[Open] Got to Start Somewhere

[aboveangrybees]

Who| Steve Rogers and ANYONE!
What| Arriving somewhere new isn't always a welcoming experience.
Where| District 9 Floor, the Roof, and Commons
When| Day of the Newbies (May 13th)
Warnings/Notes| At most some mild spoilers for Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Steve didn't fight the second time he woke up, if these people figured out how to sedate him, he needed to tread more carefully. It's not his fault he thought they were Hydra at first; it was eerily similar to when he woke up at SHIELD the first time.

Working for SHIELD this past year has really set home the idea of covert being as useful, if not more useful, than outright action against an enemy. Gather intel on your enemy, then strike. Don't go in stupid. Stupid gets you killed. But he's only been told the barest of facts of his new found situation and expectations, so surface his feet aren't even wet, but he can see that the injustice of it all runs deep. His teeth are already set on edge, the more he learns the harder it'll be to keep holding back.

His arm feels light without his shield, but coupled with the lingering grogginess of being sedated, Steve decides to take the needed time to recover before setting out. The shield isn't necessary, but it makes him more cautious to be caught unaware without it.

[1. District 9 Floor]

[So, this is his gilded cage? It's nice, he'll give it that much. Very secure, but he's more bothered by how that security could so easily be turned around on them. He's not surprised, if they grabbed him, then they probably grabbed other people who are just as capable, so they need to know they can lock up their captives when they need to.

Moving over to a window, Steve raps his knuckle against it, able to tell the thickness and sturdiness without much trouble. He could easily survive the fall, but wouldn't be able to break the glass, not with how weak his body feels or lacking his shield.] Well, there goes that escape plan.

[2. Commons/City Circle]

[He doesn't stay in any place for long after leaving his floor, moving from one location to the next, curious but guarded, trying to grasp all the knowledge he can get about his situation, audience, and environment. There has to be weaknesses, chinks in the well crafted armor. These people are obviously cautious, they're not so arrogant as to take them too lightly, but there's still some arrogance, and where there is ego there is fault.

He'll find it.]

[3. Roof]

[It's where he ends his day, in the garden that makes it almost easy to forget his situation, back to the city as he leans against a statue. He doesn't forget though, not even in the slightest, but it's a good place to piece together his information, maybe even entertain learning to use his communication device.

His anger builds as he comes to realize he's found less to work with than he would like, but Steve has always had a tight reign on his emotions, keeping it locked down. When the time comes, he'll happily explore them while tearing this place apart, but until then, he's going to try and keep a low profile.

Wouldn't do to have their eyes trained on him too soon.]


ooc: Feel free to reply in prose! I'm open to either option of Rping.

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[aboveangrybees]

[He raises an eyebrow at her, not sitting back, but keeping his elbows on his knees.]

If I wanted to be comfortable, I wouldn't be here right now.

[There was no way he was going to be comfortable watching his friends struggle, watching them suffer and fight, but this wasn't about comfort. He had already decided to set that aside when he chose to watch any of these videos.

Wouldn't be the first time he's done something he didn't want to in order to accomplish a bigger more important task.]

[assassinat]

There's no comfort in ignorance.

[ At least not for someone like her; she expects the same of him. Those who happened to fall into the Avengers all shared some things in common, the drive for knowledge to make the best decisions usually ranking high up there. ]

In the sixth arena's roster, I recognized several of our comrades. This arena was based on Disneyland--[ A brief pause as she considers if he even knows what that place is. Would be kind of hard to miss, but there's no telling what this Steve knows. ]--a theme park, so it's depressing to watch. This one has Banner, Barton, Carter, Stark, Coulson, and...

[ You. Natasha's emotions never betray her, so she doesn't finish answering that, just flips through to show that he's still alive during the third week. ]

There are others there I know, but I don't think the names are all that significant to you. The fifth week is where the first casualty we're familiar with takes place--with Coulson, that is. Banner falls the next week and I wonder now if that's what Tony saw...

[ She intentionally switches the names up. Surnames for those they are watching on the screen, first name for those here with her now. ]

[aboveangrybees]

[He gives her a bit of a flat look when she clarifies that Disneyland is a theme park, clearly conveying he's fully aware what it is. Sure, he's behind on a lot of things, but he's had a lot of free time between missions.

Steve turns his attention to watch himself on the screen. If he hadn't already seen his name in the archive, he probably been shocked, but he's not. It's only confirmation. Uncomfortable confirmation that he's seeing himself do things he has no memory of. That all recollection is gone.

Right now he's composed enough to keep most of his reactions locked away, to keep calm.]

Stark watched this? [There's some concern there. It's hard enough for Steve to watch, he can't imagine Stark took it well, the man seems much more sensitive than he cares to let on.]

[assassinat]

Someone showed it to him on his first day. [ No wonder she found him drinking right after. Any good man would have done the same. ] Something about dragging Banner's body around is what he had told me.

[ Natasha doesn't bother informing him that he seemed to be in denial about the whole thing as she leans forward a bit, watching Barton closely anytime he comes onto screen. There's some attachment there, but she doesn't express how she feels while watching. ]

And here is... [ Her voice stops as she looks over the names, not able to recognize the younger gentleman. It looks enough like him, but: ] Bucky Barnes?

[aboveangrybees]

[Well, that explains some of Stark's attitude and level of inebriation when he first found him.

Her attention zeroing on Barton doesn't escape him, but he doesn't say much on it, not right now at least. Not when his own attention is stolen anytime Peggy shows up on the screen. Now that he can expect it, Steve keeps his reactions under wraps. Being a leader taught him long how to contain his emotions when needed. Not that he's any good at it when he's surprised by something major.

And he wasn't expecting that, his eyes going wide at the screen then at Natasha, then back to looking at the considerably young looking Bucky.]

That's Bucky? [He looks at the boy, he's thinner in the shoulders than his own Bucky was at around that age, but the similarities are there. Still, it makes his stomach twist to see him so young and in this situation.

Steve hold his tongue on mentioning Bucky told him about the age difference on Lonestar's post, that he was sixteen, but...] He's so young. Was he really that young during the war?

[assassinat]

[ No Steve, that's just Tony's general attitude towards life. If he's not drunk, he's off doing terrible things to the world and then just maybe after he loses a lover or ten, he grows up to be a Good Leader. Just... don't go off telling him any of that. ]

Yes, to my knowledge. I didn't keep up with American heroes until after I...

[ Her voice draws off into silence, not wanting to talk about the circumstances of her visa or why she switched sides.

Even if the answer is painfully obvious right in front of him. How her brows furrow down in concern every time Clint is on the screen and the way her fingers flex against her leg anxiously, as if she wants to leap into the fray to help out. It isn't her Clint, but it's one who desperately needs her help regardless. ]

Was he older in the war with you?

[aboveangrybees]

[Steve wants to ask if Clint got her to leave her past for SHIELD like he had in his world, but it seems like too much to ask while on camera. Seems too much like pulling teeth with an audience.

He nods at her question.] He wasn't that young, that's for sure.

[Just, Bucky looks so young, it makes his mouth hang heavy with a frown. Running around on screen is himself like a year old mirror image, a Peggy he remembers like the clear ring of a bell, and then there's a Bucky who's light years younger than his own during the war. It seems surreal in the worst way possible. It's a mix he never really thought to imagine before now.

But he swallows back whatever expression was lingering on his face before now, instead focusing on something else. Feeding the people watching them isn't his intention.]

Is Barton how you remember him? [He's positive that's the Clint from his world, but it's also hard to tell without knowing for sure.]

[assassinat]

He isn't. [ Natasha's calm when she says that, watching the faces of those she should know, but really doesn't on the screen. ] This Barton doesn't smile.

[ That seems to be enough to calm her down as she settles back into the couch. ]

It's possible that he's from an alternate world--Bucky, that is. This would make number three if so.

[aboveangrybees]

[Smile? Steve thinks about it and can't recall Clint ever really smiling all that much. Here and there, a smirk when he knows his arrow will be true, the few times he's watched him and Natasha talk, but no. The Barton he knows doesn't really smile all that often.]

Huh, he's more how I remember him. He's not much of a smiler in my experience.

[He does then think about this child Bucky again being from yet another world too.]

How many alternate worlds are you used to? [The humor and smirk are wry, it's such a strange notion for him still. He can believe it, but still weird.]

[assassinat]

[ Briefly she wonders if that's a trick question. How many alternate worlds was she used to? It isn't as if it was a common enough thing, but people traveling through time as well as different dimensions happens enough in New York. Poor, poor New York. ]

You never get used to it. [ Her voice is light as she watches the figures on the screen with a distant look in her eyes. ]

Right now... I'm lost. [ Natasha admits without even realizing it, falling into that comfort that most did around Steve. Hard to be dishonest with a charismatic superhero at your side. ]

[aboveangrybees]

[Yeah, can't see how anyone could get used to it. The idea of meeting another version of himself is a very odd and uncomfortable notion.

But he doesn't get to keep that train of thought when Natasha opens up, admits something so vulnerable. Lost how though? They're all lost in another world, but he knows it's more than that. She's in a world she doesn't belong, doesn't have a foot hold in, her ability to go unnoticed compromised by her score. All that on top of the fact most of her allies aren't even from her world, she's watching people she should care for but doesn't know struggle to survive on screen, knows her ability to help the man she cares for is limited - it's one thing after another after another.

Steve can't blame her for being lost. He can't say he isn't, but he's really good at pretending to not be.

He turns to look at her, an understanding look on his face. No sympathy or judgement, just understanding.] Then let's find our way together.

[assassinat]

Together? [ Her voice falters momentarily as she locks her gaze with his, thinking that maybe it could be all right to agree to this. ] You mean the two of us?

[ Then she falls back into her comfort zone of being estranged from all she knows. Not even her lovers can shake her free from it as she pulls her legs up to her chest, resting her head on her knees. A weak posture, but she's watching something that should be reflected in her actions.

But as she watches them, she doesn't feel anything other than guilt. ]

[aboveangrybees]

[He watches her, reads her actions, tries to read how much is real and how much is acted. It's not that he doesn't know how to read Natasha, but she's a very different Natasha. It's like a family member of a close friend, so many of the gestures and body language are the same, but it's still so foreign. A new dialect.

He keeps his voice low when he speaks again.] I mean you're not alone, even if you don't want it to be the two of us. [Because when he looks at the screen and sees a friend die, he knows he'll fail them for a while. That they'll die at least once, maybe more, before he gets them out of here, helps everyone. He's becoming more aware of the danger and that he could very well die permanently for this cause, but it's completely worth the risk and sacrifice. It's just a hard blow to realize he'll have to watch them suffer before then.

But if she chooses his hand to hold, then he'll hold it until he succeeds in helping her find her way.

He keeps his voice low, tone level when he speaks again, masking what he can of how he feels.] But generally that's what it means.

[assassinat]

We're all teammates. [ She reminds him quietly, her gaze solely on the screen instead of him. ]

That makes it natural for us to work together.

[ Her lips turn downward suddenly at the inevitable death that was coming up. Having prepared herself for it, seeing it just caught her off-guard. Of all things, it would be a child that brought him down. He wasn't her Clint, she tries to remind herself, but no amount of lies can keep her from the truth that fell down along her cheeks. Crying is so foreign an action to her that she doesn't acknowledge it at first, choosing instead to lift her fingers to her cheek curiously to figure out what was happening. ]

[aboveangrybees]

That's part of it, yeah. [Not all of it though, but he leaves it at that. If she wants to keep it at such, he can.

Watching Barton be taken down is harder than he imagined. He has tighten his jaw painfully to keep his lip from trembling. While he won't cry, it still feels like he's failing a man who's part of his team. It still hurts. The entertainment value these people put on this makes his fists clench until they ache sharply.

His attention is grabbed from the screen when Natasha moves, making him cast his eyes towards her. It's not the first time he's seen her cry and he's not surprised since it's over Clint, but it's the first time he's seen her act like she has no idea what's going on. That in itself is quite sad.

Taking a clean handkerchief from his pocket, he offers it to her.]

[assassinat]

[ Tears aren't easily spilled from her so when she comprehends what's going on (and more importantly comes to the realization that Steve also knows what's going on), she's quick to shake her head. Bolstering down within her pride, Natasha denies letting him in that close. She can't afford to be vulnerable. ]

You're going to need that for yourself.

[ She reminds him with a bit more edge to her tone than necessary, shifting uncomfortably in place. Picking up the remote, she pushes it forward, beyond the recaps of Clint Barton to settle on someone who would affect Steve himself.

Kind of a dick move, but she rather end this sooner than later. The two of them curled up on a couch ignoring these feelings of helplessness and despair all in order to prepare themselves for what's to come. ]

[aboveangrybees]

[Steve is immediately aware of what she's done and it hurts. That she would move to try and hurt him by showing him Stark's death - he remembers the man mentioning they were supposedly good friends in Natasha's world and that's what makes this move hurt - but unfortunately, it wouldn't affect him anymore than Barton's death had.

Doesn't matter anyway, he's not going to play this petty game.

Maybe because she isn't expecting it, but he snatches the controller from her with relative ease, using it to end the program and turn off the TV. After he turns to her, looking her in the face, wanting to meet her eyes but if she doesn't then so be it. He's not upset looking, just calm and understanding.]

It's only a weakness if you make it one, Natasha. [It's only just a whisper, said as he gently pushes the handkerchief to her hand and stands.]

Get some rest. The arena's a day away. [And with that, he leaves.

With the remote.]