A catch all. Partially open

[gardienne]

Who: Eponine and Sigma: Eponine and Felicity: Eponine and Howard: Eponine and anyone else who wants to jump in!
What: A catch all post for catch-ups with various people she's in a bad mood with.
Where: Out and about in the Capitol: locations include the park and a local French style patisserie shop.
When: Some time after Jessica has worked her magic and helped Eponine on her way to a makeover.
Warnings: Eponine should just come with a warning sign, methinks. I'm gonna go on a limb and say 'talk of homosexuality, possibly in a negative light', 'talk of social class', 'talk of Harley's march of shame through the Capitol'.


Eponine and Sigma

Perhaps he knew where to find her? Perhaps he knew that she'd be sat on the bench overlooking the pond where they'd fed the ducks on that gloriously happy day when she came back to the Capitol. She was sat on the bench now, with her feet drawn up, staring at the pond. For once, she was wearing a couple of warm looking cardigans, and a shawl on top of that. She had a thick wooly hat as well, to disguise her newly bald head. What was she thinking? Not much. She was just sort of... staring. Meditating on how she had ended up in such a position, and how she could possibly get out of her mess. She turned her head when she heard footsteps, though, and scowled when she saw it was Sigma. She'd been avoiding Sigma since Harley had caught her, and she didn't want to see him now.

"Go away, Monsieur." Eponine said.


Eponine and Felicity

As the morning stretched into afternoon, Eponine ended up at a new favourite little cafe of hers. She liked it in the patisserie: the owners tried their best to speak French, and they loved having Eponine chatter it at top speed. For her part, she thought it was hilarious. Their French was dire, and it was nice to feel superior to people for a change.

So having had a looong conversation, half in French and half in English, Eponine was sat in the window of the cafe. On the table in front of her were several croissants and a little pot of strawberry jam, and another of marmalade, and a glass of orange juice, and a recorder that Eponine was fiddling with. The owners had asked her to record herself speaking so that they could play it in the cafe and inject a bit of authentic Paris into their business, and she was diligently trying to do as she had been asked. But it was frustrating, and Eponine swore under her breath, before trudging back to the counter. But so cross, so frustrated was she with the recorder that she didn't even look where she was going and bumped into someone awfully familiar.

Immediately, Eponine scowled and her free hand went to the turban style hat covering her baldness.

"Excuse me, Madame." She muttered, keeping her eyes averted.

Eponine and Howard

It had been a long day, and Eponine was quite drained by the time she had dragged herself back to the Tribute Towers. She went straight for the lift, but once inside, decided to just ... just not go to District Three. She didn't think she could cope with Jessica and Maximus and Marius - oh God, Marius. But where could she go?

She ended up on the rooftop. She could be alone up there, at least. Eponine settled herself down amongst the flowers, and lay back, looking straight up at the evening sky. After all of ten minutes, she began to wish that she'd brought food with her, but she was too comfortable, too absorbed in her thoughts about Sigma and Felicity to be bothered to move.

Eponine didn't hear the door open, nor did she hear Howard's footsteps until he was almost on top of her. But , with him barely five feet away, Eponine heard, and turned and groaned. No more. Please.

She closed her eyes, and flopped back over onto her back. "What do you want, Monsieur?"

OPEN

She stayed on the roof all night. It was a little chilly up there, and definitely damp, but she didn't really care. For a while, she simply wandered, pacing the garden backwards and forwards, looking quite the ghost in her pale dress and light pink turban. The singing gave her away, though. Her hoarse voice travelled in the still air as she sang ditty after raucous ditty about love and men and death and murder. But, for a change, her mind was quite at peace. Perhaps things could be different after all?

Her song stuttered into silence, though, as she heard a footstep somewhere behind her.

"Be careful, Monsieur. Or is it Madame? This is not the arena and I do not want to die."

Comments

[gardienne]

"No you don't. You love men. Or was that a lie?"

Eponine didn't give a jot for the colour of the sky. She didn't give a jot about the fact that she was lay on top of one of the tallest buildings in Panem. She forgot completely about her troubles with Sigma and Harley and Felicity and Enjolras and everyone else. She tried to understand where Howard was coming from.

"How can you love me after what I did to you?"

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

He flinches when she says he loves men. Outright flinches.

"Look, just because I'm not sticking it in you doesn't mean I don't care about you, okay?" He shakes his head and glowers out at the sunset. "I can still, you know. Remember who you are besides all that crazy stuff."

He pauses. "So. Is that your way of admitting you were a dick?"

[gardienne]

"No!" She shoots back at him, glaring. But after a minute, she sighs and pushes herself up so she's sat looking at the sunset as well.

"Yes." She admits quietly. "I was bad- wicked, even. I told you I am horrible - you never before believed it, no? But you - you were bad too. To do it to me. After what I told you - It is not an excuse for me. But I was so mad for what you said to me. Do you understand it?"

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

He nods. "We kind of both sucked."

Understatement. All the tears, all the screaming, throwing things, slapping, shoving, namecalling, slander...

Injuries don't heal right, but neither do the friendships that fester with infection. They always leave marks.

"I miss being okay with you, alright? I miss you." He holds a hand out gingerly, as if she's going to as likely rip it off as shake it. "Square?"

[gardienne]

She takes a shaky breath, and reaches for his hand. " You must stop using words that make more sense." She tries to laugh - but there's a sense of misunderstanding there as well. Howard naming shapes...

She edges closer. "What now? Are we friends again?"

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Their hands link, not in a romantic way but in the way you hold someone's hand to tell them you're with them. It makes Howard want to cry or apologize or maybe just jump with her off this roof.

"Yeah. I mean, you want to be friends again, right?"

[gardienne]

She nods. "I don't think I ever didn't want it. Well, perhaps when you first told me... I do not know. I mean - Howard - You were my first friend here - my first friend I have ever had. It's special, no? It's something. It's... Is that love? The other love?"

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"That's what I was trying to tell you all along." He exhales deep and watches as the sun winks out over the horizon, as red changes to purple. "That's what I meant. That's its own kind of love."

And he believes that. He truly, honestly believes that. It may be the unhealthy, codependent love he feels for Orc, but it's still honest. Still real and no less important than romantic love - maybe even moreso.

He gives her hand a squeeze.

[gardienne]

"I've never heard of this love before." She shifts closer and closer again, so that she can lean her head, as she always used to, on his shoulder. "But perhaps it is better than the normal kind? Perhaps there is less trouble in this kind of love?"

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

It's always looked funny, her leaning on his shoulder when she's a full head taller than him, and yet it's always worked for them. He lets her, and he drapes a spindly arm over her waist.

"Yeah. I think it's- I think this kind of love is easier. Less complicated. More real."

[gardienne]

It's a good job she's good at almost folding in on herself. It's how it works, her hankering down to cuddle in as close as possible.

"I think it is easy to lie and pretend otherwise. With the other love. But this one... No. I think I like that. Too many people have been lying to me. I do not even know where to begin. I think even Sigma has been lying, you know?"

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Sigma's too shit at lying. You'd know if he was lying to you." He cuddles her, and despite her boniness, despite the unwashed smell of her body, he's glad he has her here. There's something comfortable about her next to him.

[gardienne]

"He let Harley do that to me, you know? That day." She liked this. It was like old times, when things were better. Before Marius and Cosette came and things began to go down hill.

"He said I was as a daughter, but I don't think a Pa would let a woman do that to his girl. Not even my Pa would allow it, mostly. Perhaps for money, or if he'd be arrested for stopping it. But Sigma just... did it. I think I had him wrong."

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Maybe it took bravery he didn't have." Howard shrugs a little, starting to stroke her hair with his hand, those skinny blistered fingers. "You know that just because someone fucks up once doesn't mean they hate you, right?"

[gardienne]

Her poor, shaven head. It takes effort for Eponine not to flinch away from Howard's fingers, even as kindly as he means the gesture. But she stays still, and lets him run his hands against her bristle.

"Well, he should be more brave than that." She sighs though. "He told me he didn't want to be my Pa. He said that we should go our separate ways. He doesn't want me any more. But I don't care."

She obviously does.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Depending on if he strokes her head with or against the grain of her hair, it's alternately soft or prickly. He finds he likes both, the smoothness of the former and the bite of the latter.

"Did he actually say that? Tell me word for word what he said. Because, no offense, your actual Pa was a fucking asshole and I wouldn't want to be like him either."

[gardienne]

"No..." She shrugs away from Howard so she can look at him. "Anyway, I don't care if he were an asshole. He's still my Pa. Don't care if he'd've killed me. He's still my Pa, in't he?"

She takes a deep breath. "I told him he were as bad as my Pa - worse, I said, because my Pa would never have let no one do that to me, unless it were benefittin' him to let 'em. You know, like 'Parnasse or the cops or something? But Sigma were worse because he just let Harley do it, and it didn't even benefit him. And he got really mad at me and said that we should go our separate ways because I were right, and... and that were it."

Eponine knows she's yet again in the wrong, and she hides her face in her knees to avoid what she presumes will be accusing glares from Howard.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Nah. You give up your parent rights when you mistreat your kid. I mean, the shit Orc's dad did to him..."

Howard frowns, stopping rubbing Eponine's hair for a minute. "You know I wasn't kidding when I said I'd kill your dad if he showed up, right? Same for Orc's. And I bet Sigma'd do the same."

Eponine's tale sounds...slightly fictitious.

[gardienne]

That's quite unfortunate. For once in her life, she's telling the truth. But that's not important.

"What did Orc's pa do to him? Howard, I am supposed to love him, so you must tell me. Did he hurt him?"

She sighs though. "It ain't nowt, my Pa. You know, it is just what happens where I am from. I didn't much like it, but I never thought so much that it was bad before I came here. I would rather you didn't kill him, you know? Only I just have you back, and I should lose you to prison, or the hangman perhaps, if you did that."

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

For a moment Howard hesitates, unsure if this is the kind of secret he should be allowed to share and yet knowing that bonds with Eponine are formed through hardship. Through shared suffering. Through understanding.

"Did you see the scars on Orc's hands when he was human? His dad did that. Punched a whole right through them with a machine." Howard shakes his head.

"Is me getting caught the only reason you don't want me offing your dad?"

[gardienne]

No, Eponine hadn't noticed Orc's scars. She hadn't seen at all. She'd been too taken aback, and secretly quite dismayed, by her fat prince to notice his scars. But she nods now, feeling quite sick to imagine anyone hurting Orc like that.

"Had he - was he bad? Was his Pa trying to get money?" Her own Pa had punched Azelma's hand through the window of their room to make them look more poor. His act had been bad, but there was at least reason behind it. What about Orc's dad? Could he be worse than hers?

She shifts uncomfortably next to Howard, nudging him with her shoulder. "What other reason should there be? I still love him, if that's what you mean. He's still my Pa, isn't he?"

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"I don't know. Doesn't matter, does it? You don't fucking hurt your kid like that." Howard's voice has a certain coldness to it, a seriousness of a deeply-held belief that could only be welded to the spirit by hurt.

"He gave up the right to be your Pa a long time ago. That's all I'm saying."

[gardienne]

"Dunno. My Pa hurt us sometime... not like that. He put Azelma's hand through the window. But it weren't just to hurt her, you know? It were so the man would give us more money. So it's not so bad, is it? I got a new vest from it, and a stocking. And my Pa even got a coat! So that was not so bad." Eponine doesn't sound like she believes herself though. It hadn't been bad in Paris, but she was eventually beginning to understand that it was a horrible, ruthless life.

"Yeah, perhaps it is so. But he is the only Pa I have and the only one who even wanted me a little bit." She sighs. "Always, I am left behind. I should just get used to it."

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard shakes his head. It's hypocritical, he knows - he most definitely benefited off of Orc's pain time and again back in the FAYZ, using him as a drunken bodyguard, construction-worker, mule, but never like that.

"Don't talk like that. We both get left behind, you know, but you got company in that, right?" He shrugs. "Maybe I can talk to Wyatt again and convince him to want you like he does me. I mean, if he can want me he can want anyone."

[gardienne]

"He don't want me. He thinks I'm vile." Eponine pats Howard's hand. "It is a kind offer, but I think one of us is enough for any man. We are both horrid, you and I. I have Eva as well - she is a kind woman. She looks out for me. I do not need a man who will look down his nose at me."