thecapitol | It's a symbol without meaning.

Entry tags:

It's a symbol without meaning.

Who: Sandy and you
What: She's back from the arena and doesn't like what she sees
Where: District 12 common area.
When: After the arena
Warnings: TW: Self harm, child suffering, mentions of violence and death...all pretty standard hunger games.

The District 12 suite may have had plenty of residents but without Effie it seemed cold and empty.

Sandy had awoken to a clean room as she always did. Her paintings were removed from the walls and ceilings again.

Normally she would start painting right away, to get all the demons and nightmares out of her head. But today felt different. Today she rose and shuffled over to the mirror to see who would be looking back at her.

Pale and thin, the same way she'd arrived. Brushing back her bangs she saw the brand as clear as day. The Capitol logo, the perfect circle. A mark of ownership and weakness.

She hated it. It made her stomach twist with self loathing.

She brought her hands up and scratched at it leaving deep red marks through the middle. Something about the way it burned felt good to her. It felt like defiance. She scratched again, and again till the red grew darker and her forehead felt like fire.

She needed something more. Something that would really disfigure the symbol. Before she knew what she was doing her arm lashed out knocking a gaudy looking lamp from the desk. When it shattered her desperate fingers groped through the wreckage and found a long thin piece that came to a point.

Perfect.

With trembling fingers and wide eyes she pulled back her bangs once more and attacked her forehead with the glass, slicing clean through the circle from the top left to the bottom right. Then the opposite side making a perfect X. Then down the center of the X. Then across.

By this point blood and tears were running down her face and dripping onto the vanity. She had to grope for tissues to wipe it from her face but the thin paper wasn't enough though and she grabbed for a shirt out of her wardrobe.

With her tools at hand she resumed her work while her breathing became ragged and her skin darkened with flush. A shine of sweat mingled with the tears and blood as evidence of the effort it was taking her to continue. When the pain became more then she could handle the glass fell from her fingers and she let out a pathetic whimpering cry.

Looking into the mirror she saw blood and fear. She was looking into the eyes of the monster Penny as blood gushed from a stomach wound. She'd learned how painful and deadly a stomach wound could be, but once she'd buried the knife in Penny the first time she couldn't stop herself from doing it again and again. By the time she'd stopped stabbing penny she was covered in the woman's blood.

The memory faded and Sandy realized she was looking at her own blood, not Penny's.

She's gone...she can't hurt anyone ever again.

She would take a shower, clean her fresh wounds and pull a hat on to hide it from others.

She didn't deserve their pity or worry after so many failures.

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She had to be back. Pruna had been as patient as she could - and despite how she seemed she was quite patient, she had staked out many sites for hours in her past, sitting perfectly still, waiting to kill. But she had seen loads of people who had died in the last few days and Sandy was still not back.

So she went to investigate and when she heard whimpering from Sandy's room she burst in, wishing she had a knife but ready to fight whoever was causing Sandy pain.

She blinked when she saw the blood and the glass, pausing because she couldn't fight Sandy, not to protect Sandy. It was all very confusing. "Sandy?"

Sandy gave a startled jump and looked to Pruna, caught in the act. The bloody glass slipped from her fingers to the vanity and she stammered.

"I-I...I just...I couldn't stand looking at it anymore." She babbled in the panicky voice one uses when caught doing something shameful and embarrassing. She was quite literally red handed.

"You should no be hurting yourself." Pruna's voice was quiet, still confused but she reached out for Sandy as if she feared the girl would run away from her like a frightened animal.

"Be coming with me, we will be cleaning it."

"O-ok." she agreed feeling foolish. Of course she shouldn't be harming herself but she just couldn't stand the look of that thing on her forehead and everything it stood for.

She gently took Pruna's hand to show she wasn't scared of her closest friend. "No one else is out there are they?" she didn't want Tony or Cinna or anyone else to see what a mess she'd made.

Pruna stared at her intently and nodded, squeezing her hand. "I do no be thinking so, I will be checking and then we will be sneaking, alright?"

She let go of Sandy's hand a moment to go towards the door and check that the path to the bathroom was free. "Okay be coming on."

Sandy took her hand and gripped it tight, the skin was still slick with sweat and blood.

Once they were safe in the confines of the bathroom Sandy automatically turned on the shower to fill the room with white noise to down out any microphones listening to them.

After that she promptly collapsed onto the toilet, head hanging in a defeated sort of way.

"I don't know what happened in the arena." she mumbled mostly working over the thoughts in her head. "I remember...I felt sick. I was really warm and thirsty, and my stomach was all twisted up. Then I saw-"

But no...she couldn't say that name. Not here...maybe never again. But especially not in this tower.

"A monster. The sharp toothed ones remember? I thought it was back for revenge so I tried to kill it again and then there was a loud noise and..."

A shuddering breath.

"...and I woke up here."

How much of her death Pruna had seen was a mystery for now.

Pruna concentrated on finding a cloth and wetting it, holding it to Sandy's head to stop the bleeding, pressing hard like she had learned. She listened to Sandy as she spoke, frowning. She had seen Sandy's death on the screens and she had seen the madness in Sandy's eyes.

"A stupid man did be killing you." She told her with a frown, "There did no be being any sharp toothed monsters there, just you and stupid people. But you did be attacking good, you did be being really brave."

Sandy's face fell as Pruna explained. Of course there had been no raptors there. Why would there be?

But why had she seen one then?

"Maybe he had powers..." She muttered "Who was he? How did he kill me?" she pressed and flinched as Pruna cleaned a particularly sensitive spot on her forehead.

"His name do be being Tom and he did be killing you with a gun. I do no be thinking he had powers but something did be going on. A lot of people did be being wild eyed mad like you."

There was a first aid kit in the cupboard, Pruna knew because of the times she had gotten scraped limbs and cut knuckles from training. She found it and grabbed a gauze pad and some tape. They had looked after each others wounds enough in the arena- and sometimes, back before they were traitors they had had first aid kits, for her to be used to the modern appliances. But this didn't remind her of that, instead it reminded her of being back in Gauig, helping her sister whilst hiding from their guardians so they would never know of the failure that caused injury.

Alot of people were losing it near the end? Did that mean it was a trick of the Capitol? She wasn't going insane?

In a strange sort of way Sandy was comforted by these little moments of medical aid. It wasn't just that it took away the stinging of flesh but it made her realize there was still someone she could open up to completely. Someone who cared about her even with how many times she'd messed up.

Pruna always understood. Pruna was loyal.

She'd lost Pruna once, she couldn't lose her again.

"I'm glad you came back." she blurted out cheeks getting red.

Pruna had finished taping down the bandage and squeezed Sandy's hand. "I do be being glad you did be coming back too." She put the first aid kit away and then gestured to Sandy. "Be coming on, I do be having something else."

Sandy rose to her feet obediently and took Pruna's hand, once more unwilling to let Pruna get too far ahead of her.

Hopefully whatever else Pruna had was a good distraction from the stinging throbbing in her forehead and the aching in her heart.

Pruna squeezed her hand again, checking the corridor once more for pesky watchers before taking Sandy to her room and rummaging through one of her drawers.

Finally she found what she wanted, a soft hat that fell down to the eyes, green with pink flowers. She had two of them, because she had liked them so much. Blue with yellow flowers. She held them out. "Which one do you be wanting?"

Sandy's eyes were wide as they always got when Pruna caught her by surprise. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips and she gently took the green one tugging it onto her head.

"How does this one look?"

She felt a fresh warmth spreading from her chest that was somehow calming the storm that had been twisting about inside her for weeks.

"It do be looking cool." She grinned and put the blue one on her own head, tugging it low. "Now we do be matching."

And people were less likely to question the hat, people were used to Pruna doing weird things.

Sandy's small smile was like a flicker of sunlight through heavy curtains. She leaned forward pressing her forehead to Pruna's.

"You're the best thing that this world has given me." she mumbled sheepishly.

Pruna blinked, not quite used to people thinking she was something good. She wasn't sure they were supposed to, she was meant to spread discord and pain, she wasn't meant to be anyone's best thing. She just blinked, watching Sandy from where she stood, forehead pressed to hers.

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It's a symbol without meaning.

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Another good fade to black moment?

Yup!