A dream I dreamed // OPEN

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

Who: The Disciple & Anyone
What: Exploring the center from the elevator doors
Where:Training Center Elevator/Any Floor
When: Today, anytime
Warnings: Probably tears.

Too many hands had touched her this morning for comfort. A woman used to living alone and running if people came too close was not suited to strange aliens manhandling her or others insisting that her clothing be changed. Her hissing and tearing at the clothing they pressed at her just got hurt scared looks and she felt a pang. No stronger than grubs, these creatures with their clothes and devices held out pleadingly. Eventually guilt and a sense of inevitability made her take the clothes she was offered and let them pull the knots from her hair.

They called themselves humans when she asked. Humans. Aliens. Was she merely a creature to them, to be kept for their amusement, killing and playing their games. Hardly. She pulled on the only thing she had managed to save from their hands, a long skin and fur cape, and held it closed over the clothing. As much as she liked the leather and fur that adorned her outfit, she almost wanted to tear it off.

The Disciple did, at least, want to find out where she was being kept beyond these rooms. A way out was probably too much to ask at this point, given that they had subdued her before. Their words and explanations flew over her head, things she didn't know of or understand. They at least managed to explain the elevator to her and when she asked if she was to merely stay here, they encouraged her to go look around. Technology she didn't quite understand swept her up and down until her stomach was queasy and at each new floor, she surveyed the area from the elevator doors and occasionally stepped off to explore.

She's not as silent as she hopes with new clothes to adjust to and the ding that precedes her at every floor makes any hope of a silent entry impossible.

Comments

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

"What do you mean what I did to earn such a thing." She hissed, "Such what thing?"

Before he could reply, she shook her head quickly. She wasn't going to call him a liar. If anything, she felt betrayed, not lied to. And she couldn't even pinpoint why. Maybe because she had finally felt like she was meeting a highblood who might not want to immediately see her dead. She wasn't really sure. It was just there, sharp and sad.

"And I know you didn't lie. Don't be stupid. You don't know who I am so how could you lie. You're just a horrible troll. A horrible murderous being. And I want nothing to do with you."

[carnagecarnival]

"But you want to do with the Helmsman, don't you?" He hisses. "WHEN YOU HAVE NO RIGHT. You don't even understand what you've done do you? YOU DONT EVEN MOTHERFUCKING KEN WHAT ALL HE WAS LEFT TO BECAUSE OF YOUR FRAUDULENT CAUSE. You claimed to be his ally once so where were you!?"

He knew where he'd been. He knew what he'd done-- was meant to do. He couldn't change what was already done, even if he hadn't yet done it. But that didn't excuse the Signless and it didn't excuse her. Not unless she had something worth while to explain for it.

"CALL AT I A BASTARD. Call me motherfucking horrible. MURDEROUS, AS I AM! But you did nothing to earn anything but from me. YOUR SAVING GRACE LIES WITH HIM AND NOTHING ELSE! unless you truly did try for him, THE HELMSMAN. So tell me; DID YOU?!"

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

Her breath caught and she snapped back, pressed against the wall. Traitorous tears springing to her eyes and she has nothing. She ran. She knew he didn't want her to die but she didn't want him to live like that--like this--she--She did nothing. Nothing.

"I'm a traitor. I ran. Don't you think I know what I did?!"

And then she stalked across the elevator, stopping just short of him. Even with her old and he young, he's taller than her but she looks up at him without flinching or fear. If she died here, would that make this right. "Don't tell me what I did when I had to live with being that traitor and that horrible person to him and don't you dare tell me I can't try to make this up to him. Don't you dare try to tell me what I already know!"

"I condemned three trolls--you condemned millions. Don't you dare compare us."

[carnagecarnival]

He glares down at her, teeth bared. His hands are clenched tight at his side. Cull her. Make her pay, make her motherfucking pay. He raises a fist.

Then slams into the wall behind him. It cracks. It cracks and his hand bleeds. They'll know it was him. He doesn't care.

Through his teeth he says, "YOU are NOT THE ONLY MOTHERFUCKING ONE what recognizes their sin against him. AND I WILL NOT LET IT HAPPEN TO HIM AGAIN. So long as you up and motherfucking understand."

He wrenches his hand free and forces it down to his side.

"I WILL TELL HIM YOU ARE HERE. If he still thinks you an ally. THEN YOU SO MAY SPEAK. But you will not take from me, AND IN RETURN IF HE SO CHOOSES TO KEEP YOU, I WILL NOT TAKE HIM FROM YOU."

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

She nods once, quickly, eyes fixed on his. His moirail, she repeated, someone to keep him sane. They need to be sane. It's important, she can't get mad or demand to bypass. She knows better than anyone else. She can't get in the way. Even if her blood boils and she wants to claw his eyes out for even daring to mention--No. She steps back, away from him.

"I doubt he would find me an ally after all I did not do. But I'd like to speak to him. Apologize. Offer what I can."

Her body trembles with the need to fight or run that she is forcing down. Hands fall to her sides, then spread out. Everything about her posture is wrong, forced. A forced example of trust she does not feel for him, but perhaps Psiionic. Defenseless. "Tell him I will do whatever he feels would ever possibly make it up. If nothing can, I understand."

[carnagecarnival]

She and him both. Shaking hands and too-tense postures. Burning veins. But he lifts his chin. It will do. It will have to do.

"NOT A WORD MOTHERFUCKING MINCED. I will tell exactly as was said," He promises. The elevator shutters to a stop and finally the doors open.

"BUT IN MOTHERFUCKING MEANTIME" He adds, before he starts out. "I still mean at what all was said. THERE ARE TARGETS PAINTED ALREADY AND BELIEVE IT OR FUCKING NOT IT AIN'T HE WHAT PAINTED THEM. Watch at for your associations. OR SO A FUCKER MAY BE DRAGGED WITH THEM." And he would be damned if the Helmsman would be one of them.

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

She nods quickly and sharply, letting him step out before she swivels and punches the wall. Not hard enough to break her hand or the wall, but enough to get out the terrible feeling of knowing she could do nothing. Pruna said something about training. She had a terrible feeling she'd be there more often than not.