Twenty five, don't recall a time I felt this alive (open)

[tookthewheel]

Who| MCU!Bucky Barnes and YOU
What| Bucky's back in the Capitol and dealing with things
Where| Anywhere around the Tribute Center, specify the location of your choice
When| After arena 12 goes boom
Warnings/Notes| The usual with this guy

Waking up was easier this time.

Maybe it's because he'd accepted and waited for death to come rather than fighting against it as he had before, with the same resignation and understanding of what was going to happen that had made it easier to go into the ice when his missions were done. He can count it as a bonus that waking up in a warm bed was far more pleasant than from the cryostasis tank.

Bucky gets up calmly but still with the feeling something is wrong, more than just how weak his limbs feel again after living a month with his full strength back. A feeling that persists as he heads for the shower first, then irritably shaves off the beard he always wakes up with and is coming to loathe, discovering at the same time that the brand has now gone from his cheek. Venturing into the kitchen area yields leftover casserole from the fridge which he wolfs down quickly before heading out of District 1 with Toro the tribble safely in his pocket. He needs to see his friends, check for himself that they're still here and make sure no more of them have vanished like the first Widow did.

He goes down to District 9 first, then down to the common area to start working his way upwards, choosing to take the stairs rather than the elevator as he moves through the training and district levels before finally emerging up onto the roof. There he habitually heads for his favourite spot to try and let the cold winter air blow out the still persistent cobwebs in his head.

Comments

[actually112]

Aang wouldn't think that Bucky had any reason to feel guilty if he knew that was actually what was going through the man's head. He's fine with the fact that Bucky can't have prolonged hugs like other people. Bucky gave Aang everything he could give, and that means more than anything. The purring, cooing tribble in his hands helps too.

If Aang hadn't had the tribble, he would have flinched. As it stands, he just keeps running his fingers through its fur with painstaking gentleness. It's discomfiting to hear someone question the entire system on which his world is based, especially when he himself has been wondering it about it as of late. He shies away from the questions and doubts that bubble in his own head, because pursuing those would only lead to hesitation and resentment. The last time he did that, the Air Nomads died, and he lost everything he loved. "Maybe that's how it works in other worlds, but in mine, only the Avatar has to power to take care of the world. The Avatar has to do it because no one else can."

Even if the Avatar is a child. Even if the people sit back and wait for a hundred years for a little boy to fight a full grown man--it's how it must be done, because only the Avatar has the power to do it, and the Avatar must endure.

At least, Aang tells himself that. Otherwise, there would be many questions to ask. "If I don't, so many people will die, including the ones I love. I can't leave them. Not again." He can't have another genocide on his conscience. It's not about wanting to save the world--it's about needing to, because if he doesn't, his own guilt will kill him.

[tookthewheel]

"Your world is strange." he says and it's not entirely serious, it's a gentle dig, his clumsy attempt to lighten the situation. "So's mine, I think."

Bucky came from a universe of superhero's and shadowy organisations, where men turned others into super-soldiers, built metal suits that could fly and there men who could turn into monsters, with God's visiting from another world...

He's still uncomfortable with the idea of a child having to bear the weight of a world on his shoulders but reflects that perhaps he doesn't have the right to keep arguing it with Aang. Bucky's made his viewpoint clear and despite his wish that the boy wouldn't have to fight, done his part in offering to teach him the techniques that Bucky knows to fight. Sometimes people didn't have choices even when they should, he knows that.

"I understand that." Wanting to protect people who were important to you was one thing he couldn't argue with. "If I can, I'll help you get back there." but not without seeing that Aang would have the means to take down the opponent he was supposed to deal with that he'd told Bucky about before.

[actually112]

"It is, isn't it?" The corner of Aang's mouth curls up. It's not quite a full smile, but it's something. "I bet yours is, too. If we can, I'd like to see it some time. You could see mine, too. It's wonderful, even when it's at war. I bet I could get you to ride the elephant koi with me."

The purring tribble is so soothing that his eyelids begin to droop. His lack of sleep is catching up to him. Careful, Bucky, or you'll have a little boy falling asleep on you.

"Thanks. I appreciate any help I can get."

[tookthewheel]

"I don't know mine very well." he admits, watching Aang. "But I'd like that." he nods to the invitation as well, though looks puzzled at the concept of an elephant koi. "I thought those were two different animals?"

That's alright, Bucky doesn't mind at this point if it helps Aang feel better. Tribbles are magical animals.

[actually112]

"Then we can explore it together. It'll be fun." There's a soft, sleepy giggle. It's not as bubbly as usual, but it's something. "Maybe in your weird world, they're different, but in my weird world, they're giant colorful fish that you can ride. Maybe you should try riding the hogmonkeys first, though. You don't have to hold your breath with them." Another, sleepier giggle. "I could see you wrestling a hogmonkey. You'd get it to let you ride in no time."

Yeah, he's drifting off now.

[tookthewheel]

"That's two different animals again, kid." Bucky says quietly, watching Aang and shifting to make himself a little more comfortable before the boy is truly asleep. The tribble seems to have no argument about the situation, nestling into Aang's head with another soft coo of contentment.

He'll stay, at least a little while until he's certain Aang is truly asleep. Then maybe he'll ease himself out of that monkey grip to carry on his way but for now Bucky is content to stay here, taking the opportunity to recuperate a little more himself.