Little girl, little girl [open]

[smarterthanthem]

Who| Clementine and OTA
What| Clem wakes up from her first ever death in the arena, then goes up to the roof with her thoughts
Where| District 6, then the roof
When| End of week 5 of the arena
Warnings/Notes| Inevitable angst

Prompt A: District 6 Suite

Clementine wakes up, that's the nightmare. Not the six weeks proceeding it.

She never thought she'd be so unhappy to discover herself alive. It's not just the shock of it or the horrible memory of dying, it's the fear of what she did in the space between dying and waking up. Clementine remembers a girl who tried to save her and then she remembers trying to warn her but she's can't recall clearly if she actually got the words out before she died.

The fear of it overtakes her as she sits up on the bed, pulling up her knees to bury her face in them, arms wrapped tight around her legs to muffle the sound of the first sob. She should be stronger than this, better than this. Instead she'd been stupid and possibly gotten other people killed. Nevermind what the Capitol did to the food, she's still going to blame herself now for her actions.

Prompt B: The rooftop garden

Hours after waking up Clementine has calmed down but in desperate need of fresh air, a space to clear her head away from the view of any screens. She's started to get a picture of what's happened since she died; what happened after, who else she knows who's died and who is still left alive in the arena.

Joel, Sabriel... they took care of what she'd become. She'll have to thank and apologise to them when they come out but all of that seems very far away as she looks out at the gleaming city from the balcony, her chin pillowed on folded arms over the railing.

It's so wrong, those people out there enjoying the spectacle of the games, not understanding the real horror of what the tributes go through. Clementine doesn't understand how they can be so removed from the suffering happening under their very noses.

[[ooc: Prompts are in prose but reply in any format you wish!]

Comments

[hit_girl_mindy]

She'll admit it: she was invested in Clementine. She had no reason other than age to be, really, but she' liked the girl and wanted her to do well. So the stunt the Capitol had pulled, making her a zombie an having her essentially kill Sandy, had good and pissed Mindy off most of the week. Se'd checked the games to see how shit turned out and, sure enough, Joel and the new girl took her out, as needed. It sucked, but she doubted Clem would hold a grudge.

Mindy had been asked to be informed once she was brought back, and when that happened, she took a walk over to District 6's suite, noting the difference between her own and this one, before knocking lightly on her door.

"Clem? It's Mindy. Can I come in?"

[smarterthanthem]

The knock startles the occupant. Clementine's realises after a moment there's probably a normal time limit to how long it takes someone to come back to the Capitol and a veteran like Mindy is probably familiar with that.

She rubs her eyes hard, not wanting to be caught crying and swings her feet off the edge of the bed, ready to get up and go answer. Then she pauses, see's her hat on the bedside table and picks it up, fingers rubbing over worn and familiar fabric.

Putting it on first makes her feel better. Clementine crosses to the door, taking a deep breath before slowly opening it. "Hi." and winces at how quiet her voice is.

[hit_girl_mindy]

This was true, but of course it helped to keep tabs on everyone too, and Clementine was someone she'd definitely been watching for.

When she sees the girl, she makes n apology. "Your eyes are red," she said, making sure that the girl understood what she'd been doing. "Don't be ashamed. That was fucked up, having that happen to you. No one would survive out of that ok."

And, in a move sure to stun even her own dad, Mindy reached over and gave the girl a hug. Hell. She needed it. She new even SHE would have.

[smarterthanthem]

"I--" Clementine sighs and gives up before she even starts, she hasn't looked in a mirror since she woke up but she can imagine she probably looks a sight. Mindy's right and she knew on the opposite side of this she'd likely tell someone the same thing but herself, well, it's always harder to acknowledge that she's as human as everyone else. "Mindy..."

Her voices cracks at the hug and despite herself she just gives in, pride be damned. Mindy's a friend and Clem really does need this because as many people as she's lost and seen die nothing prepared her for what just happened to her. Her face buries in the older girls shoulder, arms wrapped tight around her back.

[hit_girl_mindy]

Mindy was notorious for being a hard ass. Hell, if anyone had ever told her she'd be hugging someone because they lost, she'd have laughed in their faces. But Mindy saw nothing short of terror for what happened in there. Clementine had died in agony, and then turned into a zombie and killed a friend before getting killed herself. All she could hope for was that the Capitol didn't make her remember what happened after her death.

Not that she could stop them from broadcasting it. Fuckers.

The hug lasted awhile. This was a time where words couldn't do a hell of a lot. Sometimes actions needed to get the job done.

[smarterthanthem]

If there's more tears that slip free and soak into Mindy's shirt it's done in silence and eventually it's Clem who acknowledges that she's okay to pull back. She'll be forever grateful to Mindy for her patience with that, she didn't seem like the type to hand out hugs very often.

"I'm okay now." and there's a thank you in those words. They probably both know she's not even remotely okay still but the hug has put a temporary bandage on a raw wound.

It's not over though, Clementine looks up at Mindy. She doesn't want to know but she has to know. "Mindy, when I died did I... did I come back there?"

[hit_girl_mindy]

Oh, she was probably still shit, but that was OK. It was a lot healthier than HER, because Mindy knew she would have just shouldered it and been annoyed with anyone trying to perk her up about it later.

"Well," Mindy said, sighing. "Yeah. Someone's gonna tell you. You tried to warn Sandy and she didn't get it in time, so...you were a zombie. You kinda took her out, and then got killed again later. Sandy tried to cut off the arm, but it wasn't enough to stop the death. Believe me, it was no fun fucking watching it."

prompt B

[ka_sera_sera]

Roland comes up to the roof sometimes. He doesn't like it, he's grieved out here and associates this place with grief, but he doesn't have to like a thing to know it's necessary, sometimes. And this place is beautiful, in a cultivated sort of way. It's the closest he's going to come to the forests he's used to. His step slows, though, when he sees Clementine there. It's not surprise, at least not mostly. He's been trying to keep up with the events of the arena - badly, slowly, knows his knowledge is patchy but thinks he's been able to get a few important things.

So it's no surprise that Clementine is here in the building. What is a surprise is seeing her so near, realizing he probably should have gone to her earlier. Should he have? Nevermind. She's here now. He approaches slowly, making sure his steps make plenty of noise, and studies her posture before almost-mimicking it. Stops an arm's length away and leans forward, folding his arms over the railing and looking out. He stays that way, studying her only out of the corner of his eye, and decides not to speak. Quite honestly, he's not sure what he'd say if he did.

[smarterthanthem]

Clementine turns her head enough to see him when she hears the footsteps. Her heart catches in her throat when she realises its Roland, it seems so very long ago since they killed the spider together and she asked him not to do anything that make him need saving... then he died. Fast forward a few weeks and here she was too.

She doesn't know how it was for Roland, doesn't think she could ask him to be honest, it would feel too much like prying. Nobody wants to recount such a thing, definitely not her.

For a few minutes they stand quietly together, the cool breeze washing over their faces and then Clementine slides a step closer, just barely leaning into Roland. "Hi."

[ka_sera_sera]

Roland looks over at her, his mind for a moment layering another voice over hers. A hungry, wordless moan. For a moment he just watches her, helpless to stop himself trying to imagine what it must have looked like. He's heard it but hasn't seen it, and that is probably not as much of a blessing as someone might think.

That passes, and he makes sure it does so quickly. Because right now, what she is is a child. One who trusts him. He puts a hand lightly on Clementine's back and continues to look down at her, studying her expression. "Hi," he echoes, simply.

[smarterthanthem]

It's taken as permission to lean in a little closer, Clementine relaxing a little with the comforting weight of his hand on her back. That she trusts Roland goes without saying, that she's glad to see him again even more so.

Not about to let the most obvious subject become the elephant in the room she sums up her feelings bluntly, "So, dying sucks."

[ka_sera_sera]

The corners of his lips twitch up and he gives a slow nod, appreciating the bluntness. "So it does."

[smarterthanthem]

"We should try really hard not to do it again." Clementine bites her lip a little, changing course and looking up at Roland now. Her eyes are a little red from her fit of tears earlier. "Are you okay?"

The roof.

[justoutrunyou]

Sandy has found the roof is becoming a much more popular hangout, probably due to the fresh air and the fear of getting sick under quarantine.

Plus duck seems to like it up here. So as a young waterfowl waddles through the flowers occasionally biting at one, Sandy watches.

Glancing up from her feathered ward she spots Clem and waves to her. "Hey! There you are." She calls offering a weak, tired smile. "Welcome back?"

[smarterthanthem]

She starts, that voice...

Clementine turned and her eyes widened to see Sandy. "You're--" she swallows, not knowing how to feel or act. How do you respond to someone whose death you caused? "Um, yeah, thanks."

Then she realises, "You were looking for me?"

[justoutrunyou]

"Well...yeah." Her cheeks went a little pink and she busied herself with the duck in the flowers.

"I mean, I wanted to make sure you made it back OK. Sometimes they don't bring people back if they didn't like them or something." Sandy explained.

"And there's only a few of us kids around here. We gotta stick together."

[smarterthanthem]

"I didn't think after what happened you'd..." she trails off, where she was going with that is probably clear though. She didn't think the other girl would want to be near her. "I'm sorry... I couldn't warn you."

Then Clementine notices the duck and focuses on it, mouth slightly open from her surprise.

[justoutrunyou]

There was a sheepish laugh and Sandy unconsciously rubbed her arm where it had been bitten, "It's not like you wanted to do that." And she'd died enough times that it was starting to be more a relief when she saw it coming.

The Duck noticed he was being watched and turned his head, twisting it to look up at Clementine. After a long moment it quacked.

[smarterthanthem]

Clementine winces to see that little motion. "No but -- well I'm still sorry. I should have made sure people knew about me." She'd only told a few and just her luck none of them had been around when she died.

"Is that your pet?"

B

[69problems]

By now the Signless always expects there to be other tributes on the roof when he comes up here. It's the hangout for people who want at least some semblance of freedom provided by open air and visible sky but don't want to go down into the Capitol proper and have to deal with the fans.

"It certainly is a view, isn't it," he says, leaning on the railing next to her.

[smarterthanthem]

"I guess." she looks at him and then looks at him. Clementine doesn't mean to stare and quickly averts from doing so but not before making it clear his appearance is startling for her. "... it's cleaner than a city should be though."

[69problems]

At this point he's used to humans (especially humans he hasn't met before) finding his appearance strange or unsettling. He doesn't mind.

"Is it? I'd never really been to a city before coming here. I assumed this was how they all were."

[smarterthanthem]

"Um, yeah. Well, all the cities where I come from are all dirty. There's always trash and dirt -- this place is shiny, like a picture."

[69problems]

That sounds more like what he's familiar with: lowblood villages and camps filled with people more concerned with staying alive than with looking good, dirt roads and bare feet and many-colored bloodstains on walls. Cities were for highbloods, and highbloods didn't deign to walk on dirt unless it was to punish those below them. Capitolites are definitely human highbloods.

"I think that says quite a lot about the people who live here," he says, because that's just netural enough to not be taken badly if they're being listened to. "It's a lot less picturesque in the districts."

Which is far from a bad thing. He felt much more at home in Twelve than he does in the gleaming Capitol.

[smarterthanthem]

"I've not seen the districts. Are we allowed to go see them?" She didn't think they were allowed anywhere out of the city and she'd always felt like the districts must be far away from the descriptions. "These people only like to see dirt on tv."