Don't worry, Mindy, he's not sure why he feels different either. In his mind, he can't rationalize it either way: being angry or not, leaving him in a painful limbo. One thing he knows for sure: that the situation they've been forced into is so very wrong and not only for the young girl he sees before him or when he thinks of Ellie. They were all meant for much better than this, he's quite sure. No one deserved to die like this, no matter the promise of returning to the land of living after.

" 's not that," he explains a little more candidly than he probably should. "I don't... 's not like you had a choice, really."

But that's not the reason either and he can't wrap his head around it. He wishes he could make up his mind either way and then follow a sure course from there. He blows out a breath and shakes his head.

"Well that's for sure," he blurts out in response to her remark to the fear still churning in his chest. It's too soon to face her, the memories of the knife sliding into his chest still so fresh he can almost feel it now.

He pauses only a moment to ask, "But you're not going to. Are you?"