The Initiate Fraysong ♑ (Young GHB) (
carnagecarnival) wrote in
thecapitol2014-04-17 01:58 am
Entry tags:
When you were young you were the king of carrot flowers
Who| Initiate, Gamzee, Kurloz, and the old goat! OPEN TO ALL!!
What| Bad raps, bad food choices, bad habits, bad people, brooding. Come meet the Makaras!
Where| All over the tribute tower, the commons, D5, and outside
When| Thicker Than Blood week!
Warnings/Notes| Swears and slurs. Drug references. Past abuse/neglect implied. Atrocities done in the name of rap and miracles. Body modification / self harm / mouth stitching. Creepy awful people with Problems.
[Multiple prompts below in comments. Be sure to specify if you want one or another or all in prompts with multiple characters.]
[Multiple prompts below in comments. Be sure to specify if you want one or another or all in prompts with multiple characters.]

Re: [Initiate, Gamzee, Kurloz, The Seagoat] Late night outside the tribute tower
It's easier to walk around with them. It hurts to think that, honestly, but it is easier. There's less attention and less worry that those claws will find some purchase in the Capitolites. Less worry they'll be put down.
So it's easier to find him. Discreet questions led her out here--only to find a whole party of them there, three of them and a lusus. A matched set. She sees the other one there in bones and feathers, sees the Initiate like him. A smaller one up on top, perhaps his descendant. She has a moment to wonder what he is like before she catches their notice.
She's dressed in her green this time after all, a more usual leather and fur affair, not the decadent things they'd covered her in lately. Her hais is more tamed than usual, the front done in tiny braids, each with a little cat hairclip at the end. It's an odd contrast but the Disciple doesn't seem to notice. Or care that is.
"Initiate? I needed to talk to you." And what a strange thing that was to say.
Re: [Initiate, Gamzee, Kurloz, The Seagoat] Late night outside the tribute tower
He snaps his fingers and points at his alter points to the head of the beast, Kurloz is moving, somehow balancing even with his shoes and he takes Initiate's place by the horn. His Da ain't placated-- he's never been able to do such and he never will, but this is as close as he can manage. Gamzee mumbles, honks, and shifts, blinking bleary eyes open, before the Initiate pulls him further away from the water, to the middle of goat. He looks up at the Disciple then, and if it isn't impossible to tell with his make up, he looks tired.
He dives into the pool, disappearing beneath the water, until a second later, he's climbing up and out over the side. He shakes himself out, disguising a shudder, and he walks on over, dripping. Apparently, somehow, it wasn't enough to completely take the make up off. Just smear it the tiniest bit. He glances back at his alter and descendant-- and his Da-- just to be sure. Then he looks to her lusus, then to her and says, "Aight. SCHOOLFEED HIM."
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"Has she talked to you yet? She didn't mean to hurt you personally and don't you dare yell about her wanting to go back into the arenas. You and I both know we're trying to get our quadrants out before ourselves. Don't yell at her for going back in--in fact just don't yell at her."
Her hands are on her hips and she's never felt quite this protective of a troll besides Signless before. And there wasn't two other people just as protective here with her, it was just her and him. She felt the cat clips bounce against her arms.
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It becomes pretty quickly clear who she's talking about. The sister what all ran from him, what all he screamed at. What all he's wondered if she'll even want near him the fuck at all after all that.
And here's the Disciple in her stead.
He doesn't even get to answer her question before all she's telling him what he can't and can't do. He can't help it. He riles.
He does smile like his alter or his descendant. He smiles cruel. "Well ain't the just well and perfect, since all at what be moment forthwith we are, let's up see, ah yes! WE AIN'T MOTHERFUCKING TALKING UP AT ALL. Doing about as much yelling up in this wicked business as that fucker." He jabs a thumb at the space behind him, where Kurloz sits with the goat. He's doing what he does best, burying himself, and for once he knows it. "THE WICKED NOISE IS NIL."
And he's not miserable about that. It's for the better, it's for the motherfucking better. And if he tells himself that enough he'll believe it.
"If that's all what as you was wanting, then we're done here."
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"I can't believe we were ever red." She says, harsh for a moment, "Talk to her. She's afraid, you hurt her deeply. I know she hurt you and she's so afraid you won't talk to her again. That it's broken. Whatever you two have."
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And the fuck does that mean, whatever they two have?
"I GOT HER LIST DONE UP MADE STILL," He growls. "Rude intentions what all to cull they by tally I have not. HER PEOPLE ARE SAFE. She'll get a relief up and on proper as on that, he's sure, and then she can go at on her mirthless motherfucking way. A CAT SISTER CAN GET ALL CONCEDING THE HARSH NOISE HER OWN SELF AND THEN SHE'LL GET PROPER ELATION UP AND ON."
That's what all this was about. It must be. Thinking him to go back on his word.
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Her cheeks are flushed in her surrogate anger--how dare he be so rude to Terezi, who didn't understand what she did wrong. Who was scared he wouldn't accept her apology.
"And if you really want to know, Kankri told me we were close but he--" And she nods over the water at his other self, "--told me. Bowed to me and all these weird things..."
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"She won't look out after herself, Disciple, you know she won't," He says slow, enunciating. "TEREZI PYROPE DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORDS. Tezeri Pyrope kills a fucker what all incites her isolation, TEREZI PYROPE GETS ALL IN THE WAY OF ME WHEN I GOT INTENT TO HURT A FUCKER, Terezi Pyrope don't give tell of the name of they what all who near kill her because she don't want them harmed none, TEREZI PYROPE GIVES UP HER TOKENS FOR SOME UNCOUTH STRANGER AND DROWNS HERSELF, Terezi Pyrope who hates the cull up in most unrighteous despiting. HER DEATH IS NIGH, DISCIPLE. If all it were any goddamn other this wouldn't all be a thing but she put her intent whole up on it to the point where all the win shines repulsive. ONE OF THESE DAYS CAPITOL WILL GIFT HER SUCH ROWDY DESIRING AND IF YOU AIN'T HAD FOR REVELATION UP ON SUCH YOU GOT YOURSELF FOOLED TRUE. I ain't saying she can't fucking die if that's what all she wants. SHE WANTS AT TO THROW HER LIFE FUCKING AWAY, IT AIN'T MOTHERFUCKING MINE WHAT TO SAY NO. But she's got some damn nerve what all be of her if she's got thought of his ownself sitting through that execution idle. SHE WANTS AT TO DRAG ME ALONG FOR IT ALL, EVEN NOW, THAT'S WHY ALL YOU'RE HERE." He gestures at her as he speaks those words. He wonders what she means to Terezi. What Terezi means to her. He wonders if even with the care there, if it makes a difference. Or maybe they got it hashed to not mattering between them.
"Hate her?" He says. "NO. That ain't near it. IF I HATED HER AS SUCH I COULD LET THE DYING SONG ENGULF LIKE FLAME TO A HIVESTEM. But I can't do it. DO YOU GET ME? I can't do that thing where all you hang on only to lose them. THAT'S SOME MOTHERFUCKING MADNESS RIGHT ALL THERE. A madness that is like to up and be. ARE YOU ON OF A READYING FOR SUCH LURID TRAGICOMEDY? If she's gonna go I need to be the person what all can take that. BUT THE PERSON WHAT ALL CAN BE OF SUCH AIN'T THE PERSON SHE NOR ANYONE WANTS FOR. That ain't even the fucker I want all complete no more, aight, but the the moment, sister, the motherfucking moment where all it gets to be thought safe they will drag her out like the rug from under. I GOT HER AND HIM UP BETWEEN ME AND THAT. And if you dare lay judgement up on trying to get on preparation..." He holds her eyes right up until then. Then he drops them, turning his head away and shaking it.
"I REFUSE... to allow her Mirth forsaken claw to hold onto mine and ask of me the holding of hers... IF ALL WHAT SHE WANTS AT TO BE LED TO IS HER OWN MOTHERFUCKING NOOSE. I ain't think that's too much what to ask."
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She doesn't want to tell him that, not when it's fresh and uncertain and new, she doesn't want to spout pale bullshit about her at him that he doesn't need to or deserve to hear.
"She wants what you want. To get others out. To save your quadrants before yourself. To go back in to make sure everyone is okay and to help them--I do that every time I go back into the arena and I thought--maybe Signless had a chance this time, maybe I could get him to the end. Maybe we could collect all 12. Maybe I could get him out and then work on Terezi, Karkat, Nepeta, Psiionic--even if he doesn't want my help."
She shakes her head, "Maybe I get it because I understand what she wants. She didn't give it up to be led to her noose, she doesn't want to die. She just wants to help everyone else. Sure she's dumb as shit about it sometimes but she meant so well. I told her none of us want to be on the outside looking in, none of us want to watch our friends die again and again. Just--talk to her okay? She wants to apologize, I know it, she does. Just don't yell at her this time? I mean, I wasn't there, but I can assume you yelled. You do that when you get angry."
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"I AIN'T PROMISING NOTHING. I don't exactly go in intending these things so I will not allow myself to lie," He says, firm. "I WILL TALK TO HER IN MY TIME." It's fair thing to request and bah on anyone who disagrees. She said don't yell, after all.
"But I will tell you again what all I told her. SHE BROUGHT ME INTO THIS, NOT ME BRINGING 'ROUND HER. It was she who ignored my demands initial that she fuck off and it was her what made me stop asking such. SHE IS IMPORTANT TO ME. But if she refuses to mind a caring of her own, especially here, where all they look for such to drag the fuck down... I WILL NOT BE MADE TO LINGER BY SHE JUST SO I CAN WATCH HER DEATH. I will not be given false hope. YOU AND I SHOULD BOTH KNOW WELL BY NOW, ONE CAN'T SURVIVE AND STILL HAVE PEOPLE WHAT TO CALL ONE'S OWN. It's how Alternia worked and it is how things work here."
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"Take the time to calm, it's better for her anyways. If she comes to you before then, at least tell her you'll talk to her another time. She..." Disciple pauses, shakes her head and rolls what he says around in her head. Musing over it, how to respond.
"I know. Truly, I do? I don't want to see her die, watch her, but I won't give up the hope that I can't survive and have my people. Why was I brought here, in the end, if not for the second chances. If things are fate--I never thought they were, but if they are--then isn't it fate that I meet people I knew were dead or gone, people I couldn't have survived long enough to meet? People I would never have met? I don't think fate is that cruel, to give me these chances and make them all for naught. To torment me again by giving me things only to see them die."
And she admits aloud something she might never have to him, "Life was cruel enough to us, wasn't it? Why would it give us cruelty all over again. Second chances to find someone. Isn't that why you found Psiionic? I think this is a chance to change things. If death is permanent at home, isn't the impermanence of death a chance?"
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He wants to believe that. So badly he motherfucking wants to believe.
"TO MAKE FOOLS OF THOSE DELUSIDELUDED CAUGHT IN THE FALSEHOODS BARBED AND THINKING IT RIBBON? To punish for the act of sin and sins up and done? TO TEACH MOTHERFUCKING LESSON ELLUSIVE TO THE UNINGENIOUS OF THE WICKED WORD? He ain't the Messiahs two, he ain't motherfucking know sister, that ain't shit I can scry, I..." He runs a hand through his hair. He looks up, skyward.
"RIGHTNESS UP AND BE. A truth has been preached. ROWDY PERPLEXIONS GET WHIMSY SPUN OF HIM, FOGGING OCULARS, PUTTING NOISE UP IN THE CARTILAGE." He laughs unhappily. "He'll... try to talk to her. AIN'T NO GUARANTEE TO BE MADE UP ON SUCH FOR HOW ALL IT WILL GO, AIGHT? But he will make at for it to be done. NOT TO WASTE. Ain't going to waste this chance what all has been gotten for." He sighs, and doesn't look at her. "LIFE WAS MOTHERFUCKING CRUEL TO GODDAMN EVERYONE. For everyone a cruelty could be found. EITHER STRIVED FOR IT, WITH IT, AS HOW ALL EVER IT WAS WILLED. Or didn't up and have for it at all."
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"...It doesn't seem like we could help it. Cruelty was life on Alternia. Take all your chances to have something else." She doesn't mention the rest of what is spoken. He won't waste it and that's the important part. Talking more on it will just ruin it, she thinks.
"As long as we aren't at each others throats, I should go. Most calm we've been in a conversation since we started this whole game nonsense." She half smiles, aware that even mentioning this might ruin it, might make him go on guard again or her go on guard, so it's best to just press past it.
"I'll leave you to your menagerie of indigos over there."
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"WAIT," He holds a hand out, but he doesn't touch her. Just to show her to stop. "Did he... his alternate, did he--" He tries to find a different word. And fails. "--talk to a sister, hearsay spread as breaking light? FIND GRATUITY TO GIVE MENTION AND TALE TO THE TAILLESS CATSISTER? Motherfucker has for fondness of her alternate, and so wondering was of he..."
He can feel his alternate's eyes on him, from behind. Brother is probably listening close as he can. Maybe it won't be enough.
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"I don't...what do you mean? He told me--in his little gestures, that he was red for my other--my alternate. He used some sort of gestures before then. Like maybe that's how he and I--the other me--communicated? But I don't know what they meant." She mimics the most basic one, before she realizes that he can see and lets her hands fall, "But he didn't...gesture anything about the other me or anything more. Even asking just sort of got glossed over I guess? Just tried to play a game with me. Tried to touch the jewelry in my ears."
Which was odd in and of itself.
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"WAS PREACHED TO HE THAT SCREAM RANG LOUD AND TRUE SO THAT ALL IT BECAME HER LAST OF SOUND. Got assumption that be why all he..." He touches his mouth. Then drops his hand. "AIN'T NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING DONE POSSIBLE. WITH VOCALS OF HIS OWN EVEN HE COULD IMAGINE NO SUCH THING.
" Which should be explanation enough for why he wonders. He could be loud, yes. But not deafening. That didn't happen natural. And it wasn't as if he'd always been loud.
He shakes his head. "From he there will be no thing pried easy, he knows. AND TRUE SO AS HE HAS PRIED NEAR NOTHING. Wondered as if maybe he told you... anything up at all."
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Her hands raise to her ears as she tries to imagine a sound so piercing and overwhelming as to render her deaf. She can't. It's impossible, she thinks, especially to imagine it coming from that indigo across the water.
"Wait--he did it because he deafened me? Or--the other me." Time is confusing, past lives more so. She drops her hands, shakes her head, disbelief.
"No--No offense but that doesn't sound like something you would do. Not even Signless would do that. Remorse, begging forgiveness, not silencing oneself forever--oh. That's why he made those gestures wasn't it? That's the way to communicate if I can't hear?"
She's almost too caught up in that realization, how perfectly it fits into the strangeness that was her last week, to thinks about what he might have revealed to her. She shakes her head again.
"Nothing beyond what I've told you. He made gestures occasionally but he let me talk more than he tried to communicate." She hesitates, "It's not a help, I know."
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"He would guess the gestures like to be such. MOTHERFUCKER ASSUMED HIS OWNSELF WOULD HAVE KNOWING AND GREETED HIM WITH IT FIRSTLIKE," He tells her. "For the why he can only up and guess. MEASURE PREVENTATIVE OF INCIDENTS FUTUREWAYS PERHAPS? Appreciation found anew for the silences? LEARNED THING OF VISION? Or maybe he just didn't get at to think in grief or... whatever the fuck." He shakes his head, offering a helpless shrug. He should know, it's his alternate, but he doesn't, he hasn't a damn clue.
"If nothing was like to be said, there ain't nothing what may be done," He sighs. "NO ONE GAVE MENTION OF HIS FUTURES HAVING VISION SUCHLIKE. Perhaps it ain't apt to repeat." If it were to happen again, at least they can repair them. Most of the time. He supposes there's a grace in their do-over of their world. Speech and hearing returned back. What pleasant gifts.
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"None that those beneath you ever spoke of." Her gaze shifts, away, distant as she briefly sifts through the memories. The time spent in the clutches of the Subjuggulators was hardly time she tried to remember. If someone had spoke of it, of visions, it wouldn't have been to the heretical disciple of Signless. Most definitely not when there was torture and tormenting to be done.
"Not that I was privy to such things. Either way, it's a mystery I doubt will be solved before he leaves." If he leaves. She feels bad for hoping he does. That smile with stitches stretched is unnerving, but the strange misplaced affection is even more unnerving.
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"AIN'T BRINGING HIS FUTURES UP TO TAUNT, DISCIPLE. He's just trying as to figure out if all he's going to up and motherfucking deafen people without damn warning again," He says, unhappily. He looks away, clenching and unclenching fists.
He sighs through teeth. "AIN'T GOT MORE WHAT TO ASK. He'll find Terezi at point laterways. WHEN A... FIGURING OF THINGS HAS BEEN UP AND DONE."
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"I didn't think--it's painful memories. The only time we met previous to this kidnapping was in brief flashes--seeing you before we ran--and our capture. We were not exactly hive guests. If you had deafened someone, I think that would have made into the stories people told of you as well. Always more ways to breed fear I would think."
And she's not saying it right again, the bitterness is seeping through, the hurt, and she shakes her head, "So no, I think you are safe."
Her hand is curling into the fur of her lusus, at the base of the mane, even as the lion opens its jaws wide to yawn.
"I'm going to go."
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It slips out quick, like a squeakbeast to the wheat. So much worthless noise.
"ABOUT BEFORE," He explains, looking down. "The knowing ain't so lost on him, don't you know. GOT A CRAW STUCK MUTANT RED WHAT AIN'T NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. I got a motherfucking beef up on with your Signless what may well be a whole mooing motherfucking feild of the beasts. HAD THOUGHT WHEN HE FIRST GOT A BEHOLDING OF THEM NUBS HERE TO POP THE FUCKER'S NUG FROM ITS CONNECTING JUST FOR THE SIGHT. Just for suchlike a motherfucker still can't be looking at him. FOR SHE TO HAVE TO LOOK AT HIM AND HE. Me and motherfucking I. WOULD BE DIFFICULT, HE'D THINK."
Messiahs know he'd want to tear the throat out of his future, if all such a thing presented opportune. All those times he dreamed of ripping through grey to reach fuschias royal only to find indigo, indigo, indigo all over, never nothing else. He carries on, "We can't get our gander on samelike and view the wicked pictures identical before us, he gets it. BUT SHE GAVE CHANCE BEFORE..." His shoulders are hiked and he keeps wanting to shrug them. There's an unpleasant look on his face but he's trying to smooth it.
"Should've snapped throat stem like ambrosial bread. SHOULD'VE CRACKED MARROW CLEAN TWO AND MOTHERFUCKING TWO AND SPLIT HARSH DIVISIONARIES AMONGST FELLOWS. Surprise for the happenstance of such would have been nil. A MOTHERFUCKING SURPRISING IT WOULD BE FOR NOT IN SLIGHT. But Alternian preach ain't your preach, is it? AIN'T A MEAOWBEAST'S MOTHERFUCKING JAM. He ain't forgotten what you said. AIN'T BEEN NO SLIPPING THROUGH OF HOLES FOR WHAT AS WAS DONE AND NOT MOTHERFUCKING DONE. Just as all she has mind and rememberance up on what a Highblood got done and not. WORD WOULD BE IT DON'T MEAN SHIT, THAT ALL WITH OUR RETURNINGS, WITH A MOTHERFUCKER GETTING HIS DEAD ON ANYWAY, IT DON'T MEAN NOTHING. But he ain't believing that, he ain't never been the type to. MEANT SOMETHING, THAT. He ain't believe in no wasting and... he ain't want to waste what chance she's given."
He rubs at his neck, so many motherfucking kinds of uncomfortable. Then he starts to walk too. "SHE CAN GET HER GOINGS ON. He ought check on those fuckers anyway, lest the kid motherfucking fall in again." His exasperation is oddly half-hearted.
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"It's not your fault. We were all painted with the same brush. And he...I don't know what happened, if you give me a chance where you give him none. But thank you?"
She pauses, smiles half heartedly, "Good luck."
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He passes her by, waving a hand. "TO HER TOO HE UP AND FUCKING SUPPOSES." They'd god damned need for it.
de ends