Where I go I just don't know

[steepled]

Who| Vivi and you!
What| Vivi explores the Capitol...or tries to. Overthinking is bad, man. Help him out?
Where| Starts off at the park, but it could go anywhere you like!
When| After his arena death in week 6.



There's a lot to see in the Capitol, probably enough to distract Vivi from these thoughts that seem to lead him nowhere. He had been roaming around for a while, eventually feeling the need to adjust his hat to block his view of the curious glances from the citizens. They're not screaming and running away, but having so many eyes on him like that makes him feel smaller than he already is. He's in a big city just like Alexandria, but that's where the similarities seem to end.

The bench he finds faces out to the rest of the park with the jogging path and a playground in plain view. He looks to sides first, searching for a familiar face before giving up and taking his seat. None of this is a dream after all. He really isn't in Alexandria anymore and he hasn't seen or heard from the others either. Zidane would've found him by now, Vivi thinks, knowing him.

He tips his hat back to better see and take note of the people around him. It's not the first time he's been in a big city and seeing friends and families playing with their children. But for some reason, instead of joy, he feels sadness.

"...I'm all alone now." He thinks to himself, lowering his head to look at his own feet.

Comments

[steepled]

Vivi lowers his gaze to the ground and nods his head. It's a lot to take in, like with everything he's encountered in his life as of late. Sad is what he's feeling but that word doesn't seem to describe it well enough. It's a sort of numbness, a sense of no direction he can turn to as it seems like everything around him but himself is telling him what to do.

He thinks about the other black mages that were still programmed to KILL! KILL! and wondered if that was what the Capitol wanted to see out of him, whether he had his abilities available or not. It wasn't long ago that he discovered that he wasn't the only black mage with an apparent free will, but there had been others that "awakened" and became fully self-aware beings. What came with that was a heightened desire to live and an even less desire to die. That definitely hasn't changed from Vivi's end, especially after the fire.

Harming or even killing someone is different if it's out of self-defense and talking isn't an option. And there had been times when Vivi would not even want to talk and and instead, lets his emotions surge through his magic to put a stop to the offender. Rick doesn't strike him as someone who seems to actively hunt and kill other tributes, but...

"...um..."

Had he hadn't been told about the surveillance around here he'd say that "the way things are" seem so wrong to him. Rick says he hasn't been here long but something about the man tells Vivi that he has seen a lot in his life, much like Freya has. "Um...what things did you have to do?"

And how far would Vivi be willing to go to do the same.

[rictator]

Looking back on it, the question made sense to ask, though it still caught him off guard. After all, who was Rick to tell him the way things were, if he hadn't had that experience himself? In this world and his own, everyone had been forced to get their hands dirty at one point or another.

His expression darkened as he considered his answer, his gaze dropping to the ground.

Killed his best friend. Ripped a man's throat out with nothing but his teeth. Slaughtered an enemy camp.

What had he done? Perhaps it was easier to ask what he hadn't, at this point; the list of things he wouldn't do had dwindled with every new threat. He'd long since lost count of how many lives he'd taken, the blood on his hands thick enough that he'd never be able to fully cleanse it. Regardless of how things went, even with Washington, the promise of a cure and a dream of returning to normalcy, Rick already knew he'd never be able to go back to how things were. They could pretend there was hope, that they could adapt and change to life as it was, but... some changes were permanent.

"I kept my family safe," he settled on, his tone firm despite the neutral wording.

In the end, he'd done what was necessary. Everything he'd done was for them, and so long as it worked, so long as they lived, he didn't regret it.

But that was a pretty heavy subject, considering they hadn't even exchanged names. Social niceties were a luxury more than a necessity now, but they'd leapt straight into discussions of morality and death before Rick even knew what to call him.

He frowned, his head tilting slightly.

"You have a name?"

[steepled]

He has a family. Vivi wonders if said family is here, because if they're all tributes then that's another level of cruelty. From the vibe he's getting from Rick, it's an intense story to tell for another day. He's okay with not being told at all if it means Rick would be uncomfortable. He won't blame him. People do crazy things to protect the ones they care about. That Burmecian soldier that chased him down was only trying to protect his family from what he thought was evil.

'I would never hurt anyone though...'

Vivi stares off absently for a moment before nodding his head back at Rick. "Yeah, I'm Vivi," His grandfather gave him that name - and even a last name, Ornitier. After learning about his origin as a being mass produced in a factory, he assumed that he was just like the other mages- no name, no sense of individuality...only just a number. "What about you, mister?"

[rictator]

Rick had felt the same way, once upon a time. He still remembered that day in Atlanta, telling them then that 'we don't kill the living'. He'd even dared to believe it for a short time. But as things fell apart, he'd been forced to reconsider that stance; when it came down to you or them, when the lives at stake belonged to the people you cared about most, the decision to kill came far easier than it had any right to. The squeeze of the trigger felt the same, regardless of whether the target was breathing or a corpse. Being able to watch his little girl laugh as Daryl held her, to see his son grow into a man - It had been enough for him to cope with the rest.

The weight of their conversation was still heavy on him, and the smile he offered in return was small by most standards, edging on neutrality - but it was something.

"Rick Grimes."

The inclusion of his last name was a habit Rick had yet to break, even since coming to the Capitol. It was trained into him through years on the force, answering more often to his family name than to his first, particularly given just how common it was. Perhaps it even mattered to some of the citizens here, thanks to the bizarre celebrity-like status they'd been saddled with. That side of things, Rick didn't think he'd ever be used to.

He hesitated for a moment, casting one last glance around them, some small part of him still daring to hope that someone might approach to intervene. It wasn't that he was looking for trouble - but it would mean that there was something looking out for Vivi. Someone who'd take notice of him talking to strangers, and more importantly, protect him. If not in the Capitol, then where it mattered most, in the arena.

Rick wanted to know that he hadn't been dropped here alone.

"Are you here by yourself? Have you met up with anyone else from where you're from?"

[steepled]

"Nice to meet you, Mister Grimes." If only the circumstances were actually nice, but they certainly could be worse. Still, Vivi feels the need to be polite towards everyone. Grandpa had strange manners and talked funny, but for whatever reason the need to address people properly was always a thing for Vivi unless he's told to refer them differently - like when Zidane told him to drop the "mister".

Maybe he was just programmed to talk like this...

"U-um, yeah...I think so," he replies, trying not to sound so defeated but ultimately failing. It's probably a good thing that his friends aren't here, as much as he misses them. "I haven't seen anyone I know since I got here."

Why him? If they wanted people to fight each other, why him, especially without his magic?

"...have you found your family here, Mister Grimes?" The man has a grim demeanor about him, though given their situation, he can see why.

[rictator]

There was a point in his life that Rick might have said the same - But all things considered, he'd have preferred it had Vivi not been there at all. There weren't many who deserved the fate forced upon them by the Capitol, but there was a certain quality that he recognized in the mage... Whether he lived or not, it wouldn't survive the things they were made to do. Eventually, they all had to adapt.

It hadn't been the answer he'd wanted to hear, but it didn't surprise him. Telling him it was only a matter of time, that others would start to arrive, was hardly reassuring, and more importantly, it wasn't a guarantee; Rick could still only guess at the Capitol's motivations when it came to tribute selection. The number of people originating from his own world seemed disproportionately high when compared to the average - If there was some pattern to it, he certainly hadn't figured it out.

And perhaps that was what was so disconcerting about it; there was no telling who would be next. With the numbers as they were, would they continue bringing in tributes from his world, or would they move on to one like Vivi's for the sake of diversity? Or somewhere else altogether? Dwelling on it was enough to make a man crazy, and really, would knowing make it any better? There was nothing they could do about it presently, beyond what they were already doing.

He hesitated as he considered his next response, warring against his own paranoid nature. There would always be a certain vulnerability in revealing those closest to you, and Rick wasn't sure he'd ever be able to fully ignore that fact; whatever sympathy he felt for the stranger didn't negate the fact that he didn't actually know him. That said, anyone with a pair of eyes and arena footage could have deduced who he cared about, whether he admitted to it or not.

"Yeah... Some of them," he said at length, followed by a slow nod. "A man named Daryl, and a girl. Beth."

[steepled]

"Oh, I'm sorry."

That reply came faster than Vivi intended and he quickly blurts out another apology following that one. "I mean...you know."

That would mean that they're tributes too. And he had seen them die and probably will again soon. Even if people come back, it's still not an easy thing to stomach.

He's still not sure what it means to live or to die...

"Um...are you okay, Mister Grimes?" He asks with a tilt of his head. He's not sure if the man is always this quiet, but he looks like he has a lot on his mind. The mage doesn't blame him.

[rictator]

Oh, he knew - and he was sorry too. Not that there was anything any of them could do about it. There were some back home who'd thought that infection had changed things, that death was different since the turn - but it wasn't. The walkers weren't alive, and as much as they looked like those they'd lost, they weren't. But even that was nothing compared to the mockery that Capitol had created; it wasn't something he thought he'd ever get used to.

Perhaps that was the way things were supposed to be. When dying became normal, if they ever did go back... They couldn't afford to let this make them weak.

"Yeah..."

Was he okay? Not really. But then, the definition of "okay" had shifted along with the rest of the world, changing to match their ever devolving situation. What was good for them now might have been before - Being able to eat, finding a safe place to spend the night, all the small things that they'd taken for granted were granted a new sense of import. Just having meat, regardless of what animal, was good now. Water, even if it had to be boiled before it was drinkable. It was certainly enough to change one's perspective on things.

He shook his head, as though to free himself from his own tangled thoughts. He'd been the one to approach Vivi - This wasn't his business, or his problem.

"Yeah," he repeated, his tone more definite. "I'm fine."

Rick chewed at the corner of his lip for a moment, considering. Maybe it was out of line, but there was some part of him that just didn't feel right leaving him - not out here, alone. He cast a glance up at the late afternoon sun, not looking at him when he spoke.

"It's getting pretty late. You got anything planned for dinner?"

[steepled]

"Oh...okay, then." Something (or somethings) must be bothering him, but Vivi is polite enough to not pry. From his own experience though, sometimes it's okay to pry, especially when it comes to friends, because friends look out for each other. Maybe he and Rick can be friends but that remains to be seen.

Vivi only just noticed that the sun's about the set, indicating the time. Food really does sound appealing right about now.

"No, nothing planned. I haven't eaten anything since I got here, come to think of it." Anxiety has kept him from realizing just how empty his stomach had been.