thecapitol | Heaven's Night

The question makes Phil take a deep breath in, "I wanted to hit that sweet spot that I can still walk to my room, and when I get there, I pass out til the next day. My sleeping clock needs a reset and lately, I, uh, I've been needing help."

That, and he's starting to have a bit of survivor's guilt. He was here...Mike and Jeremy weren't. Fritz got out all right, he didn't last a night. Though it was nice to hear Julian give him the head's up. "I'll make sure to keep an ear out then." As he asked for a bottle of whiskey and wine to go, Phil listed Julian as a person to help out in the arena if they ever ran into each other.

“Well, you better hope you can still walk back, because if you can’t I’m leaving you on the rooftop.” Julian doesn’t really mean it though, even he isn’t heartless enough to leave some drunk person out in the cold. The passing out part and mention of sleeping problems makes Julian fidget. He has his own sleeping issues here, mostly attributed to not being able to sleep as a cat, but that doesn’t mean he feels anymore comfortable talking about it.

As soon as Phil has the wine and whiskey in hand, Julian’s heading for the elevator, and after they’ve both gotten in and Julian’s pushed the top button he finally asks, “Do they have sleeping pills here? Those could help… I guess.”

"I can try walking," Gray assured him then leaned against the elevator wall. He closed his eyes for a second, to let the filtered air enter his lungs and comfort him. The Tower didn't smell of day old pizza and old blood so it was nice to enjoy it for a while.

"I think so but maybe you need them more than I do. I've been handling the insomnia and the panic atta-" Wait, "I mean, screwy circadian cycles for five years now. This is old hat." Phillip tried to salvage the situation he'd created, though he wasn't that worried that Bradds knew about it. He was strangely okay with this brat over Dandy, mostly because Julian, for his cat form and everything, seemed the most human out of either of them.

As soon as they reach the roof, the guard rubs his eyes and takes a deep breath. The Tower's horizons were something to behold for the relatively new arrival as he took in the night sky. "Whoa," he croaked out, "T-to be honest, I've never been to a city this big before. I used to live in a medium sized town, you could still see stars in the sky." He could count with his fingers the nights he was able to do that after taking the night shift. Julian may see Phil become years younger as he smiled and remembered better times.

"You could fall asleep to the low hum of the street generator or the crickets outside. Pops and I, we had a little treehouse...mom hated it but pops wanted me to have the full outdoors experience and let me sleep there with my sleeping bag. I got one hell of a cold and missed school but it was amazing. Did you and your dad go out like that? Probably to some exotic locale."

Julian catches enough of the word to know what Phil was about to say, no matter how hard he tries to turn the situation around. He’d been watching the floor number steadily go up, but at the mention of panic attacks he turns to look a Phil, eyebrows furrowed as he tries to decide what to do with that bit of information. Asking about it directly is too uncomfortable for Julian, so instead he asks, “Five years? Is that how long you worked at the pizza place?”

“Figures you’d be one of those small town people,” Julian says, medium-sized the same as small to him, as he walks to edge of the roof, so he can lean against the ledge there. “I’m from a big city. I’m used to the lack of stars.” It still didn’t make the skyline view from the rooftop all that familiar. While it had the big city feel, it had none of the landmarks Julian was familiar with, but it was nice to pretend for a while maybe he was just on vacation somewhere.

“Why would you sleep outdoors when the indoors was right there?” He catches the smile Phil has on out of the corner of his eye though, and it so it makes Julian sound more curious than judgemental. The question makes Julian pause, as he never really got to do all that much with his dad. His dad was successful, and with that came the price of being busy most of the time, not being able to be around all that much. His dad still loved him despite that, Julian knows that, but it still stings a little no matter how hard he tries not to let it, and Julian clears his throat to avoid letting any hurt show in his voice.

“I got to go out on a boat on a lake with my dad when I was younger. We didn’t get to stay too long, but it was fun. When I was older he took me on some of his business trips to Europe.” Which the only time Julian really got to hang out with his dad was during the flight, but they still got to watch movies together so Julian counts it.

"Five years of surviving and not just talking about the minimum wage paycheck," Gray looked out the skyline, "Technically I've been working ten years, they simply changed the name of the place. At first, I really enjoyed myself and had a favorite bot and everything. And then the murders started happening. A man started killing children over at the restaurant...then the guards. I stuck around to help out, took the night shift and began to investigate." There were details he left out because who'd believe the Ghost story?

At the swipe about being small-town, Phil laughed almost embarrassed about that, "Is it that obvious I'm some hooey?" That and the unironic use of 'cut a rug'. "I slept in the outdoors because I wanted to experience it. There was a small cluster of trees outside, and mom said she spotted foxes around. I just had to see them, you know? Pops believed in that a kid should experience the world..." A hint of sadness took over the stupor, "I never got to do the same. Never got to be a dad myself."

As he heard Julian talk about his father, the guard sat down and offered a spot for his friend do so. "Your dad worked a lot didn't he?" He'd seen parents who worked themselves to the bone but showed their love for their child.

“What kind of sick person kills children.” A look of disgust crosses Julian’s face to match the repulsion in his voice. “Why did you have to investigate? Shouldn’t the police have done that? Were they inept at their job or something?”

Julian snickers a little, “Yes, it is. Saying hooey just makes it even more obvious.” He still doesn’t really get the whole sleeping outdoors thing, despite Phil’s explanation, but Julian just figures it’s another weird poor people thing. “You can have children when you get back. The people here will get bored of us eventually. They’ll send us back home.” At least that’s the belief Julian is holding onto, no matter how untrue it may be.

“Yes, he did. It’s to be expected when you own as many things as he did.” Taking the seat offered, he fiddles with the arms of his jacket, still trying not to look upset. “But he bought me a lot of things, so it doesn’t matter.”

"They had the wrong man, Bradds, they convicted someone else and let the real killer walk. They didn't want to listen to what I had to say because they thought my testimony was tainted or some other shit," the alcohol was taking effect as Phil's facade began to waver between the way he'd started out and letting everything spill.

That brief sense of hope vanished for Phillip as he remembered what exactly was happening the moment he was reaped. "I go home to die, I stay here to die," he let out, "I owe the Capitol my life, whether I like it or not. If it wasn't for their reaping, I'd be dead." There wasn't much gratitude left in him but he had to smile a little, "At least I got to meet people like you Julian."

At that fiddling, he put his hand over Julian's shoulders, "Things aren't everything. You love your dad and I betcha he loves you just as fiercely. He worked to give you the best he could." His grin became genuine and impish, "It's why I like you better than Dandy even if you two are in the same social strata."

“Why would they think your testimony was tainted? That doesn’t make any sense. You’re just a pizza guard.” And even if Phil’s already explain he didn’t guard the pizza, Julian’s forever going to call him that.

“You were… dead? Oh.” Julian knows if he died back home, he wouldn’t really want to talk about it, but he still can’t help but ask, “Did the killer get you? Because you were… investigating?” The last part makes him pause, catching him by surprise, because truthfully he doesn’t see what he really has to offer here with no money. But Julian doesn’t like to be honest about that sort of thing, not even to himself, so instead he boasts, “Yes, well it would be an honor to meet someone as great as me.”

Julian stares at the hand on his shoulder for a moment, not really used to comforting gestures unless they’re awkward pats on the back from his dad, but he doesn’t shrug it off. “Of course my dad loves me. That’s why he bought me everything I wanted.” And since Julian’s dad really only knew how to express his affection through money and other materialistic things, that’s one of the only ways Julian knew he actually did love him. “So, yes, you could say things are everything. They’re how you get stuff done and solve problems.”

He rolls his eyes at the mention of Dandy, though the impish grin is enough to bring some slight amusement into his expression too. “It’s good to see you’re judgement isn’t impaired, but just so you know, I’m in a higher social strata than Dandy.”

"I was a witness in finding the bodies and had a bias towards that particular person." The term pizza guard was endearing now as it was a mutual understanding. "I saw him so many times around the place, smiling towards the kids in a way that I, a grown-ass adult, felt uncomfortable with."

The questions about his death were innocent enough but it was still something Phil struggled with. He nodded at the first but, "No, he didn't kill me. Remember the robots I was telling you about? They did it. You see, at night," and Gray wanted to tell the truth, he struggled with the lie, "they see the human guards as endoskeletons without costumes, and that's against the rules. So they force the person into a suit that's not empty but in fact full of hydraulics and sharp edges. The only things that survive all that are the eyes and teeth. I had a bad night." Understatement of the century. "I was about to be stuffed when I got knocked out...next thing I know, I'm here."

To hear the young man speak so proudly of such shallow things, Phil pictured a man who worked himself to the bone to provide for his boy and had no way of showing it. "Fair enough. We can agree to disagree on that topic...though I don't blame your dad. I'd give my kid the universe if I could. Every star in the sky? His or hers." Maybe it was the alcohol but for a moment, Phil mused, "I wonder if I'll find someone here."

The snipes at their fellow Tributes made Phillip laugh uproariously, "You really despise him don't you! No playdates for you, that's for sure." He fell back in his fit, "All I ask you, please don't start your war before 9 am! I'd really appreciate it!"

“What scum,” Julian mutters when Phil talks about the killer, but he’s quiet for a while after he hears the details of Phil’s death. It’s not that he doesn’t believe him, but it’s a lot of gruesome details to take in, and Julian feels vaguely nauseated.

“Shit… that’s…” He doesn’t know what he could say to hearing all of that though, doesn’t know what he could possibly say to make Phil feel better, so he just doesn’t bother to try and instead asks, “Why not destroy the robots then? They made the kids happy, but was that really worth guards dying for? There’s lots of other things that can make kids happy.”

“I suppose you could find someone. Might be kind of hard with the whole Arena thing.” It’s hard for him to even mention the Arena without some sort of bitterness in his voice. “But even if you can’t go back home, it’s not like you’re stuck here forever. There’s a bunch of different worlds apparently. I’m sure when they get bored of us all they could send you some place different but similar. Like home but without the killer robots and sick murderers.”

“This is not a laughing matter! He’s really annoying! I wonder if we can sign a petition and get him kicked out.” Despite his protest that it isn’t funny, Phil falling back makes him smile, and he laughs a little before he has to remind himself that, no, this is serious business. “I’m not the one you have to talk about 9 am to. He’s the one that starts everything. Take it up with him.”

"They wouldn't stay down. We tried everything short of dumping cement on them. And yet, no one was supposed to know about the deaths," Phil closed his eyes and allowed himself to smile at the fonder memories. He hummed a little song Freddy Fazbear used to sing for the kids before his passing joy disappeared, "Those machines, according to management, were worth more than every guard's life. And believe me, I learned how to fake a missing person's report after the fourth."

"In the great words of Ian Malcolm, life will find a way," Gray then turned to Julian with a grin, resting his head on a hand. "It'd be nice to dream without nightmares, to have someone wake up next to me then grab some coffee."

He kept laughing at the ludicrous idea of sending Mott to another floor, "This is going to bite us in the ass and I don't care!" That was him without inhibitions, "Wonder what District will take him, huh Mr. Cat-Bradds?"

“No one should have to die for some machines. And you shouldn’t have had to fake any reports. Management was an idiot. They didn’t know how to do anything right.” Julian doesn’t really get how Phil can be humming, doesn’t understand how he can’t be getting angry, so he asks, “Aren’t you mad at management?”

“I don’t know who Ian Malcolm is, but, yes, sure.” The next part makes Julian raise an eyebrow, but he sounds more amused than anything else when he says, “You’ve been reading too many romance novels.” For most people, what Phil said wouldn’t be out of the ordinary, but Julian’s experience with ‘romance’ is having people use him for his money or status, so that’s what he considers normal. “Though I suppose those things are probably different when you’re poor.”

“Hopefully the one that’s far away as possible, like District 12, but any of them will do as long as it’s not ours.” Julian pauses, and then sighs, looking as if his life is extremely hard. “Probably no one will take him though. Maybe we can barricade him in his room instead.”

"I am livid actually, and the mere thought that the place may have shut down after my death brings me so much more satisfaction. I made peace with all that, Jules. It's the dead kids that have me worried," the guard explained, "They never got peace."

Gray sat up at that remark, "Rich or poor, money's great but having that contact with another person, lean over them," his mind had a particular person filling that role. A person he had no chance in his life to ever be with but his heart was set on her. "Man, I would give practically anything to have that again. I used to have one-night stands but it wasn't the same. I paid for that kinda touch, it wasn't real."

But the goofy smile came back, "He belongs in the Capitol. He must be with his people and eat cupcakes or something. Leave plebians like me to fight for their entertainment."

“It’s Julian. Not Jules,” Julian protests, but despite how grumpy he tries to sound he doesn’t really look all that mad at the nickname. The mention of the kids does make him look upset, though, and he taps his fingers anxiously against his leg as he says, “You never know, the right killer could still be caught. But it’s not your fault anyway. It’s not your job to worry about it.”

“Rich or poor, most people always want something extra out of it, whether it’s a car or bragging rights. In the end, usually people only care about themselves and what they can get.” He’s not even necessarily bitter about it. That’s just the way it is as far as he’s concerned. “But if you think it will make you happy, then fine. I’m not going to crush your dreams,” he shrugs, and then stretches, movements slightly sluggish from the alcohol.

“He doesn’t deserve cupcakes. He only gets something boring and tasteless like celery. That’s it.”

Phil nodded, "If they did catch him, I can finally rest. I made it my job but it wasn't meant to be. But on to more pressing matters, like this lack of self esteem on Julian's part. It wasn't right to hear him speak of himself like a trophy to be won,

"Well I care about you and frankly I do it because I think you're a pretty good guy and fun to be around," Gray spoke up at that, "Not because you're rich or...bragging rights, was it? You're you. If I run into you in the Arena? You can bet your ass I will help you." It was almost disheartening to hear, and he lets the alcohol speak, "I kinda wish you could see the man I know you are and can be."

"And for the record, celery can be delicious if you season it right. The food you're thinking about is cow tongue. That stuff is tasteless and tough so double the punishment."

There’s a bit of surprise again, at being called a good guy, at being told someone actually cares about him. Only used to shallow praise, it still isn’t something he really knows how to react to, and the alcohol makes him a little slow to cover up his confused expression before he asks, “Shouldn’t you be more concerned with helping yourself in the Arena first?”

The last part strangely make him feel likes he’s being pitied, though, like there’s something wrong with him, and it makes him close off some, back to looking unhappy. “I know who I am. I’m a Bradds. I’m wealthy, handsome, smart. I’m great. People wouldn’t want things from me if I wasn’t.” There’s a sense of finality in his tone as he adds, “You only just met me. I don’t see how you can know who I am better than me.”

“Good idea. All he gets is cow tongue, then.” And the idea of Dandy eating cow tongue for the rest of his life is enough to make Julian start snickering, grumpy expression gone.

"I can get by on pretty much nothing, I can scavenge," Phil assured his drinking buddy, "Survival's great in groups and we're in the same District, might as well make sure one of us makes it. Make our District victorious and everything." That and he felt he deserved to die for his inaction. He mirrored Julian's finality, as he stated, "I failed back home. Not going to let it happen again."

At the unhappy expression, the guard looked up to the sky, "That all may be true but I like seeing the best in people. I trust easily, and I know that's gonna bite me in the ass. But you're gonna go far. I don't pity you," he knew when a parent or a child got defensive, he'd seen it in the Pizzeria, "I respect you." The cow-tongue did bring him back to a full laughter,

"Probably offered to him as some delicacy or something. It'll be hilarious to watch it," he joked around further, "I'll record it for posterity!"

Julian doesn’t really like to think or talk about the Arena, so the next words come out in a rush, seeming like he just wants to get them out and over with when he says, “You say that now, but you might change your mind in the Arena. It’s not so easy to just… get by. Not when there’s things trying to kill you, too. It’s not only the other Tributes you have to worry about, you know.” There’s also fun things like aliens. Or who knows what else in the next Arena.

“Well, you shouldn’t. Like you said, it’s only going to get you in trouble. Trust should be earned, not given away easily.” There’s a slightly scolding tone to it, but the last words are enough to get Julian to stop looking unhappy, and he sounds smug instead when he says, “Yes. I’m very respectable. It comes along with being a Bradds.”

Julian smiles, looking amused. “Good. The moment needs to live on. That’s what he gets for being annoying.”

"In any case, you earned my-" Phil coughed for a moment before he straightened up, "My respect, though whatever that means from a working Joe pizza guard, as you named me, to you, I dunno. And believe me, I'd rather feed Dandy cow tongue and jerky, and face his man child wrath, than suck up to him. I've handled spoiled kids on cake and sugar rushes that behave better than he does. You can't get any more immature than that."

He looked up to the sky, lost in the sea of stars and lights from below. Breathing deeply, he tried to remember the last time he was this relaxed, this unafraid. His mind didn't waste any time in conjuring that night when hell wrecked everything. He'd managed to last until 4 am before things went sour. Julian would see Phil reach over to the whiskey, already 4/5ths gone at this point, and polish it off like water. He wanted to drown the Toreador March ringing in his head, the bruising and almost bone-breaking grip on his arms and legs-

"Th-think we should head back in?" the stutter of Gray's voice was noticeable now, he didn't want Julian, or anyone to see him have a panic attack. As ridiculous as it was to be afraid of animatronics that danced in the uncanny valley, Phil wanted to hide.

Deep down Julian thinks it’s nice to be respected, no matter who it comes from, but he’s definitely not going to say that so instead he shrugs and says, vaguely, “Even though you’re only a pizza guard, you’re still okay.”

Between the rushed drinking and the stuttering, Julian can tell something is off, even if he doesn’t know what. He doesn’t know what to do about it, though, so he just says, “Sure.” But part of him feels like he should do more, at least try, so even if he fidgets a bunch and looks extremely awkward while doing it he asks, “Are you… all right?” Julian tries to combine it with nudging Phil with his arm, a somewhat attempt of a comforting gesture, but he just ends up mainly elbowing Phil instead.

The elbowing made Phillip scream before he slapped his hands over his mouth. His heart was racing and eyes were fully dilated. In his mind, Gray wasn't in the Capitol with Julian and all the cameras watching. Instead, he was alone, stuck in the pizzeria, holding the line and trying not to scream and lure them out. He could hear the demonic laughter and the screeches-

The attack lasted for a few seconds, but for Phil, it felt like hours. He felt as if he was staring at himself, watching everything his body went through. When he came back, Phil blinked and ran his hands over his head. His breathing took a while to stabilize, but the embarrassment and the truth was there. "I-I'm sorry I screamed at you," Adding to the drunken stupor and Phil was a mess.

The moment Phil screams, Julian jerks back, drawing his arms close into his side and body posture going rigid as he stares at Phil with wide eyes. A part of Julian scolds himself that this is why he shouldn’t try, look what happens. It’s safer not to try. Even after Phil speaks, for a while Julian doesn’t do anything. As much as he wouldn’t want to admit it, he’s fearful that whatever he does will only make things worse.

But eventually, sounding incredibly uncertain, he says, “No... it’s fine. Are you, uh, going to be okay? I... have candy I got from one of the floors. Do you... want some?” That’s really the best thing Julian can come up with. He really has no idea how to handle this.

"I'll be fine," Phil lied mostly to himself, rubbing his face. "I have these sorta things in my room sometimes. I don't have the fondest memories of my last workday if you know what I mean." No, no more falling back into that nightmare again. New world, new life, keep going, he told himself in his mind.

The candy offering further solidified Gray's belief that Bradds may have been spoiled and could be a complete brat but he was a good guy. He slowly nodded, "I would, thank you. It'll remind the rest of me what's real and what isn't. Y-you better eat too, you might wanna bring back the buzz I just killed."

“Oh. Yes, uh well, I can see why. Considering…” Considering he got attacked by killer robots, but Julian doesn’t think Phil really wants to hear about those right now so he just frowns instead of finishing the sentence, still looking awkward and unsure.

Julian doesn’t have the bag of candy with him, but he does have some stuffed in his pant pocket, and he takes out a few and holds them out to Phil. “Don’t worry about the buzz. Eat the candy. They’re butterscotch.”

Edited 2015-02-20 01:58 (UTC)

Gray took the offered candy and let the sugar wake him up further than what he started off as. Though he did find the awkwardness worrying, "Considering what happened. It's all right."

It takes him a few moments of eating the candy but Phillip sat up and cracked his neck. "You're good...though I might need a hand getting up. Sorry about that. I know I promised you I wouldn't need it."

The actual Arena was going to be trying but Gray knew who to keep safe.

Heaven's Night

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