"I had grown so used to being without him," he admits quietly. "I had grown so used to the idea that I'd never have him in my life again, first because he didn't want me and then because he was gone. Seeing him -- a him that still cares for me, that has no memory of hating me --" He breaks off with a shaky sigh.

"I can't lose him again, Kurloz. I want so badly to go back to being his best friend but it doesn't come easy anymore. He's hurting and scared and I can't make it better as easily I should be able to." His expression deepens into a frustrated frown. "I couldn't even hug him."