(no subject)

[beckstitch]

Who| Beck and Roland, Beck and OPEN
What| Beck takes Tony's loss to heart
Where| The gym, a club in the Capitol, the D12 common area
When| The days immediately following Tony's execution
Warnings/Notes| Discussion of violence, death, etc., also sexual themes

i. Gym.
She'd cried a little, watching Tony's execution. Then, when she'd had time to sit down and really digest the information, she'd cried a lot, feigning a headache as an excuse to go and curl up under the covers. Losing Tributes, she'd learnt to deal with, although it always stung - they were always going to die, and sometimes they wouldn't come back. But losing Victors was ten times worse, especially when they were shot the way you'd always imagined it being with your father, the way that sometimes got you waking in a cold sweat. Especially when it had been your job to save them.

When she'd finished crying, fixed her make-up, and felt like she was in a position to show her face to the world, she got back up. Still pale and drawn, she changed into her running gear, hoping to burn off some of her feelings, make herself too tired for grief or guilt or frustration. She left a note on her door - Out Running, Back Later - and headed out into the city.

After two circuits of her usual morning run, she felt no better. That was what found her in the gym an hour or so later, out of place among the Tributes, slim and smaller than ever without her high heels, lifting weights and shadowboxing with a vengeance.

ii. Club.
The night after the show aired, and for several nights following, Beck couldn't sleep. Knowing that from the start - knowing she didn't want to sleep, had to get her head clear - she didn't even try. Instead, she found herself drifting through the city after hours, through all her old haunts and some new.

You're likely to find her propping up the bar in one of the seedier clubs of the Capitol, dressed in scraps that barely cover her modesty. Or extremely drunk and draped over another woman. Or, most likely, dancing on tables and singing at the top of her voice. And you don't even have to pay for the privilege!

iii. D12
About three days after the execution, when Beck has herself under control again, she starts pushing notes under the doors of her remaining Tributes and staff. District meeting, Commons, 1pm Tuesday. Be there. Not optional. -Beck

From 12:30 onwards, she can be found in the District 12 common area, sitting cross-legged on one of the couches. She's done her best to make it look friendly - there's a plate of tea and coffee things, some cake, plenty of cushions - but she herself looks tired and drawn, the long nights starting to show and her friendly smile conspicuously absent. Dammit, she cared about Tony.

Comments

[69problems]

"You would think they would realize they're hurting more people than they're helping," he agrees, and to a degree he really means it. He understands the need to rebel, has indulged in it himself. He knows without thinking which side of the war he's going to be on when the war comes. It's just that the war hasn't come yet, and in the meantime it's painful to see so many ill-advised attempts at rebellion end in more pain for everyone still trying to survive in the Capitol.

"People like that are so caught up in their own self-congratulatory righteousness that they don't stop to consider how far-reaching the consequences of their actions will be."

That's exactly why he bides his time, why he plays the good Mentor, why he prioritizes comforting tributes and helping them cope with the traumas they face. That actually does some concrete good for someone.

[beckstitch]

"You'd think." Beck is quiet for a moment, then raises her head, an unfamiliarly hostile set to her jaw, her lips pressed together. "They like to pretend they're the humanitarian ones. Like we're the ones who don't see them as human. But you'd think that people who say they want to protect 'the people' would realise that there's people here, too. Capitolites and Offworlders. We're just pieces on a game board to them."

[69problems]

"It's easier," he says, and there's a certain careful hesitation to his voice (because if he phrases this wrong it could go badly), "to speak of things in absolutes. It makes your own cause look more just and it undermines and devalues the voices of those who don't agree. You don't get to be considered a person unless you're on their side, and therein lies the whole problem with what they're doing. Everyone is a person. If freedom is what they think they're fighting for, they've already failed to understand it."

[beckstitch]

"Makes sense." Beck sighs heavily. "Yeah, I guess it makes sense. But easy doesn't mean right, you know? Like, I care about the Districts. Of course I do. I'm halfway to one of them. But I care about Panem more, and my people in the Capitol, my friends and... and the people I can help. I hate the idea that they could all be killed because of what's easier."

[69problems]

This is probably a good place to draw back, because if they continue down this line of thought in such a heavily-monitored place it might not go well for either of them. There is an edge here that they're walking and he knows it's better to step off it voluntarily rather than falling. Time to bring things back to why they're here in the first place and just a little further away from politics. Just far enough to be safe.

"It's not wrong to prioritize those you're most able to help. Would I like to one day go to Twelve and make the lives of the people there better? Of course. But I'm more needed here, and by helping my tributes cope with the stress of the Arenas and getting them that much closer to winning, I can also help Twelve in some small way by giving them tributes to be proud of."

and fade out?

[beckstitch]

Beck nods, sighing. "At least you've got the right idea," she says, worrying at her lip. "Now, if we can just make sure the others do, as well..."