nill (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
reassures) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thecapitol2015-01-04 04:02 pm
reassures) wrote in thecapitol2015-01-04 04:02 pm
Entry tags:
something that can wash all the pain | OTA
Who| Nill and YOU
What| Drinking and possibly crying
Where| Tribute center lounge/bar
When| Way backdated to just after Week 2
Warnings/Notes| Typical post arena warnings + alcohol warning. References to hard drugs and suicide in Linden's thread.
Nill opens her eyes, and the first thought that goes through her mind is that she wants to cry. She can't tell if it's because she's relieved or bitterly angry, but it sits like lead in the pit of her stomach, like fire, and she pulls her knees up to her chest to drown the heat of it, or else she knows it will burn through to her bones.
It may be a good thing that the Tributes don't seem to wake up in their own beds, because if they did she's not sure when she would actually find it in her to get up again. Even with where she is it's a long time before Nill can muster the energy to actually sit up again, let alone to pull the blanket from the cot around her shoulders and stand. When they let her she stumbles her way out of the room, wings folded down and blanket still held tightly around herself as she slowly makes her way up through the tower.
There's no physical pain, and that's probably the most jarring part. There are phantom aches in her skin and joints, the unmarked patch of skin where a xenomorph had stabbed a hole into her side burns, and the long stretch of her forehead that was still horribly bruised for most of the Arena throbbed, though it was completely and utterly okay now. There's not a mark on her but everything hurts, and the ache in her chest is by far the worst of it. She feels sick, and Nill wants nothing more than to sink down and not move again. She does a good job of avoiding this base instinct until she gets to the lobby, and on one of the screens there's a flash of small troll with nubby horns, thoroughly miserable and beat up but alive, and Nill freezes before she can take more than a few steps.
She gives in to the instinct, though not where she stands. Nill makes her way to the bar, gestures to borrow a pen from the bartender, and writes out an order on a napkin. He seems to tel her that she can hold on to it, and once Nill has a hot coffee that smells very much of whiskey she sits in a seat far off to the side, where she can watch the monitors.
To say she looks miserable would be putting it lightly.
What| Drinking and possibly crying
Where| Tribute center lounge/bar
When| Way backdated to just after Week 2
Warnings/Notes| Typical post arena warnings + alcohol warning. References to hard drugs and suicide in Linden's thread.
Nill opens her eyes, and the first thought that goes through her mind is that she wants to cry. She can't tell if it's because she's relieved or bitterly angry, but it sits like lead in the pit of her stomach, like fire, and she pulls her knees up to her chest to drown the heat of it, or else she knows it will burn through to her bones.
It may be a good thing that the Tributes don't seem to wake up in their own beds, because if they did she's not sure when she would actually find it in her to get up again. Even with where she is it's a long time before Nill can muster the energy to actually sit up again, let alone to pull the blanket from the cot around her shoulders and stand. When they let her she stumbles her way out of the room, wings folded down and blanket still held tightly around herself as she slowly makes her way up through the tower.
There's no physical pain, and that's probably the most jarring part. There are phantom aches in her skin and joints, the unmarked patch of skin where a xenomorph had stabbed a hole into her side burns, and the long stretch of her forehead that was still horribly bruised for most of the Arena throbbed, though it was completely and utterly okay now. There's not a mark on her but everything hurts, and the ache in her chest is by far the worst of it. She feels sick, and Nill wants nothing more than to sink down and not move again. She does a good job of avoiding this base instinct until she gets to the lobby, and on one of the screens there's a flash of small troll with nubby horns, thoroughly miserable and beat up but alive, and Nill freezes before she can take more than a few steps.
She gives in to the instinct, though not where she stands. Nill makes her way to the bar, gestures to borrow a pen from the bartender, and writes out an order on a napkin. He seems to tel her that she can hold on to it, and once Nill has a hot coffee that smells very much of whiskey she sits in a seat far off to the side, where she can watch the monitors.
To say she looks miserable would be putting it lightly.
no worries <3
It's not that she's stunned to see Terezi, but she wasn't someone that Nill had been expecting to see so quickly after her revival. She's not so sure what to do at first, but she picks up one of the candies, turning it over in her fingers a few times before setting it down. She has no appetite.
She reaches for her pen, and realizes with a small frown that she has no crayon, and the pen isn't terribly colorful or large. Terezi seemed to get by with larger visuals without much effort, so she holds the pen up to show her. Terezi doesn't have any crayons with her, does she?
no subject
Terezi proceeds to pat down her pockets, scrunching her mouth to thee side in concentration. She usually has at least something on her--There! She pulls a red marker from her pocket, one of the thick fat ones that is good for coloring. Probably not so good for licking, but at least a marker can draw on almost anything.
"Here, you can use this."
no subject
thank you.
do you know if karkat is still alive?
Yeah, she's not wasting any time with that one. Nill has no idea how long she was out before she was revived, and she'd spent enough time down in that room before leaving again that something definitely could have happened to him.
no subject
"He'll be okay for a little while." But the odds aren't exactly in his favor, so to speak. She's not certain of the exact course of the future, but with the number of timelines out there... He doesn't come out on top in a while lot of them.
"Thank you, for watching out for him. And the... other thing." The thing that she doesn't really want to talk about. The thing that sounded like Kurloz but wasn't Kurloz, and she still has nightmares about those noises that it made.
no subject
As she slides the napkin over to Terezi Nill reacjes to pull her coffee close to her again, taking a sip before setting it on the table and wrapping her fingers around it, as if the coffee alone could help to ease how cold she feels. It doesn't.
But Karkat and the Initiate... Nill loved them. There was no need to be thanked for helping people she cared about.
no subject
"Yeah... Mine, too." Dumb boys. But they're her dumb boys. And Nill's, too.
"Are you doing okay?" She didn't answer the first time, so Terezi pitches the question again, hoping to get something. She doesn't know Nill as well as her other friends, so her perception of her moods isn't as finely tuned.
no subject
Instead of really offering a response Nill reaches for her spiked coffee and takes a long, healthy sip, enough to down almost a third of the drink.
All things considered, it's probably enough of a response.
no subject
A frown pulls at Terezi's lips. The responsibility of her actions feels heavy. She wants to do something to ease Nill's mind, but there's nothing to be done in a place like this. Maybe she could buy her something cheerful, but that wouldn't help that feeling that Terezi knows is resting on the inside.
Hesitantly, Terezi leans over and rests her forehead against Nill's arm. From there, she eventually wraps her arms around the older girl's middle. It feels a little silly, but it's worth a shot.
no subject
Fresh out of the Arena, Nill still isn't entirely up to physical contact. She goes very still when Terezi leans her head against her arm, but after a moment she lifts the mug again to finish most of her drink, and swirls it a little to look at the liquid moving at the bottom, and that's about as close to tellng someone it's okay as she's capable of. The hug is not returned, but Nill does lift a hand to place it gently against Terezi's shoulder.