Even though you know it's the wrong thing to say

[iphigeneia]

Who| Felicity & Open.
What| Felicity tries to cope with girlfriend drama.
Where| Tribute tower common area.
When| During Family week.
Warnings/Notes| N/A? I'll update if necessary.  Tag at your leisure! :)

Felicity was a mess. There was no other way to describe her current state of mind. All of the months she'd had to grieve and get her thoughts in order were meaningless now that Pippa was here. Beyond that, Pippa didn't seem to understand Felicity's resentment, having no idea of the betrayal she would eventually commit. The Pippa she was faced with was an uncorrupted, purer version of the Pippa she'd last encountered, and that made Felicity's heart ache all the more. She was enraged at Pippa, and for what? For something Pippa hadn't even done yet. It was all so unfair!

And she couldn't even appreciate Gemma's presence. Gemma, her dearest, truest friend in the world, the one person she could trust with her secrets, here at last. But soon Gemma would be gone, and Felicity would be alone again, left to mourn not only her best friend, but the girl she loved all over again. Felicity would have no one.

But perhaps it was better this way. Love was for the weak. Affection made people soft, and Fee could not afford the luxury of softness. She had to be bold and strong, and she couldn't let her feelings show. Instead, she put on a brave face, even as she excused herself from Pippa and Gemma's company in the District Two suites for some time spent alone in the common areas of the tower. She had to collect herself and be strong. Without her strength, she was nothing but a miserable, heartbroken little girl.

Comments

[nunpunching]

Punchy's not a fan of Felicity. The last time they encountered each other, he has difficulty walking for hours afterwards, hunched like a little old man with a urinary problem. As such, he's been avoiding her.

Still, he's not one to turn away from someone in need. Felicity may be putting on a brave face, and Punchy may be an inconsiderate lout with serious social awareness issues, but he's also good at picking up on sadness. It permeated his household when he was growing up, his sister's metaphorical ghost haunting the entirety of the family.

He approaches, an expression of genuine empathy on his face. "Everything breezy, shaw- uh, lady?"

[iphigeneia]

Punchy is just about the last person Felicity wants to see, but she can't even muster the rage to yell at him. That is how shaken she is by this entire rotten scenario. Instead of lashing out, she looks up at him, agony knit into her brows.

"Not at all. Rather, everything is the precise opposite of breezy." She casts her gaze downward, shame creeping over her, embracing her as it always has.

[nunpunching]

"Do you..." Punchy looks absolutely clueless, as if she's just asked him to solve a quadratic equation in Latin. He holds his hands out at his sides. "Do you want a hug? I ain't trying to cop a feel or shit, you just look..."

He ponders for a bit. "Lonely."

[iphigeneia]

Felicity bristles, but she doesn't bolt away, which is probably a good sign. Probably. Part of her wants to bolt, but her exhausted is apparent. "I don't need a hug, sir. I am not one for being held or coddled. I've always been a lonely person. It is not unknown to me."

[nunpunching]

Well, shit. That's just sad.

"Just 'cuz it's your daily don't mean it's gotta be your state of nature, shaw- lady." He tilts his head to the side in a comical way. "But fine, I won't horn in if you don't want a cuddle."

[swedeandlow]

He was run ragged, trying to keep up with everything, but then again there was rarely a day when Kurt Wallander didn't look ragged. That was a stark contrast to Felicity, who always looked perfect, he thought. Even now, with that glimmer of defiance just behind her eyes. He wondered what she was thinking about, realised he probably would not understand at all, and gave up thinking about it. He would just have to ask.

"Everything alright?" He asked, pulling out his identification. "Kurt Wallander. I'm a peacekeeper."

[iphigeneia]

"A what?" She bristled, alarmed at having caught the attention of the policeman. Was she really such a mess? She felt like she was, perhaps, but it was another matter entirely to have her suspicions confirmed.

Coughing a little, she managed a semi-convincing (she thought) nod and forced herself to stand up straight. "I'm fine, sir. Thank you for your concern." The grimace on her face said otherwise, however.

[swedeandlow]

"Ah - a peacekeeper," he repeats, knowing that the word doesn't always mean the same thing to people from outside the capitol. "A detective, actually, but--" He saw her grimace and offered a sympathetic smile. Now he was sure his instinct had been right.

"I hope that's true," He said. "But I ah- I have a daughter, just about your age, and she loves to tell me that everything is fine when it isn't, too." His voice went slightly quiet. "If anyone has been causing you trouble, or..."

[iphigeneia]

She shook her head quickly, hoping to further alleviate his worry. It was a half-hearted attempt, but she made it nonetheless. It was strange for her to encounter a man who expressed seemingly genuine concern and worry over his own child, and by extension over her. No parental figure had ever done that for her before.

At last, she scraped together an answer. "There is nothing you could do to help me, sir."

[dying]

Thane was not the most caring of individuals. He found that he did need a break. He slipped away from Kolyat and headed towards the open rooms. He had to consider this entire situation carefully. It was all a bit weird. Kolyat being here, and then not even realizing how long he had been gone.

He made his way to the common room. He hadn't seen this girl before. Everyone here seemed to be going through similar, odd, situations.

Instead of asking why (he didn't particularly care, or think that she would want to share) she was upset, he just said, "You seem upset."

[iphigeneia]

Felicity looked up at the intruder, no hint of malice in her eyes. Though really, if she were to be alarmed by the appearance of anyone in Panem, Thane was the likeliest of suspects. Instead, she seemed preoccupied by her own moment of internal misery.

"That is because I am," she answered shortly, making a concise effort to quit slouching and look a little less pitiful.

[dying]

Not that Thane would be bothered by any alarm. His species wasn't particularly common back where he was from, too. There were many reasons for a young woman to be upset here, especially now since the people have started to appear here. The death match was awful enough on it's own.

Empathy was challenging. "You have every reason to be, I am sure." He didn't normally approach or bother upset people. "This place thrives on weaknesses, though." He put his best foot forward, at least.

[iphigeneia]

"I do not wish to give them anymore weakness than they are due." She finally managed to give him a thorough looking over and was immediately reminded of the unique creatures of the Realms. Thane wasn't like any of those people, but he was intriguing just the same. If she weren't so focused internally, she would have liked to ask him many things, disregarding all of her manners in the process. "The Capitol does these things intentionally. Their games are not enough. They must torture us ahead of time as well."

[calledmenasir]

Felicity was not the only one in need of a break.

Nasir had noticed her leave the suite though his attention had been turned elsewhere. His brother was easy to get along with and Nasir wished they had never been parted but Agron-- there were still things he could not know. Constantly having to conceal the truth wore on him, as did his efforts at keeping Agron from attempting to kill one a peacekeeper or escort.

He needed a break, if only a short one. He excused himself briefly and wandered into the tribue commons. It was there that he saw Felicity, who appeared in need of comfort.

He slowly approached her.

"Do you wish to break words?" Nasir asked gently.

[iphigeneia]

"Break words?" She repeated dumbly, at once grateful that Nasir should have come across her in this state and also embarrassed that he would see how pathetic she truly was. She hated seeming weak, despised the thought of losing control of herself, especially when it came to things as complicated as her feelings and inclinations.

On the one hand, though, she very much wished she could confide her troubles in someone. On the other, what could a man like Nasir possibly know about the turmoil within her soul at this very moment? She was a degenerate, a sinner, and an ungrateful one at that. No one could possibly understand the tumult rattling within her, especially not a man.

But he had asked. And he had been decent to her. It was strange, to find men who were not unkind. "Yes. I think I should like that very much, Nasir."

[calledmenasir]

Nasir however, was used to speaking with women and at times confiding in them. Many of the house slaves had been women and at times he found their company a welcome change from the gladiators he otherwise spent his hours with.

Nasir settled beside Felicity and gave her a few moments to better collect herself as he did the same. He did not push so much as nudge his own worries, every present, to the side.

"What troubles mind?"

[iphigeneia]

Felicity swallowed hard, summoning up some of her usually limitless fortitude to guide her through her confession. Slowly, she raised her gaze to meet Nasir's. It felt almost sinful to say it, even now, after all these months. Speaking about the grief, even acknowledging it, made it all seem fresh again. But her heart wasn't healing. She felt as though she were infected, as if the pain would eat her alive from the inside out.

"Someone is here. Someone I used to love. I..." Her cheeks burned in an atypical way. "I never thought I would see them again."

Jet+Albert for moral support

[metalicarus]

This was one of the few times he'd managed to escape his parents for more than a couple hours and, for once, he decided not to spend that time laying around in his room with Albert--although he knew the German was nearby. He just needed a change in scenery, it was one of the few things he could still control.

He had half a mind to avoid talking to anyone just in case Ciro suddenly found them, but then he spotted Felicity and she looked about as good as he felt. He crossed over to her and sat nearby, hoping maybe he could help someone else since he couldn't help himself.

"Hey. Rough week?"

[silberfuchs]

Albert is indeed nearby. Almost hovering, in fact, though he's trying to be inconspicuous about it. Even so there's a protective quality to how he stands a bit behind Jet, leaning against the wall nearby with his arms folded and keeping his eyes scanning the room in case Jet's parents decide to track them down for whatever reason.

He hopes not. They need a bit of breathing room.

Intent on his vigil, it takes a moment before he realizes who Jet is talking to and his posture relaxes into something slightly less tense and more concerned. He may have only spoken with Felicity once, but Jet spoke highly of her and she looks distressed. Still, he doesn't want to crowd, so instead he stands off the wall again and grunts quietly. "I'll make some tea."

Well, tea for himself and Felicity. Jet won't drink the stuff, so he'll rummage for some hot chocolate instead for him. Comforting drinks for everyone; it should help a little.

[iphigeneia]

Even Felicity was surprised by her reaction to their appearances. Her spirits lifted, just for a moment, but it was really the first moment of gladness she'd felt since Pippa and Gemma had arrived. Still, she was too taxed emotionally to manage a full smile. So she settled for a nod, taking up residence beside Jet, even as she looked to Albert.

"I think I may go mad," she said, staring down her nose, lips pursed in an effort to maintain her composure. "That may have been the point to this reunion, I suppose. I cannot come up with any other reason for this."

[metalicarus]

Jet flashes Albert a small, grateful, smile before giving his attention back to Felicity. He might think that crap was just grass water, but he knew it helped other people out, so that made it a little less terrible.

"Yeah, maybe. Crazy or scared, I'd bet. Wanna talk about it or just sorta sit here and not think about it for a little while?"

[carnagecarnival]

He's not a bleeding heart and no one in their right mind could call him such. But despite all things, he's not heartless yet. He hasn't quite had the mind to carve it out completely, even if his futures said it was but a matter of time.

And for all the wonder of it, he's got no question of how bad it tastes to be that. He's got a face of stone though and he recognizes it on her. Just as he recognizes the cracks in it.

And in selfishness, he'd like to not thinking of the sleeping beast outside, the boys running around wearing his likeness--triplets, humans would think they were, if they didn't know better-- for a little while. He uses her despair to flee from it.

He speaks, without really looking at her. "THE ROOF MAKES FOR GOOD QUARANTINE. Though he has heard motherfucking tell there is a dragon there as of late. THE LIBRARY MAKES FOR SUFFICIENT SECOND, IF ALL DESIRINGS BE OF HER."

[iphigeneia]

His voice shakes Fee from her solitary moment of self-pity and grabs hold of her. She looks to him, blinking rapidly, suddenly very keenly aware of what a sullen mess she must seem to be. That he isn't necessarily paying attention doesn't matter, really. She's vain enough that her appearance matters.

"Pardon?" She tilts her head, hands on her hips. "What was that about a dragon on the roof?"

[carnagecarnival]

He looks at her then, face impassive. If he cares on her appearance, he hasn't a thing to say of it.

"Someone's lusus," He explains. "BROUGHT IN AS PART OF SUCH RELATIONS RETURNED RECENT." Terezi's to be exact, but that didn't need to be delved into.

"Figured a sister would want more privacy if all she had intent of her to hide what troubles plague her pan. HENCE, THE ROOF AT A TIME OTHER THAN THIS. The library otherwise."

[iphigeneia]

She was still having difficulty parsing through his words, but after a moment, she figured that she understood the gist of it. Someone had a dragon relative visiting, just as she had Pippa and Gemma. And said dragon was presently on the roof and ought to be avoided, for the sake of her own privacy. It made sense, after thinking his words through.

"Oh. I see." Felicity lowered her eyes from the imposing troll, not in deference so much as in contemplation. "Thank you. I might've accidentally disturbed it otherwise."