thecapitol | [open] CATCH ALL

The first thing Dave can think, despite the fact that his hand hurts, is that it felt good. Ridiculously good. Look at his stupid nerd glasses on the floor. He's shaking off the adrenaline with a little side step, but he probably should have considered the fact that Eridan is hostile and he's a massive hypocrite for hitting him first.

The snarling earns him a raised brow, but Dave isn't about to run off just because a guy is looking aggressive. Considering he threw the first punch, anyway. He lets Eridan grab him, if only so he can glare right back at him through his shades.

To that, he has no reply for the moment, he's just going to reach out and start pushing and touching at Eridan simply because he's so offended by a hand touching him.

"I'm just your average Joe, that's who. You got me thinking I'm not the only one who'll ever do that to you here, either." He's hissing right back. "Don't act like you're immune to getting fucked over, cuz this place will fucking shit on you every goddamn time."

Tony hears the commotion behind him and turning to look can see Dave having his shirt manhandled by someone he can't get a good look at from where he's standing. As he approaches he hears Dave call himself 'average Joe' and boy does it get an eyeroll.

"Hey, Rogers. Standing up for justice again?" He says clearly enough to be heard as he approaches the both of them, his tone casual and easy as if it doesn't look like a fight is seconds from happening all over the nicely polished floor. That's when he get's a look at the other kid, he stares for a second and looks at Dave.

"Are you fighting with a goat?"

Eridan's about ready to slug Dave in the mouth with his ring-covered fist, not wanting to hear another word from Dave's mouth. Only wanting to stuff it with punch after punch, because how dare he!! Why you gotta harsh his buzz like that, Dave?

His fangs are bared, and he's pissed. It certainly doesn't help with Dave's pushing and touching him, that just makes him growl with fury, his fist drawn back, ready to strike--

--But then they're joined by another, and Eridan's scowl focuses on the intruder to their little game of fisticuffs. His fist is still reeled back as he stares at Tony, murder in his eyes. He doesn't know who this Rogers fellow is, and he hardly cares, but with being called a goat, Eridan seethes.

"Fuck off you hairy, landcrawlin', sack a shit, this don't inwolwe you, so run along before I smear the both a your across the floor like the pieces a scum you are!"

How friendly.

There's an instinctive desire to fight in Dave, and though he's seen those rings and he knows damn well they're going to mess his face up bad, he's confident he could walk off with a handful of shark teeth. However, he's rapidly sobering to the fact that this is both a dangerous and stupid idea with the power rangers still probably lurking around the tower. If it gets rough enough, he can't say for sure they won't be joining his friends in jail but maybe that's not such a bad thing.

He's glaring daggers through his shades at Eridan, daring him to try something with his almost perfectly stone faced look. The eyebrows make it hard to seem entirely impassive, but they're raising in surprise as the familiar voice brings him back to earth. His eyes widen some and he has the look of someone who knows they've been caught doing something stupid.

"Power rangers." Hypocritical as it probably seems, he's muttering that in a low voice at Eridan before he shrugs his shoulder at Tony. "I got this covered." No, no he doesn't.

Edited 2014-08-04 15:38 (UTC)

"And people call me full of myself. Smear? Really? Do you even have the patience to cream a person?"

He puts his hands in his pockets. Before giving Dave a glance, giving him a look to suggest he knows exactly how well covered Dave has it.

"Normally, sure. Not my problem, but when we just had a big peacekeeper raid with their nice heavy batons and heavy looking books. Making yourself something to look at is probably painting a target on yourself." He takes a breath and looks between them again before looking back at the grayer of the two teens. "Now hands off the kid, and get back to your paddock."

Edited 2014-08-05 06:49 (UTC)

Now it was Steve's turn to notice the commotion and when he looks over to see two teenagers and Stark, well, he knows it's time for him to intervene. Babysitting was becoming his full time job at this point.

"Alright you three, break it up," as he says it, he's behind Dave and picking him up from under his arms with little to no effort. The kid is lighter than a sack of flour. He hauling him away from the other boy and depositing him to the side so that Steve's now between them.

"And no padlocks," he gives Stark the most incredulous look. Because seriously? He has no idea anything leading up that, but he caught that part.

Oh this is too much.

First there's Dave thinking he has the right to punch him - touch him at all for that matter. Then there's the hairy animal who's offered nothing but the verbal equivalent to prodding a pissed off sea dweller with a pointy stick. Then there's this blond asshole who thinks he has the bloody right to snatch Dave from his grasp while he's focused on the smartass.

His head whips to Steve as he carries Dave away, putting himself between them. Go figure. He's being ganged up on, but he expects as much from lowly landdwelling rubbish that can't protect themselves. How pathetic.

"Listen here you worthless homos, I ain't all interested in some dumb fuckin' game a keep-away. I was giwin' that asshole ower there," a gesture in Dave's direction, "his just desserts for assaultin' one a my standin', an' if you don't want to follow the same fate he'll be receiwin', stand aside."

Does he know what 'homo' means? No. No he doesn't. Dave might have, maybe, possibly, told him a little white lie.

Edited 2014-08-05 16:38 (UTC)

This is too much, honestly. Dave felt stupid when Eridan grabbed him by the collar, but he also felt vilified and excited. He'd been caught up in the adrenaline until Tony wandered over and started nagging. Now? Now he's being hoisted away by Steve of all people and he could not feel more like an asshole at this point in time.

He frowns around Steve at Eridan, feeling like a kid with an overprotective mother and a blindingly useless father, who he will ort of shuffle toward so as not to feel like Steve is a meat shield.

But then. Eridan lets that word slip and Dave actually needs to cover his mouth with both of his hands to stop from sputtering into a laugh right then and there. So, when Eridan gestures at him accusingly, he's just standing between Eridan struggling so hard not to laugh. He just called Captain America a homo and Dave is entirely responsible. He's just going to give Tony the most meaningful look he can before dropping his hands and looking back at Eridan.

"Holy shit, you are frigging insane." He just shakes his head. "If you didn't have such a stupid look on your face I wouldn't have had to forcibly remove it. Shoulda heeded my warning, yo."

Edited 2014-08-05 17:49 (UTC)

What ever fight was going on between the two boys, Tony could honestly not care. He had only come over in the first place to make sure Dave wasn't doing anything to catch Peacekeeper eyes if they just happened to come back after the raid to, stir up more feelings.

But now. Now it was totally worth coming over here. Tony's eyebrows slowly raised as 'homo' was uttered, Dave wasn't the only one looking amused at the situation, as unfriendly as the word is, with how the kid spoke with more 'w's than get used in most Welsh townships, makes it more than a little hilarious.

Not that he was going to actually laugh right now, that will be for later when he can tease Steve when no one's around. He gets a hold of his face to get it back to something more neutral and glances at Steve noticing Dave's look on the way.

"Maybe we should just let the kid deal with him for that one? Also, I said Paddock, not padlock."

Because Tony has the best priorities sometimes.

Later, Steve knows he'll be finding this all rather funny, because even he sees how ridiculous this situation is, but right now he's too exasperated by it.

This kid has one hell of a mouth on him and an ego to accompany it. So, even when he learns that Dave was the one to hit first, he really can't blame him. If Steve was younger and smaller, he probably would have told the kid to shut his mouth. It was kids like these that got Steve in so many fist fights as a kid.

Being called a homo doesn't bother him in the slightest, what bothers him is this kid using a rude word in a derogatory way. All it earns the kid is one of Steve's patented unimpressed, yet judgmental faces.

"You can try, kid, but all you're gonna do is make yourself look like a fool," with that he shifts his attention away from the grey kid and on to Stark, who gets a much more neutral expression.

"If the peacekeepers weren't so keyed up, I'd agree, but I'd rather they didn't get tossed in jail with the rest," he might be saying that more for the kid's benefit.

Edited 2014-08-06 09:05 (UTC)

Eridan stares at all of them, his glare oscillating between them as if he can't figure out who he's more pissed at. He's prone to anger naturally, what with being a royal blood and having violent urges, but this is not helping anything at all! When Dave speaks, he focuses on him, sneering in reply, "Ain't your place to dictate what face I'm wearin', sludgeblood."

However, Tony speaks up, and seems to be the only sensible one, despite being hairy. He really just couldn't get over that, he has weird hair on his face and it's weird and distracting! But letting him and Dave settle things themselves is exactly what he wants, these two older humans had no right to act like they had any right auspisticizing like this. He doubts they even realize that's how this is coming across, what with being humans, but this is all very forward!

His glaring turns to Steve when he challenges him, saying he'll look like a fool. Makes him want to prove otherwise, seriously, the amount of disrespect being hashed his way was nauseating.

"Peacekeepers?" He asks, finally breaking his glare in favor of a more curious look, "You mean the power rangers?" Dave really works fast with misinformation, that's for sure.

"You needn't worry yourselwes with me, I ain't gonna be bloody touched by those jokes in white. But your concern is well placed in that idiot who thinks he can touch royalty. If he makes a habit a assaultin' those who ain't deserwin' of it, then he'll be hauled off before you know it. Or, at the wery least, used as a fuckin' mop by his betters." He says it all with obvious derision, puffing himself up a bit as his arms cross over his chest, his shoulders squared as if that'll make this 5'4 alien any more frightening. It doesn't.

"I will deal with him where power rangers aren't gonna breathe down my throat when I punch him in the ego." He rolls his eyes behind his shades, stepping forward a little but not so much as to face the embarrassment that would be getting herded backward by Captain America.

Instead, he's going to marvel at the joy of Eridan just flipping his shit relentlessly at an impressed wall of muscled dorito. He folds his arms over his chest and raises a brow to stare long and hard at the poor troll, shaking his head as he raises his voice again.

"Listen, Cap'n Crunch, starting an all out brawl in the commons isn't gonna do us any favours at this rate. You wanna get me back? You're gonna have to wait until your ass finds me in the Arena." He's pointedly pretending Cap and Tony aren't here for the moment to protect his ego, but the fact is he wouldn't have been able to calm down to this point without their intervention. "Are those terms agreeable, your highness?"

At the mention of Royalty, Tony raises an eyebrow of curious intent at the little horned boy. Is he really trying to imply he's the royalty? Seriously? His incredulous musing gave time for Dave to throw his gauntlet down, and if Tony was the kind of person to comment on such things he would have said it was a fairly clever and mature (For this place) plan.

Shifting his weight, giving a glance at both Steve and Dave as he does, part of his need to fidget over any real need to look at them before focusing back on Eridan. Despite what most people think, there are occasions then Tony knows to keep quiet.

Sometimes.

Steve knows this kid is going to get a seriously rude awakening one day, especially when he learns that being royalty won't do him any good. Well, other than to probably piss people off when he talks down to them like that. He can think of a handful that won't take kindly to that.

Dave is then issuing a challenge, saying to move the fight to the arena, and - well, Steve isn't going to stop him. He's not fond of the idea, but boys will be boys and he's not about to stop Dave from possibly knocking sense into this kid.

So, Steve just stays quiet, looking at Stark for a second, to see the other man seems to be doing the same.

Eridan's silent as the others are when Dave issues his challenge, letting the insults and stupid nicknames roll off him like water. He puffs up a bit, continuing his glare at Dave, and perhaps the fact Dave's right pisses him off all the more. However, the challenge issued, the set place for it to happen being the arena... makes it so solid, almost like a date, and that calms Eridan a bit.

"I suppose," he replies curtly, trying to seem far less excited at the prospect than he really is. "Till then, an' you two-" he says as he looks between Steve and Tony, "you best stay outta this, or I'll be sure to leawe you to rot in a pile a your own putrid blood."

As he finishes that threat (finding it a good place to end this whole thing), he's turning, whirling his cape behind him like some royal bad-ass, but honestly he just looks ridiculous. Even more so when he only gets about ten or so feet away and he realizes his glasses are still on the floor over yonder.

There's an obvious halt in his movements, and he has an internal struggle over if he should just leave them and come back later for the sake of his amazing and dramatic exit, because if he goes back it's going to be ruined... but on the other hand, he definitely needs those to see.

Fuck it.

He pivots on his heel, marches over to his glasses, not even looking to Dave, Tony, or Steve, snatches them up, puts them on his face, and with a derisive hmph, he marches on out again.

Smooth.

If there were ever any real concern for his safety from that exchange, it dissipates almost instantly the moment Eridan pivots and marches back. Dave had been riding the wave of adrenaline and relief, he'd even let out faint huff when the troll made his exit. Watching him return? Well. It was awkward for everyone involved, most of all Eridan.

Dave glances from Tony to Steve to Eridan and then back to the two men when he leaves again. He's pretty much absolutely lost for words, which is fucking phenomenal considering who he is. So with it all aside and nothing left to say and no desire to explain, he takes a step backward in the opposite direction of Eridan.

"Anyway, later." He announces almost out of nowhere as he pulls away, hoping that neither Tony nor Steve feel the need to give him a talking to.

After Eridan leaves, and them comes back to pick up his glasses before trying to attempt to still look cool. Tony just knits his eyebrows as he mutters.

"Well, now I've seen a reality that involves Hammer being a goat with speech problems."

He sounds like he isn't too sure what to make of that. But his face unwinds itself as he turns to Dave.

"So... 'Homo's'?"

After all, considering Dave's reaction to the word when Eridan said it he has a feeling that Dave knows at least some of a story there. And of course he's completely ignoring Dave's attempts to get away.

Steve has to work to control his face when Eridan ruins his exit by having to turn around to get his glasses. He won't admit how much he wants to chuckle at the poor kid's expense. Might not be his kind of person, be he's not about to be cruel. Let the kid have some level of dignity he supposes.

When Stark questions Dave, he gives him a small look of approval, because he was about to do the same. He turns his attention to Dave and adds with a cocked eyebrow, "Power Rangers?"

Dang. He should have known it wouldn't be that easy to just walk off, he'd only hoped Eridan's inelegant and awkward exit from the situation would leave everyone with so much more important things to consider.

Instead, somehow, he's come to a point in his life where he's being mentored- fathered even- by two of the most influential members of the Avengers. Should he be proud? Probably not. Is he? A little. He doesn't much care for it either way, so he just shrugs like he has no idea what the big deal is.

"I might have given him some alternative examples for words like platonic acquaintances and peacekeepers. Guy gets in my grill tighter than a stray sausage." And now he's going to glance between the two of them with a very small smirk forming. "I'm glad this could bring us all together, though. The odd couple vibe is super appreciated, really fills the sad orphan vibe in my life to completion. Should I call you both dad or would we like to designate a mom?"

"And you went with homo and Power rangers?"

There's a blank face that Tony brings to this situation, looking around at the crowd.

"Well the outfits make them look more like putties."

He wishes he could be ashamed of the fact that there was a point in his life as a grown up man that he had seen Power Rangers. The fact was at one point there was advertising for it everywhere so Tony got curious and watched a season.

He's still not too sure what to make of it.

He was about to move on to make a comment on why it is Dave is on teasing terms with some farmyard mutation project, but gets far too distracted by the following comment.

The comment of course just gets a sigh and Tony rubbing at his face. "You know that neither of us are slobs, right?" He knows that Dave is really trying to get on their 'coupley' case to annoy them, and Tony's choosing to ignore it by correcting how Dave uses the odd couple.

This conversation is already beyond ridiculous. Sure, he has no idea what a Power Ranger or a Putty is, but it doesn't matter, at this point it just doesn't matter. Stark isn't helping and Dave is now trying to stir up shit to change the subject on to them and their imagined relationship. Well, other universe one, but he and Dave already discussed this, so Steve sees this for what it is. And Stark flat out ignoring it, that only feeds into one of the two reactions he's sure Dave is after.

Still, if Dave wants to play this game, Steve can play too. People tend to underestimate how much of a troublemaker he used to be.

"Dave," he gives him a scolding look, "homo isn't a good word to throw around, you need to fix that." Otherwise it was a good prank. When he continues, he adopts a more motherly quality to his voice, "Now, your father isn't in the mood for your games, we've already talked about it anyway, so go on," Steve moves forward and gives him a kiss on the crown of his head. "Off you go, I'll be up to tuck you in later."

Steve steps back again and if he weren't smirking, he'd look like he hadn't just done anything weird. You only have yourself to blame for this one, Dave.

"I like to start with the simple things and work my way up. It's hard to say how much contact trolls have even had with humans. I mean, when they first started hassling me they thought I was a girl and knew approximately fuck all beyond my chat client address." He spreads his hands in a shrug. "The original plan was to mess with him for being an uppity prick, but I don't take kindly to people smiling in my vicinity of dire fuckery."

That's about as intimately explanatory as he's willing to get, because he's waiting for his own little troll seeds to be sown and for them to inevitably get distracted or brush him off and give him an out. When Tony chooses to nitpick he almost thinks he's in the clear, but Steve is the dark horse of trolling and he swoops in to take the stage like a magnificent swan.

A brow twitches in surprise and he opens his mouth to fight that off with what he hopes is ease, but he freezes in place when Captain Fucking America leans in to plant a kiss right on his peasant head. It's nigh impossible not to look visibly surprised at that, but what's worse is that he can feel his cheeks go pink as he resists the urge to sputter.

Instead? He's going to bring his hands up to his face and groan loudly into them, like he heard the world's worst dad joke. When the sound fades, he drops his hands to his sides and looks between them. "Backed my ass right into that one, didn't I?" He might sound a little defeated. "Watch me take you up on that offer though." Yeah, so cool. He's turning on his heel and walking away before his cheeks can get any pinker.

Edited 2014-09-08 08:20 (UTC)

The explanation for the most part sat well enough with Tony, of course he didn't realise that the kid the just saw stumble away was a troll, just that Dave was calling him one and considering he was talking about the internet, that's just the kind of troll he was thinking of.

If only he knew how it was all technically the same thing.

Tony starts to give a groan of his own when Steve starts playing into Dave's whole mom dad thing. But then he loses his ability to finish the noise. If anything the noise only made him sound like an annoyed father. But seeing Steve lean in and kiss Dave on the head while sending him off to bed trips a switch in Tony's brain.
Momentarily unable to think for two reasons:

One: Steve utterly outplayed Dave on this one. Apart from the odd smart ass quip, Tony had no idea the guy had it in him.
Two: Dave's face was almost matching the Red Tony uses to paint his armor.

He doesn't even have it in him to pick on the kid as he scampers away, because anything he could add just would pale in comparison. Once he's disappeared into the crowd Tony just stares at Steve a mixture of awe and respect. And then after a moment.

"I knew there's a reason I married you." he smirks, now that his brain has finally caught up with everything.

Steve watches Dave run away with the most self satisfied grin. One that says he just won a prize by making the kid blush so deeply with embarrassment. The groans from both Dave and Stark don't even phase him, not when he did such an excellent job out playing the kid.

The grin becomes more of a smirk as he looks at Stark, eyebrows going up in an amused fashion at the words. Given the fact that the man seemed rather speechless for a moment there gives Steve even more reasons to feel like he won a prize. Sometimes he forget that his reputation doesn't really match up to the kid from Brooklyn that he still very much is.

"About time you remembered, Darling," there's a faint chuckle in the back of his voice. "Wait 'til he learns I actually intend to tuck him into bed tonight."

Tony chuffs a laugh and shakes his head at Steve.

"This is the moment where I make sure not to underestimate you again, I guess?"

Really, this was the Steve that had been in the stories Tony grew up on, not the straight backed to business Captian America, but the wise ass that Howard would tell about when Tony was still only rebuilding other peoples designs. Over the years there had been some forgetting as Tony had gotten old enough to find Captain America comics while in boarding school and history lessons also got in the way which only served to colour Tony's memories when he finally met Steve.

But it was good to know that his Dad was at least telling him the right stories growing up, shame it took seeing the paragon of 'The American Way' embarrass the hell out of a teenager for him to remember.

"If you don't get a photo of that, there will be judging."

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aboveangrybees - 2014-11-19 05:20 (UTC) - Expand

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I never got a notif for this, i'm sorry guys

No problem!

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