Looking for Love [OPEN]

[shambler]

Who| R [OPEN]
What| R takes it upon himself to ask for dating advice from whoever he bumps into (sometimes literally). This can be from advice to how to be the most romantic Romeo ever to the downright awful. To make intros easier, we can handwave R introducing himself and assume he’s already corraled them into this if you like.
Where|| Around the Training Center, the Tribute Tower, and the Speakeasy. Possibly the park.
When| | Before the Victor Crowning
Warnings/Notes|| Nothing so far.

R’s on a mission to acquire intel for How to Date; Revised for Zombies.

Oh, and for scrawny little guys like Howard. Although if you asked him, personally R believes Howard’s already got one step in the door just because he’s got a working heart. Don’t tell Howard he thought that.

The point is R’s motivated. It’s almost unicorn rare to know what he wants and how to get it. Motivation doesn’t come easy to zombies, R feeling the strain raking its claws across his brain folds as he takes his first stumbling step into today. His Escort turns to stare while she primps her hair, surprised that he’s going out on his own instead of having to be herded. He even remembers to groan something about “…prac-tice…for…Games”, just like the Helmsman coached him to, and R almost thinks that’s a mistake when his Escort’s face lights up. He made her day. She almost looks like she wants to drop everything, come along as if she knows how to tie nooses any better than he does. Luckily she settles for waving him good luck, so pleased she’d radiate sunshine if she could.

He lurches off before she changes her mind.

R’s mission is a multi-stage attack:

1). Find someone, anyone with a pulse.
2). Grill them on romance.
3). Hoard the advice.
4). …He’s still working on the next step. R’s lucky he got this far, to be totally honest.

For now R roams, a tall swaying zombie with a muzzle and a bad habit bumping his way into friends and strangers and wrangling them into his quest.

Comments

[shambler]

Lucky Nepeta. R's between interviewees and always ready to bump into some fresh meat; she can catch the zombie shuffling around with his head listing to one side as he tries to keep all that great advice he's got so far from leaking out into that gray fog. It's hard to hold onto things, usually. Today's just one of those good days where he's got, like, probably 70% of it. ...Okay, make that 60%. Still pretty damn good, in his own opinion.

R's sure he can take on a little bit more advice.

He sees that corpse gray from a distance, then the horns, and he latches onto the new troll as soon as he gets close enough to start groaning what he wants to steal her for. By now R's learned that trolls equal amazing, reliable advice and once he realizes this one's female, he's really in luck. R can hardly believe it. A pulse, a troll and female. That's like winning the lottery!

"I..." R wheezes, now that he's very awkwardly, very, very slowly found Nepeta a nice chair (he even remembered to pull it out for her and pat the overstuffed cushion) and a coffee probably cost an arm and a leg sits steaming on the table. "Need...your...help. Troll...advice? Love," he adds and grunts to show he means business here.

[whoseesbynight]

Nepeta gravitates to the chair in much the same way as a cat gravitates to the one person who doesn't like cats. Fortunately, she doesn't actually curl up on it, but she certainly makes herself good and comfortable. She's a little less certain about the coffee, but thus far R is making a pretty good impression, even despite the shuffling and general awkwardness.

Better yet, Nepeta is more than willing to talk about the various sorts of love that trolls have. She hasn't spent her life paying attention to her ships for nothing, after all!

"Well, furst you need figure out which clawdrant it's in. It's no good if you mistake someone's overtures for something they aren't!"

[shambler]

She looks a lot more comfortable in that chair than R does, he'll give her that. Compared to her, he slumps down across from her, looking more like he's collapsing into it because that's basically what he's doing. Now the zombie sits there, listing a little to the side, but for now he's good and ready and hopeful that he'll get some more help on How to Ask Julie Out front and with all this advice, he's almost feeling prepared. It's a strange new feeling here for a corpse.

At least this time he has a vague idea about troll ideas of relationships, R staring at Nepeta and realizing he's heard Helmsman throw that term around. (Is it clawdrant or quadrant? Is this another troll thing?).

"Um," R says and that's totally an amazing way to kick things off, the zombie trying to think fast here. It's hard work. "Maybe...new...kind. Or...I don't know. How...do I tell?" He's groaning so fast he feels like he'll trip on the words if he's not careful. "She's...human and...Alive. I'm...not. If that...helps?"

R seriously has to take a break at that point, not used to wheezing out so many words in one shot like that because usually he has days to come up with anything that's over two syllables. With air rattling out of his lungs, the zombie sags back into his seat, hoping he covered enough for Nepeta to start working her magic.

[whoseesbynight]

It's quadrant. Nepeta just has a thing for puns, although R's confusion is certainly understandable. Troll romance is hard enough without getting puns involved, not that this usually stops Nepeta. (She is, of course, also perfectly capable of not punning, but she doesn't usually do so, all the same.)

Instead she settles in a bit more, and considers how to answer. She doesn't often have to explain what the quadrants actually are, even if she knows. The fact that R is willing to imply that he isn't even alive anymore says something too, and she has to admit to being curious. But the quadrants take priority, in this particular case. Anything else can wait until later.

"Well, I don't think you not being alive would affect anything." Not until there was supposed to be pailing involved, but that could probably afford to wait for the time being.

"Do you hate her, or is it something more red?"

R has this massive D: face because of her

[shambler]

R can see he has a lot to teach trolls because the whole Dead thing is probably the worst strike against him. That and murdering her ex and carrying his brain around like takeout. Make that two strikes. Humans don't date zombies, no matter how awesome their taste in music is. He's still trying to work out a good, word-count efficient way to groan it out when she asks him...that.

The zombie takes awhile to work up to looking horrified. Give him a few seconds for his facial muscles to creak into place and...there he goes. R looks downright appalled at the idea.

"I...can't...hate her!" R gasps. Wait, does Julie hate him? Maybe it's one-sided, maybe she's being polite because he's the big corpse with the circus trick of speech. But she doesn't act like she hates him - at least he thinks she doesn't - and congratulations, Nepeta, you've sent R into a spiral of worry and what-ifs. "I...want to be...with her. And-and..."

R's so worried and flustered now that he's stumbling all over his grammar like a klutz, rattled bad by a troll with terrible taste in puns.

"Holding...hands. Making...a...connection," R finishes lamely. "Is that...red?"

[whoseesbynight]

It might be a strike against him, but Nepeta is generally of the opinion that love can overcome an awful lot of things that might otherwise stand in the way. Sometimes it takes work, but well, that's what asking people is for, and even before R actually manages to speak, Nepeta is already starting to expect it might be flushed. His words only confirm her suspicions, and she nods.

"Of course. It's purrobably the easiest one to deal with too, since it sounds like you're flushed for her. You're still going to need to let her know how you feel though. Is she here?"

Not that the advice won't still be applicable otherwise, but it'll be easier if the other person is actually around.

[shambler]

R's head wobbles in another one of his nods. "Yes. Another...District. Julie. How...to say in...as few words...as poss -"

The zombie cuts off, annoyed because he can't get that last bit out with it getting trapped in his throat. Anyway. Most of it's out. It does seem to be a common thread in all the advice he's hoarded that he should be telling Julie how he feels. How to do it in the least awkward, least creepy way possible? R's shoulders hunch in a helpless shrug. Maybe Nepeta knows better than he does. She's the one who has all these different ideas about love being red and flushed and she sounds so sure to him when she talks. R already wants to believe everything coming out of her mouth. He's just that gullible easy.

[whoseesbynight]

Nepeta nods at the comment. Incomplete though the answer may be, it's still an answer, and one that gives her significantly more information than she'd had before. She'll probably have to ask Julie for her own thoughts on the matter, but that much can wait. There isn't a lot of time to do what might need to be done, but that's okay. She doesn't think any of them are going to be going anywhere any time soon.

"Do you know what she likes?"

[shambler]

"Planes...old...extinct things," R tries parsing out what she's actually said and what he stole when he cracked Perry's skull open. It feels like forever ago. He's cheating a little bit by checking on the ex's memories, admittedly. "Cheesy...things. She likes...laughing?"

R figures that's good enough for now. He slumps forward so he can rest his elbows on the table, his head sagging slightly as he fixes Nepeta with a gray stare.

[whoseesbynight]

He might be, but it's not like Nepeta knows about. For all she knows, he's simply going to the effort of either asking or has been spending time noticing the things she seems to enjoy. Either way, it's something to go on and that'll do for now. As long as the broad strokes are settling into place, the finer details can wait.

"You could maybe get her something having to do with those? I don't know what the places here sell, but there's purrobably something that would work."

Might wrap this up in a bit if that's cool

[shambler]

"Can't...buy plane. Won't...fit. Too big," R says. "Think...smaller?"

Like small enough a zombie can carry. Also preferably something that doesn't require a lot of hand-eye coordination because his dexterity was in the negatives some days. R guesses her advice is good on a more, uh, global scale, but Nepeta's missing context if she thinks a plane is a good gift for Julie.

Works for me /o/

[whoseesbynight]

"You could get her a model of one," Nepeta answers with a shrug. "It purrobably won't be quite the same, but I'm sure she'd still like it. Or maybe a book about planes?"

If she'd spent more time checking out the shops, she might have had something more accurate to what he might be able to find, but that's something that R will have to deal with on his own. Still, she can manage to make suggestions if nothing else and surely that's bound to count for something.

[shambler]

Oh. Why didn't he think of that? Maybe he was being too literal, R filing that suggestion away and hoping he can hold onto it for longer than a few days. His memory isn't what it used to be. It's a nice, elegant solution from Nepeta - he doesn't expect anything less from trolls at this point.

"Good ideas," R says. "How...did...you get so...good at..."

He means to say love, advice, romance - how to connect but settles for placing a hand where his heart sits uselessly in his chest.

[whoseesbynight]

"Purractice, mostly," Nepeta answers. The fact that she'd ended up being the Rogue of Heart probably didn't hurt, but she figures it's probably better to not entirely overload R. If it comes up in the course of something else, she'll explain but not until then.

"I've purretty much always been interested in it though, so that doesn't hurt."

[shambler]

Oh, so she has a lifetime experience then. That explains things. R has no idea how long trolls live, but if they can practice and remember they practiced, than...wow! Think of the possibilities. R looks at Nepeta with renewed respect, updating her from experienced to pro in his head.

"Then...you're qual...qualified," R's half-amazed he got a nice, big-kids word out there. Talk about frustrating. "I'll...try those. Thank...you."

He shuffles to his feet, waffles on if he should shake her hand or help her out of the chair because it's polite, and gets stick on which one goes first. Chair. Chair seems good. R staggers over to Nepeta's chair and starts trying to awkwardly help her out.

[whoseesbynight]

They can most definitely plan and remember. They might not make all the smartest choices, but that can be said of just about any race, and once you start getting up into the higher tiers of the hemospectrum the average lifespan of a troll starts to increase by leaps and bounds. Nepeta, of course, hasn't gotten anywhere near that upper range. But she still has more then enough experience under her belt to be good enough at this.

"Don't worry about it," she answers with a nod. "I hope efurrything works out for you two."

R's offer of help out of her chair is surprising, but she waves him off good-naturedly before hopping out of it herself in a manner that is - one again - not unlike that of a cat. It's a sweet gesture, but she'd rather not push him too far out of any sort of comfort zone.