thecapitol | Awake and alive

Entry tags:

Awake and alive

Who: Eponine and Eva: Eponine and open
What: Eponine wakes up, Eva calms her down and Eponine tries to distract herself
Where: Eponine's bedroom and the common room
When: the beginning of week 4 of the arena.
Warnings: Eponine crying a lot. Probably talk of her endeavours in the arena and before that as well.

Closed to Eva - Eponine's bedroom

Eponine wakes up with a moan already on her lips. She closes her eyes tight again, almost as soon as she opens them. She does not want to be awake. She had hoped beyond hope that they'd just leave her this time, that they were finished with her and would forget about her and leave her dead. But there's no such look and Eponine has to wake up and face the music over what she's done.

She's made such a mess and she doesn't quite know how, and she certainly has no idea how to fix it. She definitely doesn't want to even begin figuring out where to begin with it all now, so she turns over, pulling her quilt right up about her. And then stops, shocked, when she sees Eva.

Open - Later in the Common Room

She's curled up in the corner of the arm chair, an open bag of 'body part fun gums' open next to her. It had been the Capitol's little joke, stuffing them into her gift bag for when she had woken up, and at first, Eponine had been upset. But then she had decided that she wasn't going to let the Capitol see how much they affected her, and so she sits, steadily munching on them.

In front of her, the television screen shows the Games: she watches as Wyatt comforts Howard. But she's not really paying much attention: on her knee is an open alphabet book, another little gift from the Capitol, full of cartoons of herself. She's flicking through it absently, systematically chewing on the sweets as she does so. She needs to get a plan together, to figure out how to survive, and how to live with herself now.

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"Madame?" She asks, completely shocked. She pulls herself into a sitting position, still clutching her quilt about her.
"Why are you here? I did not think you would want to... to see me again."

There are parts of Eva that rarely see daylight. They're musty and pale, the kinds of emotions that grow extra-large eyes and transparent skin to deal with the darkness, but they're there, and they come pouring out of her now. They come pouring out for Eponine.

Those parts are forgiveness and that maternal urge to coax a sick child back to health. It doesn't matter that Eponine's sick in her soul and not her body. It doesn't matter at all.

Eponine, sitting on a chair where Eponine's nightstand used to be, reaches forward.

"It takes more than the Capitol to scare me off, dear." She strokes Eponine's forehead, slinking past the defense of the blankets. "I'll have the Avoxes make us fresh tea."

Eponine had thought that there were no tears left for her to cry. But just that simple, motherly gesture - the human contact with someone who seems to love her unconditionally - is enough to set her off.

Eponine cries and it's ugly. Her face screws up and her cheeks turn blotchy and red all over again.

"Mama, I am sorry. I am sorry! I didn't think they would hurt you. I didn't want them - I didn't mean it. I'm so so sorry. I didn't think you'd love me. I am sorry." Her scattered explanations come out in a cough and a splutter; she sniffs and wipes her nose on her nightgown sleeve.

"I didn't think you'd come back."

"I am very dependable in some ways." Eva reaches under her chair and produces a box of tissues. She doesn't want to admit how worried she was that Eponine wouldn't return, finds it gauche to congratulate her on such a dramatic performance. "You needn't apologize."

Chastising, if ever, can come later. She puts a hand to Eponine's shoulder and pulls her close.

"I'm just glad you're back." She tries to keep the tightness in her throat from coming out in sound.

Eponine puts her own arms about Eva, hugging the woman with all of her might. "I was so scared they'd hurt you. I wanted to die so I could find you - but oh, I was so scared in case you were hurt or cross with me... and it kept getting worse, and they're laughing at me and - and - " Her tears come thick and fast and she hides her face against Eva's shoulder, soaking the woman's top with tears and snot.
"Mama, I do not know what to do. I do not want to cry any more."

"We will do damage control." The almighty 'we', with its implicit solidarity. Eva cringes a little as Eponine hugs her, but does not loosen her own embrace. Not when Eponine's arms put pressure on bruises from getting hauled around by Peacekeepers, and not when Eponine's tears start to seep through her clothing.

"But for now, be assured that not all your nightmares have merit."

"How do you know what I dream?" Eponine hiccuphs a laugh, but she doesn't let go of her bear hug. This is what she's been waiting for, for the person she loves before all others to put her arms about her and love her unconditionally.

"What is damage control? You will help me to tell people that I am not as much a horrid person as they think? That I do... Love... Charles?"

She wrinkles her nose against Eva. She doesn't love Orc. Not like that. And when he finds out, he AND Howard will hate her.