thecapitol | this place is a narrative mess

Who| Closed to Guy and his close CR
What| Guy is brought back to the Tribute Center
Where| District 6 and Guy's room
When| The night of the expose when he's returned and the next morning after.
Warnings/Notes| CW: Possible mention of bidding, mental trauma/dissociation, the usual for someone's that dealt with Penny

When the Peacekeepers brought him back, Guy was silent, floating along like a ghost next to them. His face was still blotchy from the crying and his eyes were red-rimmed but there was no emotion on his face. He'd shut down. Sometimes it was okay to take time to be sad and sometimes you got so sad you had to not think but it had never been like this.

He had always been someone that dealt with his feelings as they came and only shoved them aside for later if he was facing something life or death. Then when it was over, he dealt with them, felt them, and moved on.

This had finally pushed him beyond that. He'd felt so much - so much fear and despair and misery - that something had collapsed in itself and now there was just a dull buzzing behind his ears.

The world no longer made sense and the worst part of it was that the things that did make sense, like his story, like the life he'd shaped for himself, had been taken away from him. His story had been twisted into something else and now it didn't belong to him anymore.

Now it would be what they wanted it to be and he would be the thing they wanted him to be and there was nothing he could do about it, except hope that he got boring enough they cut the thread that tied him to this new life and let him drift away. Now his life would be just like the emptiness inside a shell instead of the patterns on the outside or the sounds it could make.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Then only be a kid as much as you've needed to be a kid so far. I just need it to not be about everything that's to come. And part of who I am is making things brighter for other people wherever I can. So just know that - I'm there whenever or however you need me. I just don't want you to feel like it'll mean I can't look out for you if you need to be the one that's scared or sad. Okay?"

She didn't have to be vulnerable or let herself be a kid if she didn't want to. But him dealing with hardship and pain and sometimes needing people who cared about him - he didn't want that to make her hesitate if she was the one who needed someone. He didn't want her to hesitate if it was a time she needed to reach out.

He wanted to still be himself that way.

And she deserved to have someone there if she needed it, regardless of what was going to happen to him.

Damn it. Damn him. He was, above all, someone who knew best how to draw the line in the sand without making things some dumb fucking trope or a overused speech. Because she could look in his eyes and tell the truth from the bullshit, and he simply would never do it to her. He was true. That, more than anything, fostered her hatred foe Penny.

She lowered her eyes. "Dad was here. But you know, that's impossible. Insane. Dad died in my world. I was there. I saw it. I tried to stop it but it was no used. He burned. They brought him back, and it was just like old times. I didn't care what anyone thought of me, we could do anything. And then they took him away."

Mindy put a hand to his shoulder. "And the more things change, I start to realize my feelings are shock value."

He nodded at her.

"Yeah. Yeah, that's what they want for all of this. The shock. The - the pain of what they inflict and what they take away."

He pulled her into a hug.

"But they can - they can poke and prod and twist as much pain and sadness out of us that they want and the things that matter. The real things, they stay the same. They stay the same."

He could cut through to the truth, to the simple things that they tried to make him feel stupid for seeing, when they over-complicated evertything to hide their cruelty and self-delude.. He could try to do it always.

"What stays the same is your dad loved you and you still love him. That stays the same. Just like - just like me saying these things and caring about you. That can stay the same, too. And that's how we can keep them from breaking us."

"I'm not broken," Mindy mumbled, hugging back, hard. "He was around enough that I felt happy, you know? I was glad to have him around. But that's just it. He was from a time where I needed him, and we were still working toward this one goal. That time is over now. This, right here? This is the new goal."

Depressing and long termed, exactly as she expected it and had no control over. What else could you do? If anything, it was important that Guy get his groove back: they had marked him, and were trying to work him down. So long as Mindy was around, that would never happen.

"Glad you're back." It was brief, but there was a lot unsaid there too. How she' been worried, how she had sought every short, vaguely destructive thing she could to distract herself.

"Me too."

He was still alive, still here. He could still good, even as he went through things that were horrible.

He didn't know if he'd make it, if he'd be able to survive all this, or survive it intact, but at least he could try. Even if he couldn't, even if he fell apart, maybe he could help his friends survive it all, at least.

Maybe it would all destroy him but he could try to help the people around it hold themselves together.

He pulled away but sat there next to her now, shoulder pressed against hers, trying to ground himself again.

He was quiet, and that was ok. They were really the type that could just stay next to each other and take in the fact that they were together again. Still, she did lightly run a hand through his hair. It was almost funny: she'd had no friends back home, didn't even go to school because of how much training she needed. Yet now, when it was needed, she found she could still FEEL for her friends and want to make them feel better.

"Think of all the art we could make now to express our traumatic experiences. We'll be bonafide hipsters in a week."

He couldn't help but laugh a bitter little laugh.

"'Caverns of My Pain,' by Guy - just Guy. Instead of my whole name. And all it is is a single blue line."

He mimed painting a single vertical line.

Mindy held onto the hand.

"Yeah, but make the line all frayed! That way they can start making up shit about your Cavern and how it speaks to them on a personal level!"

Jokes, but they helped.

"Okay, fine."

Guy made a brief shaky gesture with the imaginary brush.

"The frayed line represents the jagged edges of my sadness."

"And don't forget to add descriptive words. 'Peaks and valleys of my soul,' or 'the cruel, embittered hands of fate,' shit like that. They will eat it up like hamburgers."

Assuming he knew what that was.

"It's not easy, to say don't give in when something bad like this happens. But I believe your stronger than them."

"Let's hope so," he said slowly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and giving them a squeeze.

Oh, he hoped so.

She could see in his eyes he was still haunted by what happened to him, and that was horrible, but in a way? She knew it might make him a little more daring too. This whole place, it was a ticking time bomb, and it was really only a matter of time.

this place is a narrative mess

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wanna end it here?

Totally fine!