♓ Feferi Peixes // cuttlefishCuller (
fintastic) wrote in
thecapitol2015-05-15 01:34 pm
Entry tags:
(no subject)
Who| Feferi and Dave
What| an impromptu "study session"
Where| Feferi's room
When| a few days after school starts
Warnings/Notes| teenagers and feelings mostly
One of the plus sides of this whole school business was that the need to study outside of class gave Feferi even more of an excuse to hang around Dave. Not that she needed an excuse to begin with, but it's nice to have one, and pretend like she's doing something other than stealing glances at his cute face, and trying to mentally play connect the dots with his freckles. He's just so cute that it's unfair, and if the past couple weeks have taught her anything, it's that he just gets cuter by the day. It's getting to be a problem.
There's just something about being there for him that sets her heart a-flutter. When he comes to her looking all forlorn like a lost purrbeast, she just wants to build a little pillow nest and put him in it and protect him. It's getting hard to pretend that she doesn't pity him while also pretending that she does and keeping up this fake-but-sort-of-not-anymore thing they've got going on for show.
The business with him trying to kiss her didn't help either.
But then, she still has Sollux to think about. What's the shelf-life on a severed relationship? If he comes back will it even be the same Sollux from the same timeline? Would he remember anything that happened before? If she were to go back, would he be there waiting for her, or would he be off wandering the Farthest Ring with Aradia? There's just too many what-ifs and that's not how she likes to live her life, worrying about things that may or may not happen.
And at this point, it still remains to be seen if he ever will come back. She has a long life ahead of her and it seems to her a disservice to the people she loves and who love her back to waste it away just waiting. Anyone who knows her should know better than to think she could ever thrive that way.
But for right now, with this dumb, adorable human boy sitting nearby? It's enough just to try and concentrate on the page she's already read six times. Sitting cross-legged on her bed, she has to fight to look at the page, instead of making silly faces and fin gestures at him. It's geography, which she actually kind of enjoys, as harmless as it is, but her mind is elsewhere. Maybe a study session wasn't such a great idea, if she had any intention of getting work done.
What| an impromptu "study session"
Where| Feferi's room
When| a few days after school starts
Warnings/Notes| teenagers and feelings mostly
One of the plus sides of this whole school business was that the need to study outside of class gave Feferi even more of an excuse to hang around Dave. Not that she needed an excuse to begin with, but it's nice to have one, and pretend like she's doing something other than stealing glances at his cute face, and trying to mentally play connect the dots with his freckles. He's just so cute that it's unfair, and if the past couple weeks have taught her anything, it's that he just gets cuter by the day. It's getting to be a problem.
There's just something about being there for him that sets her heart a-flutter. When he comes to her looking all forlorn like a lost purrbeast, she just wants to build a little pillow nest and put him in it and protect him. It's getting hard to pretend that she doesn't pity him while also pretending that she does and keeping up this fake-but-sort-of-not-anymore thing they've got going on for show.
The business with him trying to kiss her didn't help either.
But then, she still has Sollux to think about. What's the shelf-life on a severed relationship? If he comes back will it even be the same Sollux from the same timeline? Would he remember anything that happened before? If she were to go back, would he be there waiting for her, or would he be off wandering the Farthest Ring with Aradia? There's just too many what-ifs and that's not how she likes to live her life, worrying about things that may or may not happen.
And at this point, it still remains to be seen if he ever will come back. She has a long life ahead of her and it seems to her a disservice to the people she loves and who love her back to waste it away just waiting. Anyone who knows her should know better than to think she could ever thrive that way.
But for right now, with this dumb, adorable human boy sitting nearby? It's enough just to try and concentrate on the page she's already read six times. Sitting cross-legged on her bed, she has to fight to look at the page, instead of making silly faces and fin gestures at him. It's geography, which she actually kind of enjoys, as harmless as it is, but her mind is elsewhere. Maybe a study session wasn't such a great idea, if she had any intention of getting work done.

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There's one person's opinion just a little important than the nameless faces of the judgment festival that is his life. It's Feferi's, obviously. He doesn't think she's stupid, he doesn't expect she's dense enough to think he laid one on her because it seemed like a totally normal and appropriate thing to do. It feels like she's on to him, even if he has no way to be sure. He has no idea what she thinks of it, but the fact that she isn't recoiling in disgust is a good thing, generally speaking.
He understands girls.
All feelings aside, he can't bring himself to distance himself from her for his own pride. He has no pride, he's clingy and desperate for attention and in dire need of the kind of friendly comfort she hands out like it's fucking candy. Not hanging out with her would be like skipping Halloween to study, and he doesn't play ball like that. Or at all, but that's irrelevant. She's his friend more than anything and being around her is as fun as ever, which is good because they have a painful stage show to perform for the cameras every time they hit the streets.
School and study is such a normal thing that it's abnormal. It's easy to get lost in it despite all attempts to convey his disinterest in it. He has a map of Panem laid out in front of him and tracing the eraser of his pencil along the shapes reminds him of charting stars and coordinates for Rose in the vast corners of the universe. This isn't remotely normal either, but it sort of seems like it is. As such, he hasn't noticed that she's watching him when he's thinking deep thoughts about himself, but the desire to say something innocuous takes hold.
"I always thought Panem was a straight line." He drags his pencil eraser in a line to illustrate his point, then scrambles for a piece of paper to doodle on. "Like, the biggest blob is the Capitol here and then-" He begins to draw twelve smaller blobs in a straight line before pushing the paper toward her, drawing in a breath to continue before he exhales in surprise. "I thought Panem was shaped like a penis."
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"You thought it looked like a human bulge? Is there something that you are not telling me?" She gives him an expectant look, like she's trying to hint at something (what, she doesn't even know, it just seems like the right thing to say when someone crudely draws human body parts) before she takes her own pencil and starts adapting his drawing into a still-phallic looking whale. The Capitol comprises its head, and she adds flippers on the sides, and a tail, before giving it back to him. "I guess I never really thought about what it looked like... it's smaller than I thought. Like there would be more to it, and also less ocean."
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"No, I'm telling you everything." He tries to sound matter-of-fact and not embarrassed with the hill he's already pushing this conversation down. He chooses instead to watch her turn a dick into a whale, not remotely surprised that she's capable of it. He gives it a look of consideration, mouth scrunched as he tries to figure out what it's missing. "Guess it has that in common with some people and their dicks." Some people. Not all dicks. Speaking of, he's started to draw Snow on top of the whale, riding it rodeo style. It only exists for a few minutes before he scribbles his pencil all over it and scrunches the paper up, tossing it over his shoulder.
"Beauty is fleeting." He needed to justify that somehow, right? "You know, I never thought being enlisted into repetitious cycles of murder and media circuses could get worse, but then they added school. Like, how do you look at this situation as a whole and think forced education is a solid addition to it? We could be doing so much more, like. Uh." He cycles his hand through the air, as if allowing her to fill in the gap he seems to have open for her.
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"It could be worse." She decides to give up on the book she was trying to read and scoots closer to him, pushing the book and her papers closer to the edge of the bed with her foot. "At least we have time to be going to school. They could just make a never-ending Arena. Or make it tournament style. Or find somewhere else to send us. Like... somewhere that does not involve sitting around listening to someone talk all day?" She doesn't know where she's going with that. "What else were you doing with your day anyway, besides drawing human bulges and eating cheeseburgers?"
Sure, she likes to get on his case for reducing her to being about nothing but fish and fish-related things, but turnabout is fair play. Besides, she's more endeared by his bizarre human inclinations than put off. She doesn't understand them all, but they have their own strange charm.
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Then she scoots closer and he really can't help reading into it. It's like a little alarm is going off and he's about to tear his whole house apart finding it. His stare flicks from her books and back to her face in an instant, he's decidedly determined not to distract her from whatever... this.. is. Even if it's nothing. He won't be disappointed. It's probably nothing, he's kind of disappointed.
"Everything could be worse, there are always a hundred different ways to add crap to a sundae. It's getting it out that's the hard part." He's not even sure if he's being sincerely deep or just spouting shit at this point, but the need to intensifies now that he can feel himself floundering a little. Damn it, just be cool. Channel the Stark vibe, the Strider vibe. Whatever. Just say something not stupid.
"Not a damn thing." Yep. Nailed it. "But we could do that shit together. I guess. If it pleases her Royal Highness, since she's taken such a shine to institutionalized brain slavery." He twists his hands just a little, just so he can barely press the pads of his fingers against her hand like he's almost holding them.
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"We could do that. Or..." With a small surge of confidence, she goes in for the full snuggle, leaning against his should, dipping her head so that her nose just barely brushes his cheek. "Or maybe we could stay right here, and forget about studying and cheeseburgers for a little while."
You know what? No, she's just going to go for gold, or silver at least, and on a whim, places an impromptu kiss on his cheek. It's not much, but there aren't any cameras (that care) turned on them right now. No one to see all this choice affection she's laying on him. This is the real deal.
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Then it all goes blank when she brushes against his cheek, and he hopes to god it isn't heating as rapidly as it feels like it is. Is this revenge? Is this an elaborate prank? The voices are starting up again, getting up to louder volumes as he begs himself to question her without seeming uncool.
He feels her kiss him. He definitely feels it. It makes everything stop yet again and he can't help glancing around for cameras before settling his stare back on her. His brows are raised, then they furrow and he realises he's probably been quiet for a little too long. "What the hell?" Ah, yes. Chivalrous and well spoken as ever. He feels like he should try to fix that, but how. He opens his mouth, closes it, fidgets and mutters something incomprehensible even to him. He really has no idea what he just said.
"What? What. Shut up. What? Fuck you, don't give me an aneurysm, would you? I didn't meant that- I mean. Did you mean that? I mean did you mean to do that, not did you mean what I just said because of course you didn't. You didn't even say it. Help."
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He brought this on himself, really, when he tried to pull that on her. And since he's not telling her to back off, she's just going to go ahead and give him another quick peck. "And it happened again!" And one more, just for good measure. "It just keeps happening! I'm sorry but I cannot save you now!"
Hopefully, she's reading his sputtering disbelief right, or else this is going to be kind of embarrassing. But as of late, he's been sticking to her like a barnacle, that's got to be good for something, right? And he's not a troll, she can expect there to be any ambiguity on whether this is pale or flushed. By process of elimination, what else is there?
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Only he's starting know damn well why it would, and probably for a good reason. It's not impossible for her to have a similar sort of feeling for him. Right? He just has a hard time believing it with his huge nonexistent ego.
He's absolutely getting flustered by this point, god damn it. Every kiss is like a sick burn he has no good response for but he also doesn't want it to stop. "God damn it." He grunts, finally reaching out to grab her cheeks in an effort to make her stop. He isn't holding very tightly, just enough to steady her so he can level a squint on her. "Listen here... Missy." He cringes at that godawful pet name and just himself in general, because grabbing her face and leaning in was a terrible idea. "Are you going to explain the thing or am I going to have to interrogate you?" Why did he give her an option.
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"I think the thing is pretty obvious!" She could string him on a little longer, but she's not going to be that mean. She's already teased him enough for the time being. "I mean, usually when you kiss someone, it's because you like them. I was just returning the favor."
Was that obvious enough? Maybe not. She leans her head against his head, her grin smoothing out into something more affectionate. "I really like you, Dave. I am not just saying that because we have a fakey-fake relationship, I mean it for real. Maybe... I don't want it to be fake anymore."
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"You thought wrong." He points out impatiently, looking for answers like he's knee deep in Christmas presents he can't open yet for whatever godawful reason. Then boom, there's the present, just dumped all perfectly on his lap. There's a moment of silence and he leans his ear forward like he wasn't sure he heard her, but he doesn't ask her to repeat herself.
"Well, I mean. Duh." He snorts, and it's ugly, shrugging his shoulders as flippantly as you can when he has his hands on her face. Finally he gets the inkling that whenever he opens his mouth dumb words come out, so in lieu of admitting his own feelings he just leans in and presses his lips against hers as gently as he can. Wouldn't want to be too rough about basically confirming that you like someone right back.
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All the fake ones, of course, didn't count. And the one she wasn't expecting. She's calling mulligan on that one.
When she does finally take a moment to break off, she sighs contentedly, tilting her head as she studies his face. "Sooo..." Her fins and cheeks are bright pink; now is definitely not the time to get sheepish, but here she is. A kiss should seal the deal, but she wants to make sure there's no misunderstanding between them. "It's real, then?"
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He doesn't want it to stop, especially when she deepens it, but he lets her pull back and he can't help the fact that he looks incredibly fucking goofy when he smiles back at her. "Realer than Eminem's personal dream journal." He nods, then he realises she has no idea what that probably means. "So, uh. Yeah. If you want it to be. I definitely want that." His smile twitches because it's really damn hard not to smile wider when he notices that her fins are pink too.
"You're my favourite thing about this place." He can't help reaching out a hand so he can tuck her hair behind her fin, then tweaks it because he can. Nope. Not weird at all. "I like you too. If that wasn't painfully obvious already."
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"It kind of was really super obvious, to be honest," she scoffs. Once she got over trying to console him, it just seemed like a duh moment. She should have said something earlier, but she needed the time to figure herself out a bit more too. "I guess you are maybe... my second favorite thing. Sorry, but the aquarium is here is pretty awesome."
Just because they're for real now doesn't mean she's going to stop hassling him. If anything, he'd better be prepared because he might as well have given her carte blanche to give him a hard time.
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This is the happiest he's been in. Like. Ever. He can't remember the last time he had such a hard time not grinning like an idiot. "Guess I'll never get an Oscar now." He sounds as rueful as possible, his amusement at her second response coming out as a huff more than a laugh.
"Yeah? We'll see how long that lasts. I'm gonna boyfriend the crap out of you, the fish tanks won't stand a chance." And to illustrate his dedication, he pushes his shades off his face and into his hands. He isn't really sheepish about his eyes anymore, it's just the principal of the thing. He feels incredibly mushy and incredibly saccharine, but with her it seems perfectly okay to do that. As such, he doesn't feel too shy about moving in to plant another kiss on her lips while remaining splayed over the top of her.
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"You've got some pretty big competition..." She trails off as he moves in for the kiss, and while she kisses him back, she lets out a long, contented sigh, the rest of her relaxing. She can be pretty high strung, but with the hard part over, she's eager to try and calm down some, and just enjoy the moment. The first chance she gets, the briefest pause, she finds it in her to finish her thought. "You're off to a good start, though."
The brief thought that maybe this is a time to have a real conversation about what all of this means for them comes and goes right back to his sweet, warm kisses.
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It doesn't really matter now, he's still a little shocked by it all. When everything seems to go wrong, it's almost dizzying how good something right feels. He's not sure where to go with it, but he knows he wants to make the most out of it for both of them. He can do everything he never did and try everything he never tried, but that's cause for his own reflection and it's harder to swallow that down when he wants the best for her.
"Speaking of starts.." He trails off with a murmur, a hand moving to lace with hers. "I know we've already gone public with being a thing, but.. What exactly are we? Is there a term for inter-xeno relationships that we need to coin?" He's edging toward talking about quadrants, talking about the fact that relationships involving more than one person and that he selfishly wants to keep her to himself if he can.
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"We could if you wanted to, but I just figured it was flushed." Leave it up to a human to not know the first thing about quadrants, but he's cute, so he can get away with it. "We can call it human dating or whatever you use if you want, though. I guess it doesn't really matter that much what we call it."
Maybe even treating it like human romance would do her some good. She'd have to be pretty oblivious to not realize how much trolls are viewed as vaguely subhuman; she's going to need all the help she can get to humanize herself a little more in their eyes, if she's going to climb the social ladder like she plans.
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"I don't want to shoehorn you into anything you don't want to be." He moves his hands to tap a rhythm idly on her wrist with his fingers to soothe himself from babbling into a corner. "It's not the word that doesn't work for me. It's the quadrants." He hates saying it so soon, because he feels like he's ruining the mood way too quickly. He's far more accustomed to pretending these things aren't a problem, but he wants her to hear it from him and not someone else.
"Last time I tried it out, it didn't go so great. I mean, probably not as godawful as things went for you, but I think we can call Eridan his own isolated case of awful." Which makes him consider that the things that happened with Terezi could be the exact same thing, it's the circumstances that make all the difference, so.. "If you wanted to date someone else, you'd tell me, right?"
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"Of course I would tell you!" She can't imagine a scenario where she wouldn't be up front with one partner about her other quadrants. It doesn't seem very productive to her, if she can't create harmony of some kind between them. "If it makes you feel better, I don't really have any other prospects right now. I have other things to worry about, besides trying to find a new moirail."
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He seems to relax against her, humming agreeably and moving his arms up and under her so they can circle around her waist. "Cool." Is his only response, trying to compensate for rambling them around in a circle. "I gotta say though, humans are the whole package. We do all the quadrants at once, so you probably won't even need a Mwah-Rail."
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"Wade a minnow." Feferi might not ramble when she's feeling off-balance, but the fish puns do come out in full force. It doesn't help much, but they're comfortable. "You wouldn't prefer human girlfrond, would you? I won't be mad if you say yes, if this is just a good opperchtunity or waterebber..." Reel it in, Peixes. Very few things make her nervous, but the prospect of this relationship already being doomed sets her on edge a little. She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, and continues on with as few puns as she can manage. "I really just want us to have a chance. What if I can't be all those things for you at once like another human could?"
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"No! Hell no." He purses his lips and it almost looks like he's pouting down at her, particularly when his brows furrow together to match. "I didn't mean to imply that, alright? I've just been fucked over before." He lowers his voice to a grumble, hesitant to admit the stupid little sore spot he has for quadrant nonsense. He settles himself back down once he's been suitably dramatic about it all, gingerly lifting his hand so he can cup her face and feel like his own dramatic, teen movie. "I don't want you to be all those things. I just want you to be you, that's what matters to me. Everything else we'll figure out as we go, alright?"
He feels so saccharine right now it aches, even more so because the words are as sincere as they are lame. He's glad nobody else is privy to him vomiting out cheesy lines, now he just needs to hope Feferi doesn't laugh in his face for it.
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"Okay, okay, point taken!" Giving his hand a little squeeze, she hooks her free arm around his shoulders to pull him in closer again. "We will do the human thing, just so long as we can get back to that other thing we were doing."
Really, a simple no would have been enough for her, but if his rambling didn't endear her at least a little, they wouldn't be here right now. The habit might even start rubbing off on her a little, but at the moment, she's got her priorities.
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"We don't have to call it one way or the other yet. We can compromise." The last thing he wants to do is trap her or make her unhappy, and he knows she feels the same way. Now that he's said it, it feels more like he's willing to work with whatever she gives him rather than trying to be stubborn one way or the other.
"Until then, you can be my, uhh... Gillfrond. I guess. And I can be your Dave because I don't need a nickname." He nods, knowing that won't fly but saying it anyway.
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Running her fingers through his hair, she musses it up a little, then smooths it back out again; rinse and repeat. She's content enough to just see what happens, since she certainly doesn't have any other quadrant prospects anyway, and arguing about it isn't in her nature. Plus, it would kind of ruin the moment. She just doesn't want to let him down, but if he's okay with it (whatever it is), she is too.
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Another sincere smile forms on his lips, it's small and definitely shy but it's there. "Better than the aquarium?" He'll take the hair mussing in his stride, finding he very much enjoys the sensation to the point where he'd like it if there were a way for her to never, ever stop.
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As funny as the thought is, she's not going to get off topic again. They have plenty of time to talk, she has other things in mind. She pushes herself up as much as she can and pulls him down the rest of the way, to pull him back into another kiss. More relaxed now, she's got a lot of missed smooching to make up for, for all the time they were pretending to not really be into each other while pretending to be into each other.
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He has a fondness for birds above most animals, after all. Penguins are where their interests cross over, given that there tends to be a section for them in a lot of aquariums.
Even so, he's happy to let the conversation pitter out when he does. He's more interested in making up for all the times he wanted to kiss her and didn't, so this is pretty goddamn cathartic. If he stays here all afternoon, he probably won't even notice.