[open] when you got nowhere left to go

[fintastic]

Who| Feferi and you
What| Feferi is hanging around the training center after her death, trying to distract herself by cheering other people up.
Where| Training Center, all around
When| end of Week 4/beginning of Week 5
Warnings/Notes| possible talk of death, violence, and mutilation in subthreads

It stings, losing. Feferi wasn't really prepared to lose. She's a troll, she should have had the upper edge, even without her powers. But she let guard down, and in the end, that was her undoing. It's not the memory of all the pain, the daily paranoia that someone might be lurking around the corner. It's that she knows she can't protect Sollux any more than she already has, and that hurts more than any broken bone ever could. She just wanted one of them to come out on top, to take away some of the worry.

She takes to the common areas of the training center, trying to find some of her fellow tributes who are lurking around, trying to find the ones who look like they're in need of a cheering up, even even some of the ones who aren't. There's no sense in moping. She's still upset, but she knows it will pass soon enough. She reassures her that in time, she'll see her nearly five weeks in the arena as a success. For her first time, she did pretty well-- or so she'll think when the initial bite passes.

Vaguely, she's aware that the power outage in the Capitol wasn't any more pleasant than it was in the arena, but she can't let that stop her. Others might need a cheering up even more in light of all the action. She'll walk up to anyone, flagging down her friends, and introducing herself to strangers with a big smile and a perk of her fins and a friendly-sounding "Hi there!"

Comments

for Eridan

[fintastic]

Feferi's meandering around the training center takes her to all the nooks and crannies that she wasn't able to explore before getting thrust into the arena. It's only natural for her to want to explore her surroundings. She doesn't expect to find a caped bundle in one corner, though, and cautiously she approaches. There's no one else it could be, but... why here? This seems strange, even for Eridan, and that's saying something.

Coming to kneel down next to him, she puts out a hand to his shoulder. "Hey. What are you doing out here?"

Even if it's Eridan, of all trolls, she can't help but be a little bit concerned. It's just so not him.

[unconchonable]

To put it simply, Eridan had one hell of a night during the black out.

Between his own bouts of violence, vandalism, and murdering (sorry Shaggy), it had been eventful, but he also secured himself some wounds for his trouble. Wounds he doesn't want anyone to know about, that's for sure.

Worst yet, when the paralysis wore off from the injection Justine so graciously gave him, he wandered back to his entire floor being set on fire, and nothing but soot and ash really remaining. So here he finds himself, curled up in a corner trying to rest, trying to deal with his aching gills, as well as his collection of bruises and cuts.

The hand on his shoulder draws out a warning growl, though it sounds more tired than threatening, his shoulder hunching upward - though they relax when he hears who it is. Feferi. He doesn't draw his cape down from his face, allowing it to obscure himself as much as possible, maybe even drawing it up more.

"My floor's been burned down. Ain't got no where else to go." He answers plainly, though he sounds a bit wheezy, and a little hoarse.

[fintastic]

Feferi had heard about the fire, but until now, hadn't connected it to Eridan's district. Nor does he sound like he's doing so well. Is he... sick? At least she knows well enough when something is actually wrong, and she figures trying to get to the bottom of it sitting here on the floor isn't going to do anyone any good. Biting her lip, she considers her options. This is Eridan, it's hard to feel a whole lot of compassion for him personally. Everything that happened between them-- he killed her. But he looks so small, smaller than she's ever seen him.

The cuts and bruises she can spy tell her that he's been fighting, and no doubt he picked at least some of those fights on his own. Even so, stupid haughty trolls deserve a proper place to go lick their wounds when they get themselves beat up. She reaches up, trying to pull back some of the cape, giving her best smile.

"Why don't you come back to my room, at least for a little while." She can't imagine Sollux would be thrilled if he found out, but if it's just for a little while... "You don't look so good. Let me wash you up, then we can find you somewhere to stay until they fix your floor up."

[unconchonable]

He really hates how pitiful of a mess he must look, its obvious for anyone who looks at him, and maybe that's why he's trying to shield himself with that cape of his. Now Feferi's found him, and he's not sure how to even feel about that.

Horrible, probably.

When he feels her pull at his cape, it takes him a second of consideration before he lets her draw it down. He's without his glasses, sporting a few bruises on his face from fights past, and there's also cuts around his eyes, where his glasses broke, and the shards sliced him.

"Your--" he looks at her, an expression mixed of disbelief and hopefulness, though more the former than the latter. Sure, they have a truce, but to be invited back there speaks of something he didn't rightly consider Feferi to offer him. Proper shelter and care when he's her goddamn murderer.

He tries to swallow back his skepticism and apprehension.

"Are you sure? I'm fine, really. But if you're real insistent, I guess I can, for your sake." Even in a time like this, a state like this, he's gotta play it tough and cold, because he doesn't feel like there's a single person here he can truly let his guard down with.

Not even his oldest friend.

[fintastic]

"See? There's the grumpy-gills I know." Feferi gives his shoulder a little squeeze in an approximation of affection, before getting back to her feet and holding out a hand for him. "Come on, let's go. It's not far, it's on the first floor."

She does have to admit to herself, it feels a lot better to at least try making amends than holding a grudge. Things between them... they didn't go so well. And she can sit around assigning blame all day and holding a grudge, but the part of her that's hurt at what he did, the part that feels betrayed, is the part that hasn't completely written him off. It would be easier to think nothing of him, to just not care, but she still feels something. His existence still matters, for better or worse, and if she can turn that towards something positive, she'll do it.

There's still part of her that's wary. Emotionally, she's determined not to let him get to her quite as much. She's not going to just jump right back into being moirails with him, but you don't have to be pale for someone to realize they're injured and need help. She can do this and keep her emotional distance. She can cull him without making it person.

And besides all that, even if he doesn't remember it, he apologized to her already, and that means a lot, coming from him of all trolls.

She leads him to District One's floor, and to her room, without saying a whole lot. He doesn't seem to be in the best of moods, even for Eridan, and she can ask him questions once she gets him cleaned up and taken care of. "Here we are! Do you want to wash up, or lay down for a bit?"

hope this is okay?

[biomechatronic]

Dennett was more accustomed to losing than he should probably feel comfortable with. Dying was terrible, but he still couldn't manage to bring himself to kill. He is a doctor. Death is his enemy, not his ally.

But he felt it, this time. He'd lashed out, when he'd been stabbed, and if he'd been more skilled, or more lucid, he might actually have hurt her. It wasn't a good feeling, this idea he might be slipping, that next time, he might kill.

So if she's not moping, that's fine. Dennett's moping enough for the both of them.

He twitches at her greeting, immediately figuring she must have mistaken him for someone else. "I. Uh. I'm sorry?"

of course 38D

[fintastic]

"I said, hi there!" Feferi's fins twitch, but her smile doesn't falter. "I'm Feferi! I wanted to introduce myself to the rest of my fellow Tributes, because I did not get a chance to before the Arena!"

There's a subtle way she smiles a little more when she says words like tributes and arena, easy enough to miss and barely short of a snarl; fleeting, but enough to show off her fangs. Nothing else in her pleasant demeanor shows her deep dissatisfaction with being here.

[biomechatronic]

The fins are a little eye-catching, but she's hardly the first troll he's seen here. Just the first...girl troll. He guesses they had girl trolls too. Why not?

"A-are you sure that's a good idea? I mean...I don't really want to run into the, uh, the people who killed me." The one he'd asked to kill him was an exception, except he would have NO idea how to start that conversation.

[fintastic]

"Why wouldn't it be a good idea? I know I didn't kill you, so I think you are safe!" She's pretty sure she only killed one person, and that was an accident entirely. She has to remember to find that boy, and apologize, though after the number his friend did on her, she is pretty sure they're even. "So, you are...?"

[hanssome]

Unlike most, Hans doesn't particularly look like he needs cheering up. He's always got a friendly air about him, even if he's discreetly a little concerned for Starkiller. With everything that's happened, it's been so much harder to keep track of the new tributes coming and going. He feels a little off his game, so he's always pleased to find a tribute willing to do some of the work for him.

"Hello!" He chirps back, taking in Feferi's appearance with a brief study, as if trying to judge whether they've met and nothing more. He doesn't know much about trolls, but he's sure the ones with fins are important. A name does come to mind and she's pretty hard to mistake, so he'll extend a hand for shaking. "Feferi, is it? Boy, it'll be embarrassing if it isn't-- I've heard so much about you." From TV, at least. He'd seen Starkiller interact with her a few times, he'd certainly seemed fond of her. A mutual friendship would be very beneficial, but his brain digresses. "Oh! I'm Hans, by the way. I'm a mentor for District Five."

[fintastic]

There's a weird hesitation while she figures out why he's thrusting his hand at her, before she takes it in hers with a little laugh.

"That's me! Pretty good for a first timer, huh?" Yes, she's going to pretend she's not a little bit bitter about her early expulsion from the game; maybe she'll be able to convince herself eventually. "It's nice to meet you, Hans. What exactly have you heard...?"

[hanssome]

He makes a note of the fact that she doesn't quite seem aware of what handshakes are, but he'll give her hand a light shake anyway before letting his arm fall back.

"Absolutely! You're very talented- I was actually disappointed to find you weren't in my district." He laughs airily, not reading much into any bitterness on her part before answering the question. "Well, it just so happens that Starkiller is a very good friend of mine. I'd hoped to thank you for treating him so well, I was worried people wouldn't be inclined to." His smile takes a sad turn, but he shrugs it off. "I thought what you did was very sweet."

[fintastic]

"Oh." At certain points, she had been very aware that they were being watched, but for some reason, actually having someone remember it seems to throw her off guard. She didn't really expect anyone to notice or pay enough attention to make any kind of commentary on it later on. "Well... he seems really sweet, when he's not going berserk on an unsuspecting store."

Not that she blames him, but some people might find that behavior a little frightening.

"Does that mean you saw everything?" Her fins pin back a little; she means her death but can't bring herself to say it. She's trying not to think about it, but finds it coming up anyway.

I don't have a good icon for this

[onthelii2p]

It's as soon as Sollux is alive, awake, and back at the Training Center that he goes to seek Feferi out. It can't have been too long when she died so soon before him, and he doesn't yet know if she's seen what happened to him. With the specter of making these games into entertainment, there has to be a way for them to watch, but does that mean she'd want to? Would she feel up to it yet? He doesn't know the full story of her death, but the way she looked, he can't imagine it was good.

(He's going to have to find the man who did it, sooner or later. They didn't speak. It was too quick for it, and it still feels strange to put a hand to his neck and have no bruise, no soreness, no sign whatsoever of the crushing press of the crowbar.)

He goes from top to bottom. He knows her district number, but not if she's on its floor. To the roof he goes first, then on down through the floors. (He learns along the way that district 11 was set on fire. He does not ask questions.) He keeps his eyes open along the way, and for once he's glad trolls are uncommon; she'll stand out more.

It's easy not to worry too much when he doesn't see her for a while. District 1 is near ground floor, and he doesn't know who she knows on the other levels. He doesn't find her there when he reaches it, but there's still more. She might be down on the training floor--or here, as he leaves the elevator, near the restaurant area.

"Feferi!" He calls out immediately and follows up with a wave, before jogging over to where he sees the paired arc of her horns. He doesn't stop when he gets to her, either, but instead pulls her straight into a tight, close embrace. It's hardly been long, not on the scale of things, but she was dead and lying on the ground, battered and bruised, and he still can't get the image out of his head.

[fintastic]

For a moment, Feferi has to wonder if she's hearing things, or if it's another one of those humans clamoring for her attention, and she just wants to hear Sollux's voice. But as soon as she turns, she spots the horns and then the rest of him and she knows it's the real deal. (The fake horns and makeup look ridiculous, and not even vaguely convincing.) She doesn't even stop to think, moving to meet him half-way and throwing her arms around him too. As she presses a kiss into his cheek, a camera goes off, and she's vaguely aware of someone trying to get their attention, but she ignores it.

And then it slams into her like a sack of bricks that if Sollux is here, and not in the arena...

Her breath catches, and she kisses his cheek again. "Come on, let's go somewhere quieter."

Although she's not one to be shy, and under any other circumstances might have played to the attention just for the sake of looking cooperative, there are just some things that these prying humans don't need to be privy to. There are probably a lot of things they have to talk about, and she would rather do it in private. (Or as private as it gets around here.) She hasn't had a chance yet to hear how Sollux died, and she thinks she'd prefer to let him talk about it if he wants to, then go watch it on a screen.

[onthelii2p]

The way Feferi meets him is just what he needs. He holds her up against him, taking in the coolness of her skin, the softness of her hair, and the familiar, clean scent of her. The soft press of her lips to his cheek is a comfort, but in that instant he hears the sound of a camera.

His teeth grit. How dare they? He would be content to stay here and hold her and not even talk for a good long stretch, just glad to have her with him, but the Capitol has to make them into a spectacle. A growl edges into his throat, threatening to roll out before her second kiss catches him.

Somewhere else, she says, and that's perfect. He nods against her and reluctantly pulls away, though not enough that he won't take her hand. "Your block," he whispers as he straightens. "It should be clother."

If it were another time, maybe he could swallow down his irritation to play up the image. If they want to do better next time they're going to have to work for it. But here and now he can't stand it, and it takes quite enough of his willpower just to keep from snapping at milling fans.

[fintastic]

Even Feferi tucks her fins back a little, clearly agitated as well, but still trying to keep a gentle face on for him. She squeezes his hand as subtly as she can and nods. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."

Someday they can make a big show for the cameras, but today is not that day. She's already planning the damage control in her mind, but she can't imagine there will be much. If they're going to play up the two young lovers image, wanting a little privacy after an arena can't be too unfathomable, and might even work to their advantage. Let those intrusive humans imagine whatever they wanted to going on in the District One suite.

She doesn't even bother looking back at them. All her attention is on him as she leads the way to the elevator; at least once they're in there and the doors are closed, there's no one to interrupt them. It's a short ride though, so there's not a lot of time to talk over it, and she just waits until she gets him into her room to say anything.

"I guess we have fans now." She tries to laugh about it, but she's still a bit frustrated over it.

[shenunigans]

It makes Dave a little guilty to avoid watching the games as much as possible. He feels like he should keep an eye on his friends, but it makes him tetchy and uncomfortable. He'd rather be surprised by who comes back and let them tell him what happened, watching it for himself is unpleasant.

As such, he has no idea Feferi is back but can't help being a little happy to see her approach. They hadn't really been able to talk much before he went and died, so he's almost eager in meeting her halfway. Then he stops short and forces himself into a more casual pace. "Hey." He raises a hand lazily in greeting. "Welcome to the loser pit."

[fintastic]

Feferi spots Dave when he's a few feet away, and raises a hand in return. "Hello again."

She remembers the human that came to her and Sollux in the Arena to tell them Dave was dead. She hadn't thought much of it then, hadn't even known whether or not to believe it, but here's her proof. She still can't help wondering if the human with the sword was responsible for it, but she supposes Dave will tell her what happened when he wants to.

"I did pretty good for a first timer, huh? What do you think?"

[shenunigans]

There's a little bit of an awkward pause before he replies, wondering if he's meant to hug her or something comforting like that. The first death is always pretty frustrating, but he's always been bad at initiating stuff like this.

"Well, you did better than me and I've had three chances to get better at this shit." He shrugs heavily, like he isn't pissed about his own death. He has no idea Bro went around telling people and he isn't sure he wants to ask her how she went out, but he won't object to it being brought up. "You wanna grab a drink or something? I'm a thirsty bitch."

[fintastic]

Dave's lucky that his awkwardness just comes off as cute. She's kind of glad he doesn't ask any questions though; she might have brought it up, but she's ready to just put it behind her and not think about it, so the suggestion is welcome and she nods.

"Alright!" As she moves to fall in line with him, something occurs to her. "Oh! Your hand must be all better now, huh?"

Well, at least there's a plus to all of this.

[sithcretapprentice]

It's taken Starkiller a few days to get readjusted to life in the Capitol now that he's no longer an avox. In that time, he's only really approached one person. But now that a little time has passed, he's ready to get out in the world again and stop being so antisocial. In the back of his mind, he's been wondering about the troll he'd ended up killing. She'd been so kind and had helped him calm down during his blow up. It had been truly regrettable that she'd had to die. He idly toys with trying to find her, but he doesn't know where he might find her, and he's certain their paths will cross eventually.

As it happens, the first day he decides to hit the training center- something he's been unable to do for a long time because of his earlier condition, he spots her there. It seems he won't be getting to training for a while, and that's okay. When he sees her, he thinks it's high time the two of them speak, so he's the one who approaches her before she notices that he's there.

He clears his throat. "Hello." His voice is quiet, and it still sounds weird hearing it after all of this time. "It looks like I won't have to write on your hand from now on. That was a clever way of communicating."

[fintastic]

Feferi turns to see a familiar face, and for a second she's relieved to finally see him-- until he speaks. It nets a little surprised yelp out of her, but she smiles anyway.

"You can talk again!" Feferi, on the other hand, is not nearly as quiet or discreet. She still doesn't have any idea, and she's visibly surprised at this turn of events. "That does make things easier, but what happened?"

Maybe he had been sick in there? It wasn't exactly easy to communicate by having him write on her palm, even if it sufficed for short answers, it didn't really facilitate in-depth conversation, and she had never thought to ask why it was.

[sithcretapprentice]

In turn, her yelp surprises him but he tries to ignore it, even if he is a little amused by it. It's certainly the funniest reaction he's gotten so far. As she speaks, he gives a nod- which feels horribly inadequate when he can actually use words again, but she's speaking soon enough that it doesn't matter so much.

When she asks that, he takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. He's not upset, just preparing for a story that's going to bother him a little. A moment later, he'll gesture over to one of the benches for people to rest on in between training sessions. "It isn't exactly a long story, but I'd rather sit anyway." With that, he moves over to it and sits down. "Are you familiar with avoxes?"

[fintastic]

The second he says that, she knows she might actually get that feelings jam she wanted so badly, though she feels bad that they have to have it now. She would much rather have a happy reunion, but if he feels she needs to know, she'll listen. She'll never turn down a chance to be there for someone, especially a friend. There's sincere concern written on her face as she sits next to him, looking up to him intently.

"I don't know what that is, no." She feels like she should, but she didn't have much of a chance to explore before the arena, or learn anything about this place.