This Mayonnaise Better Be Good [OPEN]

[infinitemayonnaise]

Who| Kousuke Nitou and anyone who should come across him.
What| Nitou acquires mayonnaise and tries to go camping. Such is his life.
Where| The first grocery store Nitou's been able to find, as well as the first park he's been able to find.
When| Sometime just after Nitou's arrival.
Warnings/Notes| This is probably not going to go over well with the Peacekeepers.


[The First Random Grocery Store Nitou Found]
As though it weren't bad enough that Nitou had been taken from home and stripped of his powers and told he was going to fight in some crazy deathmatch-thing, he'd then been put in the District 5 apartments...which weren't too bad as far as apartments went, but the kitchens were sorely lacking. There was no mayonnaise. Nitou might have been even angrier with his hosts had they not so thoughtfully provided him with a credit card, and he wasted no time in making a few purchases. The first was a red wagon. The second was enough mayonnaise to fill that red wagon. The people in the store couldn't help but stare at him as he cheerfully filled the wagon with bottle after bottle, and even here in the Capitol, he attracted more than a few stares as he strode down the street pulling said wagon.

[The First Random Park Nitou Found]
Once Nitou had the mayonnaise in his possession, he decided that he didn't want to go back to the apartments. Why should he? He had mayonnaise and a credit card. And at the sight of the park he was walking his mayonnaise by, his hobo adventurer instincts kicked in.

Not long after that, Nitou could be found pitching a tent in the middle of the park underneath a few trees. He hadn't bothered to consider that this sort of thing just might be looked down upon by the people of the Capitol to a disastrous degree. He was quite used to being run off as a vagrant, and the idea that this could be really dangerous had completely failed to cross his mind. He also had a small barbecue pit and package of weiners nearby; he was clearly planning on having a proper hobo cookout once he had everything set up.

Comments

[a_minute_younger]

The fact that this isn't apparently a joke also strikes Gary as particularly odd. He grins and laughs back in encouragement, but is still obviously pretty confused.

"...No way." Nitou can't be serious. But then again, Gary's never thought to try mayo on donuts before. Maybe it's actually really good! "One day I'll get you some donuts and you'll prove it."

[infinitemayonnaise]

"Oh, man, just you wait! There's nothing like a mayo donut! It's sweet, and then it's got the taste of mayo...and aaaaah, I'm making myself hungry." So he'll prod at those hot dogs a little more, turning them and hoping they'd finish cooking soon so they could be properly covered in mayonnaise and devoured.

[a_minute_younger]

Those...don't sound like flavors that should mix. Can't knock it 'till he tries it though, right? Gary shrugs and takes another look around, seeing if Nitou's brought anything that will make the cooking process faster for both of them.

It's about this point that he finally notices the wagon full of mayonnaise.

"Dude." Gary points an incriminating thumb in the cart's direction. "Do you even need the hotdogs, or are they just an excuse?"

[infinitemayonnaise]

"Hey, you gotta have something to eat the mayo with. Eating it straight from the bottle in public is just weird." Note that it's only in public Nitou won't eat it straight from the bottle... "Besides, then you've got the flavor of the hot dog complementing the flavor of the mayonnaise!"

[a_minute_younger]

Gary does note this. There's a few moments of awkward silence.

Then he laughs. "Hotdogs with your mayo! Hah!" Gary aims a playful punch at Nitou's shoulder. "I like it! You're a cool guy. What's your name, guy?"

[infinitemayonnaise]

"Kousuke Nitou!" Nitou returns the playful punch in kind. "You're pretty cool yourself, so you gotta tell me yours now."

[a_minute_younger]

"Hey, fair trade!" Gary beams and folds his arms. "Gary Epps. Nice to meet you, Kousuke Nitou, Mayonnaise Overlord."

He really wants to try this whole 'mayo on a hotdog' thing now. Gary reaches for the ones currently cooking to see if they're done yet.

[infinitemayonnaise]

"Mayonnaise Overlord? Hah! I like the sound of that!" There is no hesitation as Nitou reaches over, grabs a dog, and squirts a ridiculous amount of mayonnaise onto it. It's almost equal parts mayo and dog. "So you want this one, or you want to pick your own?"

[a_minute_younger]

"Accurate, isn't it?" Gary shrugs and grabs the offered mayo with hotdog. A wise man may have gotten his own and put slightly less mayonnaise on it to taste first--but what is life without some risks and spontaneity? Boring, as far as Gary's concerned!

He has the control to wait, though, for Nitou to fix a second hotdog. Gary raises his up like a liquor glass in a mock toast. "Bottoms up!"

[infinitemayonnaise]

"I'd say it's pretty accurate!" Nitou grins and raises his own hot dog in toast. "It's lunchtime!" And without any further ado, he digs in.

[a_minute_younger]

Gary takes a bite and chews, pensively. At first it isn't all that bad; the flavors are separate, but they don't necessarily clash in a way that would be offensive. Not immediately. A few moments later Gary is regretting this decision quite a lot.

"Eugh," he groans, nose crinkling in disgust. "Why would you ever--you like this stuff?"

[infinitemayonnaise]

"Why wouldn't you like this stuff?" Nitou protests. "It's mayonnaise! The greatest food ever!" He considers this. "I mean, yeah, the mayo here isn't anywhere near as good as what we have back home, but it's not as bad as it could be!"

[a_minute_younger]

"Condiment, buddy," Gary corrects, staring at the half-eaten carcass of his grilled hotdog like it's about to jump up and bite him back. "Like...if it's a food, you could probably live off of it, right? I don't think you could live off of mayo."

He actually sounds kind of curious about this.

[infinitemayonnaise]

"Y'know," Nitou says as he thoughtfully chomps on his hot dog, "I bet I could. Maybe supplement it with vitamin pills or something, but that doesn't count."

[a_minute_younger]

Gary gives his hotdog one last paranoid glare before he decides that it's more awkward not to eat it. He's hungry, Nitou's eating with no troubles, and Gary's never been one to let food go to waste, anyways.

"Yeah--gotta be the food itself." He takes a bite and squints. Such an odd taste...he'll get over it, probably. "What's in mayo, anyway? Like...eggs, then what else?"

Determined to sate his curiosity immediately, Gary walks towards Nitou's wagon of mayo to check the ingredients on the bottles.

[infinitemayonnaise]

"It's oil and egg yolks!" comes the cheerful reply. "And vinegar and other seasonings!" Yes, this is all perfectly normal and natural. Nitou's helping himself to another mayo-loaded dog. "This stuff's not as good as the mayonnaise back home, but it could be a lot worse!"

[a_minute_younger]

Gary picks up one of the many bottles of mayo Nitou has gathered and shuffles it between his hands (after stuffing the rest of his hotdog in his mouth to free the other). "I'll take your word for it," he calls, voice muffled. Gary takes a moment to clear his palate. "So, like...what if they fed the chickens that made eggs for mayonnaise a bunch of vitamins and shit? You think that would work?"

[infinitemayonnaise]

"You know, I never thought about it that way..." Nitou pauses to take another bite of his hot dog and consider this. "It just might!" Clearly, someone somewhere needs to do science in order to confirm or deny this.

[a_minute_younger]

Premier biological scientists, these two. Gary's dedication to the theory is evidenced in how he almost immediately forgets about the practical applications in favor of a stupid dare instead.

"Even if they did, you'd still be eating straight mayo for every meal." A thin, wicked smile splits Gary's face as he skewers another hotdog for the bonfire. "I know you like mayo, but I bet you don't like it that much. You'd get sick of it in a month!"

[infinitemayonnaise]

"Are you kidding me? I'm pretty much eating mayo for every meal as it is!" Nitou grins. "You find me somewhere that's got vitamin-laced mayo, and I'd eat it!"

[a_minute_younger]

Gary doesn't know how he's going to take advantage of this information just yet, but he does know that he wants to make a bet out of it. "Only mayo," he says, brow raised in challenge. "For a whole month, three times a day."

[infinitemayonnaise]

"Only three times a day?!" Yes, Nitou, that's the part that's worth getting worked up about. "Who even survives eating only three times a day?!"

[a_minute_younger]

Gary has to think about this for a little bit.

"I guess if the meals are big enough..." Hmm. He scratches his chin, skewering another hotdog for the fire. Clearly Nitou is more anxious about the amount he's allowed to eat, so this should be included in the challenge! Gary smirks. "...Yeah! Only three times a day. No snacks."

[infinitemayonnaise]

"Who can survive on eating only three times a day?!" Nitou has a very strange relationship with food. And it is mostly gluttonous.

[a_minute_younger]

"Oh, I dunno." Gary idly inspects his nails. "Normal people. People who aren't too chicken to back down from a bet. Those guys!" He passes an expectant glance under his brow. "You're one of those guys, aren't you mister Nitou?"