[closed] quiet now in sleepy dreams

[crabmunicator]

Who| Karkat and Nill
What| Karkat is being dumb about sleeping right.
Where| District 9.
When| During the week between Dave's death and return.
Warnings/Notes| Violent imagery in Karkat's nightmare.

The worst things about waiting for your best friend to come back from death is that there's always the possibility that he might not. As the days stretch it's this thought that catches at Karkat, worrying him, needling his mind whenever he thinks he's found a calm moment. Often enough he's come up to stick around district 9's suite, lingering in the kitchen or the commons, or today standing right beside Dave's door. He's not in it, not back yet, but he waits. Just in case. He might come here still.

But for all that worry and anxiety, he hasn't slept. He barely sleeps anyway, waking too early from bad dreams or simply keeping himself up and awake, refusing to let himself deal with inevitable daymares, nightmares, whichever. It hasn't helped the other days when he's gone down and trained himself to a physical exhaustion to match the mental, but even relaxation and warm showers don't make the latter go away.

It's obvious, too. Karkat may always carry the look of someone who doesn't sleep enough, but the bags under his eyes are darker, the droop of his lids dips a little too long, his focus is off. As he leans at the wall, arms crossed, his chip tips more than once when a blink last a little too long. Still he doesn't leave, and he doesn't let himself rest.

Comments

[crabmunicator]

Bad dream. That's indistinct, and pretty obvious the more he tries to focus his still-sleepy mind, and doesn't really tell him what he wants to know. But should he ask, if she's only telling that? Why only that?

He frowns at her for a moment, then pushes at the blankets some more so he can get off the bed.

"I'm going to go use the gaper and get a drink of water," he says as he approaches the door, only to pause and glance at her. "I'll be back."

[reassures]

Ahaha... Nill smiles, and offers him another quick and slightly awkward wave as he leaves, actually moving to take a seat on the bed instead of leaving her knees braced against the mattress like she has up until this point. She waits until he's a couple of steps down the hall before she actually goes to roll up her sleeve and inspect the damage.

There are obvious indentations in her skin where his teeth were sinking in, and a few have tiny red dots in the middle, burst blood vessels from the pressure. If she hadn't gotten him to stop when she did, or if she hadn't been wearing a long-sleeve shirt, he might have broken the skin. There are a few darker spots that will no doubt form into unpleasant bruises later, but it's not even a concern, or anything that she considers indicative of damage. She's always been quick to bruise, and aside from how it might look later it probably won't be anything worse than slightly sore. There aren't even holes in the sleeve. She rolls it down again quickly enough, and then if Karkat's not back she'll probably peek out the door. It would figure if Dave showed up now.

[crabmunicator]

It's in the restroom that Karkat's mind really settles on what happened. The dream he had is a weight in the back of his mind, some unpleasant mix of blood, lava, and self-hatred. Nill was in it, he's sure the more he thinks about it, but that's a bit distant. Instead he wonders whether he bit her. Close as she was, he might have... but it's hard to tell much from a mouth that feels dry and tastes no blood.

But she stopped him. Whether from the dream or from biting her or both, she stopped him - and even if the latter, she had to be there for the dream first. More than that, she had her hand on his face, papping him down to calmness. She can't have meant it that way, did she? She didn't mention it. But then she didn't answer the biting question, either.

He chews his lip.

After a cold splash of water to grant alertness (if not wakefulness) he heads back out for the kitchen. His steps are slow, though, and after pouring his water he lingers in drinking it.

It's not just the papping, when he thinks about it. She got him to sleep, didn't she? He was half-asleep at the time, but that kind of concern... And she's popped by to give him sandwiches or tea while he's waited for Dave to show (which he still hasn't). In retrospect, the way he fussed at her in the arena could have taken a certain color, too.

He stares hard at his half-empty glass until he hears a door open; he empties it then and leaves the kitchen.

"I'm fine." He looks reddish around the cheeks. "Can I sleep more?" He's still tired, and he might as well save her worry.

[reassures]

Nill has her priorities, and telling Karkat that he managed to bite her in his sleep is about the precise opposite of anything even remotely close to those priorities.

She's not quite expecting the slight red tinge in his grey cheeks, even keeping in mind the situation before he left, and Nill nods quickly, wings fluttering awkwardly against her back. She nods, steps aside to let him in the room again, and then goes about gather up the notebook, book, and various writing tools that she'd been using while he slept. Before now it hadn't really occurred to her that maybe staying in the room was a bad idea, but now she's not completely sure that it's a good idea, either. Maybe it was time she took up residence on one of the couches.

[crabmunicator]

He doesn't offer any explanation. If he plays things off as normal, then there's nothing to worry about, right? With her go ahead, he steps back inside.

"You, uh, don't have to stay here," comments Karkat as he goes for the bed. He sits on the edge; he'll have to sort out the covers before he lays down again. "I've dealt with daymares before, and unless the horrorterrors start poking their noodly appendages around my dreams then it won't be the worst that has happened. I'll be fine."

Avoiding her gaze, he sets to straightening the blankets.

[reassures]

Crud. She hadn't actually thought of that too much. Karkat getting more sleep is obviously the best ideal in this scenario, but usually if she has bad dreams they tend to prevent her from actually falling asleep again... or scare her away from trying to sleep. But if Karkat went back to sleep and if he had more--

are you sure?

She obviously looks a little conflicted on the matter, and definitely worried.

[crabmunicator]

Oh god, kill him now. A concerned look might not mean much normally, and be perfectly in place for a concerned friend, but the preoccupation of Karkat's mind means he can't take it alone. She's already convinced him to get some rest, and she woke him from a nightmare, so sticking around out of concern could only be for the same reason. A croaking sort of noise hits around his throat, and he resumes not looking at her.

"Yep. I'm fine. Absolutely fine." His voice is too tight. He waves a shooing hand at her. "Watching me sleep is probably boring."

[reassures]

What is happening right now. Nill blinks, and some obvious confusion finds it's way into her expression. It doesn't beat out the concern at all of course, but the cause is obvious enough. What was that sound he just made..? Should she be worried?

At the same time his cheeks are looking a little less grey and a little more cherry red, and maybe that's a sign that this was indeed something she should not have done as far as his societal implications.

That's the part that makes Nill's own cheeks go red. Her wings flutter for the hundredth time, and though she nods she still looks a little hesitant. She does take a moment to cross the room and fish a pack of cigarettes out of her desk before she writes another message.

let me know if you need anything.

If he doesn't say much else on the matter Nill is gonna head back out to the common room. And smoke with her head out one of the windows so it doesn't stink up the place.

[crabmunicator]

Karkat catches sight of her face in passing. Avoiding her face only has so much limit, and nearby motion is too much temptation. Why is she red now? He ends up plopping his face into a covering palm, and he wants to curse for how warm his cheeks feel.

No, nothing he needs, not a bit. Nothing but to maybe be alone and calm the fuck down and oh god everything is awkward. He waves her off without a word, and once she's gone he mashes his face into her pillow to cut off the urge to scream.

(He can be quiet when he wants. He's just not good at it.)