Mariko Shinobu (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
arrhenphobia) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thecapitol2014-07-08 02:05 pm
arrhenphobia) wrote in thecapitol2014-07-08 02:05 pm
Entry tags:
bottle your tears
Who| Mariko and everyone out there!
What| Mariko trying to keep herself together.
Where| the ever so popular roof of tribute center
When| right after Cruentus and Penny's post
Warnings/Notes| Mentions of self-starvation but that's about it, for now.
It hadn't taken a long time from her to learn just what was the true nature of the Capitol. She had learned about the avoxes, the chip inside her, the fate of district 3 and the horrifying power that these people had over her and other tributes. She had been watching television at the district 11 suite, when that shocking video had been posted online. After seeing it, Mariko had felt something heavy on her chest suffocating her. She had quickly left the suite to find some place safe, a place where she could breathe again.
So now Mariko stood on the roof top and stared at the view in front of her with a blank expression. Devastated didn't even begin to describe what she was feeling now. The lack of self-determination and control made her feel so frustrated, sad, angry and simply just upset. The food didn't hold much appeal to her anymore, not after what she had witnessed in the last arena, causing her to lose some weight. She missed her parents and her only friend Nanako and her first love Kaoru. All those important people to her who she would never see again. She wouldn't be able to speak Japanese ever again. She would have loved to speak English and French to people here, after all she had put lot of effort to her studies back at home! But now it all seemed pointless.
She looked down at her colorless hands and bit down on her lower lip. She hadn't been able to find nail polish of the right color on her own and it didn't feel right to ask favors from avoxes. Even the beautiful dark red dress she was wearing now didn't feel right-- it wasn't the dress she had chosen for herself but a dress that someone else had wanted her to wear.
Mariko felt like she was never going to feel happy again. It was like this world had robbed it away from her along with the other things. She wanted to cry so badly, but didn't want to give anyone who might be watching her that satisfaction (she had cried enough while being out in the arena).
Just when she felt like she would explode from all these feelings storming inside her, she closed her eyes, clenched her fists and began to scream.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" She screamed as loud as she could, only stopping for a brief moment to catch air before starting again.
What| Mariko trying to keep herself together.
Where| the ever so popular roof of tribute center
When| right after Cruentus and Penny's post
Warnings/Notes| Mentions of self-starvation but that's about it, for now.
It hadn't taken a long time from her to learn just what was the true nature of the Capitol. She had learned about the avoxes, the chip inside her, the fate of district 3 and the horrifying power that these people had over her and other tributes. She had been watching television at the district 11 suite, when that shocking video had been posted online. After seeing it, Mariko had felt something heavy on her chest suffocating her. She had quickly left the suite to find some place safe, a place where she could breathe again.
So now Mariko stood on the roof top and stared at the view in front of her with a blank expression. Devastated didn't even begin to describe what she was feeling now. The lack of self-determination and control made her feel so frustrated, sad, angry and simply just upset. The food didn't hold much appeal to her anymore, not after what she had witnessed in the last arena, causing her to lose some weight. She missed her parents and her only friend Nanako and her first love Kaoru. All those important people to her who she would never see again. She wouldn't be able to speak Japanese ever again. She would have loved to speak English and French to people here, after all she had put lot of effort to her studies back at home! But now it all seemed pointless.
She looked down at her colorless hands and bit down on her lower lip. She hadn't been able to find nail polish of the right color on her own and it didn't feel right to ask favors from avoxes. Even the beautiful dark red dress she was wearing now didn't feel right-- it wasn't the dress she had chosen for herself but a dress that someone else had wanted her to wear.
Mariko felt like she was never going to feel happy again. It was like this world had robbed it away from her along with the other things. She wanted to cry so badly, but didn't want to give anyone who might be watching her that satisfaction (she had cried enough while being out in the arena).
Just when she felt like she would explode from all these feelings storming inside her, she closed her eyes, clenched her fists and began to scream.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" She screamed as loud as she could, only stopping for a brief moment to catch air before starting again.
no subject
Tony just relaxes into his chair more.
"Well if it's so private, you could always keep this whole male aggression thing to yourself, and I'm not going to ask about what caused it."
He knows saying that will probably set her off again but really, it's the best way to get him to not push the topic.