[Closed] I'm sorry, so sorry...

[silberfuchs]

Who| Albert and Jessica
What| Albert apologizes for making his mentor look bad
Where| District 3 suites
When| Backdated to before the arena
Warnings/Notes| None


It's an uncommon thing for Albert to regret his actions. Generally he thinks his moves through before he makes them, examining possible outcomes in order to prevent himself from causing any unwanted drama or consequences. But you couldn't tell by examining his recent actions. He'd put everyone he cared about - an admittedly short list - everyone he'd had a passing conversation with, anyone he'd met at all in danger simply by speaking his mind and the worst bit is he should have known. He's done this fascist government thing before and it's no different than the Nazis or the Soviets or even Black Ghost; they'll go through others to get to you, come at you sideways with no care for anyone's well being because it's the way to corner a compassionate man.

And there'd been a secondary consequence. Jessica Wakefield, the girl who'd been nothing but kind and helpful to him as his mentor, he'd put her in a terrible position by speaking without thinking. He may not regret what he said, but he sure as hell can regret the unintended consequences.

Which is why he knocks on the door to her room softly, a small apology bouquet of white and yellow bellflowers clutched in his hand and hidden at the small of his back. He just hopes she'll accept them.

Comments

[confidentially]

"No one is immune. No one is safe." She thought back to her first days after her arena. In addition to the trauma of having to cope with the arena itself, she'd been thrown into the seedy underbelly of the Capitol almost immediately. No one liked to talk about what happened to victors who angered the Gamemakers or President Snow. No one had warned her about the ramifications that might come her way. She hadn't expected that she'd be bid on, but there it was.

"I used to numb myself a little more. You think if you drink it all away, you'll forget it all. Turns out that isn't true. It just makes you likelier to say what's really on your mind." And get you exiled for a year.

[silberfuchs]

"Alcohol only solves things if you need them to be flammable." He says it lightly, but that doesn't mean the gravity behind what she's saying escapes him. having dealt with politicians and the like off and on for the better part of a century, recognizing subtext is second nature.

"And they didn't like what was on your mind, I take it." Not a question. "I'm not so naive to think that all they did was send you away. Did they threaten your family? Your sister?"

[confidentially]

Jessica closed her eyes. She could feel her lip tremble a little, though she willed herself to be a good example and not cry. "All of those things. They did all of those things to me. But worse than that, they threatened people I didn't even know. They'd kill strangers and tell me it was my fault, if I didn't keep in line. I... didn't know people could be so evil, Albert. I didn't know people were capable of that."

[silberfuchs]

He's quiet for a long moment.

"I had a close friend who was a Shakespearean actor. He would often quote the Bard when the mood struck him. I heard him once, when we'd witnessed some of the worse things we dealt with, mutter a line under his breath and it struck me as being all too true. 'Hell is empty, and all the devils are here.'"

Albert shifts to sit up, leaning in towards Jessica to lay a hand on her knee.

"It's not your fault. The fault lies with the person who pulls the trigger, the person who decides to push and press and grind people under his heel. It may be a small comfort, but it's the truth. Don't let guilt keep you from believing that."

Especially when, ultimately, the result is the same. You can be as righteous as you like, but if someone is killed in your name, that guilt can lay heavy even if it wasn't your doing. Albert knows that well, too well, but sometimes it's the price of freedom.

[confidentially]

Of course it was her fault. It had to be. The guilt had been ingrained in her from the very earliest days of her victory. Anything that happened after that would be her responsibility. Whether men lived or died hinged on her willingness to submit to authority. And unfortunately, she was shit at that kinda thing.

"You're sweet to say that, and maybe I'll believe you someday. But until this world burns to the ground, I'm better off listening to what they say about me."

[silberfuchs]

"I'll convince you. Mark my words." He stands up then, already late for an appointment with his stylist that he's loathe to attend - why is she so enamored of fishnet shirts? - but he's glad to have had the chance to make things right with Jessica. Feeling sentimental, he plants a paternal kiss to the side of her hair before moving to take his leave.

"At the very least, go easy on yourself Fräulein."

[confidentially]

Jessica sat surprised by the show of affection, but not unhappy by it. She smiled, just slightly, as she watched Albert make for the door.

"Thanks for the flowers, Albert."