Woman, You've Got Too Many Brambles [Closed]

[celebrityskinned]

WHO| Venus, Wyatt and Maximus
WHAT| Awkward relationship talk.
WHEN| A few days before the Arena.
WHERE| Training Center
WARNINGS| Discussion of relationships, virginity, sex and social mores surrounding women. Basically, I am hella pretentious.

Fear isn't a totally foreign feeling to Venus, but it's one she came to piece with a long time ago. Generally it's managed by the knowledge that she doesn't have much to lose, that pain and humiliation are both temporary states of being that one passes through rather than becomes.

The fear she feels now is different. It isn't the passing assessment of a threat so much as a nagging sensation that some part of her is damaged, broken in some way beneath the skin that she can't see. It wraps itself around her bones and follows her throughout her day, sipping coffee with her, putting on her clothes with her, showering with her, especially when she showers. It's worst when she's nude.

It's with her when she's beating the hell out of a tackling dummy, and that's where Wyatt and Maximus find her one morning. She wipes sweat from her brow and straightens up to see them and Ferox. The fear, the sadness, clings to her like a dress that even they should be able to see despite the cocky smile.

Comments

[gluteus]

Ferox was always a good companion to the training center. Maximus noticed the way the other tributes always sweat a little more, always trained a little harder, at the subtle reminder of what could wait for them in the arena. The tiger itself was always well behaved - only wrestled with Maximus and always playfully - but that didn't mean the beast wasn't intimidating. So he'd come down with Wyatt and with his Beast and had intended on letting off some steam the good old fashioned way.

He hadn't expected to run into Venus - at least not so obviously distressed as she was. Frowning, he glanced at Wyatt before stepping over to her.

"Venus. How are you faring?"

[the_marshal]

Wyatt met the familiar gaze, questioning, and hung back, a hand coming out to rest of the wide head of the great cat.

He liked to think Venus a friend, but he didn't deny that she and Max had known each other longer, were closer.

If she needed a few moments, he would give it.

[celebrityskinned]

"I don't know, I got a TV special devoted to me being an evil witch, another TV special where I saw my boyfriend get himself shot by a firing squad before finding out he's going back into the deathmatches, and I'm relying on Azula to keep me on the straight and narrow this next Arena. I'd say given the circumstances, faring at all is a success."

She's actually surprised by how bitter than all sounds. It seems to come from a place in her she usually strangles with her friendliness and pep.

She brushes sweat from her brow. She's overdressed for the gym, with barely any skin showing, a strange departure from her usual reliance on sports bras and bike shorts. She crouches down in front of Ferox and pats his head.

"You murdered Maximus' teddy bear, didn't you, you big tabby?"

[gluteus]

"He has torn half the room to shreds at one time or another," Maximus replied, though his brows were furrowed lowly. He had never liked the concept of guns - hated them, in fact - but he had been strangely disconnected watching Enjolras' expose. Just a story, of a foreign place far away, about people he didn't really know.

The Capitol, twisting their histories once more.

He hadn't even thought about how it would affect venus, and he felt guilty for it.

"If there is any help I can offer--" he started, somewhat awkwardly.

[celebrityskinned]

She rests her forehead against Ferox's, completely apathetic to the threat of those jaws, of the gilded teeth sloping down from his mouth. It's not that the danger doesn't register, but that she sees herself fit to meet a tiger face to face.

"It's fine. I'm fine." She sighs. "I'm just..."

She closes her eyes, letting Ferox's snuffling push air over her neck.

"Mind if I ask you some awkward questions, you two?"

[gluteus]

Maximus looked over at Wyatt, before silently nodding. He didn't mind. He wasn't sure whether or not Wyatt would...

[the_marshal]

Taking that as a sign that she was alright with him being included, Wyatt took a step closer, bringing the conversation closer between the three of them.

"Ain't sure what's so bad ya gotta ask before ya ask," he joked gently, "but ya know we'll help where we can."

[celebrityskinned]

"You've both...you've both been with women before, haven't you?"

It eases the words out of her to keep her face to Ferox's, letting only the beast hear her heartbeat and see it seeming to pound away under her collarbone. She wonders if Ferox can smell the blood spreading up her neck in a flush.

[the_marshal]

Now he understood.

It took Wyatt a moment, overcoming old an propriety, but then he nodded. Clearing his throat as his head tipped a fraction.

"A time er two."

[gluteus]

Ferox tilted his head, a low rumbling purr vibrating through his great haunches as he pressed his face to hers.

Maximus, on the other hand, nearly smiled, but kept it down when he heard the tone of her voice.

"Yes," He replied easily enough. He had no qualms detailing his past to Wyatt, and wasn't embarrassed to speak of it. "Many times. Is something wrong?"

[celebrityskinned]

"Do you have, ah..."

The embarrassment on her face is deeper than mortification; it's tinged with an absolute sense of uselessness, a shakenness as if she's an apple that's been cored out.

All her adult life, she's been told this is what she's good at. Good for. The only thing she's good for. Combat was important, but the money (and thus people's interest) lied in the beauty campaigns, the pinups, the swimsuit edition photoshoots. That her combat training should be as aware of her waistline as her ability to survive a blow.

("It doesn't matter if the team has such a high mortality rate, does it. If you hit twenty-six your life's basically over anyway. That's how it is for girls like you," her agent had said.)

She gets up, patting Ferox's ears. She seems very near tears.

"Do you have advice on things that- that worked?"

[the_marshal]

"Worked..." Wyatt echoed.

He paused again - this time out of confusion. He glanced sidelong at Max, then back at her.

"As in... which bit?"

He could hazard a guess, but these were different times. Maybe she did want advice on how to they'd gotten those long lost women there.

[gluteus]

He was trying to take the conversation seriously, he really was. So the smile that smile rose to his lips was honestly kind, rather than mocking.

"I haven't had any complaints, if that is what you mean," He said, a slight lilt to his voice. He glanced at Wyatt. "But as far as I've realised, it tends to differ based on the participants. And it's ah - slightly easier, I think, generally, for men. Less pain typically involved."

... Most of the time.

[celebrityskinned]

Venus' skin tone makes it difficult to see her blush most of the time, but it's evident here, and it spreads up her face and down her neck. If she could see herself now, she'd likely be reminded of the dollop of blood that had followed losing her virginity, the punctuation mark on a sentence that felt incomplete.

"The pain wasn't really a problem." Well, a little bit, but mostly just because it had been a foreign feeling and not one she had anticipated. She wraps her palms over her elbows. "I just...I don't know what I did wrong."

And they've hardly touched each other since.

[the_marshal]

The way helpfully cleared by Max, Wyatt shifted on his heels, thumbs hooking into his belt as he tipped his head at Venus.

"What makes ya think ya did somethin' wrong?" he asked.

He knew well enough that that boy of hers had a mouth on him, but he had a hard time believing any man could be that stupid.

(Cruel, yes, but Enjolras hadn't struck him as mean.)

[gluteus]

The smile disappeared into a frown.

"It is not your responsibility, Venus. If a man has taken you to his bed, it is his job to ensure that you are pleasured."

[celebrityskinned]

"A lot of reasons. Awkward silence. The fact he's got no interest in trying it again. Fact that I got no interest in trying it again either."

It's not as if that's something Venus has never heard, but it runs counter to everything she's surrounded herself with (and been surrounded by) since she hit puberty. You don't square "woman comes first" with "give them what they want, sugartits".

"You're just saying that because you like me more than you like him." If 'like' is even the word that could describe their patience for her boyfriend.

[the_marshal]

The little vee between Wyatt's forehead deepened. Watching Venus as much as he listened.

"Max doesn't say anythin' he doesn't mean," he murmured, "He's also right. At least as somethin' a man's worth bein' measured by."

Wyatt had never understood the other mindset himself. Personally, he'd always been of the belief he was privileged to find himself where he was - welcomed inspite of himself - and as such wanted to show his appreciation.

And it always made him feel good too. Knowing he'd brought his lover pleasure was always a big part of his own.

"Did he try?" he asked. "'Er was there no interest from the get go?"

[gluteus]

"I say it because it's the truth," Maximus echoed Wyatt, his voice firm. "And it only gives me cause to dislike him more."

He let Wyatt's question speak for them both.

[celebrityskinned]

"I don't think he's capable of half-assing things. You know, that's just his personality." Enjolras is mediocre at many things - social skills included - but at the very least he's always intensely whatever he is.

She stares at the wall, wrapping her arms around herself, fingers folded over her shoulders. "And I was trying- I was trying and I just-"

How many times has she been told this is all she's good for? Sex and violence, baby.

[the_marshal]

"...Venus..." Wyatt began gently, fighting with himself as to how deeply into his friend's private affairs he wanted to dig.

He much he wanted to know about a woman he considered something almost akin to family.

"Had either'a you ever done this before?"

[celebrityskinned]

She shakes her head, avoiding eye contact still. After a moment, she adds "contrary to my reputation."

[gluteus]

He had no idea what she meant by that comment - considering that his own reputation, here, made him out to be some greek Roman Sex God. He'd learned to ignore it.

"It's a skill, like any other." He said bluntly. "An initial courtship is never perfect, especially not between virgins. It was his duty to smooth the way as much as possible, regardless of his experience. Stumbles are meant to be healed with laughter, not this. That he could allow you to feel like this is his failing, not yours."

He paused, frowning, and carefully not looking at Wyatt while he continued.

"The first night with my wife was hard for her. She was scared, and though I did my best to be gentle, she still felt pain. But I did everything in my power to ensure that every other night I took her to my bed she felt only joy, and I believed I succeeded. It was no fault of hers, and nor is it yours."

[the_marshal]

Torn between understanding, gentle amusement, and the awkwardness of hearing his lover go into the details of his encounters with not just any previous partner but the partner, Wyatt shifted uncertainly.

"...Don't nobody do it justice their first times," he said finally, clearing his throat around the words. "Whatever they say. Like anythin' it takes practice."

[celebrityskinned]

"Oh, come on. It's not like he kicked me out and threw spare change at me. It's just been awkward since. He loves me enough not to lie about it." It sounds desperate, coming from her, the defensiveness she has over the idea that she is the one at fault here.

But this should have been painfully obvious to her. She should have realized her expectations needed to be ratcheted down, not up; should have vomited up the diet of myths about lifechanging defilements that her culture had gorged her on. And she hadn't.

She still hasn't.

"I just- I thought it would change everything and glue us together and it's just made me miserable."

[gluteus]

Maximus frown only deepened at the 'loves me enough not to lie about it'. That was precisely what he should have done. Maximus was, at large, an extremely honest man. He did not lie when he could help it, but he also grew up in Rome. Knew lies were often necessary, even if he was shit at delivering them.

And white lies to comfort your lover? Those ranked far beyond 'honesty' in this particular case. But he kept his mouth shut on that point. She was already defensive, and he had no wish to make her more so.

"It is not a magic balm that instantly heals everything," He murmured lowly. "It is an action, like any other. A conversation. Sometimes conversations go poorly, but that does not mean we wish to be mute."

[the_marshal]

Wyatt was of the belief that if he'd really loved her enough, he'd have kept her close and they'd have tried again. And even if it weren't earth-shattering, she'd have still had fun, and she would still know she was loved.

And practice would make perfect.

But he held his tongue.

"If ya don't want it to stand this way, there's only one thing ya can do. Ya need to see him, an' if he ain't willin' to give it another go, then ya know where yer problem lies."

[celebrityskinned]

Venus gets the unshakeable feeling that one or both of them is going to start investing in shotguns, and she isn't sure how she feels about that. Father figures have been few and far between in her life, and until now she's considered them all on the same plane socially - family, but brethren.

She nods, rubbing her palm over her elbow as her other hand falls to her side.

"You won't tell him we had this conversation, right? I'm pretty sure the idea of you guys weighing in is a mood killer."

[gluteus]

"It is not my business, Venus, beyond you directly asking me for advice. I would not take it to him unless you asked me to."

Shotguns would be a good idea, if he thought of it. As it was, he was only thinking blades.

He wouldn't sit by if Enjolras hurt her purposely. For now, it was only his stupidity doing so. If that ever crossed to deliberate intention...

[the_marshal]

As if reading Max's mind, Wyatt took a step closer, arm brushing the other man's purposefully.

Awkwardness happened, so long as the boy took steps to fix it, there was no sense in sticking him yet.

"What you've told us, will stay with us until you deem otherwise." He smiled gently at her. "Ya need some help though, you don't be afraid to ask, huh?"

[celebrityskinned]

"Well, since I've already made this incredibly awkward-" Really, there's no going back now, and that blush has gone all the way to her ears. "Do you have advice for what I could do?"

The alternative is reading Cosmo, and that suggested spritzing his nipples with ice water. She's pretty sure that's not the way to go.

[gluteus]

"Slit his throat," Maximus said, completely straight-faced, in the way he would say so to one of his soldiers, flatly and completely.

After a moment he offered her a warm smile. "Don't let it define you," he murmured, lowly. "Do not take it to heart. It is not who you are."

[the_marshal]

Wyatt slanted Max a bemused smile, snorting gently before turning back to Venus.

"Jus' remember that nobody runs before they walk, an' if he can't swallow that, he ain't worth yer time."

[celebrityskinned]

Venus pauses for a moment, looking stunned, only to break into laughter as soon as Max laughs. She shrugs and shakes her head. "I'll figure out who I am someday. Promise."

She still feels, especially by Wyatt's comment, that she hasn't made herself totally clear, but there's nothing she can do about that.