blah blah void blah blah spiders blah blah science [open]

[youbarium]

Who| Carlos and anyone
What| Since Carlos's survival hinges on his ability to act like he doesn't care, he's going about his business as usual. Even though he and Cecil had a very short-lived but very public romantic relationship, he's acting like he doesn't care. Come make his life harder. Come ask him how he feels.
Where| The D10 rooms, a coffeeshop, and the Speakeasy
When| After Penny and Cruentus's classy, classy announcement.
Warnings/Notes Possible mention of torture, drinking in the last prompt. Also, the first two prompts will involve Carlos denying any real feelings for Cecil. If you want an honest discussion with him, it'll have to be in the Speakeasy.

PROMPT A: D10 common room

Carlos had known what to expect. Penny had announced that Cecil would be avoxed, after all. He had known this was coming.

That had not made keeping a straight face during the broadcast any easier.

He turned off his communicator and knew that if he was going to make this act convincing, he couldn't hide up in his room all day. Carlos hated this act. It was like he had told one lie in the Arena and hadn't been able to stop lying since. It disgusted him. However, he knew that at this point, he had no choice.

There was no need to fake the irritation on Carlos's face as he walked out into the D10 common area and sat down in one of the chairs. He pulled out a notebook and began to scribble in it. Was he writing or drawing? It would be hard to tell...

PROMPT B: TRIBUTE CENTER COMMONS: GENERIC CAPITOL COFFEESHOP

Here Carlos was, sitting in the very place Dave had brought his last words to Cecil, drinking something too hot for the midsummer weather and talking into his tape recorder. If you get close enough, you might hear snatches of what he was saying:

"--correct about my impending death--"

"--new tactic--"

"--willingly cooperate--"

This part of the Tribute center was open to the public: anyone might pass by and see him.

PROMPT C: THE SPEAKEASY

Carlos wasn't one to drink out of sadness. Not usually. He had been in and out of the Speakeasy these past few weeks, having important discussions about the rebellion.

This time, though, he was after some self-administered emotional numbing.

"I don't even know what's in this," he muttered to himself, staring at the half-empty glass in front of him, which was a mass of swirling colors.

PROMPT D: ELEVATORS

Being two floors from the top meant that Carlos stood a solid chance of sharing an elevator on the way two and from the D10 rooms. He was used to it, and usually, didn't mind it. Today, however, it was all but a guarantee that whoever he ended up in the elevator with would be awkward as hell, and Carlos was really tired of dealing with it. He shifted from foot to foot in his lab coat, trying not to sigh when the elevator stopped and the doors opened.

Comments

[calledmenasir]

Nasir had a curious expression on his face when he looked at Carlos. "Another week to live?" He repeated the words Carlos had spoken once, recorded for posterity and, apparently, for Nasir's ears. "I do not believe next Arena will be so soon."

[youbarium]

"That was an old recording," Carlos explained, still talking quickly, still visibly off-balance. "It's -- it's complicated. It has to do with my home world, and things I've come to learn about it."

Carlos wasn't sure he wanted to talk about this. However, if he was going to convince the Capitol that it really didn't matter to him what happened to Cecil, this conversation could possibly be steered in that direction.

[calledmenasir]

"What have you come to learn that leaves you in such state of unease?" There was a measure of concern in his voice that mingled with the curiosity.

Nasir finally took a seat across from Carlos and set his cup down though his hand remained around it.

[youbarium]

Carlos drew a breath, then let out a long sigh. "The last time I died in the Arena was an anomaly," he began. "Somehow, I returned to the Capitol with more memories of my life in Night Vale than I had had before. And the last thing I remember...is dying," he admitted.

[calledmenasir]

Dying. Nasir was not inclined to believe it.

"You yet breathe," he said simply. "It is another trick of the Capitol's creation."

He took a sip of his drink before it grew cold. He was still not accustomed to the taste and couldn't decide if he found it favorable or not and it only added to his thoughtful expression.

[youbarium]

"That was what I thought at first," argued Carlos, "when they told me that I would die exploring the underground city under the bowling alley. I thought it was just a threat, so I didn't listen. But somehow, between my death in the Arena and my resurrection in the Capitol, I lived another week in Night Vale. And I remember going to the underground city. I remember being attacked. I -- I fell down, and everything went black, and the next thing I knew, I was back here." His tone was puzzled, and worried, but sure of his conclusions. "I can only conclude that if I had remained in Night Vale, I would be dead."

[calledmenasir]

Nasir gave a slight shake of his head. "I do not believe such a thing possible." Though there was much here that fell into that category for Nasir, at least until he'd seen it. But this held another explanation.

"I have been told the Capitol has power enough to strip memories from mind. Perhaps they hold such to plant the seeds of them inside so they may grow into vines and ensare you. Do not let them."

[youbarium]

Carlos recognized what Nasir was saying.

"I thought about that," he said. "But since there's no one here from my world who was present at the event to confirm or deny it...I can't know for sure. If it is true, it means I can never go back. Whether I like it or not, my only possible future might be in Panem."

Whether it's a Capitol trick or not, Carlos needed to act like he believed it. It lent credence to his pro-Capitol performance.

[calledmenasir]

"A future of piss and shit," Nasir muttered darkly. Then, louder. "Is this truly the future you desire?"

Nasir knew what choice he would make if given opportunity to return, death or not. It was a choice he'd made before.

"You would embrace those who would make you kneel, only to live in servitude?" There was an edge to his voice, growing hostility but nothing outright harsh. Yet.

[youbarium]

Wasn't that a bit extreme? Carlos thought. He recognized the anger Nasir was feeling, and winced -- this kind of talk was dangerous for Nasir, and nothing Carlos said would make Nasir any happier.

But he went on.

"If you keep talking like that," he warned, "you might have no future at all. The Capitol is watching us -- all the time. We have to be careful what we say, or else we might find ourselves unable to speak at all."

[calledmenasir]

Nasir kept forgetting himself. He knew that Carlos was right and it wouldn't have bothered him if it was only his own life but...

He shifted, eyes no longer holding as much venom.

"My tongue is no longer my own." His eyes drifted to the side then back to Carlos. "Yet you navigate treacherous waters well." If rumor was true...

[youbarium]

That stung.

There were two things about being a scientist that Carlos took very seriously. (Actually, he took everything about being a scientist very seriously; it's just that these two things were particularly relevant to the situation.) One, a scientist's reputation was very important. Two, a scientist should never lie.

Carlos now had a reputation as a liar.

He hated what the Capitol was turning him into.

"I'm used to living in places like this," was his reply, after a moment's thought. "The place they took me from -- Night Vale -- it was a lot like the Capitol, only worse."

[calledmenasir]

Nasir misunderstood Carlos's statement.

"You are not alone in having history of enslavement. I was once as you." The words held no emotion to them. "I do not wish to become that again."

Bowing and scraping, serving his dominus's every wish for the slightest show of favor. He was a fool to think such a life held meaning. And yet he might have no choice but to return to that life.

[youbarium]

Oh, god. He couldn't let Nasir continue with that misconception, oh no.

"No, no, it wasn't slavery," Carlos explained, with a note of mild distress in his voice. "Just a controlling and morally questionable government. Where I came from, we were watched all the time, too, and could be arrested at any time for anything. The laws made no sense, the punishments were harsh, and when citizens were fed to the petting-zoo wolves, they didn't come back. So really," finished Carlos, "to me, the Capitol isn't so bad."

[calledmenasir]

Nasir brow quirked in confusion and distaste for Carlos's, in his mind, false comparison to Panem. "And yet you had choice? If you were not slave, then why stay in such a place?"

Terrible though Carlos made it sound, at least he had the freedom to do as he desired. Nasir did not see how that was worse than what they had now.

[youbarium]

"Because it was the most scientifically interesting place I had ever seen," answered Carlos honestly. "Weird things happened there, things I can only begin to describe. There were pyramids that broadcast telepathic messages, glowing clouds that dropped dead animals onto streets and buildings -- one week, all the wheat and wheat by-products in the entire town turned into three-foot-long venomous snakes. It was all so interesting! But it was also very dangerous," he added, a little more soberly. "Conceivably anything could kill you in Night Vale. I was only there for a year, but I couldn't even begin to count how many people died during that period." A little quieter: "I guess I'm one of them now."

[calledmenasir]

Nasir didn't understand some of those words, the concepts not invented when he was from, and the rest seemed too bizarre to believe had he not seen monsters here, people who appeared to be cursed by the gods.

He could tell that Carlos was excited by the strangeness of it though, for reasons Nasir couldn't understand. And so he looked at him curiously but still with a hard expression.

"Yet choice was yours to remain and risk life yet now, when you learn of chance it was taken, grieve." He recalled Spartacus's last words and his own voice quietened a fraction. "Better to fall from this world a free man than to die here."

Nasir would be of more comfort were he not so insulted by Carlos's comparison.

[youbarium]

Carlos knew perfectly well that there were several important differences between the Capitol and Night Vale. However, he also recognized that Nasir would read to the Peacekeepers as rebellious, and making an enemy of Nasir would help Carlos's cover.

Uuuugh. He really hated making Nasir this uncomfortable, but Carlos had to press on.

"I think our disagreement," said Carlos, looking at Nasir very seriously, "comes from the fact that you consider yourself a slave here and I don't. I'm not saying you're wrong. What I'm saying is that the way we define slavery is different. Our experiences -- that is, the collection of memories that we trust to be an accurate representation of the past -- are the lens through which we view our present, and my experiences in Night Vale have made living in Panem much easier for me than it originally would have been. I assume your experiences have had the opposite effect."

[calledmenasir]

Nasir shook his head in disbelief and disgust. "Then you are a fooled mired in piss and shit, believing smell to be of fairest perfume." Or Carlos simply catered to what his sponsors desired, whatever it was, a fact Nasir could equally believe.

"I do not care what your experiences are. Knowledge is mine what it means to be removed from choice. If you believe this to be the better than your home then you are a coward."

And if he did not react by attempting to punch Nasir in the face for that remark, Nasir would know it was the truth.

[youbarium]

Sorry, Nasir. Pacifism is part of being a scientist, so even if Carlos were truly mad, he would not punch you.

Instead, Carlos's mouth pulled into a grimace. "I'm not a coward," he said. "I'm a scientist." As though that settled it. As though that made it obvious that Carlos was acting out of pragmatism rather than fear. Of course a scientist would be logical. Of course a scientist would base his decision on facts. Of course Carlos has thought this through.

[calledmenasir]

Nasir had braced himself for retaliation. When it did not come, his opinion of the man seated across from him was settled.

"Scientist," Nasir repeated the word with far more distaste than Carlos had. The look on his face showed nothing but contempt as he continued. "It is unfamiliar to me. I take it that it is but only another word for coward."

[youbarium]

For the first time, real anger flashed in Carlos's eyes. His hand clenched into a fist -- though he had no intention of using it, it was mere reflex.

Carlos reminded himself that this man didn't know what he was saying. He also reminded himself that he had been a jerk first, and this man was only responding to what Carlos had said. It calmed him a little, but still, it was with a tight voice that Carlos said, "This conversation isn't productive anymore. I think you should go."

[calledmenasir]

Nasir recognized the spark in Carlos's eyes but the flames soon turned to embers.

"We are in agreement on this. I shall search for favorable company." Nasir took his cup of coffee in his hand and finished drinking it first. "Perhaps you will find your own and someone new you can feign affection for." He did not know if that rumor was true but after this conversation, he could more readily believe it.

He stood so he could leave.

[youbarium]

The mention of Cecil stung as well: Carlos was entirely aware that what Cecil had done was one of the bravest things Carlos had ever seen, and that he was repaying Cecil's sacrifice with denial and lies. It was a very sore spot, if the dark look Carlos cast at Nasir was anything to go by.

All the replies Carlos had, all the rehearsed lines, all the explanations and cold denial, all of it dried up in his throat. Carlos was just left to watch Nasir go, unable to summon up any kind of meaningful retort. The argument was over.