thecapitol | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who| The Psiioniic and YOU
What| The Psiioniic has noticed an influx of new faces. He wants to know why.
Where| Tribute tower common area and the training center
When| Before the crowning.
Warnings/Notes| There's nothing too extreme atm, will add warnings if anything crops up!

Common Area

There are new people. He's seen them, just a handful, not enough to be really noticeable, but they've all just appeared around the same time, and...some familiar faces seem to have left. Maybe it came from sweeps of catering to the whims of highbloods, or sweeps spent evading capture, or the thousands of sweeps spent overseeing the day-to-day functions of Battleship Condescension, but the Psiioniic was observant. He might not be the friendliest, most open troll, but he watched and observed and he knew that there were people who were gone, and people who were new.

And he wasn't sure why. Did the people who left die for good, or had they been sent home? Was it because they weren't entertaining anymore? He imagined that the new people were simply replacements, and while a part of him wondered what they had done to deserve being brought here, he didn't care much for the reasoning of the Capitol, if there was any. Highbloods were highbloods no matter the species, and they couldn't be expected to be logical or reasonable.

Still, he wanted to know why people were chose to be brought here, and he figured now was as good a time as any to find out. He feels better than he has in a while, which might explain why he's approaching people, lisping at them and asking what they did to deserve coming here.

Training Center

He's determined not to die so quickly this time, and he takes a break from his interrogations to make his way down, down, down to the training center. He's still weak - he'll never not be weak - but he's slowly regaining muscle mass. He's determined to live. There's someone he care for, and he's going to do his best to stay with him. To not leave him alone while he wastes away in the Capitol feeling sorry for himself.

So he picks up some throwing knives, and he approaches the target. His aim is...well, it's pretty impeccable, but there's not much force to his throws, and the knife end up clattering to the ground right in front of the target. He sighs, bending down to grab another knife. He's going to try again, and again, because he needs some form of offense with his psionics gone. He'll stay there for hours, and if he doesn't get interrupted soon he's going to work himself to death.

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God...what did she do? What did she leave him to? What happened in the sweeps between them. She could cry if she wasn't so confused. Did the Highblood not tell him. Did no one tell him of her arrival.

"I'm Signless' punishment. Did the Initiate not tell you--he swore he would. He promised me he'd tell you I arrived. I didn't seek you out, I promise."

He stares at her for a long moment. The Initiate talked to her? He shakes his head, but he's still as tense as ever.

"I haven't theen him yet. I've been buthy with my ethcort - why doeth he need to tell me that you're here?" There's something he's missing, and all it does is set him on edge.

She squeezes her eyes shut. It's harder to talk to him directly. To say all she needs to say. God why hadn't the idiot just found him and told him what she said. She brushes hair back anxiously.

"Go between. Your moirail told me I couldn't come to see you, to ask for forgiveness, until he spoke to you. I didn't mean to break my word. Please tell him that. God I'm sorry I was such a coward. I'm sorry I ran. I'm sorry I left you and the Dolorosa...I'm so fucking sorry."

He's not sure who he's angry at. The Initiate, for thinking he couldn't handle his own problems, or the Disciple for...Well, a whole lot of things.

For leaving him. For just standing there and watching, and for just proving that the Psiioniic was never important to her. All that she cared for was her own self, and she would willingly condemn others so she could escape.

"Your apologieth don't mean anything to me," he bites out.

"Then what will?" She raised her head to meet his eyes, "I know it's my fault you were forced into that. I should have ran for you two, or died myself. I wrote of you three everyday. I tried to keep your memories safe when I could not keep you safe. The executor spared me and I'm sorry for that. Still...If you want my life, I cannot guarantee that Signless won't be upset. I'm sure he will. But I lived a long life and if you promised to see him safe, I'd be alright with dying."

She's not really. She wants to cling to Signless and never let him out of her sight. She wants to wrap Psiionic in her arms and beg for forgiveness. But he's not who he was and neither is she. Debts must be settled.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. He needs to stay calm. Losing his temper won't get him anywhere, but every word she says just makes him angrier and angrier.

He balls his hands into fists, and if it wasn't for the stylists constantly filing his claws down he would bleeding now.

"Your life ithn't equal to a thouthand thweepth of thuffering. Don't be tho full of yourthelf."

His voice trembles, just a bit, but his face turns cold. Impassive. He's beyond angry right now.

"Then what is. What can I do? How can I repay what happened? I don't have anything left to offer."

She takes a step closer, hands spread wide. Pleading perhaps. A show of infinite trust even when she warned against it. Equal parts angry and devastated, she looked up at him.

"What could I possibly do? Blame me, not Signless if you must. I should have saved everyone. I should have kept you two safe. I should have kept everyone safe. Don't blame him."

He takes a deep breath. Grits his teeth, fists clench even tighter. It's like he's been pulled taut, and he's about to snap.

He closes his eyes. It's easier to reign back on his anger when he can't see the pleading, desperate look on his face. "You're jutht ath guilty ath he ith. Even if there'th more you thhould have done, it'th too late to think that anything can change."

It's too late. The wind goes out of her. Her shoulders sag and she looks away. She just wants to fix things. She wants to help him and soothe him and take away that terrible look on his face. She wants her snarky terrible Psiionic back. Her Mituna, her best friend, she wants him back. But that's a stupid thing to wish for and she doesn't deserve it.

"So there's nothing I can do to apologize. You hate me. I understand." She sighs softly, "Really I do. I hate me too. But I do have people to live for here. And you are one of them. So I can't lose myself in it like before. I do have to try to help him. But if you'd rather I never came to see you, I do understand."

Watching her crumple is surprisingly easy. Maybe, sweeps and sweeps and sweeps ago, he would have felt guilty. Would have felt like he was being unnecessarily cruel and that he shouldn't hurt her, but his sympathy has long since dried up and all he can do is stare at her blankly, eyes hard and lips drawn down in a scowl.

"Don't. Don't uthe me to fuel your own petty fightth. I don't want that. I don't need you, or him, anymore." He mutters the next bit under his breath, especially sour. "I don't think I ever did."

Her breath catches--releases in a shudder. And yes, yes she deserves it. She deserves his scolding and his hate and his loathing. She deserves it all and more. She deserved more than he ever would give but.

She looked up, hard and sad. Her eyes meet his and she does not look away. He should know more than anyone how good her ears are. How much she hears.

"Don't change what happened because you hate me now. Don't lie about the past because you hate me. Hate us. You needed us as much as we needed you. You CARED about us as much as we cared for you. If you think either of us wanted to see you tortured or hurt or kept alive just to fufill the Empresses' whims..."

"Then more than your pan is broken. You broke more than his diamond if you think we changed so much from who we were in those sweeps you had to hate us in your head to have someone to blame. And yes I'm sorry but I won't stop caring about you again because I never stopped in the first place."

Talking with her is useless. He knew it all along, but it's still just a slap in his face.

"Don't talk to me about breaking hith diamond. I don't care about what that motherfucker feels. I renounced any thort of affection I had for all of you thenturieth ago, becauthe that'th how long I've been alive. Thenturieth! A thouthand thweepth of torture and control becaute I wath thtupid enough to believe in a naive athhole like the Thufferer. And if you think I care about the patht, about what you and him have to thay, then you're the one with a broken pan."

He takes a deep breath, letting it out in a his. "If you care for me ath much ath you claim you do, jutht leave me the fuck alone and don't believe that the patht meanth anything to me."

She winced, automatic and hurt and...she doesn't know. She doesn't know how she feels. Relief perhaps, somewhere deep inside, that he hates as much as she does. A little sad, still, that nothing can be forgiven or mended. That sweeps together were erased.

"Mituna...just because you can't say Signless doesn't mean you should call him by that title." She shook her head, "And I do think you care about the past. Because you care enough to hate me for it."

She stepped closer, "We all believed. I lost everyone I cared about and you'll think me a fool for still believing him but I was always a fool for him remember? I'll leave and never come see you...Just one thing please."

He steps back, holding up his hands defensively. He doesn't want to be touched by her, not by someone who doesn't understand why he feels the way he does. Someone who's still blinded by Signless and thinks he's the most wonderful troll that every existed.

"I'll call him what I pleathe. And I thay I don't care becauthe I don't care about whatever warm, fuzzy feelingth you have. I'm not your friend now, no matter what happened thouthandth of thweepth ago."

Gritting his teeth, he nods, jerkily. "What do you want?"

She watches him pull back and away from her and the idea that she could hold him seems to slip from her mind. Oh...well she's not sure what she expected. She takes a shaky breath and steps in close again, closer than before.

And she slid up on tiptoe and kissed his forehead, once before he can hiss and react and shove her away--because she does that on her own. She steps back quickly and

"You'll always be my friend, no matter what you say.You can't change my feelings like I cannot change yours. I'm sorry I failed you. And if I could go back and ..." Never take you with us, "...we were all pretty naive then. Dreaming of things that never happened. I shouldn't have let you be caught. I wasn't doing my duty to any of you. I'm sorry. I understand."

"No, I don't think you do." But he doesn't elaborate. He doesn't want to elaborate -- he really just doesn't want this conversation to go on any longer than it already has. "Jutht. Go. It would be better for the both of uth if you jutht left now."

"Alright. Good...Goodbye." She squeezes her hands into fists and turns. She leaves without looking back.

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