Jason Compson IV (
whatisay) wrote in
thecapitol2015-06-15 12:02 pm
Entry tags:
Anger and No One Can Heal It [Closed]
WHO| Jason and Swann
WHAT| Jason finally sees a doctor about those headaches.
WHEN| Forward-dated a bit, after the staff reviews.
WHERE| Swann's place.
WARNINGS| Typical Jason awfulness, painkiller shenanigans.
The day he receives a notice from the human resources department that he'll need a doctor's note about his migraines before he takes any more sick days, Jason proves the second part of the notice (that he needs to enroll in an anger management course) entirely correct. He shoves an Avox over a table and slams a door so hard the lock on it breaks when it bounces back and hits him in the shoulder, and then he calls Swann. At first, he's so angry and upset she has to tell him to slow down and talk to her in person, because she can barely understand him over the phone.
"-bad enough I have to have these headaches in the first place, now I have to get proof, as if I'm faking them, and they want me to see someone for anger when maybe they shouldn't be doing things damn bound to get me worked up-"
A few days later, Swann's got him set up with an appointment with someone (a delicate operation that requires all of her tact and skill that makes her a good Escort), and Jason's demeanor's only barely improved. He's spending the night at her house, although he's anxious and distressed enough that he doesn't sleep. At about four a.m., Swann is sleeping, sprawled across him, while he just sits in her bed smoking and glowering at the wall and fidgeting.
WHAT| Jason finally sees a doctor about those headaches.
WHEN| Forward-dated a bit, after the staff reviews.
WHERE| Swann's place.
WARNINGS| Typical Jason awfulness, painkiller shenanigans.
The day he receives a notice from the human resources department that he'll need a doctor's note about his migraines before he takes any more sick days, Jason proves the second part of the notice (that he needs to enroll in an anger management course) entirely correct. He shoves an Avox over a table and slams a door so hard the lock on it breaks when it bounces back and hits him in the shoulder, and then he calls Swann. At first, he's so angry and upset she has to tell him to slow down and talk to her in person, because she can barely understand him over the phone.
"-bad enough I have to have these headaches in the first place, now I have to get proof, as if I'm faking them, and they want me to see someone for anger when maybe they shouldn't be doing things damn bound to get me worked up-"
A few days later, Swann's got him set up with an appointment with someone (a delicate operation that requires all of her tact and skill that makes her a good Escort), and Jason's demeanor's only barely improved. He's spending the night at her house, although he's anxious and distressed enough that he doesn't sleep. At about four a.m., Swann is sleeping, sprawled across him, while he just sits in her bed smoking and glowering at the wall and fidgeting.

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Swann's tried as hard as she humanly can to settle Jason down, because he's acting like it's the end of the world to have to see a doctor, and by now, even she's finding it a bit trying to deal with his childishness. Plus, her jaw has started to get really sore from coddling him and humoring the temper tantrums.
She stirs with a mumble and looks up at him, her face puffy with sleep and her hair mussed all around her face. The illuminated end of his cigarette nearly burns her eyes with brightness in the dark of the bedroom.
"You need to sleep."
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"Go back to sleep. I'm fine."
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"You cannot go to the doctor without sleeping. You're going to work yourself into an actual migraine before we even get there."
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"If I'm not sleeping it's not for lack of trying. You and everyone else act like I like having my head splitting and being too sick to see." He's still bitter that Swann didn't give him a glowing review - he doesn't know which review was hers, but he didn't receive any so full of praise as the one he gave her.
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"I know you don't, but this isn't helping." She waves the cigarette at him and clicks it off, setting it on her bedside table, then comes back to him and wraps her arms low around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder. "What do you need to fall asleep?"
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He sighs and folds his arms, neither moving her away from him nor accepting her embrace. He cracks his neck, feeling how his teeth have been grinding for the last few hours and made his jaw go tight.
"I don't want to do this. You know I don't want to do this. I should have quit as soon as people starting speculating on my mental health in those reviews. I don't see what business it is of theirs what my health is."
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She sighs and nuzzles her nose into the side of his neck, gently peppering his skin with feather-light kisses, hoping to at least calm him down a little. Her fingers stroke softly along his side, on his ribs and over his obliques, to his navel and back again. Stretching her leg, she hooks her ankle around his.
"The more you think about it, the worse it'll be. We're just going to go to the office, they'll do a scan and ask you to describe your migraines. And then you'll get a note and it'll be fine, no one can say a thing if you leave early or can't come in. Nothing bad is going to happen. You're fine, you just have headaches, it's not uncommon. They won't tell you anything you don't want to hear."
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He calms almost as a Pavlovian response, not because he wants to but because she draws it out of him. He settles deeper into the bed and half-wraps his arm around her.
"They started when my grandmother died, you know. I've had them nearly all my life."
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"It's probably just stress. Maybe even something as simple as your sinuses. They wouldn't have fixed that if they only did the tip of your nose, you know. It's nothing bad, you're fine."
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How many times did his parents arrive with only two of their children to events, while Jason stayed home with an ice pack? Those were the times he wasn't coaxed into going anyway, and would tend to hide in closets or behind couches, more ill-tempered and cruel than usual. He doesn't know how much Swann remembers.
"What if it is something? We both know my family can't stand on their own feet."
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"It isn't. But if it is, then we'll take care of it, there's always a solution. I told you before, you don't have to do things all alone anymore. I'm here."
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"I can do things on my own just fine. So long as nothing happens." He sighs again and rubs his hand over her shoulder. "Go back to sleep. No reason you should be awake just because I am. I'll make sure we don't miss the alarm."
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It's like being stuck in a bottomless pit and continuing to climb downward anyway, always wanting the treasure that must lie a few steps further down.
"No. You need to sleep too. Tell me what to do to help."
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He reaches over her to try and grab the cigarette off the nightstand. He pauses when he sees something glint off the bed's headboard, a familiar aura, and sighs.
"Well, I suppose the doctor might get to see one in the flesh."
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Swann pulls away and flops on her side, back turned to Jason. She's tired and too frustrated to keep trying right now, to keep giving when he seems entirely intent on rebuffing her at every possible turn. She'd done all the work, she's the one who takes care of him, and still he treats her like she's the problem.
She's crying from irritation, silently, tears sliding over the bridge of her nose to fall to the pillow.
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He gets up out of the bed, grabs his cigarette and throws on a bathrobe that she's gotten for him at some point. After a moment, despite the night chill, he shrugs it off and away and stalks out to the kitchen, deciding that it's not even worth the effort to try and sleep or the energy to try and console her and apologize. There doesn't seem to be much point in anything. He ignores Pascal as the little tiger follows him down the hall.
Having forsaken sleep, he starts making coffee, because why the hell not? He has to be at the doctor's in five hours anyway.
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"Swann?" He raps on her doorframe, squinting a bit in the morning light. He has the expected circles under his eyes.
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"Yeah. I'm up."
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She gets up after a moment and yawns, then heads to the closet to change. She comes back out fully dressed, petticoats and everything, then heads for her dressing table to brush her hair and do her makeup. It's so normal to her, so everyday, to transform into a doll that she can do it in a matter of minutes, a fraction of the time it takes most people. It helps that her eyeliner is tattooed on, so she doesn't have to sit around perfecting it.
Before she puts on lipstick, she follows him to the bathroom so that she can brush her teeth, standing next to him at the sink.
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"I'll take you out to lunch afterwards, if you want."
They take about the same amount of time to get ready for the day, but Swann looks significantly more done-up.
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"That'll be nice. What haven't we had in a while?"
She heads back into the bedroom and picks up a pair of earrings to put on, looking in a mirror at him over her shoulder.
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He grabs his jacket so they can head out. "I'm feeling soup? There's a nice place for that near the office."
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She picks out some shoes and slides them on, then trots out behind him. Eta's waiting at the door with their bags and travel mugs of coffee, the kind that can't tip over or be spilled, which Swann bought specifically because she was tired of not drinking coffee until she got to work. Jason's rules are insane, considering that she got an entire cake all over the car and it was fine, spotless by morning -- she feels like she can drink some coffee without making a mess.
"Okay, ready."
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they need to get painkillers for shenanigans
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omg her yolo face in that icon
ikr i've been saving it for just the right time
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shots fired
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he really doesn't deserve her
lbr no one does
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