thecapitol | and then there's this jerk

Entry tags:

and then there's this jerk

Who| MCU!Bucky and Sam
What| Belated heads up about Rumlow and Hydra talk
Where| Training center
When| At some point after Rumlow's arrival
Warnings/Notes| Will add if needed!

One of the first things that Sam does after leaving the bar where he'd run into Rumlow is to start looking for Steve, Natasha, or Barnes. They might already know Rumlow's here - especially Natasha, Sam's still 90% sure she knows just about everything - but if they don't, he wants to make sure to give them a heads up.

Not that Rumlow's all that big of a threat, compared to the Capitol, but it's still not exactly something Sam's happy about.

He goes for Barnes first, because he has a feeling that a Hydra agent showing up will be most relevant to him, and finds him in the training center.

"Barnes, man, you got a sec?"

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Sam has good instincts, or it's that Bucky is so deeply routed into the comfort of routine that it makes him predictable.

The other man can't know that Bucky has already learned of Rumlow's presence, or had his own encounter with the man which had gone rapidly downhill on his side. At first he'd retreated upstairs to District 9, brooding in the safe familiarity of Steve's room before he'd been filled with a restless energy that he had to work out of himself before he did something he'd regret with it.

Like kill outside of the arena.

He already broke two of the training dummies, so now he's pounding on a punching bag, primarily using his fists with force enough that the right hand will be sporting cracked skin across his knuckles despite the tape he'd wrapped round them. The voice causes him to snap his head round and for a moment the Winter Soldier stares at Sam before recognition registers and Bucky creeps back in.

"What?"

He holds still, waiting calmly. Sam’s a hell of a lot less wary now than the first time he’d stumbled on Barnes here in the training center, but there’s still a touch of it under the surface, until he can see that spark of recognition back in Barnes’s eyes.

Then his gaze flicks down to the guy’s wrapped hand. “Well, first, I’m not gonna stop you doing what you’re doing, but will you at least let me take a look at that after?”

He doesn’t know how quickly Barnes can heal here, but he still wants to check.

“Second, I wanted to give you a heads up about someone who got here a little bit ago.”

Bucky looks down at his hand and blinks in what is obviously surprise. In his focused state, pouring all that anger and fear into violent expression, he hadn't realised the toll it had taken on his weakened body. Before such damage would have vanished in a few hours, now his hand will be sore for days.

He flexes it, now registering the sting of his broken skin for the first time.

"Brock Rumlow."

It's a guess but as far as Bucky knows the HYDRA agent is the only new arrival of any note to him.

Yeah, that’s not an answer at all, except that clearly Barnes hadn’t even realized he was injuring himself. He’s not sure if it’s because Barnes isn’t used to not healing quickly, or he’d been too out of it to notice, or some combination of both, but it doesn’t change his question.

He’s about to ask it again, when Barnes says the name of the guy he’d come here to talk about. Okay, then, he guesses trying to cajole him into letting Sam do some first aid is going to be put on hold for a bit.

“Right, well, so much for that heads up. You super soldiers, always faster than me.” He scrubs a hand over the back of his neck. “You talk to him?”

He drops his hand, now that's he's registered the wound the ache of it cannot be forgotten. It's no bad thing in this case, it helps him focus. Not a healthy method but an effective one.

"You wanted to warn me." he says, like Sam hadn't just stated just that fact. Bucky's gaze slides to the side at the question and he nods.

Impulsively, foolishly, he had, driven by the need to prove himself and register that he could disobey in the face of a representative of those who'd enslaved him. He didn't think of what could be said in return, the knowledge that Rumlow could possess to harm him with. He still doesn't know the extent of it.

“Yeah, man, of course I did. I had to put up with listening to his some of bullshit the last time he tried to kill me, I wouldn’t want to spring that on any of us unannounced.”

Barnes especially. Sam doesn’t know how much contact they’d had with each other, or how much Barnes even remembers, but it’s still bad news.

“Can I ask - what’d he say to you? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, won’t upset me.” But he’s curious, and, well. He wants to get an idea of how much trouble Rumlow’s going to be.

"He was there, he was one of the agents assigned to make Project Insight succeed."

He's tried to remember anything more specific since laying eyes on Rumlow with small success. He knows the man's face, he knows his title and place in the change of command but there's more there he can't recall.

Bucky clenches his hand tight at the question, just thinking about those words threatened to send him into another fit of anger. "... I should have killed him."

Sam nods, making a noise of agreement, even if that hadn’t been a question. Yeah, Rumlow’d been there. Failed miserably at his mission, though, at least Sam can take comfort in that.

“Back home? I’d say yeah, probably.” Well, no, he probably wouldn’t agree that Barnes should have killed him, but considering Sam probably would have tried to kill him himself if they hadn’t been here, he’s a little bit of a hypocrite there.

“But here, even if you had, what’s to stop them from bringing him back? I thought he was dead when I left him back there, and here he is anyway. Dealing with him isn’t going to be that easy.”

"Not if I killed him outside the arena..."

Maybe no one told Sam that little detail yet, that the Capitol could only resurrect those who died in the arena's. If you were killed in the Capitol or elsewhere that would be it for you or anyone else.

"But they would punish me if I did."

It was the only reason that Bucky had managed to hold back at first, downstairs at the bar, despite all the bottled up rage threatening to break free. Maybe he should anyway before Rumlow had the chance to speak and taken whatever the Capitol threw at him, it might be better than the roar of doubt in his head thanks to the HYDRA agents words.

“...huh.” No, no one’s mentioned that little tidbit to him. He knows there’ve been people who were executed, ones who hadn’t come back, but he’d just assumed it was because the Capitol chose not to revive them. Sam hadn’t examined how any of that worked too closely, for the sake of his sanity, but now it’s got him wondering what it is about the arena that makes it different.

“Yeah, they would. And from what I’ve heard of the Capitol’s punishment, it doesn’t sound like it’d be worth it.” If they even let it get that far. “But he’s a different threat level for you and me, you might have a different opinion.”

"No. I'll kill him in the arena instead."

Pointless, someone might say, because what good would it do in the long run? Rumlow would come back to life the same as the rest of them and they could repeat this cycle, over and over again.

It's not... not about that though. It's not about (entirely) about killing Rumlow out of a sense of practicality in eliminating a dangerous threat to himself and his allies, it's about proving something. He needs to prove he can act against HYDRA, to the point he can kill a commander without breaking to order.

"He's HYDRA, that's all I need to know." He clenches his fist tighter, the rawness of the skin sparking pain that he grounds himself in.

“Then it looks like we’ve got the same opinion.”

Both about killing him in the arena, and about the fact that Rumlow being HYDRA is all they need to know. Sam’d had to listen to some of Rumlow’s speech about it, he’s pretty sure he knows exactly how much of the Kool-aid the guy’s drunk.

Sam’s eyes fall to Barnes’ hand again, watching him clench it with just a touch of concern. “As far as grounding techniques go, that’s a pretty good one in the moment, but it’s not exactly a great long term solution.”

He starts a little, sparing a glance for his bloodied hand.

True to his word Sam had taught Bucky about other grounding techniques, the use of pain not among them. This method had come spur of the moment during their talk but now that he considers it, Bucky isn't sure it's a new one for him. Maybe he'd used it before or had it used on him in the field when he was doing HYDRA's work.

He doesn't mind the pain, really, because while he feels it sharp and clear it's nothing compared to the electric fire of a Wipe racing through his brain. Bucky doesn't think any pain could compare to that, certainly none in his current memory did.

"I..." Thinking about the Wipes was a mistake, given the words that Rumlow had said to him. It was precisely the reason he'd taken to beating into a punching bag for. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Sam's called way too many people on that to think of letting it slide here, even if he probably should have at least thought on it. "It's okay not to be fine, you know. You don't have to tell me what Rumlow told you and you don't have to let me in on how you're feeling about it-" It's pretty obvious, anyway, at least part of it. "-but you don't have to pretend, either. I won't try to patch you up if you don't want me to, fine or not."

As long as it's not life or death, anyway, there's a high chance Sam'll renege on it if it comes to that.

"You don't know." he snaps, a spark of erratic anger sounding in his voice, misdirected from its true target towards Sam. "You don't know what they -- what he did, you don't know!"

This is not a good place or a good time to fly off the handle about these things and he clenches his fist tighter again to try and stop himself. There are microphones, cameras and witnesses around them in numbers, none of whom Bucky wants to advertise this to.

It's almost good to see Barnes angry like that, even if this far from a good place for him to display that kind of emotion about what'd happened to him. Barnes has every right to be so damn furious about this, to get the anger out in a safe space, where he knows it won't be turned back against him. Right now, the thing Sam hates the Capitol the most for, is for taking that away from him.

"No, I don't," he agrees quietly. He can guess, bits and pieces based on what he's seen of Barnes back home and here, but he doesn't really know. "Do you want me to know? If there wasn't anyone else watching?"

Normally he has such iron control over his emotions, at suppressing his emotions, once thinking that he didn't even have them. It had been better that way and not worth the penalty for displaying them. The only thing he can remember before Insight is showing fear right as the chairs apparatus came down around his head, even Hydra had seemed to find that excusable.

He needs that control back because if he lets it go now Bucky's not sure he'll be able to get a handle on himself again. The chasm inside himself might devour him if he lets it open even a little.

Sam gets himself a stare for his question, "I..." he isn't sure. He's afraid to let people know because what would they do if they knew the truth? All the horror that he has done and had done to him, what if it would drive the precious good things he has gained away? There is more blood on his hands than he knows. "... don't know."

"Fair enough. You don't have to have the answer right now."

But keeping all that inside him is definitely not doing him any favors, long term. It'd be different, maybe, if Barnes wasn't ready to start expressing it, but judging by that display of anger, it's there. He's just holding it back, either because of the Capitol, or because of a holdover from Hydra, or both, Sam can't be sure.

"If you decide you want me to - or hell, if not me, someone else - I'll do everything I can to give you a decent place to get it out."

Venus has already showed him one of the Capitol's blindspots, given him a long list of others; the only places Sam knows of that the Capitol won't be listening. He doubts she had anything like this in mind when she told him about them, but it's the best idea Sam's got.

The only way he'd wanted to express his anger before was in hunting down Hydra and making them answer for what they'd done to him. Not an option, though, not anymore, not here except for one solitary member who'd kicked this whole thing off in the first place with his arrival.

Is he unstable? Just like Rumlow said, is it just a matter of time until he snaps without the Wipes to keep him under control? He doesn't know what to think but hates the idea because it fits in with all the moments, this one the last in a long line, where he's felt out of control and if he lets go he might never get it back.

That's what makes him shirk back from Sam's offer for the moment, the fear of losing what little control he has over himself. He nods mutely to show he's heard.

Small steps, here, small steps. That's all Sam's really hoping for, so when Barnes nods at him, he nods back.

“Okay. I’ll be here, you can update me any time you want.”

He glances down, looking at Barnes’ hand again. “You gonna keep going with that?”

He looks down at his hand, then lifts it, holding his metal fingers around his human wrist as he looks at his bloodied knuckles and then finally shakes his head. "No. I'm done."

The damage is done in more ways than one, he probably shouldn't go making it worse. The arena could happen soon and he shouldn't be taking himself into it already injured.

All right, Sam has to admit to being relieved at that. There’s no way he would have been able to do nothing while Barnes kept at it with his hand like that, but he isn’t at all sure how trying to talk Barnes out of it would have gone.

“So let me patch it up? I’m going to need to practice all my skills before the arena, and first aid’s one of the best I’ve got.”

Bucky considers his options regarding the offer and finds them limited. The wound is minor and he could probably patch it up himself, or failing that go and find Bruce. Actually he would be fine with just leaving it to heal like this but given this is not the first time Sam has brought up being allowed to fix it letting him might be the easier option.

Or that's the excuse he let's himself have to be allowed unnecessary maintenance.

"Okay."

It's definitely the easier choice, and the one that makes Sam smile a little bit. He's glad Barnes didn't call him on his sort of true but still mostly flimsy excuse, the same as he had when Steve didn't call him on the fact that there wasn't really a girl at the front desk Sam wanted to look awesome for.

"Appreciate it," he says, nodding his head towards a section of the training center. "C'mon, there's a med kit over there. Then I'll quit hounding you, I swear."

"Alright." he says quietly, starting to loosen the tape he'd wound around his hand as he follows Sam's footsteps to the where the first aid kit is waiting. Bucky can't help but feel suddenly tired after everything that's happened today and so, when Sam's finished with his hand, he thinks he'll retreat to his room and try to rest.

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and then there's this jerk

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wrap this up here?

Yep!