i've seen trials

[dividedgirlofmine]

Who| Susannah and OPEN
What| Susannah wakes up after having spent most of the mini-arena as Detta Walker, only to find out that everyone knows about her multiple personalities.
Where| Her room on District Ten's floor
When| Right after the mini-arena, but before the Thicker than Blood event.
Warnings/Notes| Reference to the awful things Detta did, possibly other things.

Her forspecial legs aren't there when she wakes up on the metal bed. They haven't been retrieved yet, they tell her. They'll let her know when--if? perhaps it is if--she can have them back and until then there's a wheelchair for her. Not her wheelchair, of course. Harley stole that one and crashed it.

Harley...

Susannah isn't paying as close attention as she should to what's being told to her, even though she knows she ought to be. She's too busy feeling shame for everything Detta did--everything that Eddie, Roland, her district mates, the other tributes, everyone in Panem saw her do.

What must they all think of her?

She find out as she wheels herself past one of the ubiquitous televisions airing footage of the game. They're talking about her onscreen, about Detta and Odetta, speculating on if she's ever manifested Detta before in the arenas, they know, they know, and the memory of her telling Harley about her divided self all those months ago resurfaces, they'd been in an arena then, the Capitol had the footage, they must have been waiting for the right time to air it, oh lord of course they had, it was absolutely scandalous, everyone would be talking about her for weeks, poor mad SusannaOdettaDetta--

"No," she whispers, half to herself, and she starts wheeling herself, as fast as she can, to the elevator, the blessedly empty elevator, and if the D10 common room isn't completely empty she can still wheel herself back into her bedroom, pull herself out of the chair and flop down on top of the bed and never move again ever.

She'll just hide out until the next arena starts.

Comments

[dividedgirlofmine]

"Why wouldn't I care?" She folds her arms over her chest. "You've seen that bitch in action on the television, haven't you? Why would anyone want to be associated with her? Nobody'll trust me anymore, because I was keeping her a secret, because they'll all be afraid I'll turn back into her again!"

[sithcretapprentice]

"Have you considered that maybe not everyone would particularly care?" he asked, raising his eyebrows as if it didn't make any sense to him. "To anyone who actually matters, anyway. You and I are hardly close, but it doesn't really change my opinion of you."

Starkiller moved a little closer. "It's a part of you, but it isn't as if it's a part of you that comes out all the time. You still seem you, to me."

[dividedgirlofmine]

"I am me again," she says, letting her hands fall to her side. "And-- oh I don't know, it seems to me that seeing someone act like that should rightly change your opinion of them, but counting you and not counting Roland who knew it all anyway, that's two of three people I've talked to whose opinions aren't changed and even Wy didn't hate me, so maybe you're right."

She sighs and rubs her forehead. "Congratulations on your friend winning, by the way."

[sithcretapprentice]

"I would think that's enough proof that you're overthinking things, then. Don't you think so?" As strange as multiple personalities were, he didn't think it was a dealbreaker in their acquaintanceship. "If you let it consume you, you'll only turn into something resembling that person."

At her congratulations, he shrugged. "Thank you. I didn't put too much hope in him winning." It was a lie, of course. He'd hoped a great deal. "It was a pleasant surprise."

[dividedgirlofmine]

"Ugh," she says. "No... that's definitely the last thing I want." She rubs her forehead again. "At least he'll probably be a good mentor. I kinda worry about Harley's tributes, if she'll start messing with their heads too."

[sithcretapprentice]

"Then you're going to have to find a way to put this behind you," he said. It was all he would say on the matter any longer- it was up to her to come to terms with it and get over it. All he could do was hope he pushed her in a positive direction.

He shrugged. "There's no telling what she's capable of now that she's a mentor. But I doubt she would do anything to jeopardize her position."

[dividedgirlofmine]

"No," says Susannah. "She probably won't. But... I wouldn't be surprised if the Capitol gets a kick out of havin' mad tributes around, either. It'd make for good television."