thecapitol | (no subject)

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(no subject)

WHO| open
WHAT| Kaidan is back from the dead (again) and a little upset about this whole thing
WHEN| p. much rn.
WHERE| Anywhere, just specify owo

Kaidan's body aches. Two rockslides the original arena, and a falling building this one. It seems that Kaidan's luck is thin when it comes to anything that could possibly ever fall on him. He's freshly awake, only by a bit, and stretching his legs. He doesn't want to stay cooped up, not when he can feel the start of a migraine pushing at his temples, not when it feels just being caged up like an animal.

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It's a nice sentiment, but she has a sinking suspicion that it isn't the case. "A part of me wants to know why. Why you and not them? Why Ariadne? Why that psycho blonde boy from 7 and not Amy? There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason to it."

Kaidan lets out a breath. There isn't any visible reason for why a certain person leaves, Maybe it's just to keep everyone on their toes, to keep them entertaining. He looks over at Shepard again before just smiling, even if it doesn't reach his eyes. He has to. "We'll figure it out, Shepard."

"We will," Shepard agrees, and turns to look at the window. It's a much different view here on the first level than it is from the ninth, though if she were to be perfectly honest, she isn't certain she could tell anyone what that view was even like.

Kaidan lets a silence fall over them for a second as he mulls about his thoughts, the missing tributes, and the promise they've made. It takes a second but Kaidan looks back at Shepard, at her feet where the dress and shoes end. "You really do look good, Commander. Formal wear suits you."

She isn't outright blushing, but her face does feel a bit warmer. Dresses have never really been her 'thing,' if only because they were completely impractical for her lifestyle. That wasn't to say that she had never put one on before, or felt entirely out of her skin wearing one. Just... out of the ordinary. Dresses were for special occasions. Not a single moment since her arrival here even came close for qualifying as special. But that didn't mean she didn't appreciate the compliment, regardless.

Shepard chuckles and raises a single eyebrow at him and teases, "Yeah, well, soak it up while you can, Alenko."

Kaidan laughs, ducking his head again and looking back out the window. He doesn't say that he will-- but he'll certainly appreciate it while it happens. He's told her that his closet is open to her, and by extension, his room. He's used to living military, having personal space isn't something he practises often enough to appreciate. Sharing it with Shepard isn't anything new.

"I'm glad you're here," she says. Her voice isn't necessarily urgent or overly serious, but there is sincerity there that doesn't come just anytime she speaks. Shepard has never been one to hold onto things; people or possessions or whatever else there might be. Life never really worked out that way for her. Always moving and changing and pushing forward, it didn't leave a lot of room to bring things along with her. She's never exactly had any illusions that she couldn't accomplish anything she set her mind to, no matter what situation she landed herself in. But it was... it was nice that he was here.

Kaidan pauses for a second. "Me too." And he hopes Shepard understands what he means by it-- the fighting, the killing, no none of that. But being with Shepard, repairing what happened between them, standing beside her once again and actually being someone she trusts, that he can trust... well the Capitol did one thing right in tossing them into the ring together. Instead of enemies, they became something else completely.

Her face softens and her smile is more in her eyes than it is on her lips, and for a moment, she just looks at him. He's there before her good as new; cleaned up and free of whatever broken limbs he should probably still have, any new scars he should be carrying save for those she's already familiar with. It doesn't make any sense at all why he's here, but she's touched death herself before, so she knows that the Kaidan before her is her Kaidan and not just some close approximation of him.

"Whatever the Capitol throws at us next... well, hopefully we'll be ready. I feel good about it, though. I do." Kaidan doesn't look over at the Commander again, keeps his eyes out through the window, looking at the view given to him. He's determined to survive-- not to win, but to help. He's died twice already, and if it keeps people he cares about out of the Arena then... why not. He knows what he has to do, and he knows he will carry out the mission as planned.

"We've been through worse," Shepard agrees, turning to look out the window again. It's a warm summer day outside with a vivid blue sky overhead and a garden of green grass and trees. Too much of the city is in the way to see the mountains beyond, but she knows they're there. She can see hints of them from the window in her own room.

She was born and raised on starships, so to her, Earth has always just been another base, never home. This place... it wasn't even that. She wonders what it must be like for Kaidan... if he ever looks out and expected to see home only to be reminded just how far away that was.

"Yeah, we have." Kaidan crosses his arms then, putting his hip out a bit and just watches-- watches as the city goes about its business, with or without his permission. It's nothing like Vancouver, but everything like. The large city, the hints of mountains, it all makes Kaidan a bit nostalgic for something he hasn't seen in years. When was the last time he went to go see his folks? He'll just have to live through this to make sure he has the chance.

She shifts slightly so that she's standing a bit closer to him. For comfort, maybe. Familiarity. Something like that.

"Do you ever wonder..." her voice is soft and distant, if only for a moment. The thoughts in her head just spill out, "If it's still all out there? You think everything we left behind is still there? The galaxy just spinning on without us?"

"It would be better than it just never having existed." Kaidan says lightly, turning to face her even if she's looking away. "Everything keeps going with or without us. Always has."

She smirks and laughs to herself, though the thoughts in her head are bitter and selfish. At least she knows that, and so she laughs anyway, "Doesn't seem fair, really. Do you know what I think of, every night as I lay in my ridiculous bed? I think about how many people I'm letting down. By just... not being there. Its selfish. To think that just my absence alone has any effect on anything? But I can't shake it."

"Shepard, you have great people behind you. With or without... they'll always follow your lead. Just because you aren't there doesn't mean your influence has ended." Kaidan shifts a bit closer, as if trying to support her whatever way he can. "Instead, think of who you can help here. It's what you do Shepard, and people here need that, one way or another." Kaidan is one of them, but he doesn't say that out loud.

Edited 2012-07-14 06:51 (UTC)

Shepard lets out sigh she didn't quite realize she'd been holding. She appreciates what he's telling her, but believing it is something else entirely. Maybe she's just stubborn that way. But it's hard not to to feel at least the tiniest bit guilty of even considering focusing her energy on this place when she knows what is still out there waiting for her at home. That doesn't mean that she won't. It's just the letting go that she's struggling with. Having Kaidan right next to her helps with that almost as much as it hinders. A constant reminder of home. But also a constant reminder of who she is.

"There is... a lot going on here that we don't know about," is her strange way of saying that she agrees with him. It seems just vague enough for someone to overhear and misinterpret her meaning: that she intends to find out exactly what all 'that' is.

"There is. And I'll stand by your side. I'm not leaving it again." And he won't. He knows exactly where he belongs, and it's here with Shepard. Everything that's out there, waiting for him, on him-- all that can wait. Making a difference where you are is what matters, not wishing you were elsewhere.

She reaches over in that moment and touches his arm; a silent thank you she doesn't think she quite has the words for. Almost doesn't know what to say to that. It's a humbling thing to stand there and realize that she has people in her life like Kaidan. Loyal, good people.

Kaidan gives Shepard a smile, just a small tilt of his lips before nodding once. He understands the gesture, and feels the same way towards her. He looks back out the window after just a second-- still pleased, still contented, and still happy to have Shepard at his side.

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