The Binding of Isaac

[gamemakers]

Who| All those who signed up for the plot!
What| Capitol rebels attempt a break in and dismantling of dangerous weaponry.
Where| In a warehouse just beyond the very end of the cityline
When| Some time following Arena 13
WARNINGS| Please specify warnings in tag headers.
NOTES | Remember that if you did not sign up, it will be assumed you are not participating in the plot. Plotting can be found here! IC plotting is here!

Comments

[sizeofyourbaggage]

Jet doesn’t need to be Steve or Initiate. Jet is Jet, and Sam loves him in a different way than he does Kurloz or Steve, but he’s more than good enough. Maybe it’s a little bit selfish, but if Jet’s offering that kind of support right now, Sam’s going to take it.

It’s stupid for both of them to make promises like this, but maybe Sam needs a little bit of stupid right now. It’d been bad enough when he only had one person on his list of people he couldn’t fucking lose, but now he’s somehow ended up with something like six, and one is unreachable, two are captured, and a fourth is probably about two seconds from running off and doing something that’s going to get himself killed. Even if he knows it’s ultimately not entirely up to them, right now he needs to lie to himself, needs Jet to lie to him, just a little.

He lets out a heavy breath, trying to keep it slow, but gives up on trying to center himself through his breathing. He needs something a little more concrete right now, and he gives in and starts counting Jet’s heartbeat. Sam’d stopped himself before, when he caught himself doing it with Bucky and Clint, but right now? Fuck it, Jet’d promised he was going to be here and Sam can ground himself using the heartbeat of someone he cares about if he wants to.

“This. Just this.”

[metalicarus]

"Alright."

He could do this. They couldn't stay there forever, eventually they'd be found, but they were tucked away and there was enough going on that they had some privacy for a little while. Long enough to get functional again, long enough to at least step back out into that insanity waiting for them and act like they hadn't just had holes punched in their worlds.

"As long as you need."

[sizeofyourbaggage]

Sam nods, swallowing again, and doesn't bother replying to that. He just closes his eyes, hanging on to Jet and working on just letting himself breathe. It's easier when he matches the rise and fall of his chest to Jet's, and he feels less guilty about doing that than about counting Jet's heartbeats. At least the breathing is an "approved" exercise. For a long few minutes, he just sits there, arms around Jet and holding on tight.

"Thanks," he murmurs.

For a moment, Sam considers leaving it at that. He doesn't want to fess up about how he forgot how to make friends, about how after Riley he didn't really have any until he met Steve, that it was only Steve and Nat until he got here. He hasn't told anyone that, even though he's hinted at it a little with Steve.

But Nat is gone, Albert's unreachable, and Steve and Kurloz are - he doesn't want to risk another friend gone without knowing what they mean to him.

"I don't - the only friends I've got are the ones that're here. It - this - means a lot to me." His tone is halting, different from what it's been in the past even when talking about the tough shit, but for once, he doesn't actually have a lot of experience in this.

[metalicarus]

Jet can here the difference in how Sam talks, like it's less practiced, something unfamiliar and it reminds him of his own inability to express emotions and ideas sometimes. He couldn't say he was in the same boat, Jet had plenty of friends not only here, but back home (if there was a home to go back to) but he knew what it was like to feel like making friends was next to impossible, especially if you felt like there was no one to connect to. His hold turned tighter for a moment, a hug wile still keeping his arms wrapped around Sam.

He wished he could promise Sam would lose the friends he had, but that was impossible, both of the ones already gone and the ones still around. Anything could happen, they just had to be ready to adapt.

"I know it might be hard to believe me or it might even sound like I'm talking out my ass, but I don't think you'll be alone like that again, not even here. You've picked yourself a bunch of stubborn jackasses to keep around, so we'll stick with you even when things get more rough than they already are." He gave a slightly self-deprecating smile over Sam's head so he wouldn't see it. "And for the record, I feel pretty honored to fall in that group." He felt honored to be Sam's friend, to be the kind of friend Sam hadn't made back home. Sam was someone special which made that whole thing even more so.

[sizeofyourbaggage]

Sam huffs out a quiet chuckle, shaking his head. “Yeah, well. I’m kind of a stubborn jackass myself, figures I had to go ahead and surround myself with the same.”

Maybe it was intentional. Maybe Sam saw something in them that he knew was reflected in himself, maybe that’s one of the things that drew him to all of them after he’d spent too damn long keeping himself cut off - but really, Sam’s not in the mood to do any soul searching right now.

He’s not exactly in the mood to do much of anything at the moment, but he knows they have to get back to the others, that he has to pull himself together, to keep going.

That he has to remember that he knows how to do this, it’s what he’s been learning for the last four years.

“Guess we better get back before it starts looking suspicious.”

[metalicarus]

"Yeah." He didn't want to, for both of their sakes. For him, at least, it was technically easier now, he was still supposed to be mourning a husband he'd only learned was alive hours ago, now he was mourning a close friend. Capitolites wouldn't see a difference. Sam couldn't mourn anyone, he had to pretend it was all fine.

Jet gave one final squeeze of a hug as though it could push all of Sam's pieces back into place for at least a moment, but then pulled away and stood. He offered his hand to help Sam up, but he was already looking around again.

"Don't think it'll look too weird for us to walk out of here together, they already think we're having some damn affair or another." He looked back to his friend. "If it gets too hard for you out there, you can always come to my place and be sad or angry or whatever you need to be, okay?"