thecapitol | Still like a child lost in the wood

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Still like a child lost in the wood

Who| Cosette and YOU
What| Cosette just arrived and is just kind of... wandering and exploring.
Where| Pretty much anywhere.
When| Just after arriving!
Warnings/Notes| None, but will be updated as things come up.

Cosette wasn't sure how to take any of this, to be perfectly honest. She'd blame it on being all a very detailed dream, but even she didn't believe her imagination to come up with such strange things. She felt lost and alone, two things she hadn't imagined capable after so long a time with her father and in his care. She had not been entirely pleased with him, mind you, after his insistence that they leave for their safety... But that hardly mattered now. She did leave. Without him, it would seem... and not for somewhere safer, but somewhere far more dangerous. She was expected to fight. To die.

She made her way from the 8th floor in a kind of a haze, not entirely sure of where she was going or what she was doing. All she knew was that she didn't particularly feel like being cooped up in yet another room. She'd had plenty of that in her life as it was. Still, idly she thought of Marius and what he may be doing currently, unaware that she had not left for London, but for another place entirely. Of her father, who must be stricken with grief and worry. She thought of the square card they'd given her and explained it as a "credit card", of the map of the city, of the communication device that she had no idea how to use... But perhaps she should give it a try.

Once she found her bearings... Once she broke from her trance and accepted this for what it was, or at least until she found a way to anchor herself to the reality of this place. It wouldn't do to withdraw and submit to what they wanted of her... The strong would survive and the weak perish.

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It had to be her. Slowly, always a few steps behind, Eponine stole after Cosette. Her costume might be different, but her gait, the way she hunched her shoulders as she walked, the way she kept her fisted hands thrust tight to her sides - that was all the same. But perhaps Cosette hadn't noticed her mannerisms in Paris.

Oh, why was she here? She had ruined everything. Eponine thought mournfully of her plan to ensnare Marius - now even Cosette had ruined that. Eponine could rip the very hair from Cosette's head - but no. No, of course no. What good would that do? She had to just accept it. She'd be on her own forever.

Still, she followed Cosette. She'd liked that gown when she saw it on Cosette in Paris, had thought enviously of it whilst she hugged her own soaked rags about her. And still, that jealousy flared when she saw Cosette in it now. She had asked again and again for a dress like that - just one. And even here, that had been denied. Always, they wanted to show off her legs or her tiny waist. And here was Cosette, allowed to wear it. It wasn't fair.

"Oh what the hell?" She muttered to herself, thoroughly fed up, thoroughly annoyed. There was no point thinking on it, the dress. No point dwelling on everything that Cosette had - that she would still have even in the Capitol - that Eponine could only dream of.

She sighed, and continued to trudge up the stairs behind Cosette, watching the trailing hem of the girl's dress.

Cosette didn't pause until she heard the voice, the soft comment that she wasn't sure was meant for her or no one in particular. She turned to glance behind her, tucking off to the side as soon as she realized the girl behind her. "My apologies, I hope I wasn't in your way."

There was something vaguely familiar about the girl, who had to be her age, but she couldn't really place it. And it could just be her nerves or anxiety about this place, looking for some sort of familiarity when there was little to be had.

Cosette didn't even recognise her. Eponine half snorted to herself. That was about right, was it not? That this girl should not recognise the gamine who brought her to the hovel she called shelter, who had begged this girl's papa for a coin. It was fitting that Eponine was invisible.

She hugged herself close, her skinny arms about her stomach as she glared up at Cosette. For a minute, she met her gaze, but then, not abashed, but more angry, Eponine cast her eyes down.

"I am sure it is supposed to apologise to you, Mademoiselle." There was definite resentment in Eponine's voice.

In Cosette's defense, Eponine looked nothing as like she did back home. She wasn't sure why the girl was glaring at her, nor why she looked even more familiar when she did so. "You have nothing to apologize for that I know of..."

She pauses and tries for a closer look at her. "I apologize again, but you look familiar..."

"Familiar, Mademoiselle Cosette?" Eponine made a sound that was half way between a laugh and a snort.

"Perhaps you would recognise me more if my hair was tangled or my teeth missing, and I was dressed in those old rags. Perhaps then you should recognise an old playmate, Mademoiselle."

An old playmate. Cosette blinked and stared at her a little longer, trying to place her. There was much that Cosette did not remember about her childhood, having suppressed most if not all of it. But the longer she stared at her, the more she began to recognize her. Perhaps not the events that surrounded them, but she did ring a bell so to speak.

"Eponine...?"

There was a hesitance in her voice, that broke when she realized it was a familiar face. And now she knew not whether she should smile or cry. "You are here as well?!"

Eponine scowled as Cosette stared.

"Am I really so peculiar looking, mademoiselle? Well, I remember when you were as well, when your legs stuck out from your skirts so peculiarly, and your hair was a nasty mess. So there is no need to stare as if I am a creature you do not recognise."

She hugged herself, but nodded an affirmative at her name. Stiffly, she replied, "It is I. I have been here the longest of our countrymen. Aren't I lucky, Mademoiselle?"

The scowl did not deter Cosette in the slightest, her lips pursing as Eponine snapped at her. Turning completely, she stepped down the few steps between them. "I did not mean it that way..." she murmured, eyes wide with worry. "You are not peculiar... I had not been expected to see anyone I knew at this place..."

But then with her admission that she's been here far longer than anyone else. Cosette bit down on her lip and had to keep herself from reaching out and putting her hand on her shoulder. "I am so sorry to hear that... I... I would not wish that on anyone."

Eponine shrugged her hand away.

"I do not want your pity, Mademoiselle. And I do not believe a word you say. You would wish it on people. Perhaps my mother and my father, God rot his soul, or my sister - even Gavroche. And I. Why should you not? I would wish it on you."

She shook her head. "There are several of us here. My brother, though you won't remember him - but he is gone now. And Monsieur Enjolras, a gentleman. And..." She pursed her lips. No. Why should she make Cosette happy when she herself was so dreadfully unhappy?

There were memories that Cosette had trouble accessing, memories that clearly Eponine didn't have as much trouble with. She remembered so little of her time before the convent, just vague instances here and there. And vague familiar faces that have now grown and aged as she had.

As the girl here in front of her. "No."

It was not a weak statement. It was, without a question, how she felt. "I would not wish it upon anyone. Not you, your parents, your siblings. Nor would I wish it on the worst of criminals. It is not within ones place to force a tournament such as this, especially with such unwilling competitors."

She paused, watching Eponine carefully. "And now myself. I know you do not believe me, but what cause have I to lie to you?"

"And why should you not? Perhaps you should laugh at me believing you. Well, I am not stupid, not I. And I won't be laughed at. Not by you, Mademoiselle, nor anybody else. Do you hear me? So do not lie to me."

Eponine couldn't understand Cosette's restraint, or her calmness. She stared, despite berating Cosette for her rudenes. Eponine stared at Cosette's dress, the pretty fabric, the tight corset. Her hands slowly move down her own torso, over the nylon of her blouse to the soft fuzz of the skinny jeans. Why was Cosette always better? Always one step ahead? It wasn't fair.

"You put words on my lips!" Cosette snapped. Recoiling a little as she did so. She didn't want to snap at her... What good could come of that in the end? Pressing her lips together, she softened a little. "I have no accused you of being stupid... I have not said anything that may be twisted in such a way. Why will you not accept that I am sad to see you here, to hear that you have been here for so long?"

Her own fingers tightened in her skirts for a lack of handkerchief to wring or her cross to hold.

"Because I do not understand why you would be sad for me. Why should you be? I am nothing to you, or nobody else. Why should you be sad?"

Eponine stepped down a step, away from Cosette. Turning, she sat down on the step, facing away from her countrywoman.

"And anyway, it is better than Paris here. Although, with all your fine things, you will perhaps think it is worse."

"We are all God's children... We all mean something to someone, whether we believe ourselves deserving or not," Cosette murmured, watching as she turned away and sat. "You think wrong of me for believing I lived with finer things than what we see here."

She took a few hesitant steps down and sat on the step just below Eponine, on the other side, with her torso twisted to look at her easier. "I find it worse than Paris simply because what we are asked to do, not for the living conditions in between."

"Then you are lucky, Mademoiselle." Eponine looked determindly past Cosette.

"For me, it is better than Paris, even if they have made me a murderer now as well. At least, it was..."

"There are better living conditions for some, I will agree," Cosette offered gently. She paused and chewed on the inside of her cheek as she continued to watch her. "It was...? How is it no longer?"

"There is a girl I know here. A girl whose hair shines like the sun. She is the type of girl that people like. And me - I am the type to beg for a crumb. Well, Madame, I am tired of it."

She reached down, sitting with her legs splayed as she picked her toe nails. She was doing her best to offend Cosette in her actions - but the little burn of pain she felt as she peeled nail from toe reminded her that she wasn't dreaming, that she was real and that she could feel - something.

"But there are food and clothes here. If you do not mind being told what to wear - though it seems-"

She twisted, looking sourly at Cosette's gown, "It seems you get your way even in this."

It isn 't fair.

Cosette wasn't daft. She knew that Eponine was talking about her... And while the way she sat and how she picked at her toenails did make her face sour, she determinedly looked away from that. "They made the mistake of leaving my gown somewhere accessible. The one who claims to be my stylist would rather I not wear it."

And until she was shown consequences, she would continue to defy their rules like a petulant child if she must. "No doubt the moment I return I will be scolded. I am sorry that my existence causes you so much trouble... I will stay out of your way if that's what you'd rather."

"They will beat you."

Eponine spoke quickly, a flash of an idea in her mind.

"They will beat you hard if you do not do as they say. You must expect that when you go back now. You will not forget it, I promise you that."

Did Eponine want Cosette away? Yes - to dull her own ache, her upset at seeing the girl. But it was Eponine's jealousy that fuelled her and in a strange way, she needed to be around Cosette, to see her dresses, to watch her with Marius. So she said nothing to Cosette's propositions.

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Still like a child lost in the wood

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