thecapitol | I bleed when I fall down

Who| Zoidberg, De, Kili, other interviewers
What| Zoidberg applied for Capitol citizenship and must be interviewed by other Tributes.
Where| A cozy little corner, tucked away in the Tribute Tower.
When| Presently.
Warnings/Notes| Each interviewer will get their own thread, starting with Kili & De. The others will get threads added as I get confirmation of their participation.

Zoidberg was excited by the prospect of becoming a naturalized Capitolite, mostly because this would allow him greater access to food as well as personal freedoms, which he could not enjoy while serving as a Tribute. Sure, the public adoration was nice, but the experience of hunger he'd had while struggling in the Arena left him longing for more. Besides, there were swanky parties to attend, with rich people and such. He wanted to be amongst a better class of people, and becoming a Capitol citizen would provide him with exactly that chance.

Of course, the process would be arduous. He'd have to explain himself to other Tributes, selected at random to assess his qualities. It was all very complicated, but he didn't mind too much. There would be light refreshments served at these interviews, and that was incentive enough for him to participate. And anyway, Zoidberg had nothing to hide. Not really.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

His first interview would be with Deanna Winchester, fellow Tribute from District One. He'd generally paid her no mind up until this point in time, but he was looking forward to their little visit. Perhaps he would even make a friend out of the deal!

This pleasant notion was in his mind as he settled in and helped himself to a snack while he waited to chat with her.

Zoidberg hadn't ever met Kili before, but he recognized the name from the television replays he'd seen. It would be exciting to meet a Middle-Earthican... or whatever it was that Kili was, just so long as Kili wasn't a scary and violent sort of alien.

And Kili had never met Zoidberg before but he'd been told to ask a series of questions. He's always up for talking to new people, though, which makes Kili all the more eager to do the interview. His brother would survive without him for a few hours, after all, despite Kili's growing distrust of the Capitol throughout this entire visit.

So, when he spots the description he'd been given, he makes his way over. Of course, Kili is nothing near a scary and violent sort of alien, despite his stylists attempts to make him look so. Not even the kohl smudged around his eyes or the two braids that pulled his hair back on one side could really outweigh his lack of height and the small smile that lit up his face.

"You must be Mister Zoidberg," he stated with a brighter smile followed by a deep bow. "Kili, at your service."

Zoidberg was especially pleased at his reception, preening happily as he welcomed Kili into his presence. "Ah, Mister Kili! Welcome! At long last I am making your acquaintance!"

He shoved some crackers into his mouth, frilly tentacles dangling grossly as he settled in to examine the dwarf. Already he had forgotten the purpose of their meeting.. "I'm Doctor Zoidberg! What seems to be the trouble?"

Dave Strider seemed like a nice young man, from what Zoidberg could tell of him. He had no reason to think otherwise, of course, so he sat in the interviewing area with a pleasant smile on his face, eager to meet the legendary Dave. There was no way in hell anything could possibly go wrong!

Dave has barely been here a month and he's already had some enriching experiences. He hasn't been to an Arena yet, but he's seen a mini one played out. He figures anyone who figures out how to avoid them deserves an honest chance at it. Maybe if he helps, he can figure out a way to get Terezi out. Maybe Karkat. He isn't really in the business of helping crabs, or so he thought.

He's never met Zoidberg, but he feels like a name like that sort of lends itself to being conspicuous. It sounds like some sort of cartoon villain name, and really he wouldn't be surprised to find someone like that here. So, when he enters the interviewing area, his reaction to seeing Zoidberg in the flesh.. shell.. thing, isn't much more than a raised brow.

"Zoidberg, right?" He slips into the seat in front of the mancrab, trying to look as professional as possible. "Are you ready to play Jeopardy, bro?"

"That's me!" He cries, clapping his claws together in anxious glee. So far, so good. Zoidberg hadn't frightened him away yet, which meant there was still the possibility of successfully achieving his freedom! Never mind that he was both distracted and confused by Dave's first round of questioning. "Truth be told, I've never played it before, but I love games in general! How do I win? What are the rules? Am I allowed to use a calculator?"

Dave is transfixed on the way Zoidberg claps his claws together, though it's hard to see that through his shades. It just sort of brings to light the fact that he is, in fact, a massive crab. A massive crab that he's here to help, even. He has a list of questions, but there's a few of his own he'd like to prioritise in the interview.

"The rules are there are no rules, you just have to talk slow enough so I can write this shit down." He digs into his pocket for a slightly wrinkled copy of the questions with a pen folded into it. "You don't need a calculator for this one, this ones a good one." And now he's going to lean back in his chair like his hosting a night time interview show, folding one leg over the other artfully. "Zoidberg, you're a giant crab. Wouldn't you say that being a giant crab is benefit in an arena? Why would you throw that away?"

"Well, it certainly isn't a detriment!" Zoidberg chuckles loudly, as if he's told some sort of hilarious joke that only he understands. Once he's calmed down, he stares unblinkingly at Dave and continues. "Mostly, I would like to eat on a more regular basis. I happen to love parties also. And the Capitol is overrun with both opportunities to eat and celebrate!"

"No, no. Of course not." He says as smoothly as he can, forcing a short, awkward laugh while he scrawls down a more eloquent answer that elaborates upon Zoidberg's appreciation for Capitol culture and his desire to be a part of that.

"Eating is about as legit an answer as I'll ever want to hear." He gives the lobster a sage nod, raising the piece of paper so he can escape the penetrating crab stare he's getting. "Alright, so if you don't feel your skills are best put to use in the Arena, where do you see yourself paying your dues to this illustrious slave mobile?"

Zoidberg waves his claw broadly, gesticulating his response. "Oh! This answer is a simple one, I tell you! You see, they don't call me Doctor Zoidberg for nothing! I'm a highly paid surgeon, I am! One that operates on people, even!"

"An operating surgeon, huh? That's like, the best kind of surgeon. I didn't have you pegged as some brainiac." He muses out loud as he scrawls out the best response he can articulate, but luckily it's not too hard to make being a doctor sound impressive.

"Alright, this one is the million dollar question. Do you feel that, even as a foreigner, you find Panem to be inherently better than your homeland?" God, these questions sound like they've been pulled right from Dystopian Governments for Dummies, it's hard not to say them with a heavily sarcastic tone.

"Oh, yes! You see, I am from Decapod Ten. It's a horrible, filthy planet, covered in muck with no freedoms at all! The food is terrible and the females won't even consider mating with you!" He shakes his head sadly, face tentacles drooping. "But here amongst the humans, I'm worshipped and adored! The people here love me, I tell you! Why would I ever want to leave?"

I bleed when I fall down

De

Kili

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sorry i'm so slow!

Dave

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