Cassandra "Sandy" Marko (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
justoutrunyou) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thecapitol2014-10-02 04:10 pm
justoutrunyou) wrote in thecapitol2014-10-02 04:10 pm
Entry tags:
It's a symbol without meaning.
Who: Sandy and you
What: She's back from the arena and doesn't like what she sees
Where: District 12 common area.
When: After the arena
Warnings: TW: Self harm, child suffering, mentions of violence and death...all pretty standard hunger games.
The District 12 suite may have had plenty of residents but without Effie it seemed cold and empty.
Sandy had awoken to a clean room as she always did. Her paintings were removed from the walls and ceilings again.
Normally she would start painting right away, to get all the demons and nightmares out of her head. But today felt different. Today she rose and shuffled over to the mirror to see who would be looking back at her.
Pale and thin, the same way she'd arrived. Brushing back her bangs she saw the brand as clear as day. The Capitol logo, the perfect circle. A mark of ownership and weakness.
She hated it. It made her stomach twist with self loathing.
She brought her hands up and scratched at it leaving deep red marks through the middle. Something about the way it burned felt good to her. It felt like defiance. She scratched again, and again till the red grew darker and her forehead felt like fire.
She needed something more. Something that would really disfigure the symbol. Before she knew what she was doing her arm lashed out knocking a gaudy looking lamp from the desk. When it shattered her desperate fingers groped through the wreckage and found a long thin piece that came to a point.
Perfect.
With trembling fingers and wide eyes she pulled back her bangs once more and attacked her forehead with the glass, slicing clean through the circle from the top left to the bottom right. Then the opposite side making a perfect X. Then down the center of the X. Then across.
By this point blood and tears were running down her face and dripping onto the vanity. She had to grope for tissues to wipe it from her face but the thin paper wasn't enough though and she grabbed for a shirt out of her wardrobe.
With her tools at hand she resumed her work while her breathing became ragged and her skin darkened with flush. A shine of sweat mingled with the tears and blood as evidence of the effort it was taking her to continue. When the pain became more then she could handle the glass fell from her fingers and she let out a pathetic whimpering cry.
Looking into the mirror she saw blood and fear. She was looking into the eyes of the monster Penny as blood gushed from a stomach wound. She'd learned how painful and deadly a stomach wound could be, but once she'd buried the knife in Penny the first time she couldn't stop herself from doing it again and again. By the time she'd stopped stabbing penny she was covered in the woman's blood.
The memory faded and Sandy realized she was looking at her own blood, not Penny's.
She's gone...she can't hurt anyone ever again.
She would take a shower, clean her fresh wounds and pull a hat on to hide it from others.
She didn't deserve their pity or worry after so many failures.
What: She's back from the arena and doesn't like what she sees
Where: District 12 common area.
When: After the arena
Warnings: TW: Self harm, child suffering, mentions of violence and death...all pretty standard hunger games.
The District 12 suite may have had plenty of residents but without Effie it seemed cold and empty.
Sandy had awoken to a clean room as she always did. Her paintings were removed from the walls and ceilings again.
Normally she would start painting right away, to get all the demons and nightmares out of her head. But today felt different. Today she rose and shuffled over to the mirror to see who would be looking back at her.
Pale and thin, the same way she'd arrived. Brushing back her bangs she saw the brand as clear as day. The Capitol logo, the perfect circle. A mark of ownership and weakness.
She hated it. It made her stomach twist with self loathing.
She brought her hands up and scratched at it leaving deep red marks through the middle. Something about the way it burned felt good to her. It felt like defiance. She scratched again, and again till the red grew darker and her forehead felt like fire.
She needed something more. Something that would really disfigure the symbol. Before she knew what she was doing her arm lashed out knocking a gaudy looking lamp from the desk. When it shattered her desperate fingers groped through the wreckage and found a long thin piece that came to a point.
Perfect.
With trembling fingers and wide eyes she pulled back her bangs once more and attacked her forehead with the glass, slicing clean through the circle from the top left to the bottom right. Then the opposite side making a perfect X. Then down the center of the X. Then across.
By this point blood and tears were running down her face and dripping onto the vanity. She had to grope for tissues to wipe it from her face but the thin paper wasn't enough though and she grabbed for a shirt out of her wardrobe.
With her tools at hand she resumed her work while her breathing became ragged and her skin darkened with flush. A shine of sweat mingled with the tears and blood as evidence of the effort it was taking her to continue. When the pain became more then she could handle the glass fell from her fingers and she let out a pathetic whimpering cry.
Looking into the mirror she saw blood and fear. She was looking into the eyes of the monster Penny as blood gushed from a stomach wound. She'd learned how painful and deadly a stomach wound could be, but once she'd buried the knife in Penny the first time she couldn't stop herself from doing it again and again. By the time she'd stopped stabbing penny she was covered in the woman's blood.
The memory faded and Sandy realized she was looking at her own blood, not Penny's.
She's gone...she can't hurt anyone ever again.
She would take a shower, clean her fresh wounds and pull a hat on to hide it from others.
She didn't deserve their pity or worry after so many failures.
no subject
He shakes his head, solemn and serious. "'Fraid motherfucking not. THERE'S GETTING CAREFUL AS TO NOT BE HURT AGAIN. There's keeping it all shut tight up until such things being to break. THERE'S MAKING TO SURVIVE OR JUST NOT DIE. But I ain't know nobody what don't know pain."
His words are all laced with unspoken apology.
"WAY I FIGURE, IT'S LIKE... you get your bones broke. SHIT HURTS. Don't make it hurt all less than as when you stub your motherfucking walk stubs though."
no subject
"I still love the weird way you talk. We just call them toes but I like walk stubs." She smiled gently and blew on the drink to take a sip. Her shoulders sunk gently as the familiar scent and flavor washed over her.
"So we're both weird, we're both hurting, and we're gonna be there for each other." she concluded leaning into him again.
"Like family is supposed to do."
no subject
Hearing someone making to say they like it? Well, that's a sort of special, that.
And she takes him all by surprise with call of family. But it's right, good, true. With the easing of her comes the easing of him. He leans a little into her, while keeping as her support.
"THAT'S RIGHT. Like family get's supposing to be doing."
Like real family.
no subject
"Meeting you guys is about the only thing I'll ever thank the Capitol for. I never had that many friends back home. And my parents weren't really around." She explained looking at her reflection in the tea.
"You guys make me feel wanted. You make dying not so bad."
no subject
"NEVER FEARED NO DEATH. But I feared other things. THINGS MADE WORTH IT." A pause follows, then, "Glad you're back, little sister."
/end?
"Glad to be back brother." She mumbled into his chest taking comfort in his warmth and scent.
He was a constant reminder that no matter how bad things got, the Capitol had given her this family.
And so to thank them for that she would help rip this place apart piece by piece so they could rebuild it into something better.