thecapitol | I'd be the luckiest man in the universe. [closed]

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I'd be the luckiest man in the universe. [closed]

Who| Dave and Feferi
What| Friends reuniting after the Arena, friends doing things friends don't do.
Where| Feferi's room, D1.
When| After the Arena
Warnings/Notes| N/A

It's been a few weeks since Dave last saw Feferi. It feels longer and shorter than it should have been, what with going home and coming back to find he'd been gone a whole week. He's had time to deal with it since then. He's sulked and spent time alone in an effort too repress all the conflicting feelings it's giving him. But hey, what's a few more repressed feelings on top of all the other ones, right?

If there's one feeling he can't repress, it's the fact that he's eager to see Feferi again. Really, really eager. It feels weird not being joined at the hip with her, and it probably shouldn't, but he's started to acknowledge that she's good at making him feel. Well. Good. He doesn't actively watch Arenas, but he keeps track enough to know that she should be back about now. It's a friend thing, though. It's totally a friend thing. Warm, fuzzy friend feelings. That feeling of anticipation you get when you see a friend and there is nothing but platonic feelings so you don't need to obsess. You definitely don't need to keep fixing your mop of hair, your shirt is fine. Is that ketchup on your pants? You're a fucking disaster.

Maybe she went home as well. Maybe she won't come back. Maybe he's getting really tired of worrying about this shit as he catches the elevator down to her floor. He can't help feeling a powerful kind of anxiety when he knocks on her door. It's loud for good measure and it's followed by his voice in it's usual variety of low and deadpan.

"Room service, open up." And if she doesn't in a timely manner, he's going to slowly edge the door open.

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Instantly, Dave feels a little sheepish for waking her up. He feels a little like he's imposing, but in her typical fashion it just doesn't seem like Feferi minds all that much. It's a relief to hear her voice and even more of one to see her face. He doesn't quite notice it, but a small smile crosses his lips when she opens the door.

"I'm your wake up call, or whatever." He points out, sidling in when she lets him so he can glance around her room before he turns back to her. His initial answer to her question is no, but he can't really bring himself to say as much so he ignores it.

"I've been worse." He answers cryptically, moving on as he always does. "Can't I visit my friend abruptly and unexpectedly after Murderville without the third degree? Wow. Maybe I'm just here to look at your stuff."

"Well... here it is, my stuff!" She gestures around the room, though she hasn't done much to personalize it. "It is a lot of the same stuff as yours."

With the tour complete, she heads back to her bed, rearranging the covers so that she can drape them over herself when she sits, making a little cocoon. Only her horns and face stick out. "You have never seemed like the randomly-stop-by type, I kind of thought that was my job. To be honest, I am feeling a little threatened here!"

She reaches her hand out from underneath her blanket coccoon, and pats the spot on the bed next to her, beckoning for him to come sit down with her.

"Yeah, but mine is better." Better in that it's exactly the same, only it's covered in doodles the Avoxes aren't allowed to clean and covered in stickers and decals for that worn hipster feel. It is, decidedly, less interesting to look at her furniture when she's going about the business of being cute. In that moment, not only is he infinite, but he sort of reaches an apex of understanding his feelings.

He likes her. Shit. He really likes her. No wonder he misses her, no wonder she makes him happy. It doesn't feel like they've even known each other long, but it's been months. Months of awkwardly bumbling around one another through all the obstacles a violent dystopia can provide, and it's only now that he's starting to realise he'd probably do anything for her. Which answers her question, incidentally, but he won't say as much.

"I dunno." He rebuffs her curiousity with a shrug. "I just wanted to." To what? He doesn't say. To see you is implied, he thinks. He sidles over, moving to throw himself down on the bed so he can sit beside her. "Don't be. Threatened, that is. You're better at it." He kicks his feet slowly, resisting the urge to squirm for how awkward he feels. "I just figured I should do it for once."

"You're right, I am betta at it." What is he, nervous? He's fidgeting... she comes to the immediate conclusion that he really is here to talk about something bothering him, and her fins perk up underneath the blankets at the thought that he might finally, finally open up to her. This is a momentous occasion, and as such, she shuffles and shifts so that she can open up her blanket to invite him in.

"Come here, then. Keep me warm, and tell me what's going on for you! What's on your mind?" She's long past the denial stage of trying to tell herself she doesn't pity him just a little bit. She's not looking to fill any quadrants here, but it's interesting to think about. Fake smooching be damned, she could see herself getting pretty pale with this silly, cute, endearing human.

There was probably a point in which Dave figured he should tell Feferi what happened. He's not sure how much she cares about how things are back home, but if he and Karkat both got dragged back home then it might be worth mentioning. Yes. He is talking to her about it because it pertains to the Big Adventure™ and not because he wants to like, talk about it for feelings or whatever.

Ugh. It's confusing. He should really tell her he's dead, they can have solidarity and she'll probably make him feel better about it. Instead, it just sort of weighs on him in a way he doesn't really know how to express. Luckily, Dave is a master of handling feelings and his priorities are entirely in order.

"Uhh.." Eloquence. Condensed in human form. He flummoxes for a moment, opening his mouth, closing it and shaking his head. His spontaneity gland is in full force today, because the next logical course of action is for him to bridge the gap between them by leaning in and pressing his lips against Feferi's so as to contend for the world's most abrupt kiss.

There are practically sirens going off in his head at this point considering how stupid he knows this is, but it's too late. He's stuck, eyes closed like a moron and kissing Feferi like this is the after school special of their lives and he can't bring himself to pull away.

Oh. Oh. This is not the pale experimentation she had in mind, not at all. A combination of being completely taken aback, and wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt that he's just being weird, and Feferi hesitates for a second before gently pulling back, pushing him away by the shoulder at the same time.

"You know, there is no one actually here to see that... you might want to save that for the cameras!" Yes, smooth move Feferi. Clearly he is just confused and thinks that there's an audience for them to smooch in front of. (Well, technically there is, but not the kind of audience that cares.) "What's going on with you? Now you can't not tell me."

She's still somewhere between shocked and concerned, and she chooses to err towards the latter. Dave's been a good friend so far, she's not going to let him ruin that so easily.

Being pale is the furthest thing from Dave's mind at this point in time. Partly because it was a quadrant he never really understood and partly because he already knows his crush stems beyond that. How he made a move without any prompting is beyond him, and he'd be proud that he's grown up enough to accept his own feelings if it came with an ability to read where other people are at on the scale of nope to fuck yes.

The words are almost as sobering as the push and it takes a great deal of effort not to slump his shoulders like a put-upon toddler. That was mortifying on ever level and, despite Feferi's calm reaction, Dave is in an absolute state of panic behind those shades of his. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He really fucked up. He can't even bring himself to go with the excuse she's offering him because he's too damn mad at himself.

"Yep."

He hoists himself up unceremoniously, trying to very discreetly escape from the situation without saying anything. That's a good idea, he'll definitely get away with kissing her and trying to walk off without a word beyond that.

Oh shell no.

He doesn't get to pull a move like that and then just retreat. It takes her a second to untangle herself from her blankets, but she hops up and catches up with him, grabbing his wrist. She's always tried to be gentle with him, but now she gives a firm tug to try and keep him from getting any farther.

"Excuse me, where do you think you are going?" She gives him the most pathetic imploring look that she can; she's not mad, just so very, very confused. They're talking about this now, whether he likes it or not, because she gets the feeling that if she lets him walk out the door, they'll never get to talk about it. "Let's just talk this out."

You'd think by now he'd have realised there are things not within the realm of possibility when it comes to Feferi. Walking off was always going to be high on that list, and he feels guilty for even trying it. He almost wafts backward when she grabs his wrist, like a listless kite in need of guidance.

"Elsewhere." He answers vaguely, slowly turning around to get the brunt of her imploring expression. He just barely rolls his eyes behind his shades, but he doesn't fight or make any attempt to move back. He does, however, slump his shoulders and groan at the ceiling for his own stupidity.

"Talkiiiing." He sounds like a bratty child on purpose, but he snaps out of it only so he can pull away a little. "I didn't mean to bug out on you, alright? It's, uh. Been a big week. Month. Week-month." He circles his hand in the air as he gestures. "It seemed like a good idea at the time, clearly it was not."

When Dave pulls away, Feferi lets go of him, satisfied that he won't run off, and if he does, she's ready to pounce now. She returns to the bed and starts rearranging her nest while he talks, moving pillows, and finally settling down into it, looking at the spot next to her meaningfully. The perfect pile for the perfect feelings jam.

"Week-month? I know enough about Earth time to know that those are not the same thing! Which one is it?" No judgment here, just pure, unadulterated troll confusion, as she tries to muddle out some kind of idiomatic meaning behind the phrase. "Tell me everything that happened. I am all fins!"

She wiggles aforementioned fins, just in case he didn't know they were still there and still open to listening.

The meaningful look isn't lost on him, but he still looks a little lost for a moment. His hands hang limply to his sides as he tries to think of a better reason to avoid being close other than the vague worry that he might try kissing her again.

He slumps over eventually, perching on the furthest end while trying not to look too distanced. He does his best to play it like he's just sitting where he landed.

"Things got weird when I died." He says, trying his best to get it out rather than having her lovingly jostle it out. "I didn't come back for a b-" He starts, cutting off to furrow his brow at her fins and shakes his head. "A bit. Karkat said it was a week, but I don't really know. Point being, I went home."

Well, fine then. If he won't join her in the excellent pile she's created, she'll just have to come to him. She scoots closer on her knees, looping an arm around one of his. Letting people go home and then reeling them back in adds a whole new level of unfairness to all the other things the Capitol does. Her brow furrows, and she frowns, a look not well suited to her.

"And you were home for... a while? Even though it was only a week here?" She thinks she's piecing it together, but if a Knight of Time isn't so sure about it, then neither is she. Decisively, she tries not to think too hard on the time shenanigans. "Did anything happen while you were there, or was it just like everything was normal?"

"It felt like less than a week." He murmurs, a little sheepish that the schematics are lost on even him. It makes him feel all the more out of touch with all of that God business.

"Depends on your definition of normal. Everything was on fire, everyone was fighting. Her Imperial Condensation was there as well as Jack Noir in his fur suit. Karkat died." He says that with a weighted tone, to express the importance of it. "Then I got impaled. Twice. So I'm dead too." He adds that like it's an afterthought more than anything. "I think it's safe to say we got screwed harder than Tim the Tool Guy's cheap hookers."

"My ancestor ruining everything? Yes, that sounds pretty normal to me." She gives his arm a squeeze. That's a lot of news all at once, though. She's used to her friends dying, but it's never pleasant to hear about, especially when it's someone she's grown particularly fond of. "I'm sorry though. I really am, for both you and Karkat. So how are you feeling about it now?"

She's already got him going, why not try to keep up the momentum? There's nothing she can say that will fix it or make it better in anyway, listening is all she can really do.

Dave just sniffs in response at first, he shrugs his shoulders for the thousandth time so she can really understand that he's totally apathetic and doesn't care at all. He tilts himself to the side, saying fuck it to being standoffish because he wants affection and attention more than he wants to act like he's alright.

His head finds her lap and he rests his cheek against her thigh, frowning ahead like he hasn't done something groundbreaking here. At least this way, he doesn't have to look at her.

"Like shit. Like I fucked up the goal and we'll never get a home run." He admits, voice as cold as he can make it. "Like everyone was relying on me to pull out the big guns and I showed up with a water pistol full of maple syrup and walked out with it shoved up into my small intestines."

And with that aside... "I'm glad the only thing you have in common with her is blood, hair, horns and.." A nice butt. "That's it. She must be hella embarrassing."

Feferi knows there's not a lot she can say to change what happened. Considering that she wasn't even there, hard for her to make any kind of personal commentary on the situation. That's really not the point though. He'll probably be thanking her later when he doesn't have to sit alone with all those thoughts swirling in his head. Yes, because that is definitely a thing Dave Strider would do.

She can, however, speak to her ancestor. A lot. That's the only aspect of the story she has any kind of authority on.

"She is pretty ruthless." Sometimes it feels like that word isn't even sufficient,. "I don't think you should feel too bad about losing to her though. She has about a bazillion sweeps more experience than you do at culling. Maybe even literally? Come to think of it, I do not know how old she actually is... anyway, the point is, she is no guppy! You are brave even just for trying. Most trolls would probably just give up."

He's already thankful not to be alone, as usual. As usual, he probably won't say as much. It's good to have her here to circumnavigate the hate spirals he wants to fall into, though what she goes on to say doesn't precisely help. It's not her fault, he fucked up explaining that one big time, it's just hard to bring himself to correct her.

"I didn't make it that far." He points out, trying to restrain the bitterness in his tone. "Jade was dead, I was trying to get her to someone with Life powers to fix her up. Jack Noir and some other dog person got up in my grill about it. I tried to fend them off and I ended up dead." He can't help snorting, but of course it isn't out of sincere amusement.

"Of all the dumb things to fucking happen." He raises his hand to his temple, rubbing up and down to relieve some tension. "I dunno why I'm surprised anymore. Things don't even happen for a reason, they just happen aggressively and repetitively or just out of nowhere for no discernible reason." He sounds a little desperate, like he's hoping for clarification he doesn't think he'll get here.

Jade... her other favorite human... Feferi frowns briefly, but shakes her head. "They do happen for a reason, though. We just don't always understand that reason. Sometimes we don't have the chance, and sometimes we just... can't. It is bigger than you and me and all of us that played Sgrub and Sburb combined."

She wishes her lusus was here. For being a giant sea monster, she was always so good at reassuring Feferi, maybe because she actually had some autority to be able to say that things would be okay. Feferi doesn't really know. Not for sure, but she has faith. It's what she's been told her whole life, and she can't imagine it's suddenly changed now. So many things happened to her and her friends, so she can relate, she really can, but it was easy for her. She was expecting it, braced for it. When it happens unexpectedly-- like a lot of what happens here-- it's more jarring.

"It does kind of suck being dead, though." That is something Feferi does have authority on. Even if it never got her too down, it's an experience all its own. "At least you died doing something heroic."

"I dunno what shitty ass meaning needs this kind of karmic fuck up to happen. Like, what kind of destiny requires all this bullshit to get us to the end game? It's like a slip 'n slide full of broken glass." It feels shitty, on some level, to be so bitter about all the things she's trying to spin nicely for him. On the other hand, it feels good to be honest about it. It's sort of refreshing.

With his grumping aside, he can't really deny that she knows all this crap better than he probably does. She probably handled it better than he did, she does most things better. God damn it, he wants to kiss her again, he needs to focus on something else.

"Yeah, it does. Still feels crap though." He pulls himself up again, just hovering in her vicinity without getting close enough to tempt himself to kiss her or something similarly stupid. "At least both of us aren't dead-dead, though. I mean. It sucks massive, sweaty ass being here but I guess half the people aren't too awful. It's like a convention of people you never thought you'd meet, let alone be friends with." He thinks on that, then he groans. "You're infecting me with your cheerful, positive attitude."

If Feferi is good at nothing else, she excels at getting stubborn boys to open up and just let it all out. Even if she can't totally console him, she believes in the efficacy of some good venting. It's already starting to show, though he has a long way to go before he's anywhere near he's just as upbeat as she is, so she just laughs.

"Am I? I did not know it was contagious." Yes she did, and it's thanks to her negligent behavior that he's catching it. "Should I take you down to the infirmary to get you looked at? You never know, it might be fatal to a human like you!"

Giving him a playful nudge, she pulls herself away from him and stands up, stretching. Her job isn't done yet, though. You don't just have a feelings jam and then call it a day. "Well. Since that is all settle, would you like to go for a little walk with me?"

"Maybe you should. I'm feeling feverfish." Awful pun aside, he slides a hand up onto his forehead as if to check his own temperature. "It's like my insides are threatening to combust from critical masses of glitter and bubbles. I dunno how you cope, I guess it's the gills?" He gives her a skeptical look, not lifting himself from the bed even as she does.

He looks faintly confused when she suggests going for a walk and largely he feels as if he would rather not. Even so, his desire not to be alone and simultaneously spend time with Feferi seems to overrule his laziness and his apathy enough to make him stand. He lets out a long, unattractive groan as he pulls himself off the bed, brushing himself down when he does.

"Walk where?" Idle walking? Never.

"Definitely the gills." But it's hard to keep a straight face whenever anyone else fish puns at her. It's just so... unexpected. "That's why we should get you moving! I don't want you to combust, you are too fun to be around. How about the roof?"

The roof seems like a safe middleground. She'd still like to take him to the aquarium, but that might be a hard sell. But anything to get him up and moving a little, get his blood flowing... she assumes, anyway, that it's just as beneficial for humans as it is for trolls, and even if it isn't, she doesn't think it will hurt him in the least. If nothing else, it's a distraction, so there's really no way to lose.

"That shits not fair." He grumbles to himself, letting the joke slowly fade out is hard when you always need the last word. Or all the words, really, given who he is.

"That's not a walk, that's an elevator ride." He points out with a narrowing of his eyebrows, but he won't fight her anymore on it. Evidently, he doesn't have a problem with it, since he's pushing his door open and leaning against it as he waits for her to walk past.

"Why do I get the sense I'm being lead out for excersise and piss all over everything like a restless shitzu?" He glances over his shoulder at her, brow raised.

"Close enough!" She grabs for his hand as she walks past him, to... well, lead him along. At least she's not trying to put a leash on him. That would just be weird. "I have no idea what that is, but probably not! I just think that it is better for you to get up and move around a little."

At least she's being honest, as she leads the way out to the elevators. "You are my friend, and I am not going to let you wallow in misery. Sorry, but that is just not happening."

Not that he was resisting anyway, but she wants to make totally sure he knows she's going to look out for him. She almost feels like she has to coddle him even more than usual, just to make up for her ancestor being so terrible.

Dave refrains from launching into an explanation about how they're a kind of dog that's a kind of Ewok and that everyone knows what Ewoks are, but he loses interest in it fairly fast. Instead, he runs his tongue over his teeth in an effort to hide his petulant expression.

"I'm not wallowing, I came to find you." He points that out like leaving his room is the pinnacle of mental health. "Seriously, I'm fine." He says that, but he's still following her with no attempt to pull away or wander off. He pauses, like he can't even convince himself, but it doesn't last long. "Or, whatever. I'll be fine. Let's talk about something else, like you. How are you?" He shrugs heavily and exaggeratedly, because all fine people jerk their shoulders upward like this.

"I'm fine. Same as always!" Almost as soon as she presses the button for the elevator, it arrives. Damn they're fast. She tugs him on behind her, mashes the button for the roof hastily, then turns around to take his other hand in hers as well, facing him with a doofy grin. She's not exactly glad that he's depressed over his trip home, but he came to her for comfort, and it just makes her skin tingle. "Better, now that you're feeling better."

Smooth, Peixes. Very smooth. It's a good thing the elevator ride is so short, otherwise it might start getting pretty awkward.

"Wow. Comprehensive. I feel like I know you better already." His voice couldn't take a lower or flatter pitch or tone. He'd give her a flat look, but the shades do that for him.

He presses his lips together when she takes his other hand, because it brings about the increasingly prevalent urge to lean in and make it weird. Again.

"Cool." He says, equally comprehensive in his responses and eager to let her lead him out of the elevator and off to whatever they're doing after this.

Stepping off the elevator, Feferi can't help feeling... a little weirdly disappointed. But she leads him along behind her, stopping about halfway to the nearest ledge-- or as close as they can get to it, anyway. She doesn't really have anything specific she wants to do, or at least that she knows she wants to do. She just gets a feeling they should avoid anywhere too sheltered. It seems like things would have an equal chance of getting awkward, or getting disappointing again.

"Well... if you ever wanted to know anything about me, then I guess now is the time to ask!" A little Twenty Questions never hurt anyone. Far be it from her to make things all about herself, but he provides her a convenient avenue for distraction, and it just so happened to be... well, her.

Or they can stand in silence and watch the glow of the city. She meant what she said: as long as he's feeling better, she's feeling better. And she is very much okay with whatever keeps that momentum going.

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I'd be the luckiest man in the universe. [closed]

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