Tell Me I'm Gonna Be Alright [Open]

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

WHO| Howard and OPEN
WHAT| Binge-eating is a public sport.
WHERE| Below Timberline
WHEN| A few days after the rave.
WARNINGS| None yet.

It was a bad idea to give Howard a credit card. At least, unless the Gamemakers intended for him to get himself into ridiculous amounts of debt in record time eating out, which they probably did. As soon as he found a restaurant and the fact that the credit card apparently meant 'infinite money' to him, his mind was set on milking it for all it's worth.

Which is, at the moment, a few plates and some doggie boxes full of food to take home. It doesn't matter that there's foods in the suites. For the moment, he's living in the land of plenty, and he's going to take every opportunity he can to enjoy it. His stomach perpetually aches and cramps with the feeling of being too full, but after too many months of brutal starvation, he'll take that feeling over hunger. After two plates he's even managed to stop eating with his hands and go back to using silverware, although he still brings each plate close to him as if certain the other patrons are going to try and take it from him.

He just wishes people would stop staring at him. He knows it's inevitable, he's a tribute, and while he isn't one who did very well he did bash someone's head in. Every time they look at him, he's reminded of that. He tells himself that Lottie's alive and death isn't real in the arena, but just the idea of it makes the otherwise delicious food seem tasteless.

"There is a limit on this card, you know," someone says as they ring it up for another plate.

"Shut up," he says in return.

And when there's another full plate in front of him he starts on that, too, the taste on his tongue reminding him that here in the Capitol, he's safe. In this place, the bad things are temporary inconveniences until you come back to this life of luxury. He's going to be okay.

Another forkful, he's going to be okay.

Comments

[retrieverchef]

Howard might notice another Tribute eating at the restaurant. Although this one's not eating alone. Eliot smiles and laughs with his date as if he had picked the date and the restaurant. He looks up and smiles sympathetically at the boy from across the room.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard doesn't smile back for a moment - he recognizes Eliot, but the way he processes the situation is to first assume Eliot wants his meal, and by the time a few seconds and elapsed and Howard realizes that that's silly, it's been too much time and his smile just seems forced.

When he finishes the plate, he collects his doggie boxes and walks over to Eliot's table, ignoring Eliot's date. "Are you looking at me for a reason?"

He doesn't sound suspicious so much as just curious. He hasn't run into many tributes who've been game to smile at each other.

*facepalms at self* How many tags am I gonna find that I must let get buried?

[retrieverchef]

The man shakes his head. "Not particularly. You looked a bit... dazed. That's all."

Which isn't quite what he means. Rather the boy looks more like he expects everything to fade away. It's a look he's seen far to often.

It happens! No worries!

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard's brow furrows. "I'm keeping a perfectly good eye on my surroundings, thanks." He interprets Eliot's statement to be that Eliot thought Howard wasn't being appropriately vigilant.

"You're another tribute, aren't you?"

Thanks!

[retrieverchef]

"I am." Eliot reached across the table for his date's hand. He couldn't let her feel ignored. "And relax. You're not in the Arena right now. It's fine."

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"What, are you going to tell me we all get immortality in the Capitol too?" Because that would be pretty nifty, but Howard doubts it would put much of a dent in his paranoia. There are worse fates than death. He glances at Eliot's hand, around the date's, and puts his own hands in his pockets.

[retrieverchef]

"Immortality? No. But not the threats of the Arena, either."

He's seen for himself that death in the Capitol lasts. But there's a measure of safety for the younger Tributes.

[makeflowersgrow]

Someone else is there and munching too. Eponine eats constantly here. The rich food after all these years - ten years, or there abouts - makes her sick, but Eponine doesn't care. She vomits, sometimes in the street, as often as she can in a toilet, but she goes right back to eating. And as a result, her face is less sallow, and her waist is widening just a little.
These people are mad if they think she's giving up all of this to go back into that stupid arena and be killed.

Spotting the boy from the party, Eponine makes her way over.
"M'sieur? You mind if I sit with you?"

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Go for it." He doesn't offer to share his food - he doesn't like Eponine, or anyone, nearly well enough for that - but he pats at the seat next to him. He likes her well enough; like him, she's a scrounger. The eyes around the room follow them.

"You're looking good." They've both been packing weight back on - Howard can still see his ribs jutting out any time he's shirtless, but the sunken areas around his eyes have started to fill and his arms and legs are starting to look smooth, rather than like obviously disparate pieces of bone and muscle stuck together.

[makeflowersgrow]

"It is that stylist. She insists I brush my hair two hundred times a night. I tried to tell her I can't do it, but she has someone come to do it for me and they natter natter natter, 'Eponine, what have you been doing? Your hair is matted - oh, and there is a grey hair - and split ends - well, Eponine, we will make you over in the morning.' I like being a proper lady, M'sieur, but they make me feel funny... dirty and not a real person."

Eponine chatters as she eats, slurping up the rich meat in sauce. She has no idea what she's eating, and she doesn't particularly care. Howard will be treated to a nice view of mushed up food if he cares to look at her whilst she talks.

"It is still better than Paris - or the arena. I have told them, I am not going back and I will not kill. I would rather do a job here than be in there. There is no point. The food is too good here."

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Yeah. I've noticed that." His stylist's found things wrong with him, and while he's been happy to have some things fixed - hair cut back down to a manageable length, rotting teeth removed, unsightly eye infections treated - he's resisted their attempts to 'doll him up' with hair dye, tattoos and clothing that makes him wonder how girls feel so comfortable wearing revealing outfits. "It's like if I don't put my foot down, I'll wake up in the morning with someone else's face transplanted on mine. Someone prettier, since that's what matters here."

Howard's table manners are no better. He uses his fork and cloth napkin, but the former seems more like an afterthought of a more polite time, as he piles food up to the handle - and the latter is something to sop up any juices he can't lick up, and eventually ends up in his mouth as he sucks it dry.

"Yeah? And are they giving you a job here?" He'd be surprised if they were. "The way I see it, the time we do in the arena is our employment. And then this is how they pay us."

[makeflowersgrow]

"She said no." Eponine stirs her sauce moodily, before looking around quickly. Capitol citizens are staring, but Eponine decides she doesn't care. She lifts the plate to her lips and slurps up the sauce, licking the plate clean quite literally. The citizens look appalled at her, before they begin to chuckle; there's sauce in her hair and round her mouth, and dripping off her chin. Eponine laughs too, though she clutches her sore belly.

"I don't care what she says, though. Sometimes in Paris, my Papa used to try to make me do things I didn't like. Sometimes I had to do them, if he sent the gang to watch, or the man would come back to Papa to complain, but sometimes, I used to throw the letter in the Seine and filch money from someone else. It is the same here, except I don't care who watches me. If I go back, I'll just be killed, and what is the point in that?"

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard sucks on his napkin as he waits for the waiter to bring more. He wonders when he'll hit the limit on the card. He wonders if it matters, really - he'll still be fed in his room. It's gross, he thinks, how far he fell from where he was when he was thirteen. Now he's like a pet animal, waiting for the next meal, but that's all people are when the trappings are stripped off. Walking beings of need.

Howard's eyes narrow as he tries to piece together what Eponine's just told him, and he hopes it's just the language barrier making her sound as if she was pimped out. Given her appearance when they first met, however, he doubts it. "Parents suck. At least we don't have them around here any more to tell us what to do."

The truth is he misses his, but he can't help but feel the adults in his life abandoned him, so screw them.

"Entertainment for them."

[overbite]

Jade, too, is still fixated on the idea of "infinite money", but unlike other tributes in the locale, she hasn't absolutely buried her table in food. There are too many options on this menu and she just has no idea where to begin! How does anyone ever manage to eat out?

She sighs and turns away to stare thoughtfully out into space and that's when she notices Howard and his meal stack. The sight makes her grin in spite of herself, like she's amused by seeing all of that food in one place, but it's a sincere question when she calls from her table nearby, "So which order is the best?"

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Does it matter?" To Howard, it really doesn't. While initially there was novelty in trying things he hadn't had a chance to have in the FAYZ, the truth is that sitting and chewing slowly, savoring a meal, isn't something that's easy for him anymore. He keeps barely suppressing the urge to wolf it down.

She isn't staring at him like he's some kind of minor celebrity, though. She looks like someone approaching another teen in the cafeteria. "Who're you, Bucky?"

[overbite]

For a moment she hums thoughtfully, considering that. "Good point! But I probably am only hungry enough for one meal so I am determined to make it count." The entire menu looks appetizing, just not all together at once.

"Bucky?" Jade repeats, rolls her eyes, and makes an effort to return that with the most exaggerated face of false frustration she can manage. It only serves to make her teeth more prominent. Of course, she's back to her usual bright smile when she answers, "Jade Harley! What's your name?"

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"That's because you only eat when you're hungry." Howard's eating out of a combination of fear, stress, boredom and compulsion. He wonders how long it will take him to get to the point of eating just enough to sate hunger.

The fact that she rolled her eyes means he's determined that the nickname will stick. "I like my name for you better. I'm Howard."

sorry for the backtagging, i had a holiday season to beat up fkjhfg

[overbite]

"Every single teeth joke in the world has already been made," she objects, pouting in her previous over-the-top manner. The look doesn't last long, of course; she goes back to her usual friendly smile and hums, "I never thought about eating for any other reason than that. Do you mind if I sit with you, Howard?" Too late, she's already hopping over to the table, as social as always. "So no recommendations at all?"

No problem! Just make sure you check in to AC :)

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"None." He guesses he can't really tell her to go away now, can he? "Except add butter to everything. It's free calories, good for packing it on before they put us back in the arena."

[cowardfacinghappiness]

With her new sense of drive, the idea of actually winning be a possibility constantly in the back of her mind, Momoko was back to her original strategy of gathering attention and, as a result, Sponsors. Which meant more public appearances, ones that didn't involve begging and threats from her spineless escort.

The credit helped, giving her a reason to be out and about without making it too obvious that her demeanor had changed (it wouldn't do to bring attention to Ariadne's visit). So, the plan was to be sociable, and eating out just made sense, but the result was that Momoko was seated at a table, a barely touched plate of fruit and sweets before, as she stared wide-eyed and not a little disgusted at the boy gorging himself nearby.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

It's not that Howard doesn't notice her staring at him. It's that, until this plate is done, he has more pressing concerns. That would be making sure the food's in the only place he knows its safe, stuffed inside him.

It's only once that plate is done and he's awaiting another that he turns attention to her, or rather, to the plate of mostly-uneaten fruits in front of her. She must be someone who's never really gone hungry. He meets her eyes with a sneer on his face. "You got a problem?"

[cowardfacinghappiness]

"Many," says Momoko, wrinkling her nose. "This view is one of them."

warning: language

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Then look at the wall, bitch." He wipes up some crumbs with his hand and licks them off his palm. It's all talk; even he feels disgusted with himself. But who's this well-dressed prissy woman to judge him?

[cowardfacinghappiness]

She narrows her eyes at him. "You are aware you're in public, yes? Or is this some sort of show you're putting on for our amusement?"

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

He narrows his eyes back. "Look, if you're a sponsor you're obviously not going to back me, so just do yourself a favor and look away. I need to put weight on. I don't have to do it pretty."