I'll be your harvester of light

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

Who| The Disciple; openish!
What| The Disciple wanders in search of Signless
Where| Training Center
When| Late Week 5/Early Week 6
Warnings/Notes| Angst purrobably

The avoxs have replaced three pillows since she returned and somewhere in her haze, she hoped they didn't get in trouble for the mess they were throwing away. Torn to shreds, covered in green tears, it's not their fault. She's the one acting like a wiggler. Acting like her whole world has fallen apart. Childlishly holing up in her room, waiting for Signless to come to her, to apologize for the hell he put her through. But that's stupid, she realized. Selfish. Cruel.

Eventually she forced herself to watch the coverage. Watch every moment, from Psiionic and Signless, to Terezi and Karkat--the Ininiate who makes her blood boil...To the death in her arms. She watched it twice more, until the tears stop falling and she could face it as it is.

And she still does not know what to say to him. The hate boils but mixes with pity and god she needs a pap, she needs a soothing touch because the Ininiate is somewhere in these walls and she wants to--needs to hunt him down and make him pay.

That's how she ends up wandering around, trying to find him. Down to District 1 where Karkat lives and up to Twelve where he lives. Her stupid selfishness needs to end.

Comments

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

She brightened even more, smiling and nodding along with him.

"Precisely. It's...the most I could have hoped for."

[deafscythe]

"What sorts of things did you write down?"

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

"His words, his philosophies--the things we all did. The places we went. Any stories I think might prove interesting, useful or--well--inspiring?" She feels her cheeks heat, green showing under gray before she shakes her head roughly, "I was part of a group of his close followers and we took off all over Alternia. I was young and I thought we might do great things some day...So I thought I would write what I would want to know about our journey and the things we believed in, if I were to find it all later."

[deafscythe]

Justin Law is more than just slightly religious. Religion is the one thing in his world that makes complete sense, that he clings to no matter what else happens.

"Could you tell me one of the stories?"

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

After a moment of pondering, she hesitates. Most of their stories require a bit of explanation for someone who is not a troll. She hopes he doesn't mind.

"Well the story of his childhood is fairly interesting but I don't know how remarkable it would be to a species that doesn't seem to have lusii. Do you always raise your young?"0

[deafscythe]

"Generally." Not always. "What are lusii?"

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

"Lusii, or if just one, a lusus, are creatures that take care of wrigglers--er small trolls, until they come of age and can fend for themselves. Mine was a great purrbeast, with a mane and two tails, he was wonderful. And you can have all sorts of things, a dragon, a baabeast, barkbeasts; they took care of you, fed you, and helped you learn the skills needed to survive."

There's a hidden tone of 'obviously, why don't you have one, how do you survive with an adult taking care of you who has so many responsibilities of their own'. Even living with a troll who was raised by another troll, there's an ingrained sense that it was an anomaly. After all, The Dolorosa had to leave her post and her calling in life to do it, running and fighting her way across the deserts to simply survive with a wriggler. Things were much simpler with a lusus.

[deafscythe]

"Ah, do they not have their own young to care for? Why would they watch over another species?"

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

"I don't know, I suppose they must if they survive, but they've always taken care of our young and in turn, when we're old enough, we provide them with food and protection in turn. It's a relationship of mutual benefit."

[deafscythe]

"It seems strange. I would not have thought a species so focused on survival would let their young be cared for by another species."

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

"It's part of the process of survival. You grow up and if you can't take care of your lusus when you're old enough, how could you possibly take care of yourself in the world. It makes sense for us. I honestly don't know how you could possibly lose so much of your life to raise your young. So we are quite different."

[deafscythe]

"I suppose we are. Have you noticed any other differences between humans and trolls?"

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

"Beyond the obvious?" She tapped her fingers on her arm for a moment, "Humans tend to be softer. In manner and in general. Easier to kill, I think, than trolls. They don't seem as hardy." She waves her hand, "Not that I've killed any of them but it seems that way. And humans care so much more about appearance. Clothing isn't as important as they make it out to be."

[deafscythe]

"Ah, the people here seem far more focused on appearance than most humans." But the information about trolls being more hardy than humans is going to be useful.

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

"I'll have to take your word for it." Then she pauses, and suddenly remembers, "Oh--I forgot the story. Signless has the rare distinction of being raised by another troll, who saved him from certain death."

[deafscythe]

"How fortunate for him."

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

"Miraculous. I don't know if I believe in romantic serendipity but it was serendipitous that she found him that day. It was fate that she left her caverns at all and fate that the one troll who would pick him up and care for him was there."

[deafscythe]

"Ah, that does seam miraculous. How did you meet him?"

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

"Later in life, he took to speaking to crowds about his visions--visions of a peaceful world. I almost didn't go, it seemed like nonsense then. It always does at first, trying to make peace seem like an option in our murder centered society." A casual shrug.

"But I listened once and was hooked. I listened again every time he came, for a half dozen days, and when he left our town, I followed him. His lusus and him let me join them."

oh my goodness that was such a terrible typo im sorry for inflicting that on you

[deafscythe]

"Was he successful? A peaceful world would be difficult to achieve, even for humans."

pft it was one letter

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

"No. He didn't. The higher castes had a vested interest in keeping the world as dangerous and murderous as it was, given they gained their power because of it."

but homophones are the worst typos

[deafscythe]

"It must be difficult for you, knowing that nothing good came from your suffering." He has to wonder if that's what people will say about his mission, years from now. Except that the ones in power would never let any sympathizers survive.

No. They will prevail. That is the only possible outcome.

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

"It's hard but just because we failed doesn't mean it did no good. Though we died--or will die, we did help people along the way. We changed some peoples lives so that's for the best."

It all sounds a little hollow, but she's had sweeps to overcome that thought. To practice the right thing to say.

[deafscythe]

"Ah, that would be a good thing." If lives were changed. Which seemed unlikely.

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

"I hope so. No one likes to think that what they do is meaningless."

She pauses, "I'm sorry, I keep going on about myself. What did you do? Before you were sucked up in all this mess."