thecapitol | This Mayonnaise Better Be Good [OPEN]

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This Mayonnaise Better Be Good [OPEN]

Who| Kousuke Nitou and anyone who should come across him.
What| Nitou acquires mayonnaise and tries to go camping. Such is his life.
Where| The first grocery store Nitou's been able to find, as well as the first park he's been able to find.
When| Sometime just after Nitou's arrival.
Warnings/Notes| This is probably not going to go over well with the Peacekeepers.

[The First Random Grocery Store Nitou Found]
As though it weren't bad enough that Nitou had been taken from home and stripped of his powers and told he was going to fight in some crazy deathmatch-thing, he'd then been put in the District 5 apartments...which weren't too bad as far as apartments went, but the kitchens were sorely lacking. There was no mayonnaise. Nitou might have been even angrier with his hosts had they not so thoughtfully provided him with a credit card, and he wasted no time in making a few purchases. The first was a red wagon. The second was enough mayonnaise to fill that red wagon. The people in the store couldn't help but stare at him as he cheerfully filled the wagon with bottle after bottle, and even here in the Capitol, he attracted more than a few stares as he strode down the street pulling said wagon.

[The First Random Park Nitou Found]
Once Nitou had the mayonnaise in his possession, he decided that he didn't want to go back to the apartments. Why should he? He had mayonnaise and a credit card. And at the sight of the park he was walking his mayonnaise by, his ~~hobo~~ adventurer instincts kicked in.

Not long after that, Nitou could be found pitching a tent in the middle of the park underneath a few trees. He hadn't bothered to consider that this sort of thing just might be looked down upon by the people of the Capitol to a disastrous degree. He was quite used to being run off as a vagrant, and the idea that this could be really dangerous had completely failed to cross his mind. He also had a small barbecue pit and package of weiners nearby; he was clearly planning on having a proper hobo cookout once he had everything set up.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nitou gives Gary an easy wave back. "I'm up to lunchtime, that's what I'm up to!" He hasn't yet gotten the fire started, which is probably why the entire place doesn't smell like burning. Nitou is in fact in the process of sticking sticks into hot dogs, preparing to make them easier to eat without a bun. Or forks. Or plates. Or any sort of dining utensil or implement.

But he's got a wagonful of mayonnaise. And priorities.

"Come on over! I've got plenty!" Nitou's starting to mess with the fire-starting materials. Anyone who actually knew him might be a little alarmed at the fact that he was breaking out the lighter fluid.

There are...a few things odd about this situation that Gary is walking into. The wagon of mayonnaise has not escaped him. The use of what is probably too much lighter fluid instead of some more efficient or futuristic fire-starting device also seems a little fishy. Maybe it's part of the theme, though. What is this theme? Gary has no idea! He's pretty sure he doesn't care, either. Surely this guy knows what he's doing.

"Cool!" Gary beams and settles in behind Nitou and the soon-to-be fire pit. "Expecting anyone else, or were you planning on eating all these by yourself?"

"Hey, if anyone comes by and wants some food, then they can have some! Otherwise, it's just me," Nitou says as he tosses a match at the coals. There is a momentary small column of flame, and Nitou is at least pleased that he was quick enough to dodge and gets to keep his eyebrows this time. He wastes no time in throwing some weenies on the grill, even if he should probably let it heat up a bit more first. "But I'm a big eater, and I wanted to make sure I had enough food, you know?"

Thankfully Gary was standing slightly behind Nitou, which gives him just enough room to duck in the opposite direction of his new companion when the fire lights. His immediate reaction to this is, of course, panic and some fear, but that wears off pretty quickly once he realizes that Nitou is not put-off by his own creation. So this must have been planned, right? Yes, must have been. Gary laughs it off and smiles appreciatively at the roaring fire.

"Hey, impromptu party! I like it." Nitou gets a thumbs-up from the other side of the fire pit while Gary takes another quick look around. "Was the show just for yourself, too? I know I like to pretend that I'm grilling in front of an audience, but this is ridiculous!"

"Show?" Nitou seems surprised by the question, and then he laughs. "Nah, man, nothing like that--that's just always the way I light the grill!" He still seems pretty amused by this. "It's just lunchtime!" He's still poking at those sausages, making sure they're cooking properly. "Now, my rival, he'd probably go into this saying it was showtime!"

See? It was planned! Perfectly acceptable. Gary laughs along with him and hovers over the hotdogs, quickly shooing any lingering doubts out of his mind with the promise of food and good company.

"One of those types, is he?" An image of Nitou and a cartoonishly angry Nitou aggressively cooking sausages over a fire briefly flashes through Gary's mind. He chuckles to himself. "I almost hope he shows up--maybe he'll bring more food, eh?"

Edited 2014-10-20 14:58 (UTC)

"If he did show up, it'd be with nothing but a bag of plain sugar donuts!" Nitou laughs as he fans the flames in an attempt to get the dogs to cook a little faster. "Plain sugar! Always plain sugar! He'd even get mad if I tried to put mayonnaise on them!"

Someone more observant might connect the dots that a certain member of their District likes to leave bags of plain sugar donuts in the main area kitchen. Gary is not this person. He is interested in far more important things.

"Mayonnaise on donuts?" Gary pulls a face. "Dude, no wonder he was mad--you weren't subtle enough. I'd replace the sugar with salt next time." The teen grins, obviously quite proud with himself. "Then he'll be pissed, but it won't be at you."

Nitou blinks a few times, processing this. "But mayonnaise on donuts is really good!" Had that been misinterpreted as some sort of joke? How odd. He grins. "But I'll keep the salt thing in mind if I wanna do something terrible to him."

The fact that this isn't apparently a joke also strikes Gary as particularly odd. He grins and laughs back in encouragement, but is still obviously pretty confused.

"...No way." Nitou can't be serious. But then again, Gary's never thought to try mayo on donuts before. Maybe it's actually really good! "One day I'll get you some donuts and you'll prove it."

"Oh, man, just you wait! There's nothing like a mayo donut! It's sweet, and then it's got the taste of mayo...and aaaaah, I'm making myself hungry." So he'll prod at those hot dogs a little more, turning them and hoping they'd finish cooking soon so they could be properly covered in mayonnaise and devoured.

Those...don't sound like flavors that should mix. Can't knock it 'till he tries it though, right? Gary shrugs and takes another look around, seeing if Nitou's brought anything that will make the cooking process faster for both of them.

It's about this point that he finally notices the wagon full of mayonnaise.

"Dude." Gary points an incriminating thumb in the cart's direction. "Do you even need the hotdogs, or are they just an excuse?"

"Hey, you gotta have something to eat the mayo with. Eating it straight from the bottle in public is just weird." Note that it's only in public Nitou won't eat it straight from the bottle... "Besides, then you've got the flavor of the hot dog complementing the flavor of the mayonnaise!"

Gary does note this. There's a few moments of awkward silence.

Then he laughs. "Hotdogs with your mayo! Hah!" Gary aims a playful punch at Nitou's shoulder. "I like it! You're a cool guy. What's your name, guy?"

"Kousuke Nitou!" Nitou returns the playful punch in kind. "You're pretty cool yourself, so you gotta tell me yours now."

"Hey, fair trade!" Gary beams and folds his arms. "Gary Epps. Nice to meet you, Kousuke Nitou, Mayonnaise Overlord."

He really wants to try this whole 'mayo on a hotdog' thing now. Gary reaches for the ones currently cooking to see if they're done yet.

"Mayonnaise Overlord? Hah! I like the sound of that!" There is no hesitation as Nitou reaches over, grabs a dog, and squirts a ridiculous amount of mayonnaise onto it. It's almost equal parts mayo and dog. "So you want this one, or you want to pick your own?"

"Accurate, isn't it?" Gary shrugs and grabs the offered mayo with hotdog. A wise man may have gotten his own and put slightly less mayonnaise on it to taste first--but what is life without some risks and spontaneity? Boring, as far as Gary's concerned!

He has the control to wait, though, for Nitou to fix a second hotdog. Gary raises his up like a liquor glass in a mock toast. "Bottoms up!"

"I'd say it's pretty accurate!" Nitou grins and raises his own hot dog in toast. "It's lunchtime!" And without any further ado, he digs in.

Gary takes a bite and chews, pensively. At first it isn't all that bad; the flavors are separate, but they don't necessarily clash in a way that would be offensive. Not immediately. A few moments later Gary is regretting this decision quite a lot.

"Eugh," he groans, nose crinkling in disgust. "Why would you ever--you like this stuff?"

"Why wouldn't you like this stuff?" Nitou protests. "It's mayonnaise! The greatest food ever!" He considers this. "I mean, yeah, the mayo here isn't anywhere near as good as what we have back home, but it's not as bad as it could be!"

"Condiment, buddy," Gary corrects, staring at the half-eaten carcass of his grilled hotdog like it's about to jump up and bite him back. "Like...if it's a food, you could probably live off of it, right? I don't think you could live off of mayo."

He actually sounds kind of curious about this.

"Y'know," Nitou says as he thoughtfully chomps on his hot dog, "I bet I could. Maybe supplement it with vitamin pills or something, but that doesn't count."

Gary gives his hotdog one last paranoid glare before he decides that it's more awkward not to eat it. He's hungry, Nitou's eating with no troubles, and Gary's never been one to let food go to waste, anyways.

"Yeah--gotta be the food itself." He takes a bite and squints. Such an odd taste...he'll get over it, probably. "What's in mayo, anyway? Like...eggs, then what else?"

Determined to sate his curiosity immediately, Gary walks towards Nitou's wagon of mayo to check the ingredients on the bottles.

"It's oil and egg yolks!" comes the cheerful reply. "And vinegar and other seasonings!" Yes, this is all perfectly normal and natural. Nitou's helping himself to another mayo-loaded dog. "This stuff's not as good as the mayonnaise back home, but it could be a lot worse!"

come, come partake of hot dogs on a stick

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