thecapitol | And you don't know why, but you're dying to try...

It is not without his best attempts to avoid the situation that Thor calls this private meeting. He had thought it would fade in time, his disbelief leading him to think it was a misunderstanding not worth altering their friendship or damaging what they have. Unfortunately, it had become impossible to deny when he'd seen it played back on the screens for him. The high definition sound and sight of it had made sure there was no room to be mistaken. She had confessed and under the influence of illness or not, it would need to be addressed.

To his shame, it takes him a little while to face it. A few days to mull over how to approach it without offending her, without running the risk of being punched in the face and, most importantly, without damaging their friendship for good. He wants to be friends. He doesn't want more. It feels a little less true every time he repeats that to himself. Every time he considers how he truly feels for Sif, the respect and admiration he holds for her and the mix of fear and relief knowing she was here alongside him he feels his heart grow more confused.

His love for Jane remains strong, but their romance is worn with sadness and loneliness and frustration that shakes weakened foundations. She deserves happiness beyond him, she deserves romance that isn't a perpetual state of waiting. But thinking of Sif in another light and his feelings toward Jane and the future of their relationship are not mutually exclusive. His considerations aren't born from a desire to move from one woman to the next, it's merely something that has been haunting his mind for some time. This is not the place for romantic complications, but it cannot always be fought off. This is a place for relationships that can weather any storm, from death and dismay to love and affection.

If he knows Sif like he thinks he does, then they can come to some sort of reason, but perhaps he does not know her quite as well as he imagined. This entire situation comes as a surprise to him through and through, after all. He only hopes he can handle it with the delicacy it deserves.

His eyes fall on Sif when he steps out onto the roof, remembering their first conversation and the turn it had taken as well. She had been so angry with him then, can he hope to repair their friendship a second time if he should be clumsy with it? He cannot help but note that the light of the moon does her justice, but he feels ill even considering it at a time like this. He crushes down the sudden rush of affection and steps out into the light she's standing in.

"Sif." He speaks up, his voice more commanding than he means it to be. "I would speak with you." He damns himself, that's why he asked her up here of course. "It is a private manner, one of which I hope you can forgive me for bringing to light."

Sif will face any foe without hesitation or fear, she will march straight into the deadliest territory and she will make any sacrifice if she believes it to be the right thing to do.

In one sentence, Thor has made her heart quake with fear.

It is not that she cannot live without him, she knows that she can. She knows that should everything they have shatter she will live on, she will heal and she will persevere... but by all that is right and good she doesn't want to.

Thor has been there for her through some of the worst times in her life. He believed in her when precious few did, he has comforted her when she could no longer keep grief inside, he has fought by her side and they have laughed and cried and bled together.

He is her best friend in this world, and for all that she may wish for him to be more she doesn't need him to be, and that is why she has cursed that damnable, drug-addled confession with every other breath since she woke up in the Capitol after her death.

She stops her pacing and tries to look calm as she turns to him, though she does not attempt a smile, knowing it would not succeed in looking anything but false.

"Then speak quickly, so that I may forgive you sooner."

Best have it over and done with swiftly, rather than drawing it out, she thinks.

It is not like Thor to hesitate. He has learned patience, to be sure, but his actions are generally bold and rash. To wait days before seeking counsel when he knows it is necessary is unlike him. All of this is unlike him. This shy and uncertain approach, these situations he cannot pretend to be confident in. This isn't a battle with strange enemies, this is the borders of love and friendship that he's wobbling along. The consequences of hurting the others on the field with him are too great to take the sweeping and grand approaches he's accustomed to. Thor is a true romantic through and through, but now he's just confused.

His heart almost aches when she turns, her calm is as much a facade as his own, but they must allow each other to pretend that they have this control. He searches for the phrasing he'd gone over in his mind a million times, but it becomes easier to speak candidly. He will say his piece and be careful from then on, when he has a better sense of how this may turn.

"As you wish." He says compliantly, drawing in a small breath before he lets it out in words. "Something has been troubling me. Since the Arena, Sif. When you passed- not only was there a distressing sadness- there was.. confusion." He pauses, then opens his mouth to continue before shutting it again and letting his brain catch up with his mouth. "You said something to me, something of importance. I had not thought it to be true, but there is little that we say that will not repeat itself later on in this place." He doesn't want to look too sympathetic, he doesn't want to belittle her, but he wants her to know that he understands that this isn't a good feeling for either of them. "I must know, Sif. Is that truly how you feel? Have I been blind and do you think me a fool for it or am I fool for believing what I have come to see?" He almost sputters that out. This is more stilted than he ever likes to be. "I am a great fool no matter what the situation may be." He offers with a mirthless chuckle, trying desperately to make this less tense.

Sif is silent for a long moment after he stops speaking, eyes cast down because she knows she will never manage to gather her thoughts and put them in any sort of coherent order if she tries it while looking at him.

What to say? She considers denying it all, blaming the poison and calling it nothing more than delirious ramblings but... that would be lying, and that seems to her a poor way to preserve their friendship.

She takes a couple of deep, fortifying breaths, and then she looks back up at Thor.

"I told you the truth, though it was never my intent to burden you with it since I know you do not feel the same. The poison unfortunately weakened my resolve."

Edited (too much tired typing) 2014-10-26 00:34 (UTC)

It is now that Thor expects her to lash out at him. To scold him for so much as asking and remind him that she was ill, that she meant none of it. He doesn't know if he hopes for that, though he knows it would be much simpler. It's brought about a strange interest in him that feels selfish to possess, it's a feeling he's trying his damnedest to ignore.

When she looks up at him again, it's difficult not to look away. He's not sure if it's out of fear or guilt, but it's hard to face her even as she's admitting the truth so calmly. It takes him a long moment to process, his eyes falling downward for a moment as he searches for the words to say.

"You know that I would not do you the dishonor of thinking less of you for your feelings, Sif. It is merely that I almost cannot fathom the idea of it." He needs to admit that, get that out in the open. The fact that it's so hard to believe is making it very hard to properly handle this situation. "If it isn't too bold to ask- how long has it been so?"

If he finds it hard to believe that she loves him now, her answer to his next question is probably not going to make things easier for him to comprehend.

"Since we were young. But other things were more important to me then than winning a prince's heart."

And she had wanted to be respected as a warrior in her own right rather than people bowing and scraping because she was looked upon with an eye of favor by Thor. Hence any attempts at flirtation from his side had been rather sharply rebuffed, even if parts of her enjoyed them.

"Being your friend was enough, and then I met Haldor."

She had loved that man fiercely, even if the glow of affection beyond friendship in her heart for Thor had never quite left her, perhaps because it had never been fully explored.

"After his death it... took me a long time to consider the possibility of having a lover again."

She gives Thor a mirthless little smile.

"I might not have considered it at all had it not been for you."

It almost didn't seem worth it, to open up in that way, to let someone matter that much when they could so easily be ripped away from you by nothing more than a touch and a word. But Thor has always managed to make things seem... more possible. In some ways he has more of a gift for persuasion than his wily brother ever had, simply through his own strength of conviction.

"But the time never seemed to be right for it and then you found your Jane. We are friends, Thor. We will always be friends. There is nothing to be confused about. I expect nothing, I want nothing from you beyond what you already give me. I know you do not feel as I do, and I have made my peace with it."

Edited 2014-10-26 15:36 (UTC)

Since we were young resonates in his mind before she's even finished speaking. It's been so long since he reflected on it and thought about what a stupid boy he was. He was perpetually picking fights and dooming anyone who had the bad sense to trust him, but he'd almost forgotten his absolute fascination with Sif and his growing, foolish affections for her. He's not even sure how earnest he'd been with his approaches, but even now he knows that she'd left quite the impression on him to have won his dedicated attentions.

"I hadn't thought you interested in the slightest then either, much to my chagrin." He observes with a wry smile, trying to bring some light back into the situation. "I embarrassed myself quite readily for little more than a raise of your brow." It's coming back to him now, his fascination with her that had grown into admiration for her strength. His appreciation for the challenge she posed and her loyalty as a friend. He is not the boy he was all those years ago, just as she is not the girl, but those are traits she still possesses and ones he still values.

His expression sobers when she mentions Haldor and he nods in understanding, knowing him to be a reason for the feelings he had detached himself from so long ago. It was not like him to give up, but clearly he had respected her enough to do so. A small smile tugs at his lips when she explains that she'd had a change of heart, he wonders where his mind had been when it happened.

"There is little in this world or the next that could see us as anything less, good lady Sif." He assures, his tone softening when he does. "Just tell me that I have not been a brazen fool. I could not bear the thought of you withstanding my insufferable ignorance for so long." He cannot bring himself to think or speak of Jane in this moment, so that train of thought passes by with little more than a nod of acknowledgment. Clarifying his feelings in that regard is unnecessary, he must focus on the conversation at hand as it pertains to them.

"Do you think my expectations of you are so high that I demand that you read minds to understand the people around you?"

She follows his lead and attempts to bring at least the ghost of levity into the situation as well, warmed by memories of their shared past. He was a foolish boy, it's true, and he grew into a rather foolish man as well in many ways. But he is good, always has been, and so she loves him anyway, for his flaws just as much as his virtues.

"You did not know of my feelings because I chose not to let you know."

She shakes her head at him with a smile that can only be called mild, much as that word is rarely a good descriptive to use when it comes to Sif.

"You have not been a fool."

And the smile grows just a little bit, a familiar teasing glint lighting up her eyes in spite of the gravity of what they are discussing.

"In this matter, at least."

"You've always been the sort to expect the best from all around you."

His smile is warm when he considers the truth of that. For as long as he can remember Sif has been by his side, one of the truer helpers in seeing his foolishness and never treating him differently regardless of his parentage or prestige.

It's odd how a path you had not pursued out of respect becomes all the easier to consider when the permission has been granted. He doesn't see Sif as an option to move on to, he had hardly considered moving on at all. It's simply that there are feelings there, buried long ago, that are rousing despite himself.

He loves Jane so dearly, but everything he feels for her right now leads him to sadness. His own feelings he can tolerate, but to know that she suffers the same sort of sadness would pain him. He knows she holds the ability to move on in time, he knows she tried to as well- so why does he condemn himself for so much as considering it.

"Sif.." He starts, but he doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know how he feels so he can hardly address it. He focuses his gaze on her face for the longest time before acting.

Maybe it's loneliness he's felt for the past few months, maybe it's a surge of emotions he's pent up for years. It could simply be a search for comfort in a horrible place- but Thor is almost certain it's those eyes and that smile that lead him forward. He feels such relief knowing that he's not been a fool, but he falls straight into being a fool again.

He places his hands on his face and he kisses her. Deeply. It isn't the kiss of a friend. It's the kiss of a man with a rush of feelings he doesn't know how to handle and a strong affection for a woman who has been one of the few things keeping him together. He can't bring himself to pull away, he lips are soft and the passion is like nothing he's felt for what feels like years more than months. He's as excited as he is disgusted with himself, but it's hard to imagine anything that feels so pleasant could end badly.

Edited 2014-10-27 10:51 (UTC)

The kiss is very unexpected, but it doesn't leave her so baffled that she could not stop it from happening should she have wished to. Perhaps she should have. Perhaps she should have turned her face away with a gentle reminder that they have not truly settled anything yet and urged Thor to make sure that he knew what he wanted before making a move like this.

Yes, perhaps she should have done that, but while she is in some ways more level-headed than Thor there is a reason still why she has followed him on so many reckless quests and it is not just because she loves him and has always tried to at least keep him from getting himself killed in his search for adventure.

She is not a woman who is overly comfortable with long discussions and debates. She is driven by action and it has been some six hundred years since the last time she really kissed someone, so when Thor moves in to put an end to that she welcomes it, because words will never convey the depth of her affection for him. Actions might.

She wraps her arms around him and kisses him back with all the pent-up passion and frustration that she has felt for so long, more than ever here in this place. Pulling away is the last thing on her mind, more and yes taking up too much space for much else to fit at the moment though there will be much to consider later when she is not having her brain short-circuited by a pair of glorious lips.

Perhaps it only feels so right because she wants it so much, but even so it does feel as if this is the way it was always supposed to be. They fit.

"Well this looks. Cosy?"

Tony had come up to enjoy the skyline, one of the few things about Panem that didn't give him a sour taste here. While admittedly that was a growing list it had been growing slowly.

He came up here regularly and had up until now been intimate moment free.
And the fact he had walked in on Thor kissing someone not his Jane while a bit surprising considering how his latest trip back to Earth had been to find her. At the same time Tony could hardly blame him for reaching out to Sif.

Whatever keeps you sane.

While he hadn't tried to interupt them on purpose it was more ge spoke because he didn't expect to see it.

There are a lot of should ofs and shouldn't haves in this situation. He should have stepped away, he should have controlled himself better and he shouldn't have made this more complicated than it is. But it's already so complicated, isn't it? It's hard not to let all the stress and anger manifest into something irrational, it's hard not to hold onto a good feeling and a good impulse and make something of it.

Thor knows now that words are better than many actions, but there is little better in the way of summing up feelings of affection than grand gestures of them. He's confused about many things, but he's certain that he feels something for Sif. Something powerful. He needs more time to think, without having Sif hurt by his need to consider everything. He pulls away slowly, the reluctance to clear in the way his lips linger, but that all speeds up when Tony Stark appears on the scene.

Who better to delay rational thought than him? Really. Thor steps away fast, put his hands hover at Sif's sides protectively.

"Stark." He address him warily, entirely unsure how he intends to react, let alone Sif.

Sif does consider punching Tony in the face for his interruption, but she manages to restrain herself from following through with that impulse even if it leaves her looking very tense indeed.

She only acknowledges Tony with a nod and a look that positively screams "go away", even as she feels the moment slip through her fingers like so much sand. She knows that even if Stark were to just turn and leave, what she would be left with is an uncomfortable Thor who would certainly not wish to get back to kissing her.

They dreamed for a moment, and have now been treated to a rather rude awakening.

When confronted with Thor's wariness and Sif's clear irritated tense expression, the first thing that Tony was resoundingly aware of was the he had nothing in his hands and was on the verge of fidgeting before stuffing his hands into his pockets.

This was an awkward enough scenario that Tony didn't need to look fidgety and nervous which would lead him to saying something that would end up with him in pain somehow.

"Ah. I don't know about your customs, Xenology isn't really a thing I've looked into, too many interesting things on this planet to worry about others. But normally, if we want privacy, you put a sock or a tie on the door knob."

He turns to look back at the elevator doors.

"Which... There are none, okay so that would make things a little harder."

There was a little voice telling Tony to just leave them to their making out and to stop making this all worse. But, even the voice knew Tony was never going to listen to it.

If the kiss felt as if the world sped up, this feels as if it's slowed to a crawl. A horrible, slow crawl over a bed of hot nails. Thor is hyper aware of every awkward huff of breath and glance to the side and it's making it hard to remain still.

When Tony speaks, Thor's expression darkens as well. His ability to deal with this situation quickly goes out the window. Even if he and Tony have been doing much better, even if they've been understanding each other's humor with more ease, it's just not something he wants to deal with right now.

Instead of deigning him with an answer or dismissing him, he inhales, draws himself up to his full height and moves to step away from the situation. "Good night." He breezes past Tony's shoulder without a glance backward, leaving them to handle things as they will. He feels badly for it, but he can only see it getting worse before it gets better.

Sif understands why he does it, she well and truly does but... she still wants to slap Thor silly for abandoning her like that.

For a moment she just stares blankly at his retreating back, trying to catch up with what just happened, and then she focuses her gaze on Tony. It is a struggle to not make him a target for all of her frustration, but she manages to reign her temper in before it explodes.

"This was not... a good moment for you to appear, Tony."

Yes, she is aware that he is probably painfully conscious of this fact, but she is going to point that out anyway.

Look at it this way, she's not punching him so things could be a lot worse.

Tony takes great care to not so much as make a sudden movement so much as he does a very good statue impression as Thor went past. On good terms or not, Tony walked in on something he shouldn't and frankly, he knows how hard the guy can hit and he doesn't have the suit to protect him this time.

Once Thor has actually past him however, Tony does at least turn to watch him go, until Sif speaks.

"Believe me, that was a fact I'm more than a little aware of."

He says while still facing the elevator that's now probably taking Thor back to his floor before turning back to Sif, looking a little confused.

"Do I want to ask what that was even about, or is this the end a Taylor Swift song? Because." He gestures between her and the elevator to imply Thor. "This isn't going to be a simple break up song with a catchy tune if things go wrong here."

Okay, so Tony really can't do feeling talks very well. Anything that requires serious thought about something that wasn't a direct attack on him was never something he was good at. But he knows Sif, he likes her even. Thor too not that he'd ever admit it without making it sound like he was kidding.

"If I am to be honest with you... I do not think I can actually tell you what that was."

Because she hasn't got a clue.

The kiss had been a sudden thing, not something that she expected at all and now that Thor is gone she is left feeling... adrift.She wants to believe that his kiss was meant to tell her that he feels the same thing she does, that he loves her back and that he wants to be with her but... at the same time she knows it simply cannot be so simple as that.

Tony hazards a chance to come closer to Sif while she tries to wrap her head around what had just happened.

"So I guess the next question is. 'Is this something you wanted and want more of?' Well that's two but it's along the same vein so I'm counting it as one."

He stops out of reach distance then tilts his head.

"Because that look you were giving me, gives me a decent idea which direction that answers going to be in."

Tony might be oblivious to many things, and claim not to be a romantic, but he secretly was and didn't like the idea of people pining after people they couldn't have for real or imagined reasons.

She very nearly snaps at him to stay out of her business, since it is none of his, but... well, he saw what happened, and even if she does not think that she owes him any explanations she may as well talk about it now that it was all more or less shoved in his face.

"Yes, it was something I wanted."

It was in fact something she had wanted for quite a while.

"Though not... quite in that manner."

"I don't think it's meant to happen in the manner you want."

At least, it hasn't with Tony. But he does have a lot of bad timing on his own part sometimes, like almost dying only to be nearly killed by a drunk Russian mad man.

"I don't really hug things out. But The bar is still open if you want to talk over drinks." He pauses then gives his head a slight wiggle as he thinks. "Or we could both pretend I was never here and not bring it up again, all in your court here."

"Who wants 'that kiss' on a building you live in that demands you mass murder people on a regular basis?"

He shrugs then moves closer to her, or at least past her enough so he can lean back against the roof's railings, he can hear the forcefeild's buzz faintly behind him but ignores it.

"Guessing this was a feeling before he happened to notice a growing in notoriety astrophysicist from Midgard? Or was it after, One of those 'don't realise until it's gone' moments?"

It probably shows how much heart-to-hearts are not something Tony's actually used to, however one of the few upsides to being brought here is that he can't just hide from the world in his lab, so as far as he sees it this place has forced him to make friends, and Tony doesn't like to give up anything once it's become his in his mind.

Even if the 'it' is certain people.

Sif nods, confirming that Tony is indeed pretty spot on in his assessment of her emotions.

"I have loved him since we were... very young. He is not the only man I have felt such affection for but..."

She shrugs a little, not sure she can adequately put into words what Thor has always meant to her. Even when she would have turned him down, had she realised that he was actually trying to win her favor, Thor was always... well, Thor. Something just a bit apart from everything else in her life.

"He's the one who lingers. Know the feeling."

And Pepper was indeed the reason for his knowledge on that front.
He casts a contemplative look towards the elevator, once again treating it like a Thor stand in.

"Keeping in mind that this is just a suggestion and I already know enough women who would like to hurt me. Want me to feel him out for you?"

After all, he liked Sif, probably more than he likes Thor, if only because she tends to insult him less, so he doesn't really like the idea of her pining for Thor when there could always be something done about it. It wasn't the first time Tony's offered romance help, and there's the high chance it won't be the last time either.

"I think if I want there to be anyone feeling Thor I'd rather take care of it myself."

Said with a wry smile and a sarcastic tone that made it rather clear that she knew what Tony meant.

"If you were to ask him about what happened here, he would not be well pleased, I think."

As far as she knew, Tony and Thor did not exactly get along after all.

Edited 2015-01-03 17:38 (UTC)

He looks mock surprised at her sass, then she smiles.

"Well, don't waste time feeling down about things. I like that, probably a good quality to have." He almost wants to say 'around Thor' but decides not to be that much of a tool right now.

"Yeah, He's never exactly been pleased with anything I've had to say to him in general. So adding to it doesn't really bother me." He rubs at his nose thoughtfully. "Besides, this is a friend thing, isn't it? Being all curious and concerned about them."

He gestures vaguely at nothing as he tries to get his thought out. Pepper and Rhodie have always talked to him about things that he did that made them curious or concerned, and while he's never previously tried to given even half a damn about most people, he knows that here and especially with the Avengers and co he should probably make an effort now. Sure, Pepper and Rhodie's efforts never worked on him, mostly because he was able to out stubborn or out manoeuvre them.

And you don't know why, but you're dying to try...

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SORRY, I DIDN'T TRACK THIS!! But it's tracked now.

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