Mariko Shinobu (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
arrhenphobia) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thecapitol2014-07-08 02:05 pm
arrhenphobia) wrote in thecapitol2014-07-08 02:05 pm
Entry tags:
bottle your tears
Who| Mariko and everyone out there!
What| Mariko trying to keep herself together.
Where| the ever so popular roof of tribute center
When| right after Cruentus and Penny's post
Warnings/Notes| Mentions of self-starvation but that's about it, for now.
It hadn't taken a long time from her to learn just what was the true nature of the Capitol. She had learned about the avoxes, the chip inside her, the fate of district 3 and the horrifying power that these people had over her and other tributes. She had been watching television at the district 11 suite, when that shocking video had been posted online. After seeing it, Mariko had felt something heavy on her chest suffocating her. She had quickly left the suite to find some place safe, a place where she could breathe again.
So now Mariko stood on the roof top and stared at the view in front of her with a blank expression. Devastated didn't even begin to describe what she was feeling now. The lack of self-determination and control made her feel so frustrated, sad, angry and simply just upset. The food didn't hold much appeal to her anymore, not after what she had witnessed in the last arena, causing her to lose some weight. She missed her parents and her only friend Nanako and her first love Kaoru. All those important people to her who she would never see again. She wouldn't be able to speak Japanese ever again. She would have loved to speak English and French to people here, after all she had put lot of effort to her studies back at home! But now it all seemed pointless.
She looked down at her colorless hands and bit down on her lower lip. She hadn't been able to find nail polish of the right color on her own and it didn't feel right to ask favors from avoxes. Even the beautiful dark red dress she was wearing now didn't feel right-- it wasn't the dress she had chosen for herself but a dress that someone else had wanted her to wear.
Mariko felt like she was never going to feel happy again. It was like this world had robbed it away from her along with the other things. She wanted to cry so badly, but didn't want to give anyone who might be watching her that satisfaction (she had cried enough while being out in the arena).
Just when she felt like she would explode from all these feelings storming inside her, she closed her eyes, clenched her fists and began to scream.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" She screamed as loud as she could, only stopping for a brief moment to catch air before starting again.
What| Mariko trying to keep herself together.
Where| the ever so popular roof of tribute center
When| right after Cruentus and Penny's post
Warnings/Notes| Mentions of self-starvation but that's about it, for now.
It hadn't taken a long time from her to learn just what was the true nature of the Capitol. She had learned about the avoxes, the chip inside her, the fate of district 3 and the horrifying power that these people had over her and other tributes. She had been watching television at the district 11 suite, when that shocking video had been posted online. After seeing it, Mariko had felt something heavy on her chest suffocating her. She had quickly left the suite to find some place safe, a place where she could breathe again.
So now Mariko stood on the roof top and stared at the view in front of her with a blank expression. Devastated didn't even begin to describe what she was feeling now. The lack of self-determination and control made her feel so frustrated, sad, angry and simply just upset. The food didn't hold much appeal to her anymore, not after what she had witnessed in the last arena, causing her to lose some weight. She missed her parents and her only friend Nanako and her first love Kaoru. All those important people to her who she would never see again. She wouldn't be able to speak Japanese ever again. She would have loved to speak English and French to people here, after all she had put lot of effort to her studies back at home! But now it all seemed pointless.
She looked down at her colorless hands and bit down on her lower lip. She hadn't been able to find nail polish of the right color on her own and it didn't feel right to ask favors from avoxes. Even the beautiful dark red dress she was wearing now didn't feel right-- it wasn't the dress she had chosen for herself but a dress that someone else had wanted her to wear.
Mariko felt like she was never going to feel happy again. It was like this world had robbed it away from her along with the other things. She wanted to cry so badly, but didn't want to give anyone who might be watching her that satisfaction (she had cried enough while being out in the arena).
Just when she felt like she would explode from all these feelings storming inside her, she closed her eyes, clenched her fists and began to scream.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" She screamed as loud as she could, only stopping for a brief moment to catch air before starting again.
no subject
Eponine's mouth twisted into a scowl. "And only for fine ladies, of course, with Mamas who are good and darling, and whose Pas own factories and the like."
It wasn't fair, that this girl had had such opportunities, and still screamed over a dress. Eponine couldn't even have imagined such things.
"And here you sit with an alley cat from the slums , Miss. Ain't I just as fine company as your stupid princess?" Eponine chuckled bitterly.
no subject
"You don't even know what it's like. You must imagine that they'll just let you in if you have enough money! But it's really, really hard work!" Although, she would have been lying if she said that her father's wealth hadn't helped her to get selected. (Oh, but if Eponine were to find out what her father did to build that wealth, she wouldn't find Mariko as fine and innocent any more.)
"Every step I've taken. In my entire life! They've all been for Sorority! It's not easy. Everything that I've gone through and endured!" " Her lower lip had began to tremble as the tears of anger and frustration were falling down her cheeks once again.
"Sorority is my dream! It's something that every girl would die for!"
no subject
She sighed, and once more stowed away her comb, wrapping it in the flannel as if it were part of the crown jewels rather than a measly plastic comb. "Stop crying. You have nowt to cry about. Now you listen to me - you've had it all, yes? You're rich and you have nice dresses and food and a house and all you wish for - friends! And now you have nothing. Well, I have had that lesson too, and it is hard for a child. But you are an adult, and for you, it is stupid to carry on so. Should I tell you what I think? I know girls dying from no food and from overuse by their men and from knives to their throats and being thrown to the Seine. THAT is what they die for. Not a sorsity."
Eponine got up onto her knees, scooting round so she faced Mariko again. "And what have you endured, Miss?" Eponine put her hands on her hips, tiring of what she regarded as silly cries from a silly little girl. "Have you endured hunger so bad you faint in the street and the buildings waver in front of you and the very walls close in? Have you had a beating so hard you cannot walk proper the next day? Have you stood with your bare feet in the snow and not even a rag on your shoulders to warm you, begging for coins - promising hungry men anything for just a piece of bread, just one Franc because you can't go home until you have the money? That is proper things to cry about. It makes you a brat to cry for the rich things you lose."