[closed] i'm like the rain in a downpour

[rediscover]

Who| Anna and Clara, Sansa, and Phi.
What| Catch-all log
Where| D4 during the battle, out and about in the Capitol, and back at the D4 house.
When| Vague answer /jazzhands
Warnings/Notes| Mentions of brainwashing/death likely at some point



A. Clara

District Four holds a special place in Anna’s heart. Not because she’s ever been here; on the contrary, this is her first and likely last time. But she’s fought in Four’s name through so many Arenas, bonded with Four’s victors. She’s almost an honorary citizen, at this point. So the battle here is important to her. She wants to do right by her adopted family, wants to ensure that victory is won with minimal damage to their home.

After all, the Capitol must win. But that doesn’t necessitate utter destruction.

She’s shouldered her rifle; her orders had been to scan the perimeter of the action, to ensure that no foul play was at hand, and to alert Capitol medics to any dead or wounded for collection and healing. Her braids are pinned up beneath her helmet to keep them out of the way, and she’s glad for it; it keeps her from being recognized by her trademark. From becoming an even bigger target.

Peering around the corner of a building and into the narrow alleyway that lies there, the princess’s eyes widen. Seeing a Capitol healer isn’t a surprise; seeing her bent over a Districter with bandages in hand is.

She doesn’t say anything yet; just steps into the alleyway quietly, watching with wide eyes, her brain ringing with forced disapproval. She needs to see more clearly what’s really happening; she needs to make a fair decision before she reacts.


B. Sansa

The last time Anna had tried going for a stroll as a distraction from the heaviness of her everyday reality, it had ended in a harsh encounter with a former friend. She’d left in tears and decided not to leave the house for awhile, and had pretty much stayed in until the battle in Four. Now, however, being inside feels lonely, and stifling, without her family unit nearby to ground her. So once more, she takes to the streets to try to calm the worry in her head, to try and distract herself from the chaos her life’s been thrown into. One wouldn’t expect the Princess of Arendelle to be so weighed down, but she’s far from the carefree girl she used to be.

Still, she tries to walk with her head up, to project something like a carefree attitude. She even manages a shaky smile at a few passersby, but it’s not until she spies a young lady walking a dog that her face actually lights up. The girl’s face is vaguely familiar; a former Tribute like Anna, she thinks as she kneels down, her skirt fluttering about her knees as she does, to pet the pup. She glances up at the owner and offers a smile. “Hope you don’t mind. I can’t resist petting such a sweet dog!”

C. Phi

Since the capture of Chuck, Derek, Meulin, and Kurlozt, things have been lonely in the house they all used to share. Anna is by herself, most days, with Max the bulldog for company, and she’s barely holding it together. She’d known District Four would be a difficult battle to fight, but she hadn’t been expecting to lose her whole family unit besides, and the uncertainty as to whether or not she’ll ever see them again, or if they’re even alive, is killing her. Almost as much as being alone is, honestly.

Which is why it’s a relief when Phi stops by the house. The two of them have never been close, never talked much besides a few words in passing here or there, but now Anna is grateful for any familiar face. Besides, she was a tribute of Four. She’s part of their little fold.

The princess works up a little smile as she answers the door, but ends up looking a little sick instead. “Hi. I’m afraid it’s just me around here, but you’re welcome to come, you know, hang out. I could use the company, truth be told…”

Comments

[porcelainandsteel]

Sansa smiles back, and although she's feeling fairly weighed-down and worried herself, there's nothing in that smile to suggest she's anything but a cheerful, innocent girl on a pleasant walk. She's had a lot of time in the last couple of years to perfect her acting. "Of course I don't!" she says warmly, and leans down to scratch the puppy between her ears. "This is Lady. Lady, why don't you say good-day properly?"

The dog barks, pawing at Anna's arm and panting cheerfully. Sansa looks down at her proudly - she's been training the dog, and it's nice to see that some of it's taken hold.

"And you're..." She worries at her lip, looking at Anna again, trying to place her. There weren't that many Tributes, and she ought to be able to remember them. All she can think of, though, is, "...District Four, wasn't it?"

[rediscover]

"Lady," Anna repeats in a little murmur, letting her fingers scritch behind one ear and even managing a laugh when Lady responds so promptly to her mistress's requests. "Good girl," she praises.

Glancing up, she finishes the girl's question without prompting. "Anna," she supplies. "And yes, that's right. I'm one of Four's Mentors. Well, I was, anyway." The Games being effectively over, or on hold, or whatever, meant she was pretty much out of a job. Not that she needed it; her Victor's winnings were keeping her just fine.

The princess rises, holding out a hand to shake. "I'm sorry, I should really know your name, but I'm not really the best at remembering faces and names."

[porcelainandsteel]

Shaking hands is still a little strange to Sansa, but it's becoming less so. She smiles as she does so, an intentionally self-deprecating expression, and shakes her head. "There's no reason you ought to. I never really made much of a name for myself." At least, not in the Games themselves. She's managed to get a pretty decent name for herself in fashion advertising, in the last couple of months. "Sansa. Sansa Stark. I used to fight for District Six."

All right, so fight might be an overstatement. She never really fought much, not even in the Arena. She ran, and hoped, and eventually, she died. But that isn't the point.

[rediscover]

Anna scuffs her toe against the pavement. "Nothing wrong with that," she says, offering a reasonable consolation. "It means you don't have to worry so much about everyone watching your every move."

A pause, and then she laughs, a bit sardonic. "Or, well. Not as much, anyway. It's nice to meet you, Sansa. And Lady, too."

Stark. The name gives her pause, once it sinks in. "Wait, you don't happen to have a sister, do you?"

[porcelainandsteel]

Sansa's face falls. She can't help it. Arya's loss is still raw, and every other loss - Phil and Luna to the Rebellion, Brienne gone almost before Sansa could meet her - only makes it feel a fresher wound. She never much liked her sister, but she loves her a great deal, and thinking about her hurts the same way that thinking about any of her family has come to.

And it makes her feel very alone, too. Reminds her that in all the Capitol, she has no family and no real friends left, only Lady and her work.

"...I had a sister," she corrects, quietly, and bites her lip. Dropping to one knee, she buries her hand in Lady's fur, looking for comfort in the dog who's been her closest companion since Luna left. "You knew Arya?"

[rediscover]

Anna's smile drops, too, because she can tell that there's hurt there, and she feels it so intensely because, over a year after the fact, it still hurts to think about her own sister. She makes a soft sound, watching Sansa drop to her knee.

"I'm sorry. Forgive me, that was thoughtless." She hums. "I wouldn't say knew. But she felled me in an Arena once. She was a tough little thing." A pause, and Anna goes on, albeit hesitantly. "I know what it's like, to lose loved ones here. My sister was a Tribute, too. She's gone, now, but I still miss her every day. We just...we have to believe that they're in a better place than this."

[porcelainandsteel]

Sansa nods, swallowing, and forces a little smile. "I suppose so." She doesn't believe Arya's in a better place, not really. Either she's gone back to Westeros, which is an awful thought, or she's really dead, and it's been a long time since Sansa could really bring herself to believe that that's a better place, either. At least then she'd be with Mother and Father.

Lady, perhaps sensing that her mistress needs a distraction, barks and squirms around to lick Sansa's face. That gets a more genuine smile and even a laugh, although there's a certain suggestion of tears behind it. Pulling out a handkerchief to wipe her face, Sansa looks up at Anna again. "You get used to it, I think. Missing people. It doesn't go away, but it..." She trails off, shaking her head. "It stops keeping you up at night so much."

She sounds like she's had a lot of experience in that.

[rediscover]

Anna feels bad, now, that she inadvertently brought up such a sensitive subject. Here she was hoping she could have a conversation that didn't end in tears, for once. But there's nothing for it but to try and put her best foot forward. "You're right," she says with a nod. "It never stops being hard, but after a while..."

She gives a shaky smile. "It isn't so bad." She watches Lady for a moment, thinking that she must be extraordinarily attuned to her mistress's emotions. "You know...if you ever want someone to talk to. Or even not to talk to. But someone who understands, well. I'd be happy to help."

[porcelainandsteel]

Sansa looks up at that, and there's something different about her smile - it's shyer, more honest. What Anna's saying is something she really, really wants to believe. It would be nice to have somebody to talk to, somebody who might have some idea how alone she feels. It's been a while since Sansa was in the habit of having real friends - besides Luna, that is - and the thought's just seductive enough to worry her. What if I make friends, and she leaves too?

"I'd like that," she says at last, trying not too think too hard about it. "We could..." What's the phrase they use here? "We could go for coffee some time. If you'd like. There's a place in the middle of town that does the most divine lemon cakes."

[rediscover]

Anna's having similar thoughts; getting attached to anyone at this point is foolish, because all of their existences here were walking on a thin line; especially Anna, who was out fighting battles that she may or may not be revived from. But she makes a decision in that moment—to do something that might make her happy, instead of something that will only make her sadder at the present time. Friends are better than no friends.

She lets her smile widen, and it's almost as bright as it once was. "Coffee! I'd love that. It's been so long since I've just done something fun."

[porcelainandsteel]

Sansa relaxes a little, and actually laughs. "Gods, yes. Fun hasn't been much of a priority lately, has it?" The last time she can remember doing something fun was the party the Capitol put on, and even that was overshadowed by the war in a lot of ways. Everything else has been war, and work, and loss. The thought of just... having some time to talk and not worry is wonderful. "When are you free?"

[rediscover]

See? Anna earned a laugh. This will be fine, she assures herself. She has to take a chance. She shakes her head. "No, not remotely...possibly the last priority, actually!"

She lifts a hand, spreading it wide. "Any time! Really. I have drills in the morning, but aside from that..." She chuckles. "The Capitol is my oyster."

[porcelainandsteel]

Sansa smiles back, giving Lady a final scratch between the ears, then straightening up. "...Why not now?" she suggests, on impulse. "If you don't have any other engagements this afternoon. I was going to have tea after this walk in any case..."

[rediscover]

Anna brightens, looking pleasantly surprised. "Oh! Well—I don't see why not."

She gestures around her, a bit sheepishly. "It's not like I was doing anything else today. Lead the way, Sansa!"

She used to make friends left and right; now, it's astonishing how nice it feels to make just one.

[porcelainandsteel]

Sansa relaxes visibly, her smile widening. If she's honest, she'd been afraid she was overstepping, that Anna would either make an excuse or would go along with it just to be polite. But the older girl seems just as happy as Sansa herself to have a break from routine - to have a friend.

She whistles Lady to heel as she starts walking, and smiles warmly at Anna. "I'm so glad I met you," she says. "It's amazing how alone you can feel in a place so full of people."

[rediscover]

Again, Anna marvels at how well-trained Lady is. She's pretty sure if she ever had a pet, it'd be the most unruly, poorly-trained animal imaginable. Sansa must be quite the dedicated trainer.

Her gaze slides sideways, and she nods, enthusiastic. "Me, too. I know exactly what you mean." Anna huffs a laugh. "I used to get invitations all the time...it seemed like everyone wanted to be my friend. Now? Not so much."

[porcelainandsteel]

"Well, it's difficult." Sansa's smile is that little bit warmer, that little bit more genuine. "It's difficult for all of us, I mean. Whether or not we're from here." She wants to say more - how she's seen the same thing happen in wartime back home, how it's natural to close ranks, how that doesn't make it any less lonely or any less frightening - but she isn't sure how safe it is to discuss the war openly and publicly with a stranger. She settles for a little shake of her head, and "It will all be over soon, I'm sure. And then things can start to get back to normal."

[seestheman]

Clara's job is to help people, that's why she agreed to be a healer in the first place. Yeah, getting out of the Capitol and feeling like she was doing something other than being featured in ads from various companies about products to 'help the homefront' was definitely a part of it, but it meant doing something that wasn't just shedding more blood.

She's already done too much of that to feel as at ease with herself when she was first brought to Panem.

And, as much as her CO and the Capitol say otherwise, she refuses to see a difference between their soldiers and the people who are doing nothing more than defending their homes.

The man (boy really, he's no older than Dave) she's helping isn't as wounded as some of the others. He won't die right away if his wound isn't treated, but it's stopping the possibility of infection in advance. She doesn't realize anyone's behind her, not yet, and if she knew that it was someone else on the Capitol's side, she might stop winding bandages around the cleaned and stitched up wound on his upper arm. Clara turns around to stuff the bandages back in her small kit bag when she notices the girl watching her. She fights down the urge to grab the boy and run, instead hissing "Go. Now," at him before resuming packing her bag.

As soon as the boy's far enough away she finally sucks in a breath and closes her bag, calling out to her observer. "They don't realize what they're fighting for," she notes, hoping false ignorance is enough to save her ass. She closes and picks up her bag, walking towards her, "And I doubt District 13's medics would spare the time to help them."

[rediscover]

Anna just stares, and tries to fight down the word TRAITOR bubbling in her throat, wanting to come out, to accuse. She has to breathe and make herself be the fair, kind girl she used to be. There's a war in her mind every day, and moments like this are the ones where the struggle is the hardest. She has to keep herself calm and under control.

She watches the boy run, her gun still in her hands, perfectly so. She looks far too small to be carrying a gun that big, but she handles it with ease, after so much practice.

"But is it worth it? To risk your own safety, to pass over the ones you're supposed to be healing? Some of our soldiers wouldn't have hesitated to shoot the both of you."

[seestheman]

Clara knows, but all rights, that she should set the bag on the ground, remove any of the weapons she has strapped to herself for protection, and put her hands in the air to show that she isn't a threat. She doesn't, though. She isn't sure why she doesn't, if it's some urge to rebel in a small way or something else entirely.

"Of course it's worth it," she's fighting to keep her voice steady and calm in the face of having a gun trained on her. "Do you know how this makes us look to them? Do you really think District 13 can provide them with the same quality of medical care we can?" She hopes they can, but that isn't the point she's trying to make. "Just think, that single act of mercy's going to eat away at that him. He'll remember that the Capitol helped him every time he sees that scar, not the rebels." It isn't the reason why she does it, but she's been practicing this excuse for a while now, so much that she almost believes it. "Is that really worth shooting someone over?"

[rediscover]

Anna can see Clara's point; helping their wounded does make the Capitol look better. Makes them look merciful, even if they necessarily aren't. So she lowers her weapon, pointing its muzzle toward the ground.

"I wouldn't have shot him. But someone else might have." She feels it's important that Clara knows this. "But we're Victors. We have to be extra careful." They may have never met, but of course Anna knows who she is; she attended her crowning, after all.

[seestheman]

As much as Clara wants to believe Anna, she can't quite do it. She's seen what the Capitol's hold can do to people, how they can push their hand with such ease. Without realizing it, she shifts slightly now that the girl isn't holding a gun on her.

But, even if she's telling the truth, Clara knows that the girl's right. If it had been a Peacekeeper, that boy's brains may have very well wound up on the wall behind her and Clara would have been taken away for...well, she wasn't sure what exactly, and she didn't want to think about it. "Don't you think that, as Victors, we owe it to them to make is clear that the Capitol isn't their enemy?" It's a lie, but it's still what they need to say, what they need to try to believe. She may not have met the girl before, but she recognizes her, and she also knows that they don't have to be enemies, that this isn't right. "Maybe if we set the right example, we can end this war before anymore blood's shed."

[rediscover]

Anna's shoulders drop; the logic makes sense, and she can't contest it without straight-up accusing Clara of lying. So she just nods. Okay. She can be rational...she can let herself be rationalized with. Even if she doesn't quite buy the story.

"You're right. I'm sorry, I—" The princess gestures to the war all around them, the sounds of gunfire and people yelling. Dying. "I just got so caught up in everything, I guess I saw what I wanted to and not what really was."

C

[occasio]

Phi doesn't know Anna ass well as she knew Meulin or Derek or Chuck or Kurloz, but that didn't mean that she didn't care. Anna was still one of her mentors, and as the two remaining women to represent District 4 in the Capitol, there was a kind of solidarity there that was hard to ignore. So while Meulin was no longer present, Phi still took it upon herself to being Sigma's cat to the condo for a visit. Sigma may or may not have been informed of this.

"Hey," Phi answers when Anna opens the door to greet her. It's not much of a greeting by Phi's standards, not when she's used to a much busier house. As much as she tries to block it out, there's a bit of sympathy for the princess gnawing at her. "I know. That's why I stopped by. Helios misses playing with Max, too." Helios being the name that Phi had given the cat to override the shame of being called Bill Nye at home. And she's pretty sure that it's Meulin the cat actually misses, but that's not something she can help.

Phi steps into the house, setting the cat carrier on the ground and waiting for Anna to shut the door before letting the feline scamper out into the room and hop onto one of the sofas. She sets the carrier aside and stands up straight, address Anna again. "How are you doing?"

[rediscover]

It's a pleasant surprise to learn that it being just her wasn't a deal-breaker, and Anna steps back, letting the door open wider to let Phi in. She watches her let the cat out and spares it a half-smile that's more out of habit than any true delight. Turning back to Phi, she manages a half-shrug. She can feel tears that want to happen, but she's trying not to completely unload on the poor girl, considering they're not that familiar.

So she steels herself with a deep breath. "Not....not good. I know it doesn't do any good to worry, but I'm terrified about all of them. Anything could be happening to them, and I don't have any idea. You know?"