thecapitol | i've seen trials

Who| Susannah and OPEN
What| Susannah wakes up after having spent most of the mini-arena as Detta Walker, only to find out that everyone knows about her multiple personalities.
Where| Her room on District Ten's floor
When| Right after the mini-arena, but before the Thicker than Blood event.
Warnings/Notes| Reference to the awful things Detta did, possibly other things.

Her forspecial legs aren't there when she wakes up on the metal bed. They haven't been retrieved yet, they tell her. They'll let her know when--if? perhaps it is if--she can have them back and until then there's a wheelchair for her. Not her wheelchair, of course. Harley stole that one and crashed it.

Harley...

Susannah isn't paying as close attention as she should to what's being told to her, even though she knows she ought to be. She's too busy feeling shame for everything Detta did--everything that Eddie, Roland, her district mates, the other tributes, everyone in Panem saw her do.

What must they all think of her?

She find out as she wheels herself past one of the ubiquitous televisions airing footage of the game. They're talking about her onscreen, about Detta and Odetta, speculating on if she's ever manifested Detta before in the arenas, they know, they know, and the memory of her telling Harley about her divided self all those months ago resurfaces, they'd been in an arena then, the Capitol had the footage, they must have been waiting for the right time to air it, oh lord of course they had, it was absolutely scandalous, everyone would be talking about her for weeks, poor mad SusannaOdettaDetta--

"No," she whispers, half to herself, and she starts wheeling herself, as fast as she can, to the elevator, the blessedly empty elevator, and if the D10 common room isn't completely empty she can still wheel herself back into her bedroom, pull herself out of the chair and flop down on top of the bed and never move again ever.

She'll just hide out until the next arena starts.

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Starkiller never thought he would find himself curious about someone like this. When he first arrived, he wouldn't have cared at all about anyone, whether they were alive, or dead, least of all why they seemed to be holing themselves up in their room. But he'd changed, even if a little. After the whole pie thing, he couldn't help but view the woman in a positive light.

And it's because of the pie thing that he wants to figure out just what's going on with Susannah. The nice, friendly woman seemed to be gone within the arena and he had to wonder where that even came from. Granted, being in a life or death situation could change even the best of people, but a few things didn't add up. Usually personalities don't take a complete 180. He hadn't ever met anyone with multiple personalities before- then again, he hadn't really been around anyone in order to do so.

So he was curious. That's why he's stopping in front of her door, feeling a bit awkward. He's never checked in on anyone before. Usually he comes with a purpose, and that purpose is to train. Oh well... this is what friends do, right? Or at least, acquaintances who might become friends.

Either way, a knock on the door announces his arrival. "It's me... Starkiller. Are you in there?"

There's a bark of not quite laughter from the other side of the door, a rueful sound. "I decide I want to be left alone and suddenly everyone's bangin' on my door. So what are you here to say, Mr Starkiller?"

She sounds much more like the woman he first met, not the woman from the arena.

That's a good question. He doesn't know what he's here to say, exactly. It's even harder to admit why he's here- which is essentially just to check on her. But he guesses a bit of honesty isn't going to kill him. "Considering how stressful the arena clearly was," he says. "I just wanted to see how you were fairing." There. He was honest and it hasn't killed him.

Yet.

"Not well," she says. "Pretty damn poorly, actually. One of the first friends I made here manipulated me and broke my trust and helped the bitch I shared my body with to run wild over the entire damn arena. An' now everyone knows I'm broken."

When he first arrived, Starkiller might've found this to be whiny and stupid. But now, he can kind of put himself in her shoes and see how... awful, that might feel. If Hans were to do something like that to him, he would be pretty damn upset as well.

"Do you mind if I come in?" he asks after a moment. "I'm getting tired of talking to a door. I don't intend to mock or belittle you for what happened, if it helps."

Susannah makes a sound that might have been a laugh if it wasn't so resigned. "Why not? Everyone else has. The door's not locked."

He'll find her sitting on the bed once the door is open. She's without the prosthesis again.

It's with a little hesitation that Starkiller opens the door. He can tell she probably doesn't want anyone around, but he still wants to talk a little more. Besides, isn't talking cathartic to some people? Maybe it will be to her.

He closes the door behind him and looks her way, eyes trailing over her slowly. The silence that followed was uncomfortable and he didn't really know how to break it.

"You don't look as bad as you sound," he says after a moment. Smooth. "So why is this such an upsetting thing for you? The betrayal, I can understand. But why care that people know?"

Edited 2014-04-24 08:00 (UTC)

"Why wouldn't I care?" She folds her arms over her chest. "You've seen that bitch in action on the television, haven't you? Why would anyone want to be associated with her? Nobody'll trust me anymore, because I was keeping her a secret, because they'll all be afraid I'll turn back into her again!"

"Have you considered that maybe not everyone would particularly care?" he asked, raising his eyebrows as if it didn't make any sense to him. "To anyone who actually matters, anyway. You and I are hardly close, but it doesn't really change my opinion of you."

Starkiller moved a little closer. "It's a part of you, but it isn't as if it's a part of you that comes out all the time. You still seem you, to me."

"I am me again," she says, letting her hands fall to her side. "And-- oh I don't know, it seems to me that seeing someone act like that should rightly change your opinion of them, but counting you and not counting Roland who knew it all anyway, that's two of three people I've talked to whose opinions aren't changed and even Wy didn't hate me, so maybe you're right."

She sighs and rubs her forehead. "Congratulations on your friend winning, by the way."

"I would think that's enough proof that you're overthinking things, then. Don't you think so?" As strange as multiple personalities were, he didn't think it was a dealbreaker in their acquaintanceship. "If you let it consume you, you'll only turn into something resembling that person."

At her congratulations, he shrugged. "Thank you. I didn't put too much hope in him winning." It was a lie, of course. He'd hoped a great deal. "It was a pleasant surprise."

"Ugh," she says. "No... that's definitely the last thing I want." She rubs her forehead again. "At least he'll probably be a good mentor. I kinda worry about Harley's tributes, if she'll start messing with their heads too."

"Then you're going to have to find a way to put this behind you," he said. It was all he would say on the matter any longer- it was up to her to come to terms with it and get over it. All he could do was hope he pushed her in a positive direction.

He shrugged. "There's no telling what she's capable of now that she's a mentor. But I doubt she would do anything to jeopardize her position."

"No," says Susannah. "She probably won't. But... I wouldn't be surprised if the Capitol gets a kick out of havin' mad tributes around, either. It'd make for good television."

i've seen trials

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