to be the bill. Her smile however tells him differently. She has that look of excitement like a child who wants to impress their parent that they had accomplished some great task that they had set out to prove that they could do. Without looking at it, he grins again to her, "Thank you sweetie, I owe you one." Of course he says this with absolutely no intent to ever see this girl again.

When the hostess has attempted to say something attractive she takes her leave. Finnick takes a look at the paper, it's the bill, that lists that he owes nothing, and has a handwritten phone number on it. He folds the paper up and puts it in his pocket. To leave it would be a poor move, but clearly he has no reason to ever glance at it again.

He looks back to Annie, now being the smiling one who looks accomplished, "Did you want any desert, sweetheart? I'm pretty sure I can spring for it."

She only sips her fresh glass of wine, and blushes again behind it.

"Anything." She reiterates, and lets him make of that what he will. Annie may have been joking at first, but she certainly doesn't mind the direction Finnick decided to take it. He'll always be more confidant and flirtatious than she will ever be, after all Annie has always been shy. But her shyness has not been synonymous with chastity for some time now, and though she might blush and have a hard to verbalizing her own desires, that hardly means that she does not have them.

She finds herself chewing at her bottom lip as he speaks. The answer to her question is almost exactly what she had expected him to say. Almost exactly how she would have answered herself, and she is glad for that. A piece of her wants to know what option he would pick, if he were given the choice. If he could go back and choose to live an oblivious life, raised in the comfort and luxury of the Capitol; never having to know the experience of the Hunger Games and the life brought upon them by victory... They could have been unbroken, beautiful people in this place. But they would never have been... she can't quite even fully form her thought. It's easy to imagine an easier life. But harder to imagine giving up the life that made them; her, Annie, and him, Finnick. District 4 was who there were; family and friends and the smell of the salt on the air, the sound of crashing waves and the squish of wet sand underfoot. She hates knowing that The Hunger Games are who they are as well. Victors. Survivors. Few people as young as they, will ever truly know how dark the world is because of it; how easily it can all be snatched away... inside the Arena or out. Similarly, very few will ever appreciate how beautiful the world can be, when you know how rare and precious things truly are.

She doesn't ask. Doesn't think she really wants to know. More because she hasn't even decided on what her own answer would be, aside from 'wherever she would find Finnick,' because she can't imagine a life, even a quiet and superficial one, without him. And then the hostess returns and Annie hears almost nothing of what she says. For a moment, she imagines herself in that girl's place; Annie Cresta, a girl from the Capitol with bright colours lips and hollow words who works as a hostess at a fancy restaurant. It's not an image that fits well.... and just as quickly as she imagines this other version of herself, Finnick's voice calls her back. Snaps her out of it.

Dessert? Does she want dessert?

She isn't hungry, and she isn't sure she wants dessert either, but she is sure that she isn't ready to leave quite yet. Perhaps it's selfish, but she wants to make this night last as long as she can. Nights like these will not come along often. "Something light and sweet, maybe?" she doesn't know what her options are, but perhaps another bite or two could be enjoyable. Finnick will pick something perfect.

Annie didn't need to verbalize her desires to him. Finnick had been able to read her for some time now and she generally wanted the same thing he did when they had time alone together. He still loved seeing her blush when he flirted with her, often times he found it cute, but in scenarios like this he found it more alluring. He was the more confident and forward of the two, so it was never surprising that he would be the one to initiate things when they were anywhere but in their homes in victor's village. He also knew how little time they had together like this in the Capitol and would be better at gauging when it was safe.

"Then I might just do anything I want to you later." He purred at her. Not the same purr he used on Capitol girls, but instead the one that was genuinely interested in touching her later on that evening. His eyes stayed locked on hers giving her that seductive look still. Of course with Annie, any small sign that she wasn't in the mood or that something else was bothering her would immediately turn the moves off. He would turn into the caring loving boyfriend he was within seconds.

He is surprised that she does want something after all they had managed to eat, but still he nods and smiles. "All right, I'll order you their pudding. Very light. You'll like it." He waits for the waiter to return and placed the order. His attention returned to Annie as they waited. "You've been doing very well, you know. Being here and all." It was his way of letting her know he was proud of her and how she was handling having to be back in the Capitol for the endless games that were taking place. "I might almost think you're enjoying yourself being here with me."

Her blush only goes deeper and she wishes she could blame it on the wine. But it isn't the wine's fault. It's Finnick's. Though she can't say that she truly minds. He's always had that effect over her. Even when she had been younger; a skinny little thing with wild dark hair and big green eyes, Annie had hardly so much as been able to look at him. Of course, she had been little more than a child then. A shy girl with something like a crush. She's gotten over the 'not being able to look at him' part though.

"With you," she nods, because that is the part that is most important. She wouldn't be here without Finnick. On so many levels, she wouldn't. "It's... easier with you."

He's right about the pudding, of course. It's sweet and light and delicious. She only takes two bites of it though. Too much food and wine has filled her up. But it's a nice feeling; being indulgent. She thinks about taking one last bite, but... can't make herself. The stress of the day might seem far away for the moment, but her body remembers it. All night, she's been eating because things tasted so wonderful she wanted to try them. She hasn't been hungry since the day before she left home. So, with her spoon already full of the bite she can't make herself eat, she offers it to Finnick to finish off instead, holding it out for him to take.

He smiles seeing that he has been helping. Sometimes with how everything effects Annie he just can't be certain that he is providing any aid in the slightest. He reaches across the table to take her hand again, "I'll always be with you then."

Finnick leans across the table and eats the pudding from the outstretched spoon. Pulling back with a grin he doesn't mind that she has barely eaten it. It isn't like the money much matters to him, or that it will even cost them anything. Its always amazed him that when they went back to District 4 their eating habits completely shifted. In the Capitol he had conditioned himself to follow the saying, "When in Rome..."

"Are we ready to head back to the suite?" He looks to her having appeared to be finished with the food. He is actually more surprised that he hadn't been summoned away from her by now. They had started the evening fairly early for the Capitol, but it was probably on part of it still being day one of the Games. Finnick knew the car would be waiting for them downstairs for the moment they left the building in order to avoid spending any more time out on the street of the Capitol than need be. "And lock ourselves away for the rest of the evening."

She takes a deep breath and nods. Not nervous to leave with him; not nervous to return to their suite, either (in fact, she's looking forward to it), but she is a little nervous of having to pass through the real world again. The restaurant full of eyes and the city full of colour. "Yes," she nods. "I think I'm ready," because it won't be that bad...

She stands, adjusting the long drain of her dress so that she can move without tripping herself and reaches for Finnick's hand.

[OOC: Whoa. A tag that isn't a novel. Don't get used to it. lol ;D]

Finnick takes her hand in his and guides her through the restaurant to the lift then to the car where they were ushered in just as quickly as they would be ushered back upon their arrival back at the training center. There are crowds everywhere still and they couldn’t dodge all the cameras as hard as they had tried, but at least back inside the center they could return the suite in peace. This wasn’t saying they had the privacy they wanted, but at least it was quiet again.

Entering the suite, it was quiet and appeared as if Mags and the stylists hadn’t returned from the greenroom or parties that were never ending below them. He was sure that Annie would be thankful to take off those shoes that couldn’t possibly be comfortable to wear. To aid her, he swooped her up in his arms so she wouldn’t need to walk any further and brought her to the bedroom he had found her in earlier that evening. The water was still up on the window screen lighting up the dark room. “Welcome home.” He says sarcastically. This place with all its fake ocean images and sounds was the farthest he could fathom from being anything they would ever call home.

He gently sets her down on the bed and immediately tends to her feet that he removes the shoes from to find red and sore feet. It was amazing how little walking it had taken for this to occur. However, all Capitol women had years of damage on their feet showing in open and healed sores, scars and deformed toes. He would never understand how fashion was worth the price of their health and all of this pain.

He began to rub her bare feet with great care, brushing the long dress train aside. Looking up at her watching him he saw the thin and fragile girl he had met years before there behind the makeup and Capitol fashion. He remembers the string of parties following his return from the Capitol that year he had become a victor. Still 14, he would be 15 by the time he returned to District 4 following his long victory tour, and even then there was more celebration for his success in the Games. His family had known Annie’s for years – their mothers childhood friends – so at beach gatherings he would only notice her as another shy pretty girl avoiding all eye contact with him.

With all the beautiful girls from the Capitol and as well as those from every district, but especially his own throwing themselves at his feet he couldn’t say he had originally paid Annie much mind. Being a wallflower behind hundreds of girls making themselves noticed, he was too overwhelmed and still learning to adjust to all of it to notice this quiet girl. It had been Mags who had been his best guidance in how to handle this sudden fame and attention. She always kept him grounded and reminded him who he was and what the Capitol was trying to make him.

Still Finnick vividly recalled the morning of Annie’s reaping. He usually had been asked by Mags to calm the girls who were chosen because he had mastered the charm to sooth them even in the face of their own death. However this time he knew the girl, well more knew who she was. His own mother’s face had shown a horror that he had only seen on the day he was reaped and her eyes pleaded with him to protect Annie. He had to go out to her that day, after Annie’s name had been announced she would freeze, so he went to fetch her before the peacekeepers would grab her. “It’s okay, Annie.” Were probably his first words directly to her as he took her hand, giving it a small tug to lead her to the stage. She had been so young and terrified, more so than most tributes who were made Careers and often more enthusiastic. The entire district knew that day that Annie didn’t stand a chance at winning, however he was determined to bring her home for his mother, for her’s, and for the sake of this frightened pretty girl.

He smiled to her now recalling these memories of a very distant and quiet girl that not even hours of coaching could make the Capitol like her. However he had taken a liking to her even before he truly knew her. She was quiet, but she picked up on all of the little things. No tribute before or after her noticed, or at least never said anything about how their mentor would disappear at night and be exhausted in the morning. He still remembers waking up to her soft knock on his door. The timid little tribute about to go train for the last day, and yet through her constant fear and anxiety she peeked in on him to tell him breakfast was served, but also said, "Staying out every night...it isn't you." Speaking as if she had known him for decades.

They find the suite mostly empty and relatively quiet, save for the droll of the announcer on the screen who sounded like he was talking about the unusual appearance of some of this Games tributes. She isn't trying to listen, but it's hard not to to pick up on words like 'woman with wings' or 'lizard-man' as he speaks. But Finnick doesn't allow her time to so much as dwell on it; he's plucked her off her feet and carrying her into the bedroom, and thoughts of winged-women and lizard-men are far from her thoughts.

The bed is soft. Large. Annie doubts they were designed with sharing in mind, since all the beds in all the suites of the Training Center are likely just as grand. But it's nice all the same. Sharable, indeed.

"Welcome home, Mister Odair," she doesn't miss the sarcasm. This place could never be home, no matter how long they were forced to remain. Even the false image of a rising tide and recoded sounds of the crashing waves are a weak approximation of what home really was. But when she closes her eyes and listens; when Finnick sets her down and pulls off those uncomfortable shoes and touches her... it's the closest thing to home she can get in this place.

She's far from drunk from the wine, but it's made her feel warm and the tips of her fingers and her nose feel tingly. Finnick's hands are warm and strong, like all the rest of him. He must be exhausted. She doesn't know how he does it. How he can take on so much and still manage to take care of her. "You don't... you don't have to do that," she tells him, though to be honest, she isn't putting up much of a fight to stop him.

Finnick holds one of her small feet in his hands still watching her. He shrugs at her telling him he didn't have to keep massaging her. "But I want to touch you." His eyes stay on hers as he rubs them with care. Then he places her foot down and crawls up the bed to meet her face. "Unless I can touch you another way."

His hand cups her face as he deeply kisses her not waiting for an answer, knowing she will make it obvious if she weren't in the mood. They may be in the Capitol, but they were there together. Finnick knew that at any moment he could be summoned away from her and he didn't want to waste a minute not having his hands on her somehow. Her touch was more soothing to him than being in water, it calmed him instantly without fail.

He pauses and looks in her green eyes for approval, his hand resting now on her thigh. "Any other way."

She makes a small sound, something like a giggle mixed with a sigh as he crawls up to meet her. His kisses taste like wine and pudding and home and love, and everything good in the world. But like something a little sad as well. Desperation. Longing. Sometimes, when he kisses her it feels like he doesn't think he'll ever get to do it again, and it makes the world so... small. Like nothing else in the universe could possibly be more important than that kiss. It's impossible not to give into. To not want to give him the entire universe, if that was what he wanted.

Finnick's never been so complicated as that though. His wants were similar to her own. Each other: safe and happy.

It's more instinct than thought that drives her. She leans into his touch and raises her hands to find him there, solid and warm before her; her arms sliding around his neck. He is only real thing in this world of games and charades and she doesn't care how selfish it makes her; she doesn't ever want to let him go.

"Every way," she tells him. It's surprisingly forward for her to come out of her mouth at all, but Finnick has always been good at making things easier.

He grinned at her words. She was never one to speak much in response to his flirting so when she did it meant something to him. It made him feel wanted and desired His body pressed against hers when he felt her arms slide around his neck. His hands slid down her curves, his mouth went to her neck where he gently kissed a trail to her lips.

He truly worshiped her body and everything about her. She was his world. He wouldn't be anything without her love which kept him going. When the rest of the world drained him of everything he was, she brought him back.
The scared little girl he had tried to mentor as a tribute, who had been impossible to have come out of her shell in front of the Capitol to get sponsors, and even worse to comfort after the Games. However he had never given up on her and after the victory tour and returning to victor village, she was able to see that he was there for her even outside of being a mentor. That love for her truly did sneak up on him.

He kissed her deeply when he reached her mouth allowing himself to be pulled into the pillows with her. He pulled her close so that he would be just hovering over her. His hand that had slid down her side returned to her thigh, moving the dress's skirt aside to touch her soft skin.

The world around her has shrunk so small, it's easy to believe that the universe consists only of this one, single room. The Capitol, the crowds, the Games, all the rest of Panem... it was so far away that it might well not even exist. It was just him and her. Here and now. Her hair a lovely mess against the feather-soft pillows and his hands warm on her skin. And for a rare moment, she closes her eyes not to escape, but to savor. But she doesn't keep them closed long. Why would she, with Finnick so near. So close. So immediate, that the only thing she sees is him.

But isn't that how it always is?

She shifts beneath him, if ever so slightly. He's so close, but he could be closer. Her hands slip from his neck and slide down his torso. The jacket of his suit and the shirt he has buttoned up to his collarbone make finding his skin difficult, but she slips her hands beneath the jacket and wraps her small arms around him, pulling them together.

Her hands touching him were soothing while also arousing and she would soon notice this when he became pressed against her. He slips his jacket off, untucks his dress shirt to become more comfortable and also yearning to be touched more by her. The fake waves disappear into the background until they couldn't be heard as he was allowing the word to fade away around him and only see and feel her.

"You're so beautiful." he whispers to her, never losing her gaze. He kisses her softly on the lips. "Have I ever told you that I want to marry you?" His silly question ending in an adoring smile.

Their kisses are sweet and passionate only making him want to be one with her. His hand returns to her thigh and slides further up towards her panties to gently touch her. Finnick never loses that concerned side of him when he watches her face to be sure she is comfortable. It wasn't what he wanted to do with her that had him questioning, it was where. They had only been to the Capitol together twice, once she was a tribute and the second time she was a wreck the entire trip. So back again he was worried of all the things that might upset her because this wasn't entirely a safe place However there were moments when he wondered if he needed this more than she did. To reassure him that she was there with him and not leaving. Ever.

She hums a happy little noise when he speaks, when he calls her beautiful and kisses her again. "Once, I think," she teases. "And, someday, you will get to," she tells him, and it's a promise she fully intends to keep.

The pillows are too soft, and the sheets too smooth, but she doesn't want to think about it. Can't think about it. But it's easy not to. She hates the Capitol and the games, this training center and even this suite, but Finnick has always been there to see her through it; to keep her safe. He's never failed her. Never let her down. And as he touches her, its so easy to believe that he never will. She only wishes it were in her power to do the same. She doesn't know how to protect him. To make him feel safe. All she knows how to do... is love him. Believe in him. It doesn't seem like a fair enough trade, but if there is one single thing at all in this wretched world that she is good at, it's loving Finnick.

With his jacket gone, it's easier now to reach him. To slide her hands beneath the smooth fabric of his dark shirt and touch his smooth warm skin; her fingers tracing feather-light trails across the expanse of his back, up his spine, across his shoulder blades to map every inch of him.

"And then we will have a ceremony on the beach with real waves. Lobster and dancing and wine." As he spoke he gently kissed her along her jaw and down her neck. "Then I'll carry you in your white dress up to our bedroom where I'll make love to my wife." He paused, looking up at her from where he was kissing her collarbone and smiled.

Returning to face her, he kisses her again as he slides her soft panties to the side to slip a finger inside of her. The rest of his palm begins to massage her outside to arouse her. He bites his lower lip humming lightly with excitement from feeling how silky she is inside around his finger.

"I look forward to it," she says through a smile and a murmur, her voice sounding almost sleepy, though she's far from tired. She arches up into him, unafraid to let him know that she wants more. Wants him. She always does. In this way, or however she can have him. Nothing else really matters to her, so long as he's there.

Her fingers trace warm trails across this skin of his back, soft and almost teasing until they slip away entirely. But only for a moment. Though she makes her way to the fabric around his throat instead, and tugs slightly at his collar in search of a button. It comes away easily. And then another. And another, as she searches for more of his skin.

As she opens his shirt he pauses to watch her eyes examine him with it open. He will never grow tired of her awe of his body. Its the look of her desire for him that further turns him on to her. He allows his shirt to fall off and to the floor before pausing to tend to his pants. His erected member can be seen despite the tight black boxer briefs that keeps him contained. Finnick doesn't strip anymore having taken far too long in those seconds not touching her. Like a magnet his skin is attached to her's once again.

Her dress is pushed down after it has slid from her shoulders, his mouth going for her breast to kiss and caress them. Skin like silk, she is flawless in her beauty that makes his tan look dark. He understandably spends more time outside and on the boats than she does at home, but he also has to stay in the image that the Capitol wants him. They want that bronzed god of the sea that holds his trident like statuesque Poseidon. In reality he would rather just be the boy next door who fishes with his father and swims and surfs until the sun goes down every evening. He would rather be simple with Annie at his side.

The feel of his skin sliding against hers is perhaps her favourite sensation in the world. Warm and strong and beautiful above her, she blinks up at him with flushed cheeks. Her chest rising and falling a little faster now than normal; the need for air suddenly greater; her heart beat faster; her skin on fire.

Over time, she has come to learn many great and wonderful things about Finnick. Some of those things can make her blush just to think about. But perhaps one of the easiest things to learn about him was that he seemed to be happiest whenever she was happy.

Annie doesn't like to speak. Not unless she has something to say. But Finnick knows how to read her. A catch of breath, a sigh, a quiet hum translate easily into things like yes and please and more.

She lets her head slip back into the pillows, her fingers coming to curl around the sun kissed strands of his hair, trace the lines of muscles in his arms, touch every piece of him that she can reach. Though sometimes, she loses herself. Forgets what she's doing. Gets too caught up in sensations that all she can do is arch up into him and remember to breathe.

She doesn't need to speak, her touch tells him to keep going. The dress is disposed to the floor with the bra as if they were nothing but rags. His fingers slide her panties down to her ankles to follow. A hand returns to her breast caressing it as he kisses her. Her fingers tracing his abs and down the V-shaped torso that leads into the waistband of the boxer briefs sends a small shiver through him. When Finnick pauses to breathe his eyes connect with hers as if to ask, "You ready?"

Finnick removes his own underwear to toss them to the side. He holds himself in his hand, stroking his length as he returns to her, his lips seeking hers first. His stomach presses against her silky skin connecting their warmth. The sound of her breath near his ear is arousing as he hears her breathe faster in anticipation.

Only then does a seductive sly grin come across his face. His mind rapidly explores the possibilities of what he desires to do in that quick moment. With his extended arm propping him up to hover over her, he rubs the head of his cock against her wet opening. Teasing her to further heighten the anticipation. He lightly moistens his own lips watching her wait for it. It's then that he finds Annie completely irresistible.

He remembers their first time. It had been two years after her Games. There had been times when he was unsure if he dared touch her and contaminate her with what he had been made to do. He just had felt so dirty that being with someone so beautiful and genuinely pure like Annie felt wrong. Like he was the bad guy ruining her. If it hadn't been for her gentle touches and the reassurance she had given him, he would have never have had the courage to do it. Everything had been done so slowly. So carefully. He didn't want to ruin the one good solid thing in his life. He couldn't live with himself if he did.

Now entering her with a gentle, but motivated movement of his hips, he exhaled as if trying to catch his breath. The feeling was overwhelmingly blissful to him. How she wrapped around his member so perfectly as if he were fitted for her. After their first time he had known from just that initial taste of her sex and he was now eternally addicted.

She squirms beneath him in anticipation; breath catching, back arching. Annie chews at her own lower lip as she catches his grin, she knows he's teasing her and she doesn't mind. Enjoys it, even. Because this is Finnick after all, and she would let him do anything that he liked. A mix of trust and need and the desire to make him happy, she can't imagine feeling this way about another person. Trusting and loving them so completely that she can allow herself to truly be unafraid, even for just a little while.

They fit together perfectly and move together as though if separated they would be awkward and clumsy; a dance, a rhythm like the waves of the ocean itself. She exhales at the feel of him, the release of a breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding. Her eyes lock on his and... he is the only thing she sees. The only thing she wants to see. Or hear, or taste or feel.

He knows she is completely submissive to him, and he finds that even more attractive about her. He holds her hands as he props himself up for better leverage. When he plunges deep into her he watches her face enjoy him. His mouth goes to her neck, inhaling her scent as he kisses her.

She was still so tight around his throbbing member and the sounds she made only had him craving more. He groaned not caring how loud he might have sounded. He felt his pleasure slowly building up and he began to penetrate her harder and faster, just wanting to ravage her. He was beginning to break a sweat, but being able to pace himself and last longer. Years of training sadly had him able to do this with ease, however when he was with her it was his emotions that would get the best of him.

She truly was his perfect partner. "I love you." He exhaled staring to her eyes.. "So...much."

She wants to wrap herself around him, to pull him deep into her; to make sure that he never leaves. It's a raw, powerful and needful thing. And right now, she can't quite be sure where she ends, and he begins. She feels lost. Intoxicated. But the warm pull of the wine in her veins has dulled almost to the point of inconsequence. This is Finnick now. Everywhere. Driving her mad, but in the best possible way.

"And I love you," she echoes, whisper soft.

A smile forms on his lips hearing her say that. His hips take on a slow rocking pace as he brings himself to lie on top of her so he can passionately kiss her. He just wants this moment to last forever. The two of them connected. He needs her to know he loves her more than anything in the world. The woman who understands him inside and out, who stands by him after everything he's been forced to do, who still loves him despite it all. And together they're both damaged goods, but perfect just as they are.

He kisses the woman he wants to marry one day before pausing simply to admire her. There is more pleasure in being with her than he feels sexually in that moment. She truly is his world.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Only happy when I'm with you [closed]

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Epic novel is epic

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i am so sorry i have been so slow lately and made of suck. ilu! <3

Its ok! I'm not much better unfortunately! :-/

slow buddies! o/

Slow buddies FTW!