With a thousand lies and a good disguise, hit 'em right between the eyes [Closed]

[dead_black_eyes]

Who| Linden and Phone Guy
What| Time for a Mentor to do his job and give the Tribute he kind of considers a kindred spirit some advice on how to survive.
Where| District 6 suite
When| A few days before Arena 14 starts
Warnings/Notes| When these two are in a room together, bottles of alcohol just appear. They are that mutually enabling.



The Arena's approaching quickly. Between taking last snatches and glances of people he will miss when they're pulled away to fight to the death, he's trying to actually do his job and Mentor 6's Tributes. While he doesn't think that someone as deadly as Molotov would appreciate or benefit from being approached by District 6's resident specter, he knows that a few of them would, and that's why he seeks out Phillip earlier than he's usually awake. He doesn't knock; this is disturbingly typical for him, just letting himself into rooms that aren't locked (or unlocking them without warning if he has a key; Linden's grasp of boundaries just isn't fantastic.)

"I hope you're not hungover," he says crisply. "If you are, grab a bucket and a bottle of water and follow me. We have to go down to the Training Center and work some things out before the Arena if you want a shot at surviving to the end."

Comments

[voiceinthephone]

The discussion ended with the race, as Phil smirked and said, "You're on, loser gets the next round."

He knows this is a bad idea, terrible even as he uncapped the bottle. This was classic enabling, to indulge in the very vice they were both trying to quit for the hell of it. They'll get back on the wagon...it's just one day, right? But for now, he knows that both him and Linden have hell to deal with: Phillip will head to the arena and Linden will be watching and searching for sponsors within the people relishing in death and spectacle.

Though it must be said that both their livers are marvels to behold.

[dead_black_eyes]

It's desperately reassuring to know that he's not alone and, pathetically, that there will be another bottle. It's probably the best thing he could have been told all day, and then he's opening his throat and swallowing as quickly as he can. Well... not quite as quickly as he can. He knows that he'll be sick if he forces his shrunken stomach to take in too much at once, and also that he wants to buy the next round, if only to show Phillip his appreciation for being in similarly fallen company.

"OK, all right. I'm buying," he concedes breathlessly, waving down an Avox and giving him the empty beer bottles.

[voiceinthephone]

Gray finished his bottle all the way, one can easily tell he's getting buzzed from the rush of alcohol. It's this liquid courage, or the abundance that helps him admit something, "You once asked me why I was afraid of death...I'm not afraid of it for myself. I'm afraid of losing someone else. Someone I care deeply about."

And more than Jeremy it would seem as he looked out the window. He knows that Venus is a superhero, and while he let his mind wander as to what her powers were, he pictured her taking to the skies, free and with the sun shining on her face.

"But isn't that the drama of the Hunger Games?"

[dead_black_eyes]

Linden stares glazedly straight ahead, giving that admission some clear and sincere thought.

"Someone in particular?" he asks. "It's only the 'drama of the Hunger Games' if there's a person who's different from all the others."

[voiceinthephone]

Being buzzed meant that Phil's tongue is loose and his reservations become void. "She's in District 5, Venus Dee Milo. She's experienced her fair share of Arenas...she's got poise, charm, wit, and she's beautiful. She makes me smile and I'm a complete idiot around her." His free hand hovered over his chest, as if he's trying to hold down a few emotions from slipping out with his Mentor, negative ones. "I've not felt like that in a long time, sir, I admit this. But I know we must keep a...distance from each other." The pause was his regret of making that statement back in the Arena, "She's a veteran, I'm a newbie...and I must sound ridiculous."

[dead_black_eyes]

If Linden's surprised by Phil's honesty and frankness, he's careful not to indicate as much. Even buzzed (which he frequently is), he manages to be able to hide certain emotions very well, and it's quite likely that this has saved his ass on certain past occasions.

There aren't many ways to be a rebellious former Victor and still survive, and the line between bad and careless behavior and treason is not so very well-defined in Panem.

"That sounds like love," he comments, with the tone of someone who doesn't really know what that is or entails but finds it endlessly interesting. "...and you don't sound ridiculous. Both of you are Tributes and there's technically not anything stopping you from pursuing romance, and as Peeta and Katniss sort of proved, Arena romance does not typically hurt your chances at surviving."

[voiceinthephone]

"L-Love?" The word alone was so alien that it startled some of the inebriation out of Phil, making him sat up straighter. "I-I'm sorry, I...How could that be? I told her that we were better off as friends and professional colleagues. Workplace romance is always bad, and it ends in tragedy! It's not that I don't find her attractive, witty and lovely and-" he stopped his rant, and rolled his head back, rubbing his eyes in a frustrated motion, "I'm proving your point aren't I?" That's a shot, but Gray trusts Linden to not be an ass about this. Or at least not too much.

[dead_black_eyes]

Linden watches him stammer and shift uncomfortably without blinking, just waiting it out patiently.

"Pretty much, yeah," he agrees mildly. "What does she think of you, out of curiosity? Have you had that talk, or anything like it?"

[voiceinthephone]

There's a blunt, "No. I have not...she's with someone." Or at least he THOUGHT she was. "She and another Tribute named Sam Wilson are together, I understand that."

The implications were there, to be the third wheel, and he whispered, "I'd rather her be happy than pull her away from someone she cares about. So I told her we should be friends, and maybe allies in the Arena. It's the right thing to do."

[dead_black_eyes]

"She's with someone?"

Linden repeats it like it's information that's superfluous, at best. Certainly not something that should influence a decision like pursuing her, but Phillip should know by now that such things really... don't matter as much as they should to Linden, who has turned another man into a cuckold guilt-free before.

"...but is it the right thing to do for you...?"

[voiceinthephone]

Phillip could go the morally correct route and say yes, yes it was the right thing to do...but he wanted to be with Venus so badly. He didn't feel like a ghost when she was around, he felt human and awkward with her. He felt alive with her.

"It's not, but I want her to be happy," he confessed as best he could, "I don't want to wreck whatever relationship she has because I know that it will sour things with people she's lived with for far longer. I'm a friend and I will..." he then offered Linden a small rueful smile, "I'll find someone else."

First loves are always the worst it would seem.

[dead_black_eyes]

It's a feeling Linden knows and can relate to well; he doesn't pursue the dangerous habits and vices he enjoys because he wants to die. On the contrary, he wants to live fully and in ways thay still feel like more pleasure than pain. Being alive and feeling alive are actually very different things.

"Maybe she'd be happier with you," he suggests, twisting a strand of hair idly between his fingertips before taking another drink. "At the very least you should let her know your feelings, and then leave it to her to make the decision. You can accept it , whatever it is, when all the cards are on the table."

[voiceinthephone]

That suggestion was quickly shot down, "No she wouldn't. She needs someone strong and stable, not an insomniac with guilt issues. She's a superhero, she deserves a person that's as strong as her, not a crutch to hold her down." Phillip was no stranger to self deprecation, but this one was one of the harshest he's been towards himself. "I can handle myself."

That was a load of horse crap.

[dead_black_eyes]

Linden gives him a level stare.

"So, which is it? Can you handle yourself, or are you too weak for her? You're not actually being very logical in your reasoning and I'll confess that even as tipsy as I am at present, it's messing with me."

[voiceinthephone]

"I can handle myself, but I'm not good enough for her," Phil clarified, "I don't deserve her. Call it a hunch." The man sighed out, "I know it's self defeating and I wish I could give you something more logical but it's me being honest about it. If I mess up, she deserves something better and I lose someone. If I stay away, she gets to be happy."

In other words, he's a coward about facing anything but his own demise.

[dead_black_eyes]

Linden snorts through his nose, more loudly and derisively than he would if he was sober.

"Nice guys finish last. Is that a saying in your world, too? If you can have something by reaching out and taking it, you should at least try. If you don't, you're right, you don't deserve it."

He stares into his drink. "Then again, I'm probably not one to talk. She came onto me, the one I sleep with every now and again. She slipped a packet of pills in my pocket along with her room number and a time, and that was that, but you can't depend on every potential lover to be so very direct, even here."

[voiceinthephone]

By this point, Gray knows somewhat of what sort of advice and comments to expect from his Mentor, even if they're leaving the state of Tipsy and barreling towards Blissfully Drunk. And Linden doesn't fail to deliver on that, but these are words that he needs to hear. He had to shed away those fears and self-demeaning ways and do something about what he feels for Milo.

Though the way Lockhearst described this friend, it horrified Phil to see someone so blatant in their enabling. That lady knows how dangerous and possibly life-threatening it must be, mixing all that..."She brings you pills and sleeps with you? I think I understand your previous reaction but you probably think I'm a hypocrite." Nothing says Get off drugs like holding a third bottle of beer already halfway through

[dead_black_eyes]

When it comes to being unapologetically blunt, Linden does have a talent. It's one that goes too frequently unappreciated in a city that values flattery over truth, but it finds a niche iota of respect in some of the offworlders.

"A hypocrite...? No, no it's very natural to see other people's problems more clearly than you see your own," Linden says, with more of that startling honesty. "I think that's probably true for both of us."

[voiceinthephone]

Phil thought about it, that he just rushed into things and well, here they were, "Maybe so but the only difference here is, you were clever enough to get through your Arena, brutal honesty and all." He wished he could have met Linden in an earlier time but he was truly thankful that the man was here now. In contrast, Gray was sure he'd have to die a few times before he got his chance to make right and give District 6 a victory, "I can only hope I'll get that close, you know? Or at least have a quick death. I, uh, I'm afraid of another choking death." Choking and then dismemberment...fun.

[dead_black_eyes]

"Lucky enough," Linden corrects quietly, keeping his voice down. "I've thought about it a lot. More skilled Tributes than me died and they had no way to prevent their deaths. No amount of skill or intelligence could have saved them. I could have died a total of 23 times and I lived so... it was luck. I can't take credit for it."

He shakes his head, not quite dismissively, but the overall tone and impression the gesture gives is bound to be weariness. "A Victory seems so important to you. With everyone coming back the way they do, it really isn't as important. I'd rather you were good. Someone who can be good in spite of fear is the kind of person Panem should be holding up as a hero."

[voiceinthephone]

"This place...doesn't take to that lesson unless that good person is wearing a crown. A Victory carries more resources for the District, and more help. It's important to me because I don't want to fail again," Phil confessed somberly, he couldn't outright say that Panem enjoyed breaking good people and mold them in their image. But to hear his mentor say that, he simply raised his glass, "To staying the course then?"

[dead_black_eyes]

"Don't buy into what they tell you about Victors having everything from money to fame to influence," Linden says, continuing to keep his voice down. "That's true to an extent, but not nearly the one that you'd think. Even Careers who dedicate their lives to winning the Hunger Games don't, not even nearly."

Even those who try to do something with their victories, instead of squander them, as I've been perceived to.

He raises his bottle before taking a deep drink, not repeating the toast but liking the excuse to swallow.

[voiceinthephone]

Phillip catches this and he asks as soon as he finishes the possibly last bottle for the session, "As an offworlder who is curious...what can Victors do beyond guiding their Tributes? Do they have any say in the decisions of the government?" As it turns out, and from what he sees from Emily Finch and the others, there's nothing Victors can do other than be advertisement for the Capitol.

"I hope that's not disrespectful of me to ask. I wouldn't want to cause trouble."

[dead_black_eyes]

Linden's gaze is bleary and unfocused, but fortunately his mind isn't yet. His tolerance is high for such an insubstantial wisp of a man, and though they might be stopping here, he's not managed to drink himself to the point where he doesn't even remember his own name. That's some kind of achievement, some kind of success.

The question gets two raised eyebrows, and then a harsh, loud bark of laughter that his hand flies up quickly to stifle.

"Say in the... no, no, that's... no," he says breathlessly. "That would be something, wouldn't it? People listen to us. We have influence over things like trends and general opinions but even those are... to an extent, regulated. If most of the Capitol knew what I really thought... let's just say it's better that they see me as a washed-up addict."

[voiceinthephone]

The harsh laughter was pretty much confirmation of something Phil suspected: Victors were trophies to be displayed and paraded until they broke too deeply and then tossed aside and ridiculed to no end. The Tribute then responded in a piecemeal answer, "So we all enjoy everything and agree for the good of the nation?"