Guy Crood (
acroodawakening) wrote in
thecapitol2014-05-13 11:31 pm
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Entry tags:
this place is a narrative mess
Who| Closed to Guy and his close CR
What| Guy is brought back to the Tribute Center
Where| District 6 and Guy's room
When| The night of the expose when he's returned and the next morning after.
Warnings/Notes| CW: Possible mention of bidding, mental trauma/dissociation, the usual for someone's that dealt with Penny
When the Peacekeepers brought him back, Guy was silent, floating along like a ghost next to them. His face was still blotchy from the crying and his eyes were red-rimmed but there was no emotion on his face. He'd shut down. Sometimes it was okay to take time to be sad and sometimes you got so sad you had to not think but it had never been like this.
He had always been someone that dealt with his feelings as they came and only shoved them aside for later if he was facing something life or death. Then when it was over, he dealt with them, felt them, and moved on.
This had finally pushed him beyond that. He'd felt so much - so much fear and despair and misery - that something had collapsed in itself and now there was just a dull buzzing behind his ears.
The world no longer made sense and the worst part of it was that the things that did make sense, like his story, like the life he'd shaped for himself, had been taken away from him. His story had been twisted into something else and now it didn't belong to him anymore.
Now it would be what they wanted it to be and he would be the thing they wanted him to be and there was nothing he could do about it, except hope that he got boring enough they cut the thread that tied him to this new life and let him drift away. Now his life would be just like the emptiness inside a shell instead of the patterns on the outside or the sounds it could make.
What| Guy is brought back to the Tribute Center
Where| District 6 and Guy's room
When| The night of the expose when he's returned and the next morning after.
Warnings/Notes| CW: Possible mention of bidding, mental trauma/dissociation, the usual for someone's that dealt with Penny
When the Peacekeepers brought him back, Guy was silent, floating along like a ghost next to them. His face was still blotchy from the crying and his eyes were red-rimmed but there was no emotion on his face. He'd shut down. Sometimes it was okay to take time to be sad and sometimes you got so sad you had to not think but it had never been like this.
He had always been someone that dealt with his feelings as they came and only shoved them aside for later if he was facing something life or death. Then when it was over, he dealt with them, felt them, and moved on.
This had finally pushed him beyond that. He'd felt so much - so much fear and despair and misery - that something had collapsed in itself and now there was just a dull buzzing behind his ears.
The world no longer made sense and the worst part of it was that the things that did make sense, like his story, like the life he'd shaped for himself, had been taken away from him. His story had been twisted into something else and now it didn't belong to him anymore.
Now it would be what they wanted it to be and he would be the thing they wanted him to be and there was nothing he could do about it, except hope that he got boring enough they cut the thread that tied him to this new life and let him drift away. Now his life would be just like the emptiness inside a shell instead of the patterns on the outside or the sounds it could make.
no subject
Then Hawkeye pretends he sees something he wants, and an 'ah-ha' expression takes over, smug and pleased and 'I knew that' plastered all over. His body language was as good at being obnoxiously loud as his words. Hawkeye nods. Tai. Tie? "What, you're not going offer to take a message? I want my subscription terminated." Okay. "Okay Tie, I'm Bullseye. Real name's Francis Barber Pierce, but that's a mouthful. I'm a tree surgeon and I despise the color green. -I know, right? Talk about a conundrum. Anyway, my twin- he's a block head. Literally has a blocky head. Should probably see a doctor about that. He goes around calling himself Hawkeye of all things, and anyway he's gone home, too. There's lobster to eat and honeysuckle to sniff, and the sounds of the ocean to fall asleep to. Before he left, though, he said, 'Bullseye, go find Guy and ask him if he wants a piece of this pie'- it's banana cream, really good- 'and I said, but Hawkeye what if I don't find Guy?' And he said, 'then ask Tai if he wants Guy's pie'. Though I'd rather keep it all to myself, so never say I'm not a nice guy, Tai."
Ouch, his tongue. Pierce takes a deep breath and leans back and says, "Do you want some of Hawkeye's pie for Guy, Tai?" After all that, he hopes he at least gets a little better news than the fact Guy's thought to abandon himself, even if it was under a playful mask. "If you say No, I'm going to keep talking and that's going to be detrimental to our health."
no subject
"You can keep talking," he said, his voice high and thin and watery. "It makes me laugh and I really, really need that right now."
There was a loud sniffle.
"Not that I can stop you because if you're anything like your brother, your favorite thing in all the world is talking to yourself."
no subject
He sighs, hunches over so he can prop his chin up against a hand, his elbow resting on his knee. A cat folded over quite neatly. "And I came here wondering if you'd like to let me see how you're doing. So far you haven't. Guy, I'd like to talk. Gorgeous as my voice is, sometimes it feels like nails on a chalkboard to me. I'm worried here."
no subject
Not forever, though. Not forever. Don't hide. His parents had told him not to hide and he knew he couldn't do it forever and still be himself.
"I'll come out a little bit, though."
There were burrowing sounds under there, until half of his head was visible from under the mattress.
Only his eyes, which were red-rimmed and ringed by dark circles.
no subject
So he was late to the party and the guilt of seeing the exhaustion felt like a sucker punch, but he brightened because he wasn't going to be talking to nothingness now. He inched nearer. Hawkeye pointed at his own hair and said, "You know, I think Tai had better hair." Followed inevitably by, "How are you feeling?" with equal parts concern and solidity shared between his expression and tone, though there was no indication that Hawkeye was waiting on any one particular reply. He'd allow a color name as an answer if he got it. He'd work with it. But to keep moving, he thought, was essential.
no subject
A hand reached out from under the nest so he could wipe at his eyes and disappeared again just as quickly.
"And I'm feeling rotten, but I guess that's going to be my normal state of existence now."
no subject
Hawkeye hadn't seen Sidney run a hand down his face or through his hair before, and so he keeps from it himself. "Rotten? You? The guy who wished flying scorpions on the world but helps perfect strangers when he can? Do you want to tell me why? If you don't, I- sometimes it helps to talk about it with someone who will just be there to listen. Makes you feel better sometimes, or just different, which is also sometimes better. I don't do much to inspire confidence on this one detail, but I like listening a lot more than I like talking." Hawkeye waits a second, taps a foot. No, no, he can't parrot Sidney all the way through and he might as well stop it there. "I like helping people. And I want to help you, because I know you need something right now but I don't know what. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, either. So it'd help us both if you... talk a little, for a little while. I'm not going to force you into anything, but I don't know what you need right now that I can give you."
no subject
His home was full of jungle and desert and it was the only place he could make things warm enough to be truly comfortable.
"I don't know how you can help me. Nobody can really help me now, other than doing the usual and being my friends, I guess."
[ooc: Are you comfortable with Guy telling him about the bidding over the course of the thread? I can have him avoid the subject if necessary.]