The Initiate Fraysong ♑ (Young GHB) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
carnagecarnival) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thecapitol2014-09-30 08:04 pm
carnagecarnival) wrote in thecapitol2014-09-30 08:04 pm
I picked my life up piece by piece in the style of an awful metaphor
Who| Initiate and Open (with a special prompt for all those who helped him in arena)
What| Initiate is no longer avox. But he's still a little different.
Where| D5 floor, around the tribute tower, and the speakeasy
When| Forward dated to after his death and revival, late week 6.
WARNINGS| Language. Animal death mention?
A -- (For Jane Shepard, and Open)
He wakes up to a self unfamiliar. With a sudden breath of air and a clear head. Clear of the drink, clear of...
The Avox, the Alternian, the Other-- that's what he'd been calling it. All him, part of him, now and forever. But he thinks, at least now, he recognizes the Other a bit more. Enough that he can slip into this new skin and feel comfortable enough to explore what as it will do for him.
This new skin comes with a healed leg, one he can walk on without limping-- which is as weird as the last time he had a leg injury. It comes with those stupid little fins he'd hated so much before they were gone with only the ghost of an ache. It comes with a tongue, which settles all strange in his mouth. If he tries, he can probably make a sound now. He doesn't.
His hair feels strange all long now. He wonders if he should cut it of his own volition this time. For now, he will simply braid it back, and with that all done, he carries himself on out of the room, trying not to feel like a ghost what ain't really here with no presence to his name. He finds a water for himself from the district five fridge, then heads on to settle into one of the lounge chairs. He doesn't have to do anything. He does have to go anywhere at all. He hasn't got a job here right now. He just has to keep telling himself that.
B -- (For Terezi and Signless, Closed)
There's a weight around his neck. He'd almost not noticed it, with everything else, but he does now. He can feel the tube of paint and know he ain't got to be a bare-faced sinner disgrace for his Messiah anymore. There's a golden goat's skull; the necklace from his moirail. There are three rings interlocked, teal, indigo, mutant red. His ashmates
He'd spent too long over his ownself and upon the realisation, he curses himself for it. He had people to find.
And not find. Like Kurloz, over which he evicted no exclamation like he had the last time he'd wandered into district two, or when he watched Kurloz be dragged off with Gamzee. As his face twists in the empty doorway, he has no doubt in him that this time his other self won't be coming back. There's a second or two where as he prays, bids the motherfucker on to shangri-la , and then he moves along. He's Kurloz now. There's nothing what as he can do for this past.
Or the future, it turns out. The Disciple wasn't the first on his list or even someone what he'd call close, but she was with the three of them when they were on the run and, truth told, he's hesitant to look for, say, Terezi first in case she might not be there. But with the wake up call before him now, he wastes no more time.
He goes to find his ashmates, fidgeting the red and teal of the rings on him as he hurries on through the halls. If the Signless ain't there, so help him, he'll leave a goddamn note. And Terezi... with a heavy weight in him, he decides not to think if she ain't there. He raps his knuckles upon the door.
C -- (Open)
He ain't an avox. Not anymore. He knows that.
But on some level, he supposes he doesn't, because when them things spill, he wastes no time in dropping to kneel. He picks it all up piece by piece, slowing only for a short second and frowning as the realisation hits him of what he's doing. But then sure as sure, he's picking everything all back up anyway. He might as well, he's already done this much.
He rises up to give all back to the rightful owner. Whoever that is to be.
D -- (Open, especially to every single person who helped him in arena or even just talked to him)
There were a lot of people what had helped him back there. A lot of motherfucking people. More people than he thinks he's ever had deigning to nicety at one singular time. It's weird, in retrospect, and it leaves an odd feeling in him, one he's not sure how long all he wants to get a ponder on to.
But he owed these people. He ought to say something to these people. He knows this but he also know such things as they be is, well, a whole other sort of weird in itself. So he comes up with a new idea instead.
It doesn't take horrendously long to catch the proper amount of rats and birds needed, but still some time (and much of that is spent determinedly ignoring the looks of capitolites and the pressing feeling that he's out of place there and would be more in place in an avox uniform). Once done though, he finds himself falling into step easy with cleaning the corpses and collecting the bones and feathers from the dead things. He's already got the string pieces ready and he settles into that same comfortable quiet as he did when he did this in arena with some teeth. They're not particularly elaborate or superbly fanciful, just bones and beaks dipped into color and strung together, but they're things what he can slip easily on a door knob with no ceremony, while still managing to thank in some small way.
He still feels ridiculous, but not as much so as he thinks he might've before this all. He didn't exactly wake up with his pride restored.
From there it's just a matter of slipping them on the doors as he'd intended. Ideally it would be without notice, but he could hardly help it if anyone caught him in the hallway.
(After all is done, much later, he's still got yet more to see. People he owes explanation to. People he owes apology. This must be what it means to start his life all the fuck over again. He can't say he's exactly eager, but he ought to chew the motherfucking munitions now. Even if it means hovering outside the door.)
E -- (Open)
Finally, his task is at it's end. There's just one last thing he wants to do. He heads to the Training Center to paint.
Just the same as always, he gathers up the paint of the camouflage area to settle before the wall. He dips his fingers into the color, raises them up to the wall. Then stops.
He's never been stuck on a painting before. This is new.
F -- (Open)
When he finally goes to the speakeasy alone and for his own whims, he orders Gin. He can recall, from the arena, drinking himself stupid with it, but of course he couldn't taste nothing of it. He had some sense of taste without a tongue but not nearly enough to truly distinguish.
Turns out Gin is pure motherfucking sin in a goddamn glass. Bluh. He coughs, sputters, looks at what he's order just to be sure it's indeed the same thing, and then pushes it away.
There's an unpleasant pout upon his features as he quickly orders a soda to rectify this madness what he hath partaken in, promptly swearing to never have such blasphemy again. He holds the soda glass in hand, sliding it carefully back and forth between the other one.
What| Initiate is no longer avox. But he's still a little different.
Where| D5 floor, around the tribute tower, and the speakeasy
When| Forward dated to after his death and revival, late week 6.
WARNINGS| Language. Animal death mention?
A -- (For Jane Shepard, and Open)
He wakes up to a self unfamiliar. With a sudden breath of air and a clear head. Clear of the drink, clear of...
The Avox, the Alternian, the Other-- that's what he'd been calling it. All him, part of him, now and forever. But he thinks, at least now, he recognizes the Other a bit more. Enough that he can slip into this new skin and feel comfortable enough to explore what as it will do for him.
This new skin comes with a healed leg, one he can walk on without limping-- which is as weird as the last time he had a leg injury. It comes with those stupid little fins he'd hated so much before they were gone with only the ghost of an ache. It comes with a tongue, which settles all strange in his mouth. If he tries, he can probably make a sound now. He doesn't.
His hair feels strange all long now. He wonders if he should cut it of his own volition this time. For now, he will simply braid it back, and with that all done, he carries himself on out of the room, trying not to feel like a ghost what ain't really here with no presence to his name. He finds a water for himself from the district five fridge, then heads on to settle into one of the lounge chairs. He doesn't have to do anything. He does have to go anywhere at all. He hasn't got a job here right now. He just has to keep telling himself that.
B -- (For Terezi and Signless, Closed)
There's a weight around his neck. He'd almost not noticed it, with everything else, but he does now. He can feel the tube of paint and know he ain't got to be a bare-faced sinner disgrace for his Messiah anymore. There's a golden goat's skull; the necklace from his moirail. There are three rings interlocked, teal, indigo, mutant red. His ashmates
He'd spent too long over his ownself and upon the realisation, he curses himself for it. He had people to find.
And not find. Like Kurloz, over which he evicted no exclamation like he had the last time he'd wandered into district two, or when he watched Kurloz be dragged off with Gamzee. As his face twists in the empty doorway, he has no doubt in him that this time his other self won't be coming back. There's a second or two where as he prays, bids the motherfucker on to shangri-la , and then he moves along. He's Kurloz now. There's nothing what as he can do for this past.
Or the future, it turns out. The Disciple wasn't the first on his list or even someone what he'd call close, but she was with the three of them when they were on the run and, truth told, he's hesitant to look for, say, Terezi first in case she might not be there. But with the wake up call before him now, he wastes no more time.
He goes to find his ashmates, fidgeting the red and teal of the rings on him as he hurries on through the halls. If the Signless ain't there, so help him, he'll leave a goddamn note. And Terezi... with a heavy weight in him, he decides not to think if she ain't there. He raps his knuckles upon the door.
C -- (Open)
He ain't an avox. Not anymore. He knows that.
But on some level, he supposes he doesn't, because when them things spill, he wastes no time in dropping to kneel. He picks it all up piece by piece, slowing only for a short second and frowning as the realisation hits him of what he's doing. But then sure as sure, he's picking everything all back up anyway. He might as well, he's already done this much.
He rises up to give all back to the rightful owner. Whoever that is to be.
D -- (Open, especially to every single person who helped him in arena or even just talked to him)
There were a lot of people what had helped him back there. A lot of motherfucking people. More people than he thinks he's ever had deigning to nicety at one singular time. It's weird, in retrospect, and it leaves an odd feeling in him, one he's not sure how long all he wants to get a ponder on to.
But he owed these people. He ought to say something to these people. He knows this but he also know such things as they be is, well, a whole other sort of weird in itself. So he comes up with a new idea instead.
It doesn't take horrendously long to catch the proper amount of rats and birds needed, but still some time (and much of that is spent determinedly ignoring the looks of capitolites and the pressing feeling that he's out of place there and would be more in place in an avox uniform). Once done though, he finds himself falling into step easy with cleaning the corpses and collecting the bones and feathers from the dead things. He's already got the string pieces ready and he settles into that same comfortable quiet as he did when he did this in arena with some teeth. They're not particularly elaborate or superbly fanciful, just bones and beaks dipped into color and strung together, but they're things what he can slip easily on a door knob with no ceremony, while still managing to thank in some small way.
He still feels ridiculous, but not as much so as he thinks he might've before this all. He didn't exactly wake up with his pride restored.
From there it's just a matter of slipping them on the doors as he'd intended. Ideally it would be without notice, but he could hardly help it if anyone caught him in the hallway.
(After all is done, much later, he's still got yet more to see. People he owes explanation to. People he owes apology. This must be what it means to start his life all the fuck over again. He can't say he's exactly eager, but he ought to chew the motherfucking munitions now. Even if it means hovering outside the door.)
E -- (Open)
Finally, his task is at it's end. There's just one last thing he wants to do. He heads to the Training Center to paint.
Just the same as always, he gathers up the paint of the camouflage area to settle before the wall. He dips his fingers into the color, raises them up to the wall. Then stops.
He's never been stuck on a painting before. This is new.
F -- (Open)
When he finally goes to the speakeasy alone and for his own whims, he orders Gin. He can recall, from the arena, drinking himself stupid with it, but of course he couldn't taste nothing of it. He had some sense of taste without a tongue but not nearly enough to truly distinguish.
Turns out Gin is pure motherfucking sin in a goddamn glass. Bluh. He coughs, sputters, looks at what he's order just to be sure it's indeed the same thing, and then pushes it away.
There's an unpleasant pout upon his features as he quickly orders a soda to rectify this madness what he hath partaken in, promptly swearing to never have such blasphemy again. He holds the soda glass in hand, sliding it carefully back and forth between the other one.
no subject
And there was something about that, the grinning countenance strangely echoing Thane's slim, deadly smiles. It was a calm that was at the eye of a storm, but where Thane's calm was the blade, Kurloz's was the wind, and either way, it pissed her off.
She was going to see that assurance damaged, dammit!
Jane took three hungry strides forward, seized him out of his indolent pose by main force, hand fisted in horn and hair, near the base where it would give her the most control. She pulled his head back with a jerk that exposed the bastard's skinny throat, and then, she kissed him.
It wasn't particularly graceful, and it wouldn't be unless he responded, but fine.
Fine.
Fuck you. We do it neither your way nor mine; but ours.
no subject
His face falls to confusion, too late for his own realisation as to what was to happen. Her hand twits in his hair, pulls his horns, and--
He flinches. He feels her mouth on his. She's trying to kiss him, finally. And his first fucking reponse is to tense up and go still like a motherfucking cullbait coward. His eyes stay closed as the process of anticipating-- pain, drugs, who knows what else-- something not like this, turns to swallowing shame.
It could've been such a good kiss. It would've been. It feels like he's been waiting ages for him to just step up and pull him down just like that. What kind of mirth forsaken kismesis is he?
His eyes open, even if all he can't quite meet her eyes right there.
With a frown and firm words that he won't allow a quaver into, he says, "DO THAT AGAIN." A beat. Come on, he has to get this. "Don't you dare fucking make me say please."
no subject
It's like a movie diorama, with him spread out like a spider on the couch, wrenched back and twisted, teeth and horns of an exotic beast, completely alien. And her bent over him, fervent as any teenager. She braces a knee on the back of the couch and reaches with the other hand.
Both horns now; you give her an inch, and she'll walk all over you.
"Such a fucking virgin," she mutters against his mouth and obeys, pressing the angle, although they both know that it wasn't inexperience that did this. It hadn't been her first time in less than gentle prisons and, Jane knew, some wounds never close.
no subject
But all she does is call him a motherfucking virgin. Whether she knows the truth or not ain't matter. If it ain't acknoweldeged, it ain't got as to be motherfucking real. Yeah, his being a virgin is totally the why and way of his flinching and nothing else. He will roll just fucking fine with that.
He'll roll even damn better with that kiss.
She takes utter control and for once, he's going to allow it. With a growl, of course, but still. He pushes up-- as much as he can when she's got him held like that-- the way he should have the first time. He bites for every time he feels his hair pull. He thinks, real distant, that it's good he has a tongue because at least he can consider taking advantage of that. He's less forceful than last time, but somehow more wanting. And he'll snarl again whenever all she pulls away.
no subject
He tastes... weird. Kissing humans isn't like kissing Asari, or Drell, for that matter, Shepard isn't sure why she's really surprised. His teeth are sharper, for one thing, and the carnivore edge continues farther back than she'd have thought before giving way to molars. It's distracting, not from what she's doing, but from her goals. From all this high-minded, thoughtful ideals, secrets, lies, making sure they don't...
Jane pauses to drag for breath and he bares his teeth like a dog, so she laughs. Puppy wants to be taken seriously by the threat, even though he was afraid.
"Well, you could at least say 'thank you' if you're not gonna say please."
no subject
He scoffs, an audible noise of pure humor. Like fuck.
"AIN'T THINKING AS HE WILL. Lest you want to go say it in covering for them other times. LEST ALL AS SHE'S WILLING ON THEM RETURN FAVORS," He says, raising his brows because he knows damn well she ain't. She's half standing over him, half-short of being in his lap. His head is all still tilted up to her.
Of course, there's a good reason for that.
"You gonna sit here and fondle my horns, Jane?" He asks, like he ain't real aware of that contact. He grins. "HONK."
no subject
This is fun, in a way that has nothing to do with death. This is competition and insults and it's just so good not to think too hard, for just a few minutes.
He was right, after all. They knew. They've always known, not that it mattered.
"Ungrateful piece of shit, ain'cha."
no subject
"It's Keratin, stupid. AIN'T GONNA FEEL NOTHING UP AT THEM TIPS ANY MORE THEN WHAT AS YOU'D FEEL ON A NAIL. I feel you fondling cause you got pressure turned on at the base what won't let me motherfucking move my head." Because that's where all the nerves are, up in the base, leading up inside the lower bit of horn where blood blood and the psychic receptions getting on going and all the Keratin is fresh and new and not yet that hardened yellow. He grins like he's won anyway. "NICE TRY."
He keeps grinning as she sits there, fucking fondling him public like the sick motherfucker she is. Even if a little nerves gets up in that, he can push it down
"And for record, I thank the Messiahs every day for giving me the patience to deal with your bitch ass."
no subject
She wonders, just for a moment about his gods. Thane did that too-- did everyone who believed in the stuff contextualize their girlfriends that way?
"Your shitty gods have got nothing to do with me," Jane temporized and, finally, let him go, leaning back as if to leave, taunting grin firmly in place. Catch me if you can.
no subject
She lets go and he's halved-- relieved all to think she ain't, and yet still annoyed that she isn't. Always, always, always motherfucking making to run, the bitch.
"HATE TO MOTHERFUCKING BREAK IT, JANE," He calls after her. "But they got everything as all to do with it. AND AS SINCE I AM STILL THEIR MOTHERFUCKING PREACHER, YOU'VE GOT YOUR ASS UP IN THE WICKED BUSINESS EVEN MOTHERFUCKING MORE SO."